Dealing with a break up is often a difficult experience for both parties, and trying to salvage a relationship from the brink is a tricky process with no quick fix available. I frequently advise that addressing some of the fundamental issues below within a relationship can make the difference and prevent a breakup.
Instantly prevent a breakup by ditching the neediness
Whilst exhibiting love for your partner is a requisite for a healthy relationship and by no means a negative thing, this should not be confused with neediness, which is a different beast altogether.
If you have ever experienced any of the following then you, along with many others, may have fallen victim to the neediness bug:
- Having all your own plans dictated by what your man feels like doing?
- Feeling unable to enjoy time away from your man?
- Feeling that you need constant emotional support?
- Getting all your validation from your man’s compliments or attention?
To prevent a breakup it is important that a healthy, balanced relationship is maintained, and If you fall prey to the neediness bug then you will never be fulfilled by your relationship, as the bug will never be satisfied. No matter how many compliments you receive, you will only ever take from the relationship. From a man or a woman’s perspective this is real issue that often leads to breaking up.
To prevent a breakup caused by neediness:
- Don’t let relationships overtake your life
- Don’t neglect your friends, hobbies or health
- Remember that a relationship can be an important component in your life, but never the only component.
Taking the Backseat in the relationship
Break ups are often caused by a unbalanced relationship, where both partners don’t see each other as equals. Has your relationship become one sided? Do you feel like you are constantly trying to meet your partner’s needs?
Or alternatively, are you bored because all he seems to do is try to please you?
If yes, then it is important to redress the balance. Restore balance to the relationship by making more ‘couple’ time to do things for each other. Alternatively if you feel you are always trying to please him then hold back on the affection and make it clear that until he makes time for your needs he won’t be getting your love.
Being a lazy no good partner
This can manifest itself in many negative ways within a relationship, including:
- Not caring about your appearance
- No more fun dates
- Taking each other for granted
- No more effort in your sex life
- No more “Just him and you time”
- Lack of affection – kissing / cuddling
Even just having a proper conversation can be jettisoned through laziness, where time spent with each other is dominated by the everyday motions such as kids, work and logistics. This replaces the themes of dreams, books, politics, the world, aspirations etc, that were part of the reason behind your initial attraction to one another.
To prevent a break up it is important that you don’t both become victims of inertia, just going through them options because you both feel secure that your partner isn’t going anywhere. This gradually takes its toll, as the variety and spice within a relationship can be lost. Ultimately this will lead to you or your partner associating the relationship / marriage with boredom, which can be the main reason behind cheating.
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