We’ve all been told the important stuff that helps a relationship work in the long-run:
Clear and compassionate communication
But there are also other little skills that make a big difference.
Things that our partner may not even be able to vocalize, but that deep down in their subconscious they are eternally grateful for and that keep the relationship working and make us No.1 in their books.
Cultivate these skills and your name will be on its way to becoming an ill-judged impulsive tattoo on someone’s bicep in no time:
People like to tell us that one state is desirable over another. And yet, 10 years of working with people in their relationships has taught me that it’s possible to feel wildly fulfilled or totally miserable in just about ANY state between flying solo and a committed relationship.
But that’s not what we’re told.
The cultural story tells us: “Your life will finally make total sense when you meet the right person.”
Actually, it’s even worse than that. It says:
“Get a relationship, or else your life won’t have meaning.”
This is why being single can be extra tricky, especially for women, who face far greater pressure to prove their worth by “locking down” a steady relationship by age 30ish.
The cultural narrative tells us that all roads must eventually lead to a relationship, rendering singledom as a kind of purgatory abound with lonely humanoid atoms, hovering past one another until they finally get paired up and can live the rest of their lives in blissful duality.
Well, fuck that.
I don’t have a dog in this fight. Being in a relationship can be incredible. But being single is also AMAZING and gets taken for granted way more often.
But to do single right, you need to avoid the traps that lead to dating burnout, bitterness, or a feeling like you’re waiting for connection to come and finally give your life purpose.
Your friend has great stories and witty one-liners, but you also have a smartphone.
It’s a constant battle to resist pulling up social media accounts and checking halfway through your coffee to absorb all of their colourful temptation, dropping your head and parsing through profiles like a catatonic scrolling zombie.
Maybe you’ve noticed yourself doing this but, hey, you’re getting away with it! No-one has complained yet, right?
Except, there are complaints. We just don’t hear them.
Most people find it too awkward to pull us up on our annoying habits. They choose to avoid the ugly confrontation which requires them to say, “hey, can you put that away and talk to me while we eat?”. Or they feel worried we’ll snap at them if they do bring up our zoning out in the middle of meals to swipe through a dating app.
Instead, we’ll just stop getting asked out for lunch, and soon enough, drop off their diary entirely as they decide to ditch us for better company.
But, aside from checking our phone less, what are other ways to be better in conversation?
Important Note: While I do believe – and have seen proof – that the advice and programs I provide can help you improve your love life , please understand that not everyone will experience the exact same results. To get the best results, you must use the advice I give you. Every person is an individual and every situation is unique so no single piece of advice will work for everyone at every time.
But I can tell you that if you read the advice and continually apply it in your life, your chances of success increase dramatically.
And I’m here to help you every step of the way. Let’s get started!