3 REAL Cures For Loneliness…

I realized a huge truth about getting rid of loneliness that I didn’t mention in last week’s video.

Learn this simple-yet-powerful concept, and you’ll have an essential tool to create happy, meaningful relationships and feel connected again…


►► You don’t have to do it alone. Let’s take this life-changing journey together…MatthewHusseyRetreat.com

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

391 Responses to 3 REAL Cures For Loneliness…

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  1. Maria says:

    Hello Matt!!!First time commenting on your video…I have been a fan of yours a couple of years now and a huge junky of your Sunday videos!!! I love your advice!!! They have helped me rebuild my perspective and views about life in general.
    I am 29 and at a turning point of my life. Although it wasn’t an easy choice I have decided to go back to the university and study for a whole new subject in order to practice the profession I have always wanted. To do so I had to move from my home town away from my friends and family and start over. The last couple of weeks in this new place i admit I felt quite lonely sometimes although I try not to show. Loneliness also makes me dought about my decision whether I am doing the right thing or if this is all a big mistake. Maybe I should have settled after all it wasn’t all that bad with my old job. I have lost so much time and I am 29 now starting over … Maybe it’s too late… Loneliness can be ruthless sometimes when you are left alone with yourself your fears doughts and insecurities….

  2. Lu says:

    Feeling connected to someone around you or the people you’re with is a much happier experience than being in a room of people that have no interest in you or have nothing in common with you. In other words, being with people who don’t really care about you make it feel very lonely.
    But even though I do agree that connectedness is certainly a joyful experience and essential for not feeling lonely, you still need that other essential piece, someone who really cares about you and wants to be with you.
    Going solo can only suffice for so long before the loneliness sets in and you crave a partner or soulmate.
    Btw, your videos and advice have helped me feel better through many lonely times of hopelessness.
    Thank you!

  3. Claire Moorhead says:

    I’m a single Mum of 5, life is busy but lonely, always hearing other people’s news with none to share of my own, here for everyone but no one is here for me it seems, guess that’s independence. I will have to start asking others for help not the other way around… Great video… Thought provoking!

  4. Oksana says:

    Matthew, i genuinely believe you are changing this world for the better. I am a cult victim and your videos is one of the reasons i woke up from my indoctrination. I was like: OMG! This guy has more wisdom than the people (the leaders) who claim that they are the only chanel of communication between God and humankind! Normally they have bullshit advice when it comes to dating and marriage that NEVER work. Also, you are much kinder and more concerned about people than any religious person i know.

  5. Karis says:

    Hello Matthew. I wrote this in the comment section of one of your more recent videos. (Don’t ask me to remember which one) but it never hurts to repeat.:-) I just wanted to say thank you. I started watching your youtube videos a few months back, and they have completely transformed my outlook on relationships. Because of your advice I have become someone who seems more available and more reasonable, and much less awkward. A little more than a week ago I started talking to the guy who came to unlock my door after I’d left my keys in my apartment. I’d talked to him once before, and at the end he asked if I liked tacos. He said he knew the best taco place in town, and he’d like to take me sometime. And I said that would be great.:-) Now, 3 dates in.. We text good morning to each other every day and never run out of things that we want to do or show the other person. I know it’s early days, but it is so nice to date someone who doesn’t need to be told to be nice and understanding. They just are. Don’t get me wrong, I still have plenty of insecurities, but I’ve gotten serious with him a couple of times and he has not backed away. Yet. How insane is that? So thank you Matthew, I am in heaven. Without you I probably would’ve been moping too much to appear attractive to this guy on the day he unlocked my door for me. Thank you for all your wonderful advice, I recommend you to all the friends I know who are having difficulties. I was once lonely, and now I’m not anymore. And I have you to thank for that.

  6. Hannah says:

    I think that loneliness indefinitely defines who we become with society. For example: If we feel alone with our spouse, even if we are around them twenty four seven, that lack of connection brings pain and social separation to our emotional health. I agree that you have to be alone with your own thoughts on occasion in order to figure out who you are as a person and what you truly want out of any relationship. Loneliness is extremely internal, and the older I become the more I realize the importance of not only social interactions, but social connections. It is hard to know yourself, your worth, and your standards when you surround yourself with people you have very little emotional or intellectual connection with. That being said, be it your best friend or your spouse.. Communication, interests and moral understandings all have crucial Impacts on who you become based on your interpersonal needs. Loneliness tends to diminish when we find people we love and connect with under the surface, not just on the surface. At least that’s what I’ve continued to learn :) Thank you so much for your intellect, Matt. You are always such a help!

