Are Vulnerable Women Weak?

Do you ever find yourself shut off from meeting people, reluctant to go out, or adverse to risk in your love life?

This week I want to make a distinction between weakness and vulnerability, showing you how it takes courage to get what you want in a relationship.

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40 Responses to Are Vulnerable Women Weak?

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  1. Lisa Young says:

    Matt this Video was the Perfect Way to Wrap Up my Day. Thank You so Much, You are a True Guardian Gift from Heaven <3

  2. Denia says:

    Dear Matthew,

    You know I have a Traumatic Brain Injury from being beaten up by a guy.
    Do this mean that I have the courage to do everything I need to do to feel fulfilled in a life after that?
    I feel as though you are giving me the go ahead to basically and blatently ask for what I need and to recieve it which is unlike the majority of folks who expect me to be weak because of fear.
    I am not afraid of many things since being so close to death and having survived I am now thriving!
    Thankyou for speaking out on behalf of us vunerables who do not want to be mistaken for being weak!
    Meanwhile it makes me feel like…I should be speaking out about this for the sake of other women! I am not afraid!
    It is inspiring that you are doing this standing up there and opening yourself up for all types of crticism. One lady recently told me that she presumes that you are in fact taking advantage of vunerable women by making a profit from their suffering!
    As a woman I now feel as though I should be up there giving this advice to my fellow women!
    I am grateful for this inspiration and would welcome being able to meet you at some point to discuss this!
    I recently spoke to Michael and your Dad about coming on a retreat but perhaps the best way forward is to simply speak to you personally!
    Please contact me via email and I will let you have my phone number.

    Love and Blessings

    Denia

  3. Denia says:

    Dear Matthew,

    You know I have a Traumatic Brain Injury from being beaten up by a guy.
    Do this mean that I have the courage to do everything I need to do to feel fulfilled in a life after that?
    I feel as though you are giving me the go ahead to basically and blatently ask for what I need and to recieve it which is unlike the majority of folks who.expect me to be weak because of fear.
    I am not afraid of many things since being so close to death and having survived I am now thriving!
    Thankyou for speaking out on behalf of us vunerables who do not want to be mistaken for being weak!
    Meanwhile it makes me feel like…I should be speaking out about this for the sake of other women!
    It is inspiring that you are doing this!
    As a woman I now feel as though I should be up there giving this advice to my fellow women!
    I am grateful for this inspiration and would welcome being able to meet you at some point to discuss this!
    I recently spoke to Michael and your Dad about coming on a retreat but perhaps the best way forward is to simply speak to you personally!
    Please contact me via email and I will let you have my phone number.

    Love and Blessings

    Denia

  4. Tamara says:

    Hi Matthew,

    Thank you for putting out the differents between the two! I was the one putting up the walls, breaking them down was my world being crushed. But I was determinded it had to change. So now I’m being vulnerable again and living my life, instead of just looking at it. So blessed to be free and being able to breathe.. #movingforward

    X Tamara

  5. J says:

    Hey Matt,

    I love your videos and especially your advice! I’m versing myself in your knowledge because it helps give perspective on past experiences and how I can better myself as a person.

    This is probably going to go unanswered but I’ve got a quick question to which I probably already know the answer, but I figured I would give it a shot because you’re especially responsive to people’s comments. I feel like I need to hear a professional, unbiased opinion.

    If my boyfriend, who treats me like a queen in practically every way, actually has no problem in flirting/sexting another girl whom he’s had feelings for before he met me yet he only knows her through the internet, should I end it with him?

    There are echoes of how he interacts with her in how he met me, something you mentioned in a video about cheating. And he has a (to my knowledge) small history of cheating on other girlfriends/potential partners.

    This wouldn’t be so hard to decide, like I said, if he weren’t practically perfect. I kinda need a kick in the butt I suppose.

    Thank you for reading this, I appreciate that even if you don’t have time to answer :)

  6. Dy says:

    Love u’ Matt !

  7. Melody says:

    Thank you, Matthew for reminding me that being vulnerable takes strength. I re-ead romantic texts from a man who “disappeared” a year ago. I had a loving and pained, visceral reaction. I want to talk to him again, but how? What are the “right” words? I was so vulnerable to him.
    I am proud that I took the chance… but (sadly) still healing.

    The end of the video made me laugh out loud, thanks :)

  8. Marrissa says:

    I don’t have a problem putting myself out there to date and interact but I have the problem of sharing my feelings and being more in depth with conversations. I won’t say I love you unless he does first and I don’t want to ask about our future.
    Been dating an amazing guy for a year and a half. But don’t know where it will end up

  9. Abhranil Chatterjee says:

    Why a man want to sex with woman???

