Falling in “like” with someone can happen in a flash.
And while liking someone is an electric feeling that signals the potential for something exciting… it can also trick us into looking past bad behaviors that we wouldn’t normally tolerate…
In the video below, I explain WHY we sometimes let red flags slide and the simple mindset shift that will help protect your heart while you’re looking for your ultimate partner.
What’s Your #1 Non-Negotiable in a Relationship?
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Do you crave a deep, lasting commitment, but wonder if what you have with him will ever progress into something REAL?
OK, then this video is for you…
PLUS: Stay until the end of the video to get the EXACT script you can use with him TODAY to end the casual phase for good and get the commitment you want.
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Do you ever worry that the chemistry will fizzle in your relationship? Or does it seem as though the butterflies have already flown away?
Don’t worry. This video contains a game plan to save you.
What Gives You Butterflies for Him?
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Angel:
So my name is Angel and I’ve been watching you. You’re my go-to YouTube videos every time I have a heartbreak or something happen.
Matthew:
I’d love to come to you in some happier times.
Angel:
It is a happier time now. So actually it’s a flip question now. So because of your videos, most especially the ones wherein you have to cross out all the… Where you literally did the ex removal, the wrong person just to find the right guy.
Matthew:
So as soon as you meet a guy and he’s not giving you what you want, he’s showing you that he’s low investment, he’s flaky, he comes in and out of your life, you get rid of him.
Angel:
Because of that, I was able to find a relationship. I’m in a relationship right now, actually with an English guy, as well, who looks like Jameson, I realized. So there’s that.
Matthew:
Very good, well done.
Angel:
So he’s very supportive. He really invests. If we fight, we talk about it. But before all of that I was really into unrequited love and short-term relationships, and always from these relationships, I elicit feelings of like butterflies and all, for a short term of time. But then with this boyfriend, I was in that moment but we’re more than a year already. But I get the feeling and I’m afraid that it might have dwindled a little, the butterflies and everything.
Matthew:
For you or for him?
Angel:
For me to him.
Matthew:
Okay.
Angel:
But he really puts me on a pedestal, which is great. But that’s the thing. Is it because I’m not so used to being in a long-term relationship, that’s why I feel that way?
Matthew:
Okay. This is a great question.
Angel:
Thank you.
Matthew:
Look, firstly the level of butterflies you have over the course of a relationship may fluctuate. What you don’t want is a situation where it’s just a downward trend. It might be there’s a month where you’re busy, you’re stressed, something’s going on and there’s something that gets in the way of the two of you having the same desire. Whatever, those things happen. Especially over a course of many years or decades. But you don’t want a situation where the two of you just give in to this decline in desire over your relationship. That I don’t buy. So what you have to do is be fairly self-aware and say, “What is it about previous situations or maybe even about the beginning of this relationship, that did create butterflies for me?” What was that? Because that may have felt like an accident, but there’s a formula for creating desire.
Sometimes for example, we go to a party with our significant other and we just watch them talk to a group of people, and for that moment we’re not standing next to them together with them. We’re able to observe and the observation of our partner working a room and just being charming on their own, separate from us, can be very sexy, can’t it? Is everyone following me? Can’t that be a sexy moment when we see our partner from afar and not from up close? You go, “Oh wow, he’s a sexy guy.” You know what I mean?
Angel:
Yes.
Matthew:
It’s like seeing your partner perform or do something or give a speech. It’s like, “Oh look, they’re a person. They’re not just mine. They’re a person.” And when I see them as an individual again, I’m made more aware of the space that actually exists between us. Desire exists in space.
So what many of us do is we have desire for someone. We then close down all of the space until there’s no longer any space and now the fire of desire cannot breathe anymore. It needs oxygen. And we wonder why…. where’d the butterflies go? They need space to breathe.
So I would be looking at what were the circumstances under which those butterflies existed before? What were the moments where you watched him separate from you and said, “That is an attractive man.” And how could I recreate some of those moments? And how could I educate him on how to recreate some of those moments? Because sometimes we want our partners to be mind readers about everything… “I want to have butterflies again and you’re supposed to just know how to do that.”
And any time you get a clue, because you may not even know everything consciously, but anytime you get a clue – “Ah, that gives me that feeling” – note that down. What was it about that? Okay. Let me now create more of that. Let me talk to him about that. “I really liked when you did this. That really turned me on when you did that” – and by the way, use the right language too. If you say, “It was nice when you did that,” all right, but if you say, “That turned me on when you did that”…. I had someone say to me, “It turns me on that you’re expressive in your texts. It’s so hot.” Which by the way, you wouldn’t normally… I wouldn’t normally think this is a turn on, but this person said, “It’s such a turn on that you’re really expressive in your texts.” Well as a man, when you hear that, you go, “I’m going to be expressive in every single text I send now.”
If someone said, “I think it’s really nice that you are expressive”… eh. “It’s turn on.” “It’s hot.” You use desire language. Now you’re creating something I want to do more of because guess what? He wants to turn you on. He wants to know how to do that in a better way. He wants clues. You don’t have to make him feel small by telling him. It doesn’t have to be an education. It could just be you constantly letting him know the things that work for you, and he’ll learn that roadmap, learn more of that roadmap, learn more of that roadmap, and all of a sudden he has this whole formula for how to get you. But you have to help him with that. Make sense?
Angel:
Makes sense a lot.
Matthew:
All right. Thank you so much.
Angel:
Thank you, Matthew.
Matthew:
Let’s keep going. Let’s have a couple more [questions].
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If you’re feeling the pain of heartbreak right now, this week’s video will put you on the path of recovery. There’s a high chance you’ll instantly feel a little better after watching it.
What’s One Way You Choose to Be Brave Through Heartbreak?
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It’s hard to find love when you don’t feel loveable yourself.
In this video, I want to share a small thing you can start doing today to get back your self-esteem and begin to reclaim your core confidence…
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If you find yourself constantly thinking about how to invite someone back into your life… Or if you have an old flame who keeps coming in and out of your life…
Please… watch this before you do anything else.
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I bet you’ve never thought about relationships the way I’m about to show you.
The secret I give in this video isn’t one you’ll find in every book out there…
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What are the “Trash Cans” you want in your dream relationship? The day-to-day details and acts of support?
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Dating in 2019 can feel like a chore…if you do it wrong.
People are cynical about relationships, frustrated with online dating, and the antipathy between men and women seems to have grown over the last decade.
But that’s only because we tend to hear the loudest voices. Many of which are negative, angry or frustrated.
The truth is, if you approach your love life with
the right mindset, it doesn’t need to
feel like work, nor should it make you feel despair.
That’s right. Going out, dating, finding a
meaningful connection – this can be a rewarding part of your life, regardless
of whether or not you’re currently looking for a committed relationship.
So if you need a refresh for your brain right now, here are 10 mindsets that will make dating feel easier:
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Is there someone in your life who keeps going hot and cold with the attention they are showing you?
In today’s video, I give you an exact message you can text a guy that demonstrates your powerful standards in a way that simultaneously gets you more attraction and more investment…
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You may have been taught that when the right person shows up, you’ll just know it.
But then how do we find ourselves in situations in life where we fall really hard for the wrong people – people who hurt us, people who are toxic, people who don’t love us back? And what does this say about the dangers of “love at first sight”?
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