  7. Vicky says:

    Hello Matthew thank you so much for your videos they really are an inspiration, I get a lot from them x

  8. Bee Mather says:

    Hi Matthew. A great video! I think most of the planet can relate to it :).

    I love your insights into people – apologies I can’t afford to buy any of your courses (I did attend your day in London a couple of years ago and enjoyed it) but keep up the good work!

  9. Mercy says:

    Love how you explain things through your videos, shows your vulnerability :) and encourages me to continue in the same as well!

  10. Suzanne Borelo says:

    Matthew, I get so much out of your videos and hope that when you have a seminar near me that I am able financially to go! You really are making the world a better place by helping people in their relationships. Much love and appreciation,
    Suzanne

  11. Swee Whitehouse says:

    Showing vulnerability to build connection…great concept. I totally agree with you Matt that solitude is a beautiful thing but certainly we would all like more connection with our community. I will meditate now on how to put your great concept into action.

    I have loved your videos. You have a great ability to distil abstract concepts into concrete actionable steps. Well done!

  12. Janet says:

    Love, love, love! You are so right when it comes to seeing vulnerability being a standard. This year I have started writing a postcard every week to someone. For no other reason than to tell them they are beautiful, wonderful, special and they matter. I’ve felt so much love and connectedness to these people (some of who I don’t even know – I got their addresses from people I know who thought those people were amazing). It really helps, give love, focus on love, zoom in on what you love and it will come back to you with such force you’ll feel amazing. Love always, Janet

    • Bee Mather says:

      Janet – That is such a cool thing to do. Not many of us (me included) are brave enough to do that). Beautiful!

      • Janet says:

        Thank you, Bee, wouldnt it be AWESOME if people did it anyway? To me, being vulnerable is just that: having all these worries, fears and anxiety and… doing it anyway. The reward is so much bigger than I could ever explain. Love, Janet

  13. Jingjing Li says:

    Matthew Hussey! You are one amazing human being!!! Just watched your interview with Lewis Howes – truly appreciate your beautiful presence on the planet. And it’s ok that you don’t believe (yet) in the infinity/eternity of Life/Soul/Consciousness :P

  14. lynelle says:

    Hi Matt!! Hi Jameson!

    Just thought I should say hi :) — I blab on here all the time, even though I know you don’t see my responses, and I’m also not part of your paying community. It doesn’t matter, I’ll just keep saying hi over time — and I hope it’s a long time.

    I LOVE your vision for our online community, Matt. Boy that was clear when you spit it out: “…..I want us to actually have a community that thrives on great energy here, not just positive energy, but Good energy, where we’re here to help each other…”

    You tell ’em. Yes, both loneliness videos are just excellent. I had been set to respond, “oh, please say ‘aloneness’ is different from ‘loneliness'” or some such verbiage, but you made it real clear the way you put it. THANKS.

    I love you guys. xoxooii

  15. gemma phıllıps says:

    I would be very hesitant to show too much vunerability to others because this could be interpreted by others as low self esteem and we could become magnets for manipulative people. Better to show this side of ourselves to people we now and trust

    • Janet says:

      Dear Gemma,

      Your comment touched me, because to me, vulnerability comes from a place of strength and trust. It’s basically telling people: “I am going to be me, I’m going to be real. I am aware there are people out there who might not have good intentions, but I am strong and trust that I can deal with dissappointment. I am not naive, I am true to who I am and I will not let my fear change that.”

  16. Stephanie says:

    Thank you for this video. It was really helpful the way you frame loneliness as an emotion that can be manipulated to be good sometimes. Being vulnerable with no expectations of it being reciprocated is hard. It’s hard when you’re expected to be strong or independent. At the same time, that’s also when I feel actually heard/seen/acknowledged. Thank you again.

  17. Cathy Orem says:

    Over the last week your comments about letting yourself be vulnerable has really resonated with me and that it’s OK & effective in communicating with others so they can actually see the real you. Thank you for giving me “permission” that I don’t have to hold back, keep my guard up or risk being the real me. My quest is to have healthy relationships with everyone in my life, and it can only get better from here! THANK YOU Matt

  18. Jaee says:

    Matthew,

    After watching this video, I felt like giving you a standing ovation. All of the concepts you have put forth are exactly on the mark. Thank you for doing this. You are doing a very noble thing by giving everyone hope and inspiration. The world needs more people like you.

