My Brother is Spilling All My Secrets

I can’t believe my brother did this…

While it’s a bit embarrassing for me to reveal so much about my behind-the-scenes work, I’m genuinely happy that Stephen pushed me to give this to you because I know it will make a huge impact on your life.

Click here for the download page >>

 

 

 

 

 

 

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

216 Responses to My Brother is Spilling All My Secrets

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  1. Bea Herwin says:

    Brothers can be such a pain, however this one I approve of! Stephen, have you ever considered the amazing results that could be gained by targeting middle aged women whose lives are being turned upside down by their children leaving, bodies changing and all the things they were previously validated by disappearing? Your retreats would be amazing for that. But in England. I can appreciate that Paris is beautiful, San Diego is incredible, but I need this here in England, please! Let me know your thoughts, and maybe what alternative products would suit these needs. Thank you for your help and this article, you are my favourite Hussey x

  2. Meena says:

    Hi Stephen,
    Your guide was very informative. I have learnt that Matt has indeed put a lot of hard work into being the charismatic, funny and charming man he is today. It has shown that his responses and overall behaviour is not natural but makes me think that he is an actor and a salesman (I kind of knew this already). It’s all based on skill, techniques and preparation. It’s almost made me a little sad actually, knowing that Matt rehearses such stories right down to the very word. If we are, at all, to be anything like him then we too will need to be spending our whole lives studying human behaviour to the very core and what makes people ‘tick’. As well as rehearsing how to behave perfectly in any given social situation. It will take years of practice which is unrealistic. Sorry to sound so pessamistic but it’s how I feel. He is good at what he does though :)

  3. Jessica says:

    It’s not hard to tell where Matthew gets his voice or story telling skills from! I guess this could also show the importance of taking advantage of positive influences in your life. Emulating qualities in other people that you admire can help you become the person you want to be.

  4. lakshmishree says:

    steven ,
    this post couldnt have come at a better time as i have a very important presentation ( architectural thesis) coming up in a few days and i hadnt even thought about the fact that i should be preparely elaborately for it , play by play. but after this post i will definitely prepare better for it . i hope you and matt can put out more material on getting through interviews as well as social gatherings where there are a lot of people you dont know well enough and you feel intimidated by . i know the content youve already put can be applicable to differnet types of situations but a more specific approach would be very helpful and easier to adopt!
    kisses
    lakshmi
    big fan following all the way from india ( i wish i could attend the live seminar :( . maybe one day )

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Thank you Lakshmi – I prepare for interviews and presentations play-by-play and for me it works wonders – do it! :)

      Kisses back,

      Stephen

  5. lakshmishree says:

    matt you are absolutely amazing and selfless that your giving away your secrets even though you feel a little shy about it! but it is so helpful , you have no idea, so i thank you but mostly your brother for nudging ( forcing ) you into putting this stuff out there for people to know. it really makes you see things in a different perspective and celebrities dont seem so out of this world anymore!

  6. Catherine says:

    Hi Matt/Steve
    Im sure im doing something wrong on dates or when I meet men.
    The last two dates I’ve been on have been less than memorable. The first guy asked me out for a Saturday lunch date then showed up with no plan and no idea what to do. I had to suggest everything. Can’t say I really enjoyed myself.
    Im still not sure on the who pays for what. Never really had a guy take me out and pay so never know how to react. when the bill came. We ended up going dutch.
    Hes really into me so he says and wants to see me again but I can’t stand the thought of showing up again and him saying again. We can do whatever you want. I want a guy who asks me out to at least have a plan and not judt offer to follow me around for the day while I go about my weekend routine.

    The second guy I went out with tonight. He was introduced to me via my friends friend. He text me and asked me to have dinner. Admittedly I was a bit sceptical as he text me in pigeon English and text speak but I went anyway.
    He basically had nothing to say expert to ask me how long id been in the UK. Fortunately my friend and his mate were there too.
    When the bill came both guys just sat there and my friends mate insinuated we pay for them. They weren’t impressed when we only paid our share.

