He Doesn’t Value You? The ONLY Way He’ll Ever Change

Why do so many women allow guys to get away with treating them so carelessly??

Is it because she’s scared of losing him? Or she’s worried he’ll get annoyed if she’s too honest about her feelings?

If you’ve ever been one of those women who is always waiting for him to change his behavior, this video will transform your relationships with men forever…


►► Get 10 years of growth in just 5 days. Learn how >>> MatthewHusseyRetreat.com

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36 Responses to He Doesn’t Value You? The ONLY Way He’ll Ever Change

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  1. Mareicshka says:

    OMG I’ve been single for so long I have lowered my self worth.Three months ago I started seeing a guy I’ve known for six years (we used to work together). We had sex and nothing has changed in the three months. No real dates just movies at home. I bought ticket to a comedy show for saturday then he told me he had other plans so I exchanged the tickets for friday then he said he may not make it then either after he told me I should have bought the tickets for friday. WTF I feel so stupid for really liking this guy. Who doesn’t value me at all right now. Your are exactly right Matthew if this was happening to one of my friends I would have told her to let him go get out dueces to him. I am coming to the retreat. I will never feel like this again.

  2. angela eagle says:

    I’ve noticed all the couches in your videos are quite deep. Great for cuddling. I like them.

  3. yazmin says:

    Well, Matthew a loud shout out to you for your incredibly high EQ ! i really like your other stuff, but this video irked me a bit, nothing against you, you’re tryna help others with the basics & the incredible depths of impact basics can have on their lives, but there’s a chance of slipping up on the variety of target audience that might come across your material, not all take the same lesson in the same way, for instance, leave out the general masses who are generally enlightened by your way of percieving things, but what about the rare few who are already on the same plane as you, but possess a different set of setbacks, like my zodiac sign makes me prone to insecurities about self, rare though, more like an idiosyncracy example: now i was confident before i stumbled upon this video but now that u have broken down in a systematic way, the mechanism of trusting instincts, i found myself second guessing them while texting afyer having seen this video. I don’t know if it was deliberate or not but it does push people to enroll for the retreat program of yours, no issues even if it were deliberate cause end of the day, or should i say 5 days, the program is gonna benefit the people u may justifiably think but what about ppl like us who have no access to it whatsoever? A big hi from India :p for all i know, if you’re like me, you won’t even check the comment sections just so you can avoid negativity if any!

  4. asma says:

    I think I should leave him give myself a space to get myself back, if he would look for me what sould I do ?

  5. Pat says:

    This was almost too painful to listen to. Every other video I have taken notes and been diligent in approaching it as a study – as I would a new language or when I got my advanced credentials to teach yoga. But this hit the nail on the head so hard. Matthew is thoughtful, kind, wise and witty, brutally honest (thank god) and on-point. I’m not sure I ever could recover from the heartbreak I am in without his guidance. I have been utterly devastated….walking my neighborhood at night sobbing, pulling my hair out and swallowing my screams, then vomiting up the poison of my despair, but he is guiding me to see things from a bigger perspective. My lover has broken me – body, mind and spirit. But now I see where I went “wrong” and where I lost him. My neediness, my insecurity, even when there were red flags and when I made excuses for his behavior…had I set standards from the beginning, valued myself more…then I truly believe things would be different now. I am enviously “successful”, I am model “gorgeous”, and I am utterly bewildered by my ineptitude with Men. Matthew is saving my life, saving me from “avidya” – not stupidity, but a lack of knowledge. No one else taught me this, not even my own mother. Thank you Matthew for handing me a road map when I am so lost. Thank you for saving my heart, maybe my life.

  6. Lorraine says:

    I feel I would truly benefit from the Retreat, I have found myself in the same situation as in previous relationships…. giving my best to be Ghosted yet AGAIN! I truly believed this time things would be different. I’ve come to the same conculsion, that the only thing that is consistant in my failing relationships is ME this cycle has to end.

    PLEASE can you hold a Retreat in England

  7. Sherrie says:

    I dated a guy for 3 months and I always had to initiate conversation with him via texting. He wouldn’t call unless I asked him to, he wouldn’t text me even if only to ask if my week was going well. We were intimate after the 3rd date and we enjoyed that very much. I have no regrets about that. I started to feel bad after awhile, I was no longer waking up happy when I thought of him. I began to feel apprehensive about seeing him. So I decided that the best thing to do was to lose him. This would give me a chance to venture out and find someone that would value me more than what I was getting. I am dating again and even tho’ it hurt me to let him go, I knew in my heart it was the right thing for me to do.