  19. Alexis says:

    Off topic but.. Matt, what are some books that have influenced you or the work of people that we all could learn from?

  20. Thobile says:

    I am the life of the party most times but if only the ppl I’m around know how lonely I am . I am so lonely especially becoz I’ve faced so mch rejection tht now I’ve left feeling like I really dnt matter it’s so stuck with me idk wat I should do ….

  21. A says:

    I don’t think there’s anything sadder than living in London. I came here four years ago and I still can’t find my place, let alone meet normal guys that won’t disappear after 3 dates. Your tips for curing loneliness are great, but I don’t think they would work in a city where everyone is dehumanised.
    I don’t feel lonely anymore, I feel numb, but I get some gratification in reading and watching you, thank you for that.

    • Bee Mather says:

      Oh I’m sad to read your comments as London can be a difficult place as ambition and ego does seem to rule. However when we really look at everyone as an individual in most there is kindness and love so please please don’t give up!

  22. Annneli (on-a-lee) says:

    Matthew,

    Thank you for videos! I really appreciate you sharing your knowledge. Not only are they inspirational but I learn several new things each time I hear you speak. Thank you for sharing your light and knowledge with the world.

  23. Tyna says:

    I took my daughter to college mid July and since then I have felt my life slip from under me. My best friend is gone but also my main purpose for living these last 10 years. I thought leaving my husband was he hardest part of my life but this now tops it. The loneliness is overwleming. I’ve tried to befriend people. I’ve tried to express to my friends how much I need them right now. But more often than not I am left alone. I’m a naturally happy person and I feel so lost.
    I decided that since my daughter was away at a navy academy and working hard, I would work hard too. I’ve been going to the gym so that the next time she sees me she would see I’m taking care of myself. To be honest it would be the first time in my life that I am doing so. Also, I know men find my weight extremely unattractive. But I have a warm heart and a vibrant personality. So maybe they don’t want to date me yet but at least I won’t let myself blend into the the background!
    Your videos have made me feel so validated. And less alone. I wanted to thank you for that. I wander around asking myself “what’s wrong with me? Why don’t people see I have needs too? Why don’t people see how vulnerable I am?” Because I’m so tired of hearing “you’re so strong Tyna”. People don’t realize that the “strongest” people are actually the weakest. We feel too much. Therefore we build ourselves of steel to withstand every storm. But even steel can bend. And eventually break. I’m trying to fight against my breaking point every single day.
    Thank you and the community you’ve built for showing me that there are a lot of souls out there in the world similar to mine. I appreciate the kindness and hope I can keep building myself up. Be well.

    • gemma phıllıps says:

      Have you tried Meet up Tyna? It’s a great way to meet new people and take up new hobbies at the same time. Maybe there are some groups near where you live.

  24. Majd says:

    i wish I could a man like you Matthew, I would be the happiest alive creature.
    Your video always comes from the deepest part of a human’s heart and mind. I truly love your previous video and this one. It brought up tears to my eyes since I am the loneliest girl in the world. No family, No friend, No partner. Just going to school and taking care of my son.

  25. Safaa says:

    Thank you Matthew for this video and all other videos that I learned from a lot.Feeling lonely before made me start dating somebody I didnt like at the begining and I suffered after he disappered. But I thankful for this experience because I needed time to know myself more and discover how to change my life.Thank you because you gave me hope and good ideas that helped me to improve the way of thinking in myself.

  26. Brent Riley says:

    Thank you for this video! I have been talking with a girl for some time and she always says she doesn’t like this boy around me, but last night I learned that she still has feelings for him. I was feeling very lonely after reading her reply. This video was very inspiring. I just need to find myself and the things that I love to do which can decrease my loneliness. You’re a great motivational figure.

  27. Michelle Ruggieri says:

    Thank you Matthew!! The worst loneliness I’ve felt was being in a marriage where I couldn’t connect with my spouse. I typically don’t have a hard time connecting with people because I’m very open and they tend to open up to me because of that. How can I connect with so many others but not the guy I’m sharing a bed with. (Past tense because we are separated).
    I’m all signed up for your November retreat so look forward to meeting you, your family and the rest of the crew. Thanks for everything you do!
    Michelle

  28. Tam Le says:

    thanks a lot Mathew for a valuable speech. I’ve been suffering from loneliness for years and it seems I finally found light at the end of the tunnel after watching your video.

