He’s Stringing You Along? Text Him This Now…

Quick quiz: How do you respond when a guy gives you mixed signals in his texts?

He sends a few texts, then goes cold for a couple of days. Then he texts you again… and disappears for another 48 hours. Do you…

  1. Get mad (and text him to let him know)
  2. Never speak to him again
  3. Use my #1 texting technique for effortlessly putting yourself back in control and drawing him to you.

If you chose C (which I hope you did), you’ve got to watch this video.


 ►► Confused about why men disappear? My FREE guide explains… → WhyHesGone.com

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

76 Responses to He’s Stringing You Along? Text Him This Now…

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  1. VZ says:

    I greatly enjoyed this particular video, this is my biggest problem with men….texting! I never know how to respond in a text and feel my responses never get the response I want. I don’t know if Im not putting enough personality or too much personality, Im lost in translation. I meet guys and exchange a few texts here and there but it never seems to go beyond that. Some have asked me out but then cancel or they’ve asked but it never happens. It seems everyone is so busy, lost their phone, or completely disappear into thin air. WHAT AM DOING WRONG??? Its reached a point of me completely over thinking it and not sure how to navigate through the world of dating by text. Please do more videos like this with other scenarios, to show how to respond to any text message like a pro so I can actually make it to a first date….PLEASE!

  2. A. says:

    I come back to this video again and again. I’m in the early stages of dating someone and have to remember, “I invest when you invest. But I won’t invest just because I like you.”

    It’s still hard to remain warm when they are flaky! But then that’s why I keep this video bookmarked so I can pause, come back here, and remember how to do that. :-)

  3. Miss Bee says:

    Second time I have to write to let you know that this was one great video! The second of my favorite two, so far, very useful! Thank you!

  4. Arian says:

    I used that liner on him but he didnt reply at all.. should i just give up or send him another msg?

  5. Sharon says:

    Such a great video! Awesome advice on what to text back- and what not to! Its so simple, yet so effective!

    Thanks Matthew!

  6. Merav says:

    Thank You! cant wait for my guy to text me his apology for not texting the whole week so i can say “you operate at grandpa-esque
    texting speed”. BTW burger text work even in Hebrew but i feel like im coming off to sexual…

  7. Francine says:

    Forgot to ad… your video was amazingly helpful. You were ‘bang-on’. There had been a long silence from my guy for a week with an aloof reply about work taking over his time. I responded with a very casual short ‘no hard feelings’email very similar to your example in your video. And, behold, he sent me a reply within a few minutes asking to get together this Thursday. You are a shining star! Thank you :)

  8. Francine says:

    I’ve been with a man for a year. When I see him, which has been almost every week, he sees me at my house. Although he has mentioned that he wants to take me out dancing on the town, he has never made that first step, yet. Reason… he has been in a long term (broken) relationship and is in limbo as to jumping ship. I think I’m in love with him and can’t leave him. I think he is a good man. We are an older couple (50s). Do you, or your team have any advice?

  9. Claudia Arias Soto says:

    I have a motto that rules my life and my relationships…. my investment and interest in you is directly proportional to the investment and interest you show me as simply as that . Thats why I love your last video Matthew

  10. Barbra says:

    Hi Mathew
    How do I get your blog as a newsfeed in my mail? Just came across you, watched your late night Facebook video and the video about making a man work for your time. Would love to see learn more. Thanks barbra from Cape Town. My instagram name is livebelievelovetraineat
    Thank you so much
    Ps the way you speak about your family is incredible. I miss my mom so much. You’re special.

    • Mars says:

      Hi Barbra! So glad you’re learning something from these videos! To subscribe to the blog, just enter your name and email address on our website’s homepage. Oh, and make sure you subscribe to our Youtube channel, too. We have new videos on there every Sunday. Enjoy!

