Once a man has spotted you in a bar, likes what he sees and approached you (or visa versa) the next crucial step is your first conversation.
This is the deciding moment for whether you’re just a girl he’d like to chase for the night or a girl he’d like to chase long term.
To get rid of that boring small talk for good, here are five simple but effective ways to improve your conversation skills:
This isn’t a job interview so relax!
He wants to see that he can have fun talking to you otherwise he may as well go and continue the night with his mates. Don’t be afraid to make fun of yourself and him.
Commenting on people around you, like for example “that weird guy in the corner who you think might be talking to his hand” is a good way to improve conversation by keeping it fun and light hearted without putting too much pressure on focusing on each other.
2. Original Questions
No one wants to talk about the weather, or where they live or what time they got there in the first conversation; its incredibly dull territory.
Ask original questions, whatever pops into your head however obscure.
If your concerned about seeming like your trying too hard to be quirky, just admit to what your doing. For example, you might say, “Lets avoid starting with the cliché stuff, can I just ask what you had for breakfast?”
3. Swaying the conversation in your favour
It takes a few simple tips to keep the conversation showing you in a good light, ask him questions you know you have a good answer too as he will inevitable say ‘And you?’.
Never JUST say “Yes” or “No”; it will only cue an awkward silence. And tumble weed.
Elaborating on your answers is to communicating who you are and improving conversation skills.
4. Admit to the obvious
There is nothing worse then awkward silences where you both start looking around, pretend to be looking at the time or staring intently at a beer mat.
It takes two people to create a awkward moment, so what you can do to just nip it in the bud is acknowledge it! Try saying: ‘uh oh. Awkward silence looming. Quick think of a question’.
Or if your friends are obviously staring, making kissing gestures and giving you a thumbs up, say ‘Yes those are my friends acting like 12 yr olds but don’t worry I’m shopping for new ones tomorrow’
The number one cause of a conversation going stale will be because you’re so distracted trying to think of the next witty thing to say that you’re not actually listening to what he is saying.
The more intently you listen the more likely you are to come up with an engaging and witty response, and the more freely the conversation will flow!
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