  8. Guilt-ridden says:

    Could you do a video on what to do if your questioning whether or not to continue to be in a long-term serious relationship? I know it’s an issue for a lot of women because there are whole forums of girls asking what t they should do if their boyfriends are super sweet and treat them really well but after 2 to 3 years they’re just not attracted to them anymore. I personally don’t want to crush him, because we’ve built our lives around each other and I do love him, and his family. It’s just that there’s no fire and if I’m honest there never has been. He was just so easy to date. But I feel like I can’t break up with him because he’s perfect and I don’t want to be constantly dissatisfied and turn into some pathological serial dater.

  9. Alicia says:

    This is an excellent video and I think you’re absolutely right about why we often accept low standards of behaviour from men. But to me you omitted a key aspect: if you’re not happy with the way you’re being treated, then in order to leave you have to be courageous enough, strong enough, secure enough to risk never ever finding another man who treats you better, and therefore being alone the rest of your life. I believe that is why most women stay, because they perceive the risk as too great. And that assessment is completely understandable. I’m in a happy relationship, but struggled for years to really connect with a decent guy who I’m attracted to and who values being in a relationship. Over half my uni friends (40+) are still single. We can all trot out horrendous dating stories if pressed and we’ve lost count of the number of men who are only in the “dating game” for what they could get for themselves short term. In short, it’s actually not crazy to conclude that there are very few great guys out there, particularly from your thirties onwards. So yes women who accept sub-optimal treatment (I’m not referring to abuse here) may not believe they “deserve” any better, but they may (very rationally) have just decided that the real risk of ending up alone, coupled with the relatively small chance of finding someone better, outweigh the benefits of leaving. Personally, I’d take the chance of being alone (I have before) but I completely understand why some would not and while yes, it’s all about fear, it’s not purely about what women believe they deserve. It’s about what they perceive to be available. Different.

    • Kathryn says:

      You write about not having a relationship with a man as being alone and being single. They are two very different things. Being alone has such negative connotations of feeling lonely, disconnected, isolated. Whereas being single is not being married or in a long term committed relationship. Sometimes, being alone is a very positive way to be. If you have a career, passions, travel, learning, ambitions you want to see succeed, this might actually take up all your time and energy. Things you could not achieve if you were having to dilute yourself and give time and attention to a relationship. This is where meaningful friends come in to feel connected, not alone.
      There are lots of great men around even when we are older. The problem with men is like children. They will behave badly if you let them and sometimes it’s just easier or a habit to be that way. I think the real courage for a woman is to be frank with a man. To say things or be a way that insists on good behaviour without fearing he will run away. Most of the time if he really and genuinely wants to be invested in you as a couple he will go away and think about it. He will want to step up and he is doesn’t, well?!!
      These are my opinions and I’m amazed constantly by how many lovely women and friends of mine are ‘on their own’. It’s not easy by any means. But if you look at the women with the best men, the best relationships I don’t think for one minute they ever undersell themselves or believe for one minute they should be less than very happy and contented with their man.

      • Alicia says:

        Thanks Kathryn for your lovely & positive reply. You’re right – in my comment I did choose the word “alone” a lot! I was perhaps being a bit dramatic(!) – partly to underscore the choice that I believe a lot of women feel faced with. But you are 100% right that “single” does not have to mean “lonely”.

        And yes – the real courage for a woman is to be frank with a man – totally. I shake my head thinking back to how reticent I used to be about stating what’s right and wrong for me. I almost feel like growing up in the 90s my peers and I acquired the belief that we didn’t have any right or power to call something “right” or “wrong” – we had to be cool with everything, no matter the knots it required us to tie ourselves into.

        I’ve come to believe that romance is like every other part of life. Focusing too much on the outcome only causes suffering on the journey. You have to focus on the practice, on showing up every day, loving yourself, those around you and life itself. Because those are the fundamentals of happiness whether you’re in a relationship or out.

        If I could go back 10 years I’d be much warier of online dating because although it works for some, it can be a seductive “quick fix” and a massive distraction from the inner work that may need to be done.

        I do stand by my point that many women who put up with sub-optimal treatment may in fact believe they deserve something better. However, they weigh up the pros and cons and make a calculated decision to stick with what they have, because they see little to no evidence that “better” exists. That’s just pragmatism and no-one should judge it.

        I liked Matthew’s video, but in my opinion he should have pointed out that a woman will never be fully effective in setting and enforcing standards for men’s treatment of her, unless she has fully accepted the risk of being single for the rest of her life.