  10. Margot says:

    You’re wrong, Matthew. Not the best video ending ever.

    It would’ve been if the cock were red.

  11. Saima says:

    Thanks sooo much for highlighting the distinction between the two. Your so spot on about what u said. Love the aura u emit in the video.

  12. Caroline says:

    I love the videos where you debunk the grey areas or the misconceptions that women have! Love the constant stream of videos! Great work!

  13. Maz says:

    Interesting to hear the 2 separated. Makes the effort now have more meaning.

    Would also be great if in the future there was a bit of advice about making eye contact included in one of the videos. Not asking for myself personally but I’m sure many others must struggle with this occasionally in social situations.

  14. Danyelle says:

    Matthew, can you please tackle the long distance relationship? At least the surface of the matter? What is your take on that?

  15. David D says:

    Funny you should mention that at the end…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3ArvLptuz8

  16. Anna says:

    After many, many years of existing after being very wounded, I opened back up, thanks to a particular gentleman. I am now living again and it feels so much better than to be closed off from the world and dead inside. I existed because I had to, for my children. But, I have found the love of my life (not the gentleman that opened me). He is everything and more than I ever thought I wanted in a relationship. I am the happiest I have ever been in life, because I allowed myself to live again! I recommend doing it, live life to its fullest everyday…..Matt, you are awesome and amazing!! I appreciate all your advice!!!

  17. Tamara says:

    The best part of the video “Are Vulnerable Women Weak” besides the content is how infectious your laugh was after you featured the vibrant blue cock. Thank you that made my morning to feel your authentic laugh just from the pure joy of having the best ending ever. Brilliant! It was my pleasure.

  18. Janice says:

    “Blue cock” best video ending ever!
    ROTFLMAO!!!!
    Thank you, I needed that laugh!

  19. Pauline says:

    thanks Matt!

  20. Marla says:

    Greetings Matthew.
    I spoke up last week and told a friend that i’d become close with that i was interested in him. he had met someone a month before unfortunately, but he responded in such a tactful way that our friendship is still great and just reinforces what a good friend he is. of course, it wasn’t the outcome i wanted. but i put myself out there and survived.
    thank you for this video.

  21. Megs says:

    Hi Matthew great to see London as your backdrop! Great video. So true about being vulnerable and taking the risk. Don’t they say “to love someone is giving them the power to break your heart but trusting them not to”? Falling in love makes your vulnerable but your program helps in making sure it’s the right person you fall for.
    Look forward to your next inspirational video
    Megs xx

  22. Tricia says:

    Visually beautiful video! Good content. More like this please.

  23. Ashley says:

    Hey Matthew. So I agree about your video ending… who doesn’t like a blue cock? LOL. Great topic to post on. Once upon a time when I was damaged, weak and hurting on the inside I never cried in front of people… but cried ALL the time in private. I hurt all the time and instead of healing it I silently tortured myself. After resolving these pains/hurt, I am happy and experience emotions in a much healthier way. Now I hardly cry at all because I’m happy most of the time, but when I do it is okay. It might happen for a moment at the end of a girly movie or when something difficult happens in my life and that’s ok. It’s not awkward because I don’t make it awkward. It lasts for a few moments, then I feel good because I got it “off my chest” and move forward with my life that is full of happiness and love. In fact, I had a guy say it was really cute that a tear trickled down my face at the end of a really beautiful movie, to which we both laughed and the moment was over. No awkwardness. I agree with everything you said about being vulnerable. I also believe that reaching that point is deeply authentic and who doesn’t want to be more authentic in life and love?! :-)

  24. Shev says:

    Thank you Matthew for hi lighting the distinction!! Spent so much time in the past not to be perceived as weak. Realized that I was also protecting myself from being vulnerable with others, because of negative comments from family on how I would be perceived (although in their minds it was well meaning, but in reality not helpful ).
    Have been allowing myself to be more vulnerable with others, for the past several months and this has made me a stronger person in the long run. It helps me try not to let what other people might say stop me from trying, which has been my pattern in the past ( I am not good, smart, pretty, thin, young enough etc) I think it has also made me more real and approachable with friends and colleagues! Of course, I’m still a work in progress, but so much better than where I was last year!! Good reminder why I need to keep working at it!

    Love that this topic pairs perfectly with the new book assigned – Brene Brown ‘s ” Daring Greatly” !! Incentive to start it ASAP! :)
    Thank you once again!