  11. Maryanne says:

    Great video! Thank you

  12. Maryanne says:

    Great great great video! Thank you

  13. Abigail says:

    Hello Mathew, thank you for your videos and advice. I apologize in advance for the long post :) but I’ve been having quite the delema and at this point I’m very confused. See, me and this guy have known eachother for… well as long as I can remember. Our mothers are friends from church and so my family and his would meet eachother often. And if you are thinking this made me and him close… you are dead wrong. Actually we hated eachother for the fact that since we were so close in age everyone would tease us.
    During a period of my life me and my family moved away and after many years we moved back and we went to the same church and that was when I came across him again. We never spoke… we absolutely had no interest in one another. That changed one day when I saw the way he played with Sophie, a 5 year old girl, and For me personally there is nothing more atractive then a guy who wants kids, I also realized that I knew this guy sence birth and I see him all the time yet I don’t talk to him. So I aimed to change that. We extchanged numbers and began to text eachother…actually we only texted eachother when I texted him first. It would take him days to respond and when he did it was short and to the point. And I would get so frustrated and annoyed, however I was really angry when we had plans to hang out and he stood me up. That was the last straw for me. And I know Mathew, letting him have it isn’t good, but he really did hurt my feelings so I snapped at him gave him a lecture then deleted his number.
    We went months without talking, and then one day I decided to change my hair style. I went to church and I saw Alex we exchanged hellos and that was it. But then later that night I get a text message. This is how it went…
    Him- hey
    Me- hey random person, I don’t have your number in my contacts what’s your name?
    Him- Jose
    Me- uh, I know like 30 different joses, gotta be more specific
    Him- oh dang you really did delete my number, it’s -/@*
    Me- oh hey, yeah I did.
    Him- I just wanted to apologize, I don’t have anything against you and I hope you don’t either
    Me- thanks, you’ve never apologized befor so I do appreciate it, but you were so mean to me when I was trying so hard to be your friend and you know what it felt like crap.
    Him- yea well I realize I was being an ass and I’m sorry. I’m ready to be friends.
    Me- you say you want to be my friend but you never tried before. You’ve never asked me, hey how are you? Actually this is the first time you’ve ever texted me first. And I’m not trying to make it hard on you but for people to be friends it has to come both ways. You just seemed like you never cared so I stopped trying.
    Him- I know I know… you’re right. But trust me it’s not just you.
    Me- what do you mean?
    Him- it’s all my friends really like I never text them first.
    Me- yeah but it felt like whenever we texted or talked or whatever you seemed like you where being forced to be there. That’s when I realized we were never friends.
    Him- why don’t we just start fresh… I wanna actually get to know you. I wanna be friends
    Me- maybe, I don’t know. I wanna think about it. And I’m sorry if I get frustrated with you sometimes. I need to be nicer and more patient with you. I do think you’re a good guy but I don’t know what to think of you anymore. If someone told me you would apologize to me I would have sworn they were crazy, I guess I was wrong, But I do appreciate you talking to me.
    Him- I’ll try to be a better friend to you too… well I got to sleep, goodnight.
    Me- wait, I just wanna know, what brought this up? Why not sooner? Why are you talking to me after this long. Then you can go to sleep
    Him- idkkkk well I wanted to say I really liked your hair today but I couldn’t and we’ll yeah
    Me- oh ok, thank you. Ok now you can go to sleep. Goodnight.

    So this happened, and it left me very conflicted and confused. I didn’t know what think when he mentioned how he liked my hair. I honestly didn’t believe he was telling me the truth so a couple days later I texted him to text me when he got of of work because we needed to talk
    And this is how it went…
    Him- hey so what’s up?
    Me- well I know I already asked you this but, why do you want you be friends all of a sudden? It just makes no sense to me and it’s been bugging me.
    Him- idk I didn’t like the way things were
    Me- ok… but why? You’ve never seemed to care and now all of a sudden you want to be friends. I just feel like there’s more to the story then you’re telling me and it’s bugging me, I haven’t slept in like two days
    Him- no that’s it lol, it’s been bugging me for a while and so I decided that it was time
    Me- what do you mean it was bugging you?
    Him- it was bugging me that you wouldn’t even look at me lol
    Me- yea sorry about that. I shouldn’t have gotten that angry with you that was wrong of me and I really am sorry.
    Him- well it’s ok, we good now?
    Me- yeah we’re good.
    Him- mkmk

    Then this happened. Again I felt like he wasn’t being completely honest but I decided to give him a chance anyways me and some friends had some plans to go to the movies and I invited him to come along with us he said yes and when that day came and we were all together he never spoke to me actually he didn’t even come near me yeah he’d glance at me but that was it. At the end we went our separate ways and we haven’t spoken sense. Whitch has left me confused, because why text me and say all those things if you are only going to avoid me? I need clairafacation. Can some one please explain to me his behavior??? If he honestly meant what he said then I would give it shot but I’m not sure what he wants. I dont know if he’s playing me or something but I need help. What is his game Mathew?