    This happens a lot to me.
    Am I just dating dushbags or do you think I’m doing something wrong to make the men think differently.
    Any suggestions.
    X
    Thanks
    Cat

  7. Jen says:

    I’m a regular follower of this blog and this is my first time commenting. I keep coming back because much of your advice on love can be applied to my social life and career. I’m always looking to improve those aspects of my life so I hope there is more to come!

    This breakdown is exactly what I needed at the moment. I’ve always been interested in this topic but no one breaks it down quite as simply and honestly as you do. To know that Matt worked so hard to get to where he is inspires and pushes me to do the same.

    Matt, that was very brave of you. And Steve, Matt is very lucky to have you as his brother.

    All the best!

  8. Lina says:

    Hi Matt and Stephen-

    Matt- I have been watching your videos a lot lately and I find you brilliant, inspirational and you have some valid advice. I was wondering if you or Stephen can help me with my issue specifically. I know this will make me sound incredibly insecure- and I cringe at your reaction. But maybe you can give me some advice… some pointer that will allow me to finally tap into that part of myself and turn off the fear. I am 36 years old and compared to what is acceptable in today’s society, my dating history is rather sparse- though I have dated, I haven’t been in anything resembling a relationship for 12 years…and i don’t believe in flings.
    I want to preface this by saying that I do not think I am unattractive- once people get to know me they see me as someone cute, funny, playful and vibrant- I know I appear to the best advantage when I am “myself” but that is not my dilemma here..I’m working on that… My dilemma is this…
    Matt always talks about giving guys encouragement- eye contact- letting a guy know that I have noticed him. This is a huge fear for me. When I see a guy I am attracted too, my defense mechanism takes over- I become deer-in-the headlights rigid and do everything in my power to NOT let him know that he is on my radar. It is like I am still that 16 year old girl that feels that if a guy thinks I noticed him he will get cocky and laugh in my face. I know I am a fully grown, attractive woman and these are mature, adult men. The logical part of me understands this, but my body refuses to get past the flight response…any advice? Thank you in advance!

  9. ASPA says:

    driver=guide .my english isnt so good !i hope that you will read it and understabd !kisses

  10. ASPA says:

    hello boys! The driver was very helpful as all the articles that raise.In my opinion matt not exposed because in the words of Cavafy: Importance is the journey and not the destination! Matt has taken a big trip of knowledge and experience and this is why Matt became a genious .The destinations,the things that Matt discover, are simpy tools for us! PS: I desperately want to attend one of the live events…… What would you say…. if you did an event under the hot sun…, the sand…, next to the beautiful BLUE sea… over OYZO and dancing; I speak about GREECE !

  11. Marta says:

    Stephen,
    thank you sooooo much for writing this analysis & most importantly for putting the positive pressure on Matt to keep breaking through all layers of shell we a lll have. I am sure it feels so liberating for Matt.
    Matt, I am not surprised at all that your charisma (or anybody else’s) is a product of hard work. This is obvious. It doesn’t put a dent on your reputation at all, it adds. Somebody wise said that once we speak the deepest truth without worrying how it will make us look like, suddenly it becomes universal & has the greatest appeal.
    Please continue to be the part of revolution of being honest, raw, uncensored. Nothing that’s human is alien to humans.

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      We’re always trying to get more raw and honest, and Matt has always pushed the boundaries of his content further than I ever imagined (especially on his live seminars and retreats). Hope we can bring you more through the blog Marta.

      Thanks!

      Steve

  12. Josephine says:

    Hello , I am very eager to download this page but I am just wondering
    Does this download cost anything?

    / Josephine

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Do you mean the Guide? It’s completely free! Go for it!

      Steve x

      • Josephine says:

        This guide opened my eyes in so many ways . The thing that suprised me the most when I read this guide is that I use majority of theese tecniques without even know that I use them. To see theese social “skills” on paper made me awared of exactly what I am doing in my daily life all the time .
        Now when read details and even further evolved thoughts about this tecniques I am looking forward to put theese tecniques to practise and start to make them better than it has ever been.

        I
        Thank you Steven and Matthew.

        This was fenomenal .