  29. Kristina says:

    You, as a Stark, with the Game of Thrones theme song, is the ultimate trifecta of sexiness. Never stop bringing your quirky side. Please.

    I work almost entirely alone. One of the ways I keep myself sane is by listening to Podcasts. They further help me by giving me a topic to connect on with others.

    For me, it is a more rewarding use of my time than seeing what others are up on on social media. Time spent there often increases my loneliness.

    Thank you for letting us in on part of your party. Your videos and programs have brought me hope in countless ways over the last year, and have likely saved my life. You have inspired me to get on a more meaningful path for my life.

  30. Linda crossman says:

    Yes this emotion I live with constantly, being injured on my job 30 Yrs Ago, the experiences that I have lived through out my injured life is truly has been quite a journey now wheelchair bound widow, I find people together all seem happy and loved, I on the other hand feel left out of society like being left out on the play ground from school, I am sure everyone has felt this way once in their lifetime…. I have learn to dig deep inside …let my insides feel freedom from the restences of life give and take…l laugh freely, talk and express myself with wirds and body language …I watch and make sure everyone is at ease…just to have people that are positive, happy go lucky are nice to be around…I have always draw people to me…they come with their life concerns…the talk on how life really is for them…I have lived a life of bedridden state, not seeing people for weeks on end…lonieness is scary, uncomfortable and at times unbearable….but manageable…thanks Matthew for all your advise, I really enjoy learning from the master…of connecting with our mates….Linda…

  31. Elisabeth says:

    Hi Matthew,

    I watched your video without even having seen last week´s video. I really liked this and support the idea of allowing and encouraging more vulnerability in our (online) lives. I don´t normally comment on anything, but to make a statement of me being one of all these people who feel lonely and melancholic and alone a lot, I wanted to write something.
    Loneliness is something very human and surprisingly common- but, actually, not even that surprising in our individualistic, smartphone- headphones- and eletronic device-loving world.

    Thank you so much for your sincerity.
    Elisabeth

  32. Syd says:

    Oh my God, you’re so beautiful

    Can you be happy all the time?

  33. wissal says:

    i am a 22 young female artiste and i live most of time alone in my workshop, They always ask don’t you feel lonely?
    Well the truth is that i have my own interior limitless word, i can live with my self for weeks. And i enjoy it.

  34. Kimia says:

    You are the best matthew. Your videos and book really changed my life.

  35. Anna Wi. says:

    There is a good line at the end of the really-not-so-bad movie “How to Be Single?”:

    ‘The thing about being single is, you should cherish it.
    Because, in a week, or a lifetime, of being alone, you may only get one moment when you’re not tied up in a relationship with anyone.
    One moment, when you stand on your own.’

    I believe that it is neither good nor bad to be single/alone. What matters is to make the best use of it. To cherish it, to learn from it, to get inspirations and inspire and to live it on 100%. It’s not a ‘parking mode’ on our gears, its a ‘drive mode’, so let’s drive fast and have fun.

    THANK YOU Matthew for being a GPS for many of us :*

  36. Fleur says:

    Superb video. Very poignant and relative to me at this current moment. I have moved away from where I grew up and am now moving back because I feel so cut off and alone. I’m still moving back, however after watching this video I’m going to practice connecting with as many people as I can to see the difference. A smile goes a long way to begin connections, so I’m going to continue to smile :-D

  37. Annia says:

    Thank you Matthew.
    I think I relate the most with the sense of worthiness, feeling like you don’t belong or do not deserve to be loved. I’m usually confortable with myself and the person I’ve become. It’s the moment we stop to look around, What am I missing? And why? Am I not enough or is something wrong with me?
    Having you talking about it and actually understanding the exact moment when I feel most lonely makes me break into tears, and they’re happy tears, of realizing that even in my loneliness someone out there shares the same feeling and I wasn’t so alone after all.
    Thank you for being vulnerable ❤️

  38. Nicole says:

    Hi Matthew,

    I don’t normally leave comments but I figured I would this time. I am back for another year of college and although I am surrounded by familiar faces, it has been hard to start back up those interpersonal connections. I also am rooming with a new group of girls. Some of the women’s comments about feeling alone in their home or in a crowded space have very much applied to me this first week back. I feel alone in my common room surrounded by all my roommates or at a bar where I know no one.