  14. Carla says:

    Matthew, you are incredible. That is all.

  15. Michelle B. says:

    Hi Matthew my new is Shelli..I’m interested in a guy I was in a relationship when we were you I told some serious lies about my child being his..broke his heart..he kept getting incarsarated each time I went away..young and restless looking for love..well he looked for me 20 yes later and found me through my grandma ..he wealthy now and had some wanted closure the first visit ..he was really demanding and throwing around altamadems we ended the friend ship..we found each other again on Feb when he finally answered my request..I’m nowhere nearly as financially stable as he is and some of my girly ways haven’t changed…he I’m always texting him sending cute pis every day..I Lear rd from just watching that I’m doing to much I’ve been talking to much..ect ect I’m celibate and not that fast young girl that I use to be so definitely I’m saving my kooch he show interest in songs and lil cute emojis..however he’s a workaholic so he says and he also thinks people want something from him not just me his mom sis when we ask for quality time..I hope u can give me some info I think the answer is in me tho..he shows interest but is still different I understand his fear ..however do we move on or let it go? Sorry for long long story..but your so great and I like him even tho we need to still get to know each other again

  16. Jenny says:

    I used your text last night Matthew on a guy who takes up to a week or more to reply to mine. He text me at 11.31pm to say he’d just finished writing his reports and thought he’d say Hi. I replied with your text and this morning he answered “Yes you too”. when I wished him a great week! Lol….well at least he did reply.

  17. Ali says:

    Awesome video. Thank-you

  18. Lana says:

    Matt, you should do a video on how to respond to a guy that you are seeing, who accidentally send you a wwrong text which was obvious that it’s meant for another woman.
    Exp: I miss you too darling. But the conversation before was about dinner.

  19. Kelly says:

    Amazing, hilarious and brilliant! Thanks Matthew… you are s gem

  20. ling says:

    nohhhhhh

  21. A. says:

    Thanks for this. I’ve watched it several times. When I saw Granpa emoji I was stunned. What? But you knew how to get them back on track.

    Now I get it. Less is more.

  22. Michelle says:

    Omg Mathew! I have learned so much from all your emails/videos on how to deal with realationships and finding a “Quatity” man. Finally found one. (Thanks to you! ). I continue to enjoy your videos! So inspiring to women who have repeated bad relationships! Thank you for making me not deal with bad behavior men. Seriously appreciate your help. As a nurse I appreciate being told how I make an impact on someone’s live. And you are deserving of this message!

  23. Selene says:

    That was a great intro! I tought I click the wrong video for a moment… *Twilight Zone music*
    I will apply this!

  24. lynelle says:

    Ohmygawwwd, you are beyond hilarious. The Twilight Phone … where ARE all of my best emojis???? I cannot even describe how hard I’m laughing. Anddddd: This is SO GOOD. Just so good, so valuable.

    Good job, Matt, great work. :)

  25. Nathalie says:

    This video was **almost** perfect timing for me. I met someone a few weeks ago and started texting…daily…several times a day. Lots of flirty message. Sexual tension was DEFINITELY in full gear. We tried to get together on a mutual say off, but he got called into work. We had one more face to face visit (at his work) and we were supposed to get together the following Friday. He needed to get his parents to the airport that night, but said that wouldn’t take long…honestly though, never made “plans” to see me afterwards.
    Within a few days of starting our texting I explained that I prefer to talk than text. His reply was a preference to text…minor impasse but perhaps not a big deal once we had a real date.
    Thursday night, I pocket dialed at about 7:45. He didn’t reply until 10:30 that night. Here’s his message:
    “So I should let you know, I have a serious anxiety about phone calls. I don’t like them at all and it’s actually the hardest part of my job. Just thought I’d let you know”

    Wow! Serious vulnerability. I was as impressed as I was disappointed. The next day I replied:

    Thanks for letting me know. I’m kinda getting that. I can certainly relate. I have my own collection of near paralyzing fears.
    Last night’s call was an accident. I hit the call button when (my son and i) were singing lullabies.
    The challenge with texting, especially given our schedules, is that it’s nearly impossible to get to know someone through text. There’s rarely any content. We lose 80% of our communication. Either side can just disappear when you think your in a conversation. There’s an anonymity to texting that allows people to push boundaries they’d unlikely push in person or on a phone call. Texting is great for a quick hello, a flirt or confirming logistics, but to use it as communication to determine whether to invest your time and energy with someone…its really hard for me.
    Im not a “talk all night” kind of person. I enjoy my quiet times. However, there is something endearing, and peaceful about talking on the phone until you’re sleepy when you’re not yet ready to fall asleep in someone’s arms.
    Hopefully you’ll choose to trust me and find that I’m pretty easy to talk.
    Enjoy your day. I hope the month wraps up well for you.”

    I haven’t heard back. I’m giving some space. I actually need to go back to his workplace sometime next week. Not sure if I should stop by to say hello if he hasn’t responded.
    Matthew, I’d really appreciate some feedback

    • Zinnias says:

      Hey Nathalie !! I just wanted to mention I am the EXACT same way about phone calls (aside from basic plans /important ones) but I absolutely just can’t handle talking on the phone to chit chat and it makes no sense to me ! I think maybe I hate any type of awkward silence , or just something I can’t explain it at all’.

      But I wanted you to know that is so totally a real thing, it’s def cool that he straight up told you . I finally got to the point where I had to tell people also.

      Like I’ll talk on the phone I’m nkt like terrified , I just have this unexplainable loathing when it comes to talking o the phone . Maybe I feel like put on the spot (despite that not even being rational) but I just have no idea why . I wanted to just share this not sure how late my reply is but incase someone else ever comes across it .

      Good luck girlie.

  26. Savannah Sullivan says:

    Whenever I delay texting someone back, it’s either because I don’t have the time (or don’t want to make the time) to respond right then, or I have no desire to talk to this person… to which, if this had been me, I probably would’ve cut my losses.
    To be fair, I do know perfectly friendly people who do this. It’s a horrible habit that everyone around them is annoyed by. So maybe this guy just needed help understanding that he needs to get his act together.

  27. Mpumi says:

    Love it, thanks!

  28. Petra says:

    Great video!!!

  29. Natalie says:

    Perfect!
    Thank you!

  30. Heather says:

    This was great as always!
    Do you have any specific videos or guides on being a divorced parent and dating. There are definitely unique challenges when you are trying to split your evening between your children and texting a new romantic interest. I do online dating to meet men. And texting is a huge part of it. I have a hard time trying to figure out which guy is even worth my time especially through texting. They all present themselves so wonderfully and in such vague terms. And I always believe people are telling the truth until they prove me wrong. Do you have specific questions to text him to figure out more quickly if he is worth my time?

  31. Cici says:

    Am I the only one who relate more to the grandpa in this video? ;)

  32. Marissa says:

    Thank you, Matthew, for yet another incredibly fun and insightful video! This one hit home for me as I’m dealing with my own “grandpa-esque” texting situation right now — always a tricky nut to crack :) With your help I’m slowly getting better at dialing back my investment before it’s earned and playfully calling guys out on their screw-ups.

  33. Julie says:

    I’d love to hear more about dating as a single mom. I’m currently in this situation and I wonder if my criteria for choosing a partner should be different from someone who doesn’t want kids since it’s a very different situation.

    Love your blog and videos! They have helped me immensely recently and I feel more sure of what to look for and how to go about getting a partner.

  34. Jennifer says:

    Thank you Matthew, another great insight (with great humour)!
    I found this so helpful. Keep up the great work! Love your videos.

  35. May says:

    Hi Matthew, you just made my day! After a week of exams and too much time spent travelling, I finally come home and find my copy of Get the Guy in the mailbox and on top of that I get a new video from you.
    Thank you for your work, your inspiration and support regardless whether it´s about dating, telling me that going to a new danceclass, where I know no one, is not daunting at all, because I can always go home ( By the way, it turned out just fine and I´m going to go there again) or making a video, which I can listen to before an audition, so I´ll be in the right zone mentally.