        / Josephine

  13. Tricia says:

    Hi Matthew,
    This is very good. Your brother’s guide is very good.
    Thank you both.

  14. Jessie says:

    Read the guide, thank you so much Stephan for getting Matthew to share this with us! The thoughts leading up to it were hilarious, I actually laughed out loud, Neo??

    Matt thank you so much for letting Stephan share this with us, you’re amazing. Both of you :)

  15. Anita says:

    Bonsoir Hussey’s Team!
    You are most welcome to France. I live in Paris, known as the most romantic town in the world <3
    We have " Le Moulin Rouge";" Des Croissants"; " Du Champagne";"Du bon vin", "Le château de Versailles" and of course " la Baguette" :)

    It is perfect exotic place for an event, isn't it Stephen? ;)

    And Please Matthew, you should listen to Stephen, he is genius too!

    Bisous
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKtqaJTR6Qo

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      I’ll take any excuse to go back to Paris. Believe me, you don’t have to sell it to me, I love it.

      But yes, agreed. Perfect place for a GTG event. Also, me and Matt didn’t get to see the Musée d’Orsay last time so we decided a return visit was in order.

      À bientôt. Bisous.

      Stephen x

      • Anita says:

        “Vous êtes les bienvenus” !

        I will make sure you guys,get to see “Musée D’orsay”,and have at least once, home made authentic french food with perfect wine combination! Don’t worry Matt, no bad smelling cheese for you! haha ;)

        Stephen now it’s a double excuse :)

        A très bientôt!

  16. Lalenthra says:

    Hussey Bromance, when’s the visit to Beautiful South Africa planned for?

    amazing food, magical sunsets & memories to last a life time :)

  17. Anita says:

    Hi Stephen,

    “Your not the coach, but the coach’s brother”! Doesn’t matter, it’s the same DNA ;)
    By the way, your articles are really great, funny, and useful.

    Keep it up!
    Warm regards
    Anita

  18. Anita says:

    Hi Matt, I sent you a mail with marketing tips and secret for your new concept ;) Did you get the time to go through it?

    Kindly let me know if that helped you and your team.

    Warm regards,
    Anita

  19. Emily says:

    Please read this Matt.

    Your video gives me hope.

    I know you feel vulnerable exposing yourself so much. But this video is “brainal” all over. Please remember that people that pay attention to you are people that wish to learn, and in a lot of ways, WE SEE OURSELVES IN YOU right this moment, the you that is almost entirely self-made. The you that is impressive not because you are born with charm, but because you worked hard to finally achieve it.

    I’m also not as naturally charismatic as a lot of people, and I feel self conscious about it. And used to feel hopeless, even, as if it’s just a trait that would have to stick to me. You helped change that belief in me, thank you.

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      So glad this helped Emily. Hopefully we can get more personal on the blog and videos as we go and show more of Matt’s techniques + how to apply them in your life.

      Steve x

  20. Nathalie Avalos says:

    Uhhh testing testing 123…

    Naughty Naughty Stephen ratting your brother out ;) Will you keep spilling the beans? Btw Matthew, it just tickles how you masculines diary keeping into note taking clever indeed. You guys are better than Cosmopolitan Magazines. So, when will you launch “The Hussey Cosmo”?

    Peace! I’m not an accountant so I am not bothering with counting how many replies you received. Best wished to Hussey Clan :)

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      I didn’t rat him out – just gave him a gentle nudge ;)

      Thanks Nathalie – Hussey Cosmo is on hold right now, as we’re a little busy with blogs/videos/seminars/radio show. We’ll put in on the list though.

      All best!

      Stephen x

  21. Jessica says:

    Hey, Matthew!
    I have been seeing this guy since the 4th of July… we are still talking and hanging out. When is it okay to ask him where things are gojng? Or where he wants things to go? He has a 7 yr old son, and from the first night we hung out, he told me wanted to settle down. Which, I am up for if things got serious…. I just don’t know how to approach him asking him what we are or what we could be? Or if he sees anything happening between us.