        IF you can’t accept the risk of being single, how will you ever be able to walk away every time you should?

  10. Anne says:

    Hey will you ever be doing a retreat in the UK or middle east?

  11. Rebecca S says:

    Great vid! Couldn’t of come at more perfect time… wise words of wisdom (Not that im unfamiliar with those wise words…. but you’ve definitely got a way of putting s*@t into prospective! So thank you :D

  12. Martina says:

    Great video….this video made me cried.. because it touched something deep in me.. and I realized I really need retreat

  13. Iliana says:

    Thank you Matthew for this video. You have used the perfect words, in the perfect sequential order, with perfect logic to describe the domestically abusive relationship my sister has been in since 2011. No matter how much I say to her what you have said in your video, it is simply not registering in her mind. I am going to forward this video to her in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, your words will have some type of effect.

    Here is to hope,
    Iliana

  14. Kangkana Roy says:

    Dear Matthew, this video was almost like a God-sent gift to me. Words are not enough to thank you but let me say nonetheless. THANK YOU SO MUCH. You are doing a great work. Keep it up.

    -Love,
    Kangkana.

  15. yanne says:

    Thank you Matt for your video, it was really helpful, especially because it is not possible to me to travel from Brazil to go to your retreat. Your words are powerful, congratulations!

  16. Marise says:

    OH Matthew this Retreat sounds amazing! This is something I am sure every woman wants to go to. I want it to. I want that live. You must have the greatest life knowing all these things the secret to Core Confidence. What is the price please tell me?

  17. Desiree Bonton says:

    I’m 51 with same cheating man for 6 yrs. now that I’m tired of the relationship he wants to get married. Tired of the dating, getting to know you scene as well. I don’t have the funds to keep paying everyone who seems to have the right solution.

  18. CC says:

    I’d love to comment. I always learn so much. But for some reason the videos are not working for the last couple weeks. Nothing has changed on my end. I also tried viewing them directly on YouTube and they don’t work either. Either there is video but no audio or just now when I hit the play arrow I lost video. The screen went light grey and a timing circle just went round and round with no other result. No video. No audio.

  19. Mage says:

    Thaks for everything, it’s all that i can say.

  20. CR says:

    Hello, Matt,
    I just break down in tears because you just described my parent`s marriage. My mother had spent more than 30 years of her life living with person who did not value her as she is. I`ve witnessed how she is being trying so hard to get my
    dad´s attention and begging for love but he did not seem to care because of his indifference and sometimes rejection. And the worst thing is that we used to think that it was because of his personality … for years!!!
    Thanks God, now she opened her eyes and decided that she does not want to keep living like that anymore and she already asked him to leave.
    I am 31, and it is scary to think that your mother was so mistreated psychologically to the point that when I was a child she took lots of anti-depressant medication, she was angry with us at times and we did not understand why?… I love my dad but I would never want someone like him for husband.. I pray that someday she finds someone that gaves her that love that she never had.. Thank you for helping us to open our eyes on time. Blessings from Costa Rica.

  21. Jen says:

    Good partners would never regularly treat someone badly like that though. It’s not as much about someone’s self worth — it’s about not being able to believe/comprehend that someone else who sometimes acts so loving could also be so callous and narcissistic because you yourself and probably most of your friends and family are not that way. Thanks though. Advice still applies, even though some partners will never learn or modify no matter how perfectly you apply this advice — they’ll just find someone else easier to exploit.

  22. Candy kaiser says:

    Hi Matt,
    Candy from Omaha here.
    Thank you for reminding me why I’m going to the retreat!!
    I just returned from holiday at Punta Cana where I, of course, met someone. From London. What is it about you Brits?????? Anyway, I let him know what my standards are and he stayed beside me the whole week. So I’m thinking maybe I can do this thing. Wrong!!! not yet. Maybe after the retreat. My mind is already starting to go to ‘crazy candy land’ I call it.
    Thank you, thank you, thank you.
    Love you!!
    Candy

  23. Esmeralda says:

    Hmmm.

    It’s not easy to leave when you have kids. The economics is tough. Finding a job, finding a place to live, having funds to make that move when he controls the bank account.

    I should have left 10 yrs earlier than I did, at least to get his attention, and make him improve. But I had nowhere to go.