    Thank you so much.
    May

  36. nabila says:

    hey matt, i haven’t watched your videos for a long time now, and this is really great one, i love how you explained, now i should memorise it :p, thank you and have a nice day.

  37. Shade says:

    BRILLIANT Matthew!!! Give me more! :)

  38. Fernanda says:

    Thank you Matt for the tip !!

  39. Chrissy says:

    Oh, I just LOVE the Twilight spoof!!!

  40. Laurie says:

    ALWAYS brilliant, Matthew! The advice already stands alone because it’s so great, but coupled with the creativity of how you delivered it makes this video not only educational, but entertaining!

    I love that you use a real life example and explain it step by step. This is such a common scenario, unfortunately, and I’m so glad you offer such sound, practical advice. You’re the best. I implement your techniques very often, and it works every time!!! Thank you :)

  41. Natalie says:

    Loved this twilight phone post. Funny and helpful! Thank you!!

  42. Donna says:

    Great tip. What to say if it’s basically the same scenario, cancels meeting up with excuses but will say ” talk later?” ( which he sometimes does and sometimes doesn’t ;/

  43. Laura says:

    Apologies if you’ve already made a video on this Matthew but I really need some good advice. I’m 21 and when i was 13 i met a guy in school. He was my best friend for years but even though we haven’t seen each other recently we still keep in contact on Facebook. I’m starting to look at him differently, I’m attracted to him but i don’t know how to approach this. How do i flirt with him without making him feel weird.

  44. Sarah says:

    …..And the best part! I am dating a grandpa and can not wait to use the grandpa emoji!
    But seriously, you always hit the nail on the head!
    Thanks Matt

  45. Maggie says:

    Hi, I love your work and that you are really helping us, lonely misguided souls :) but lately it got me thinking, that it is all a bit sad and random. The difference between meeting a guy and after a while never seeing him again, and meeting the same guy and ending up with him for life having great love, bunch of kids and whatever girl needs.. is in wording?? (like in “What to Say When He Pulls Away” video) I am a bit tired of all those games/tactics. How to keep him interested after first date, how to keep him after a month, after he finally sees me without makeup, after I have my PMS, after gaining 3 pounds.. just …I feel like being myself/free will never be enought… like I will never be able to say/show I miss you, I like you etc. because I might be looking to needy and attached.. Maybe I am not in the best place right now, but I just wish it would be easier…

    • Syd says:

      I know what you mean. I’m not in the best place right now and the best thing we can have is someone who doesn’t join us where we are. Someone strong who can be amused by the drama and will still be standing there when the storm finally passes.

  46. Sarah Vidler says:

    On no, I’ve already made quite a few of these mistakes with a current guy that I’m texting. Lets hope it’s not to late to rectify the situation.

    Thanks for the advice Matthew, spot on as always :D

  47. RobB says:

    This information has been invaluable as I navigate through dating.
    Thank you Matt

  48. Shenaz Sridhar says:

    ouch she sounds like me..btw this is a great tip.

  49. Julie MacKenzie says:

    Wonderful advice as usual! Look forward to every Sunday…. Have a great week! Hugs! Thanks Matthew…❤️

  50. Julie MacKenzie says:

    Great advice as usual! Love your videos Matthew! lol forward to every Sunday!! Hugs..Have a great week!

  51. Wendy says:

    P.S. Couldn’t help noticing how you’ve put so much creativity and work into this clever vid.

  52. Emily says:

    Thank you Matt! Another great video!

    Be extraordinary, Emily

  53. Vandita says:

    Wow! Thanks for this video! I am married and my “online” boyfriend is married too! He gets hot and cold and disappears all th time!!!! I am however crazy abt him! As toxic as he is,i cant get him out of my head!!

    • Nikki says:

      Hi.I couldn’t help but wanted to ask you, so you are a married person, but you also have someone else on the side? If yes, have you ever met or had physical contact with this ‘online’ boyfriend? I am very curious about your post, no judging though :)

  54. Farah Ernie Zulkifli says:

    Do men play hard to get too? or simply testing a girl by doing this “hot and cold” texting thing?