    Xoxo
    Jess

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Hi Jessica,

      I know you asked Matt this question, but here are my initial thoughts. It’s quite soon. If it’s been less than a month, it’s really not time to bring up a “what are we, what could we be” conversation. That’s not to say it won’t come up casually when you talk about where you see your future – but right now I really wouldn’t have direct conversations about figuring out the future of the relationship. You still need time to build more emotional connection and closeness/intimacy, before you really know how things will be down the line.

      He’ll likely reveal to you how he sees things by his actions. See if he invests time/energy into bringing your closer into his world and opens up to you emotionally. Look for signs that he wants to make you a part of his life. If you must have a big conversation early on (and like I said, I don’t recommend it), bring the idea up in a casual and light way, instead of a confrontational way where he is expected to decide the entire future potential for the relationship within the first few weeks. Pressuring someone to do this too soon is not fair, since he probably needs time to get to know you better before he decides anything long-term.
      Hope that helps,

      Steve x

  22. Hyacinth says:

    Read your newsletter on “what to do next.”

    If you’re not comfortable sharing what your techniques, – don’t. The message will be tainted and you may not give it your all. Perhaps that’s demanding on my end – wanting you to give me your all; wanting your best. But, it’s the truth. I want your all.

    Personally, I know when I share prematurely – be it due to not being prepared, or just not wanting to share – I end up feeling yucky. And icky. I feel gross! And no one wants to spend 24 hours a day with someone they think is gross.

    You know what you’re going to do. I know you know what you’re going to do. It’s just a matter of getting yourself to the point of execution. The problem isn’t whether or not you should share or not… it’s whether you’re ready to. You’ll be, essentially, exposing a huge part of yourself to us. Your heart. It’s a lot more personal to you than navigating the dating waters. At least it’s a different kind of personal anyway.

    Presumptuously telling you all about yourself,

    Hyacinth

  23. Jo says:

    Hello Hussey Brothers! I am a huge fan :)

    So after almost 2 years of dating here and there (thanks to your book), I recently met someone (he was 28, I’m 32) that I actually genuinely liked and thought there could be potential. Finally! Our first time meeting, which was supposed to be an hour or 2 at a coffee place, ended up being hours of talking, followed by “do you wanna go watch tv” and when I asked where, he said “my place” and after a few seconds I agreed.

    He showed me around, we talked more and then he finally kissed me, and it innocently went on for a long time to where I ended up canceling going out with my girl friend, and ended up staying over. I left at noon and went back that evening, met him for dinner the next day and slept over again the next night. He had a very full schedule which left me with mainly seeing him after 10:30 so thats why I stayed over. I really thought we had potential even though i didn’t feel like he asked me much about me, and i asked him a lot. But I let go because I thought we were heading towards something possibly. I used your advice and didn’t text him all the time, I gave him his space and wasn’t needy or asking what we were. I was proud of myself

    So after 4 days in a row together, I saw him for one or 2 more sleepover night together over a week later and then a few days later he called and said “although i enjoyed our time together, I’m just not in the right mindset for a relationship. I’m just not feeling it.” I was like umm okay… so what you’re saying is even if you WERE wanting a relationship, it won’t be with me?” and he said yes. I got pretty upset. Oh, and We never slept together. He tried of course but I wanted to wait bc I actually liked him.

    I was so bummed because I thought i did so well, and really tried to use what you say. I know I shouldn’t have slept over because it probably made me emotionally involved and probably not him but I feel like once I did it, I couldn’t take it away or not do it anymore.. Probably why i wanted to wait to sleep together.

    I am just getting frustrated and feeling beat up by the whole dating game.
    Any words of encouragement? I came to your tour in Philly and you wrote “Never Settle” I try to live by that but sometimes I just don’t connect with guys when I meet them! And the ones I do end up not wanting me.