    Warmest regards,
    Shev

  25. kristine says:

    It’s so funny the topic you choose this week is actually one I’m struggling so hard with in my relationship. I hate to cry and I cried for the first time in front of my boyfriend. He was truly upset that I cried but it opened a door to which I had closed due to past experiences. Thank you I loved the video

  26. Mo says:

    This video reminds me what an awesome time I had with my sis in London :-) We had a ‘recovery’ stop in Trafalgar Square in a nice coffee bar. We have to go back :-)

  27. Marina says:

    This video and discussion on vulnerability is an awesome and important topic and great clarfication and distinction between vulnerability (having a courageous heart to speak the truth of what you are feeling/experiencing) and weakness, so worthy of commenting and sharing, great work detective Matthew Hussey, thank you love it :)More people need to know this I believe men and women so I am sharing it….keep up the great juicy topics you are sharing !

  28. Kathryn says:

    Great video Matthew.
    I love your line about living not merely existing. To do this also requires us to let go of any baggage to live, like I’m too fat, not pretty enough, not wealthy enough etc. To ‘let it go’, to coin what is now a Huge cliche! Your programmes help us to address this.
    Another cliche is the question always asked ‘what did you take away’? And I attended your live event in London. I’m sure no-one’s remotely interested in what I personally took away, but I just want to point out how amazing you are. I really took away what you taught of caring too much what people think and why this is such a huge problem in stopping anyone from getting on in life. Taking those risks and taking action to live not exist. To be hiding in the corner and not entering the big boxing ring of the larger world out there.
    You know I think you are great, but thank you again for stopping to shoot this video. And Jameson, thank you. What is that bright blue cock about?!
    Kathryn x
    ps. you are now to blame though, I can’t get ‘Uptown Funk’ out of my head!!

  29. Emma says:

    SG,agree Brene Brown book is great, love her TED Talk too.

    Matt wonderful to see you in London. Great video. Though I believe humans are adaptable so even IF fear of being vulnerable keeps us single for years, even decades we become good and happy with ourselves in any case.

  30. Sg says:

    Read a book my a lady named Dr Brene Brown called Daring Greatly. It’s a good book about her research on vulnerability. Highly recommend it

    • Jennifer Lisette says:

      The moment I saw Matthew´s words, I also thought of Brené’s talkshow ” The Power Of Vulnerability” – my wisdom/principles helps me conquer and understand my vulnerability!

  31. Dasch says:

    Hi Mathew,

    Wise words. I’m one of those people and being aware of that, I made a resolution for this year to be more vulnerable. I would have to risk it to win it, right?
    Thanks for your videos and your sometimes goofy sense of humor. You’re the best!

  32. Jill says:

    You just had to throw a penis joke in there didn’t you ;)

  33. Shade says:

    Awesome video Matthew!

  34. Elizabeth says:

    Matthew, I’d love to hear your advice on how to handle a guy who is afraid of being vulnerable. I went on several dates with a guy who was holding back from opening up. He seemed afraid to hold my hand, kiss me, really reveal personal things, etc., and yet he kept asking to see me. What is going on with this type of behavior? Has he been burned, or is he just not that into me? How do I handle this type of guy?

    • Jane says:

      I had a very similar experience. I tried a lot to get him to open up to me, but after 6 months we broke up. And usually people are very own with me.
      I would love to know if there was something I could have done to help him.

  35. Ramona says:

    I like this way of thinking, but how can I make sure that I will be healed after being hurt? I am a sensitive girl and I am scared to death that if a guy hurt my feelings I might not be able to love again! At the same time I know there is a price I must pay for finding the right one.

    I mean my weakness from taking risk at least in relationships comes from the fear of not getting healed after a failure.

  36. Meela says:

    I’m afraid of being vulnerable because the idea of caring about people scares me because i’m afraid of losing them. This is with all people, not just romantic prospects. I am not a weak person who lacks courage and i am not dead inside. It’s about hurt.
    Yes, it’s a horrible thing that I had put up walls to “protect myself, they haven’t gone down since i was a kid..In that i end up hurting and pushing away the very people i care about the most,the very people that could help me the most and it’s a struggle but i don’t appreciate you talking about it like it’s just stop doing that.. Maybe you have never lost every single person you have ever loved before, some have and i t leaves you with a few issues.I have convinced myself and others that I simply don’t care for so long that it feels like it is a part of me , which it’s not.
    People look at me and they think im the strongest person in the world. I feel more like a mass murderer than a human inside. Call them a fake kind of strength but they are like that for a reason, and no one can hurt them.
    We’re all people going through what we’re going through, give them your hand don’t criticize who they are and what they are trying to overcome.

    One of my favorite quotes of all time : “Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!”

    And that’s exactly what i’m going to do .

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