    If I addressed the bad behavior with him, it would not have mattered. If I told that I would leave if it did not improve, there was a fear of retribution. He did things such as taking the caller ID box, saying that it was too expensive to pay the charge for it. But he did not call the phone company and tell them. So it was not about the money. I eventually found it and put it back. He took it again when I was not home. What could I do? I took the remote control and told him that when I get the caller id box back he could have the remote control. He said he would buy another one. I said, I will take that too. He would not return the caller id and did without the remote control.
    When his brother and his family came to visit, his brother was looking for the remote control. I told the story of the what happened in front of my husband. The next morning the caller id box was at my place at the dinner table, with leaf mold on it. Why did it have to take an outside person to make him see reason.

    I finally decided to divorce. He was very angry when he got the papers in the mail. HIs view was that our home was HIS not mine. I should just walk out.

  24. Vivien says:

    This was God-sent. I am in the exact place that Mathew describes. My self-worth is gone, my confidence is gone, my “partner” is seeing another woman, but I still love him with all of my heart and soul. Paralyzed and unable to move forward and let go, I pray that MatthewHusseyRetreat.com will show me the way. I totally packed up my life in Africa, sold my house and came to USA to be with this man. He bought us a beautiful home, where all my possessions are. But I have been locked out since February. Only allowed back for my doctor appointments. He calls me, particularly for sex, and so far has taken care of me,
    but where to what next. I have cried every day for 9 months. Yet, on my own turf I am a strong leader. Fear of abandonment has hit me on the head.I am a young 69 – about to turn 70 – what hope of finding another man now?

  25. Amy says:

    This is on point! It was my situation exactly and after going to the retreat this past August, I can now move forward in creating the relationship that I want. Please go, ladies!!!! It was truly life changing for me!

  26. Kay says:

    Ah great video! Now the question is: although we can find our value and self worth, show someone new with how we perceive ourselves etc, “is it possible to REGAIN our value and self worth to anyone that has ALREADY viewed us as ‘low value'”??? If so, where would you suggest to begin on showing your new value? I know that watching your videos you’d emphasize making a new life as a women of high value. But how would you recondition their mentality?

    • Zari says:

      Hi Kay, that’s such a great question! I find myself wondering the same thing. Is there ever a going back and re-starting a relationship on the right foot?

      I suppose it’s possible if there are mutual friends between you and the person you’re with. But in my opinion there needs to have been a significant amount of time that has passed where he hasn’t seen you or heard from you in order for his interest to be piqued about what you may have been upto and how you’ve grown. And not just faking our growth but really working at developing ourselves and staying focused on achieving personal goals.

      If he doesn’t notice at first, your mutual friends will and the kind of attention and energy you get will make him want to be around you more.

      I look forward to hearing others’ thoughts on this. Oh and thank you Matt!
      Those who struggle, you’re normal. I’m rooting for your success!

  27. Anuta says:

    Thank you, Matthew! !
    It is true that having low self worth might take years to overcome. And somehow different partners end up treating you the same way. We need action :)
    Thank you

  28. Julie MacKenzie says:

    I loved this video…Again….you “hit the nail on the head”…Not only pertaining to one’s love life…but, to any situation….even a work situation…You Rock Matthew! Hugs! Keep the videos coming! I look forward to them every week…;) <3

  29. Jgirl says:

    I’m absolutely fantastic at mental gymnastics! Compassion at a level they don’t understand.

  30. Neethu says:

    Dear friend :)

    I am so glad that I saw this video at the right time.
    I actually left the person and told him I just don’t want to continue being treated casually and I won’t tolerate it anymore

    I was even rethinking if I was taking a wrong step by being so bold :D
    Thanyou so much dear for letting me know through this video that I was actually right and there’s no need to go back and stay unless I feel he values me for what I am

    Just can’t say how relieved i feel now that I got to see this video at the perfect time

    Love you and keep enlighting Others! :)

  31. Barbara says:

    I havebeen watch most of the video that you and or your team sent and I would just like to be a part of it all thank you BarbJLaw

  32. Ashley says:

    Thank you so very much for the insight you’ve been sharing. I want you to know that you have helped me tremendously through following you over some months. You have such great advise. It seems that you have not just watched, but analyzed numerous relationships, emotions, and reactions. I had previously visited a counselor, but it seemed that I didn’t get any direction on specific actions or ways I came across. Your videos are encouraging. I know for sure that you have helped me see a situation quite a bit clearer many times; not just recognize it, but have the confidence to act. Continue what you’re doing because your advise is such a blessing to so many people.

  33. Marina says:

    Wow that retreat sounds absolutely amazing Matthew I wish I had the money to do it. It sounds like just what I need, great video and truer words could not be said. much love and thank you for being a stand for women to be their best version of themselves, you are such a wise mature and kind soul. Thank you :)

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