    Please give a girl some encouraging words!

    xoxo
    Jo

    • Hyacinth says:

      Hey Jo,
      I’m neither Matt, nor Stephen. I’m not a love expert at all in fact! But man, I can feel your pain and confusion in reading what you wrote. That sounds like a sucky situation. I can only imagine how amazing, rare, and genuine it felt… and how devastating it must feel now. I’m giving you a virtual hug.
      Well, I wanted to say two things:
      1. There’s something I vaguely remember Matt saying once. The gist, and take back, from what he said was “he’s just not your soulmate.” Meaning your guy is still out there. This guy just wasn’t it/him. I find strength in that thought, I hope it gives you something too.
      2. You may have given too much of yourself too soon. I’m a work in progress on that part. When we give of ourselves we kinda rack up this debt, that we don’t know we’re racking up. Kinda like that person owes us something for all we’ve given them (even if we gave it freely at the time). It’s a strange one. I’m not you, and I don’t know the full story. But I can say sex isn’t everything. And we can still give a lot of ourselves to someone without giving them our physical selves. I believe that’s what may have happened here. Did he earn a spot over your girlfriend for you to cancel plans? Did he earn all those hours you spent with him? To him, perhaps it was all too easy to get your time, and attention. That he didn’t have to put much work in. I’m sorry – I’m sure Matt (and Stephen), would phrase all this so much better.. and shorter.

      Well, Jo, from one lady going through it to another – good luck! You got this!

  24. Plamena says:

    Hihih that’s great Matt!! You and your brother are great team!

    Plammy

  25. Yelena says:

    Hi Matt! Sooooo excited to see you tomorrow on your tour!!!! WOOP WOOP :)

  26. Thirza says:

    Hi Matthew im so Sorry that i did’nt comment on your post for so long. But alott has happened to me and etc.
    Too be short about it i have had a eating disored but i overwin it i’m so ashamed to write this i never thought i overcomes me but we also human en we learn from the mistakes we make. In the meanwhile i still have my internship in the bakkery. And i’m also having found a vacationjob after so many rejections more than 7 believe me i was so hard to search a another one and than still keep believing that i may work out.
    But luckily in life you have two options 1:Stand up and face your fears 2: Face your fears and learn from it and rise or something like that :P

    But i lucklily i got a vacation by the Mcdonalds
    and i always said two years ago that i never wanted to work there even when it was the last place on earth.
    now you know how life works ou sometimes. Sometimes you have no choices anymore if you wanna earn some money right?

    Im so Sorry That i didn’t comment earlier.
    I have one question for you ?
    If i may see a nice guy or something you never know right ;) how can i start a conversation with him
    im a shy girl and i’m almost a wallflower nobody notice me atleast i think how can you start a conversation with him without being akward i know being yourself it’s the main thing what you can do how can you handle something like the.

    Lovely Greetz From Thirza From The Netherlands
    And Yeah now one year older than when i first commented your blog i mean a 16 year old girl :P

  27. Erin says:

    Hi guys, i really loved this video! Nothing better than having a brother your close with ( I have one myself). It takes a lot of guts to admit that you’re not naturally charismatic and it’s something that ALL people have to work on. I also want to add I love when you post the videos of you answering guest questions on iheart radio!

    Keep up the good work guys and I appreciate all the insight!

    Much love xoxo
    -Erin

  28. Aimee says:

    First off, thank you so much for you’re ever insightful content! It has been so helpful to have little bits I can incorporate into my life and work on to have a more successful love life. I recently ran into a situation where after a first date the guy told me how excited he was to continue having more dates, and after the 3rd date I felt that he back every distant. I am rather picky when it comes to men so when I find someone I have chemistry with I guess I get a bit excited too, but what could I have done that scared him off?

  29. Helen says:

    WOMENS weekend. Lol, potato potaaato, we’re all winners…

  30. Helen says:

    Hi Matt,

    I’m really interested in doing a Skype session with you, not sure if it’s still something you do? If so would love to hear more. Have been on the winner weekend and loved it, I’d love to delve deeper personally :-)

    Helen

  31. Matthew Hussey says:

    While I’m answering comments below I have to just say…

    It’s so much fun to be commenting next to my bro on this blog (see below). This is the first blog ever that we’ve commented side by side, and it’s SO cool! lol

    Matthew

    P.S. He’s in Oxford in England and I’m on a plane writing this travelling to New York from LA. How crazy is life.

  32. Julie Jones says:

    I am so happy you posted this information, Matthew & Stephen!