    How about if already a few months dating and he’s doing “hot and cold” texting? Is he confuse?or she’s in a “maybe” list?

    What does it mean when a guy said he’s confuse?

  55. Hilda says:

    What to do when he stops texting and calling because someone else tells him too.

    He is in and out over this other.

  56. Angie says:

    Great, great, GREAT video, Matthew! It is what I try to practice but it’s good to have a reminder once in a while that We Women have to let gyus do their work… Thank you, you are amazing

  57. Faizah says:

    Thank you Matt!! this is one of the most beneficial videos for me at the moment.

    Love you.

  58. Veena Rafi says:

    I truly believe that and kinda follow that too until I am carried away in emotion :)

  59. Elizabeth says:

    Matthew this is the best! I adore all your vids but please keep doing more real life examples like this. Thank you so so much.

  60. Ly says:

    But Matt, how long should she text back after he gives reasons?

  61. Wendy says:

    Good use of psychology, Matt….of which you’re often the master.

  62. Max Rose says:

    Wow…This all makes PERFECT SENSE…I wonder why so many of us (women) don’t naturally have this logic…

    No Worries!

    Thank God We Have Matthew!

  63. TCat says:

    The way you express yourself though… Just woke up to this & laughed so much! . I hope Syd (⬇) is being sarcastic – if not? NO HOPE!!! . Thanks Matt! Very informative & enjoyable once again.

    • Syd says:

      Nope not being sarcastic, the guy in question is adorable.

      Some women are insane. We are so desperate to lock it all down that we just don’t see the good in men. Guys are laid back and they really know how to enjoy the present. It’s not nice to use techniques to rush them or manipulate them into commitment. A guy will genuinely want you if you see the good in him. He’s not a creature to be trapped … genuinely enjoy the company of a man and just be authentic. Guys fall for me all the time. I don’t do anything special. In fact, I’m clueless about 99% of the time about romance… It just comes naturally when you love a person.

      Everyone is beautiful and perfect exactly as they are.

      i probably would have responded to his text that Tuesday was great to ask him cool! What hve you been upto today?
      But maybe I’m just a pushover or a people pleaser.

      • Syd says:

        I don’t care what Matthew Hussey or what any of you think. So there :P

        That being said, I do get taken advantage of for being nice to everyone so I will have to observe and then be nice to people.

        I’m not a people pleaser or a pushover. It pleases me to be nice.

  64. Syd says:

    MATTHEW THE GUY IN THEIR TEXT MESSAGES IS SO NICE!!! Stop messing with him the girl is so mean. Be patient

    Keep him on a ducking leash ladies! 48 hours… OMG HOW HORRIBLE

    :( I feel so bad for that guy. I wanna go out with him!

    • Syd says:

      Hopefully they had a good date… Because she hurt his feelings… and he was being cute and forgiving with the grandpa emoji.

    • Tamara says:

      Your response is the reason why this guy would have kept stringing her along… texting just enough to get what he wanted but never to have the girl feel as if she is truly wanted.

      Ladies… DO NOT let these guys string you a long anymore! Be confident, stand up for yourselves, and make him invest too!!

      • Syd says:

        When you can’t see the humor of what he does, when he is genuinely nice, and you can’t separate the good from the bad, then send me all your emojis ladies and give me their numbers too. Because I could use a guy with a sense of humor and a good heart.

        • Syd says:

          All these things teach women to be the “impossible bait” – I don’t want a guy who is only pursuing me because his ego is slightly bruised by the idea that he can’t have me.

          I live in a place where there’s nothing going on and I literally have zero plans but I may agree to a 30 min coffee with anyone but it would take someone with a good personality for me to commit to spending time around them.

          To the grandpa emoji, I would have laughed so hard and told him he is so funny!!! And then who knows maybe he would ask me out or maybe not. It’s totally up to him :)

          Get it ladies? It’s up to him.

          Me personally, I don’t like spending tons of time texting so I would probably express that and I don’t get trapped in texyy stuff past a point If it doesn’t involve actually meeting in person. We imagine a lot while texting. I’d rather see the person and be with their energy. you can’t have a relationship through a technological device in a way that is real. Start calling people.

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