    I think that just listening to you and the videos of other women was truly a cathartic experience that made me feel as though it is okay to feel lonely and that it is natural.

    I already feel less lonely just knowing that I am not the only one who feels alone :)

  39. Syd says:

    MATTHEW CARLOS HUSSEY

  40. Meity says:

    Thank you for this video. I started reading your blog looking for help in order to find a boyfriend (which worked by the way, his name is Christian) but I continued coming back to your site because it helps me conquer my biggest fear: being vulnerable. I know that making myself/ letting myself be vulnerable will make my life richer. But sometimes it’s scary as hell.
    So, thank you for your help.

  41. Susana says:

    You make everything feel so easy with your insights and practical tools and advices. I am so grateful for finding you three years ago when I was so in need for sincere advice.

    I always leave your blog with a big smile in my face and in peace with me and the world, not only because you’re sometimes funny (in a good and positive way), but also because of your good energy and useful tools.

    Thank you all (you and your team) for being there.

    A big hug :-)
    Susana

  42. Syd says:

    MATTHEW CORNELIUS HUSSEY

    Do your advices work to find husband or just relationship?

    I want a husband who doesn’t suffocate me or murder me, who understands my need for space, and doesn’t talk a lot.

  43. Teresa says:

    Mathew thanks for your thoughts. Really! Yes just like any emotion loneliness and self doubt too are just tract pathways in our brain that are trying to give us information to help us make a good decision. And the relieving news is that those emotions aren’t the final word or even the absolute truth, it’s just feedback, it’s the brain orientating, providing data based on the millions of bits of information stored in our brains. We then get to utilize this information as well as all other forms of input to choose a beneficial and positive course of action. So what is a beneficial course of action? Choose to smile, choose to be brave and chat with the stranger on the train, choose to go for that refocusing regenerating jog, choose to believe in your worth because you are the only you, choose to find solace in your solitude for the moment and appreciate it for the present, and look forward to the times of connecting in the future. I mean, studies show that the emotions centre of our brain is not in charge, thank goodness. If we could just remember what emotion’s purpose is, we could use them as they were intended which is basically a warning sign to avoid imminent harm or pain, and/or it’s a cue to pause and take a moment to analyze and identify the problem and then choose a good course of action to take.
    It may sound a little “emotionless” to put it in these terms but if it can help you sort out those possibly overwhelming moments some of the time then why not

  44. Mary Ellen says:

    Hey! ‘Liberace Ned Stark…’ Thanks for keeping me company at 3:16 a.m., for making me laugh out loud!, and for being available and vulnerable. ❤️

  45. Denise says:

    Thank you Matthew,
    I hereby commit to making it my new standard o
    Smile at people I pass and make eye contact with more often and say hello to people waiting in line next to me.

  46. Debra says:

    I think loneliness is felt mostly when we are looking out at the world and not in our own self . I’ve lived alone for 15 years . I love my life . I need the quote to think straight . Lol. If your lonely , your not dreaming big enough . Your goals are not set high . Just my thought .

  47. Syd says:

    MATTHEW ARNOLD HUSSEY

    It’s Sydney Felicia de Australia. I am writing to inform that my meds are making me fat, nauseous, and angry that I’m fat. It increases my apetite and supposedly reduces my metabolism. None of my favorite clothes fit me the same way and I feel bad about my attractiveness.

    On the upside, i am less judgmental of other fat people.

  48. Michelle says:

    I love times of solitude and times of being with others.
    Last time I was overloaded with lonelyness I got out of the house and took a walk. I enjoyed the walk and by the time I’d walked over a mile I wasn’t thinking of being lonely any more or frustrated with sercomstances. I felt rejuvinated.

  49. Maka Lomadze says:

    It was great… it was a discovery for me that we’d better show our soft side to others. Thank you Mat, it was really touching…

  50. Tina says:

    This is exactly where I am in life, learning how to love being by myself before anyone can get into my heart again. I love being vulnerable, it makes me feel alive. Maybe sometimes I’m not sure how to dial it into one specific person.. I push back myself when I feel to much at times.

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Matthew Hussey talks about loneliness
Feeling lonely…

Loneliness. I’ve felt it too. But I’ve realized over the years that there are ways to break free of this...

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