    It was actually that exact Elvis Duran interview that I first heard of you, so it was very (admittedly) entertaining to learn the behind-the-scenes “preparation”. Since that interview I have followed your blogs and videos for all the great tips & advice because they are so useful! I think you do an amazing job at showing people how to be the best & happiest versions of themselves! Whether in their love lives or just being more confident every single day.

    Please continue to share your wealth of knowledge & wonderful stories!!

    Thanks,
    Julie

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Julie!

      Welcome! I’m so glad you discovered us through Elvis Duran. I’m really proud of what we’ve created here, and I think it’s truly unique in that it helps people with their love lives, but also helps break down life and people in simple ways that allow us to refine ourselves a little more each day.

      I’m so happy you’re on board, and I look forward to reading your comments in the future.

      Matthew x

  33. Lisa says:

    I’m sorry guys, this one time I don’t agree with you. I think that it’s not fair that Matthew spent so much effort and time discovering these technics and now people just have it all on a silver plate, no effort if not for dowloading it.
    I see what you were trying to do Sthepen, but i think it would have been most usefull make people understand that there is a technique behinde it all so that, if someone was really caring about being appreciate and good with others,that person would have to work for it and understand it from Matthew’s interview and seminars since thereis a lot of material to go through… besides , in my opinion, a “normal” person doesn’t need such steps to be with others not like Matthew does anyway, being all over the world dealing with all sort of people.

    That being said, i always find your work interesting and challeging, nothing of what you do or say will make me think less of you.

    Thanks
    Lisa

    Ps- say Hi to Jameson xD

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Hi Lisa,

      I understand your concerns, but I have to disagree with your last comment i.e. that a “normal” person doesn’t need these skills, because they aren’t doing the wide variety of things Matt does. Matt and I believe that everyone can benefit from possessing impact and charisma in every part of their daily lives, whether in dating, networking, job interviews, sales, pitching, making friends, or being good company at parties. These life skills *never* stop being important, no matter who you are or what work you do.

      I wrote the guide (which Matthew agreed to release, of course) precisely so that every person could find ways to apply the techniques Matt had worked incredibly hard to learn in their own lives. After we spoke Matt chose to release this to his audience precisely because he knows how valuable he has found this material and how much he wants other people to share the fruits of his labour.

      No-one doubts Matt had to work insanely hard to perfect his craft and develop himself to cope with the many challenges of being so visible in the public eye (e.g. TV interviews, Youtube, radio) – Believe me, I’ve seen and admired his incredible drive to succeed and improve. Me and Matt are the closest friends in the world. I would never have given this material away without his consent, which is why we discussed it thoroughly first. But we both agreed it was too valuable NOT to share with his audience.

      Thanks for your comments!

      Steve x

      P.S. I’ll give Jameson a kiss when I next see him.

  34. Elle says:

    Mathew nothing could make me NOT LOVE YOU so bring it mr HUSSEY

  35. Sarah says:

    I think it is the perfect chance for you to discover new opportunities to try out! I remember a really smart and lovely man saying that people should go out of their comfort zone and try out new things in order to widen their horizon ;) What about the last video you made – remember your advice for us?

    Also, I liked the material, BUT!

    BUT I did NOT so much like the way it is conveyed. Because when one reads the first few pages, it appears like we are all this interaction had just been faked. But it’s not. Preparation is ok and at least you show the courage and modesty to open up and to reveal your techniques you use in your job! I mean it is your job! Of course, you work on your communication skills! Of course, your charismatic personality is NOT limited on these techniques, Matt! Obviously you learned about your past and you show a great soul and interest in human beings, in their behaviour and their way to reach not only their ears, but more importantly their hearts! <3

    Please don't let it bother you. It is rather a psychological approach to communication than any sort of secret. Also, I think you could see this as an opportunity to do more videos about these skills :) I find it pretty interesting!

    You are charaismatic, not because of your secrets, but because of the honesty you show us – just like now – and people can look through a fasade, you're charismatic because you show us, you're human – showing this may be one of the superpowers politicians, VIPs and celebreties might never have!

