Why You STAY In Love With The Wrong People (+ How To Finally Get Your Confidence Back…)
Should I accept it when he belittles me and makes me doubt myself?
Am I going to make him angry if I call him out for canceling on our date last minute?
Will I be able to find anyone else if I lose this guy?
Is it too late for me to even have a romantic life? Will a guy truly want me as I am?
So many women have the same emotional response to these questions: FEAR.
They let fear be in charge of their relationships. They let fear be in charge of the career they choose. They let fear be in charge of their emotions every single day.
When this happens, your actions are no longer guided by what brings you closer to your best self. Instead, your animal brain takes over and you live in constant tension, wondering what terrible thing might be in the bushes around the corner, ready to pounce.
You get swamped by your career, money worries, fretting about your looks. You feel stuck. You walk through life just trying to keep your head above water.
And when you suddenly meet that guy you really like, that’s when you cling to him harder than anything else in the world. He’s your rock of stability. His love proves your worth something. He makes you feel like you’re doing ok (just about).
Until he isn’t…
What Makes You “Unshakeable” In Relationships
I talk about making ourselves strong, and people say: “But what about being vulnerable? What about just giving your heart to someone and seeing what happens?”
I get it. It sounds like a romantic story.
But being vulnerable and opening your heart doesn’t mean making yourself weak. If we do that, we don’t fall in love. We fall into obsession. That’s when we stop believing we can survive alone and cling to the wrong people.
The most high-value women I know are always working on making themselves stronger – they are vulnerable and sensitive, but they’re also smart and have an unshakeable inner core. Some permanent rock of self-esteem at the center that can’t be moved no matter what happens to them in love. These women don’t assume that it’s a guy or anyone else’s job to patch up their insecurities and bring meaning to their world – they build it themselves, piece by piece.
If you want to be build the foundation to win at love in the long-term you need three things:
You need the tools. How to flirt, how to communicate your emotions effectively, how to be comfortable with your sexuality, how to understand the psychology of what makes you stand out in a guy’s eyes.
This will get you the initial attraction – it’s the spark that makes you turn someone’s head and creates that allure of “I want her”.
Being honest. Taking time for what matters. Doing things that feed our soul, not our ego. Caring about family and friends. Being passionate and following your own bliss instead of doing what others expect.
Character is what makes us an incredible partner. Someone who is endlessly fascinating and who keeps others around because they live their lives at the highest level and have values that give them an incredible personality.
Attraction turns heads, character is what keeps someone around for the long-term.
Respect is showing you have a line. You don’t compromise your boundaries. You are internally fulfilled and aren’t afraid to walk away when someone doesn’t treat you well. This is powerful in making others see your value.
When you have respect: if a guy stops investing, you stop chasing.
You value yourself enough to know what you deserve. You don’t bang your head against a wall trying to get a guy to want to be with you (if he clearly shows he’s on-the-fence).
What’s missing? – The Most Important Piece…
It’s easy to list these three things: Attraction, Character, Respect.
But what does it take to get them?
Yep, that wishy-washy word that people throw out. “Believe in yourself”, “Have self-worth”, “Know your value”.
But that’s all sooo easy to say.
Then you meet that guy who makes your heart flutter, and it all goes out the window. Or you make eye contact with that cute trainer at the gym, but you’re too scared to take it further. You live in fear of rejection and always rush to comfort. You can’t bear the idea of confrontation or saying what you really feel. What if you get hurt again?
This is why it’s so annyoing when people tell you to “be yourself”. It’s the most over-used and unhelpful advice in the world. What if I don’t have the courage to be the person I want to be deep down inside?
Many people believe confidence comes from success, or looks, or money, or status, or having a great relationship. But what if all these things disappear tomorrow? It could happen. And then what? Will we just fall apart and never feel good about ourselves again? Wouldn’t that be a tragedy?
Hopefully by now you can see why it’s so crucial we get a handle on confidence once-and-for-all. So that we can develop an UNSHAKEABLE sense of self-worth and never settle for numbing ourselves and settling for CRAPPY treatment again.
If you’re ready to get serious and do this now, go watch Matt’s new video at GetCoreConfidence.com
This is one of the most exclusive talks we have ever released, and one of the most important. I want everyone to see it, because this is the foundation of EVERYTHING else we teach. Without a way to tap into core confidence, no amount of our techniques and tips will change your relationships.
So check it out, and please leave a comment on the video page let us know what you think.
Can’t wait to see you there – I hope you’re ready to finally discover your inner worth and live at the highest level.
It’s time to get out of the rut! ;)