    Love

    xxx
    Sarah :)

    • Sarah says:

      Sorry, I just realized I made lots of grammar mistakes here and there :D But I’m a liiiittle tipsy ^^

      My final comment to my comment: In vino veritas! :D

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Hey Sarah,

      Thanks for commenting.

      Just to clarify – by showing that these are techniques Matt uses I am definitely NOT meaning to denigrate them at all. In fact, I think they make Matt’s talents all the more impressive. All I wanted to do was show people that they can possess these skills too – that they aren’t a special gift – that everyone can adopt the tools of the charismatic person to great effect in their everyday lives.

      Matt’s authenticity and warmth are obviously parts of his personality – but part of charisma is being able to USE these traits well, and that’s what I hope the guide we released shows.

      All best! :)

      Steve x

      • Sarah says:

        I see, thanks for the kind reply :) And again, sorry for all the ungrammatical truths I spilled out ^^
        I think the idea is great. I just wished the way of selling these techniques would be less ‘sensational’, if that is the proper expression to deliver of what I mean to say… I think we’re talking about some communication skills that belong to some extent to the ‘scientific field of psychology’ and therefore, it should be discussed this way (like facts taken out of a book, I mean where did Matt get these techniques from ? Did he invent them all ?). At least in my eyes it seems pretty nice, ok, totally fine :) even awesome to open up one’s own techniques. Obviously, many people use them,so why shouldn’t we ? Of course, we could profit from these kind of information for our lifetime :)
        So, people are not born charismatic – so what? Skill comes with practice :)

        Finally, I want to thank you :) For hearing us out, for being so honest with us and also, just for being such nice persons :) Have a great one!

        Best
        Sarah

  36. Mariana says:

    Guys! Really loved the download material! Please, go deep on this stuff or at least tell me where to learn it! I’m just going to use it tomorrow!

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      I’ve been talking to Matt about this for a while Mariana – he’s seriously considering delving into more. x

  37. alexia says:

    What a TEAM the two of you are!Love it!

  38. alison says:

    I would love to hear more about how you can create charisma and natural charm. You certainly have it as I saw for myself at your recent London get the guy day. I downloaded the music onto my ipod and play it all the way to work to remind me of the energy I can have everyday.

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Awesome Alison! Yea, music is a big part of what we do in our live events. Love that it has inspired you to use it yourself. Hopefully I’ll do more posts on this kind of thing, and maybe Matt will put more material out there too (he’s a busy boy though, from what I hear!).

      Thanks!

      Steve x

  39. River says:

    I really enjoyed watching and reading this, but it does seem like you have a bit of a babouchka effect going on now, you’re using the techniques mentioned in Stephen’s post to introduce the post itself,lol :)
    At any case, the dating advice is great, but learning how to be charming all around is much more interesting. Keep it up, we also enjoy hearing from Stephen, he’s your secret weapon apparently!

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Not so secret anymore, apparently ;)

      Things are getting confusing – who’s using whose techniques?? ha

      Glad to hear your loving the new stuff River, thanks for commenting!

      Steve

  40. Jo says:

    Truth is strength. You are stronger and more appealing if you are true.

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Agreed. But sometimes techniques can help be even MORE of your authentic self than you were before.

      Thanks Jo!

      Steve x

  41. Fifi says:

    Hi Matthew,

    This was one of my favourite videos/blog post, mainly because I could spot your techniques whenever you were not spontaneous, and it’s sweet that you admitted it. Stephen is doing a great job. The reason I subscribed years ago was because I love your outlook and approach to life, as it is very similar to mine, it’s just nice to hear it from someone else sometimes. I hope to be as successful as yo in a few years time. So proud of you and Stephen. <3

    Best Wishes,
    Fifi

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Thanks Fifi!

      What can I say? Matt’s the king of IMPACT and I wanted to show how much hard work and thought he’s put into his delivery so people can understand how to apply it themselves.

      Keep working hard and amazing things can happen. Hope we can help you along the way.

      Steve x

  42. Fifi says:

    Hi Matthew,

    This was one of my favourite videos/blog post, mainly because I could spot your techniques whenever you were not spontaneous, and it’s sweet that you admitted it. Stephen is doing a great job. The reason I subscribed years ago was because I love your outlook and approach to life, as it is very similar to mine, it’s just nice to hear it from someone else sometimes. I hope to be as successful as yo in a few years time. So proud of you and Stephen. <3

    Love Fifi

  43. Katie says:

    Love all of this so much…the good cop/bad cop vibe y’all have going on is awesome! I think adding Stephen (openly) to the writing/blogging team was brill. Together, you boys are unstoppable!

    But PS. Where are the vids of Stephen?! So mysterious, that one. ;)

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      I’ll only do videos if Jameson can capture my good side on film.

      Am I bad cop? I feel more like ‘cheeky’ cop, to be honest :)

      All best Katie!

      Steve

      • Katie says:

        Haha! Well, good cop/cheeky cop didn’t have the same ring to it. Plus, we Southern girls don’t really use the word ‘cheeky’ as often as we probably should. :)

        So yes, we can go with ‘cheeky cop’…but it’ll cost you a video in the near future!

  44. Cintia says:

    Thanks for sharing this, Matt and Stephen!
    Love reading and listening to you guys, always right on point and always helping me in reading people and in opening my mind.

    Huge hugs from Argentina,
    Cin

  45. Raquel Martinez says:

    Wow I just had a brainal (spelling? Probably wrong). Amazing thank you Stephen And Matt you’re super . I actually kind of Do the same I build. Conversations in my mind or build scenarios and practice how I’m going to react or say so perfectly natural Matt

    Thank again ill study these like a final exam for school

    Matt should release a book. With all his secrets

    Lots of love

    Raq

  46. A. says:

    Thanks for sharing this with us. It really had such a brotherly vibe and said a lot of good things about who you two are as family.

    I wish I could be so spontaneous. But I’m just so stubborn. For example, on the plane I’d just want to disconnect. But maybe I can make things into stories to instead of just being annoyed. It would be a big leap for me.

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Look for stories everywhere and you’ll start finding them. I find with spontaneity the best way is to incorporate it piece-by-piece. Just try saying an extra sentence here and there, or being 10% more honest with people, or just say something out loud you’re thinking when you flirt with someone, or take ONE spontaneous decision about something you feel like doing every week (even if it’s just going to the movies for no reason, or calling a friend out of the blue, or going out for a drink in the middle of the week).

      Thanks for the lovely comment

      Steve x

  47. Wendy says:

    Hi Matt.Your brother was right to’out’you LOL It is great to hear an introvert’s story.I love ‘Quiet’ by Susan Cain and think it is pertinent to you-especially as you are trying to build a business in the US.I have worked in the events industry for many years and have learned to be an extrovert when i need to be.Being prepared and having stories to tell is prerequisite to survival and in fact finding joy in teaching and interacting with others.Love and encouragement.Wendy x

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Yes, exactly. Preparation helps you be an extrovert when you need to, even if it doesn’t come naturally to you. Wish more people thought like you about this issue Wendy!

      Thanks!

      Steve x

  48. marwa says:

    Matt , i’m really glade you let these info be published , you just can’t imagine how helpful they are … and thanks to Stephen for letting that happen =D “lucky us”

    it was really interesting to know about your experiences and actually it didn’t take away any bet bit of the fact that you got an amazing charisma , yet it made it clear that you owned your charisma by your hard work which added more VALUE to it ” see what i did there i’m quoting you =b”
    I’ve been through kinda similar experience , i had to build my our confidence and improve my conversational skills , i can say i’m not the same person i used to be 5 years ago …. so this new approach would be very helpful to me and many of your viewers

    waiting for your next video .. this is the closest i can get to the feeling of being in one of your seminars , since i live in Sudan … SO keep up the good work ;)

    this is a HUGE shout out from Sudan

    • marwa says:

      my own confidence *

    • Stephen Hussey says:

      Thanks so much Marwa. Don’t worry if you can’t get to a seminar right now. We’ll keep putting out great stuff for you to help you, whether you meet us in person or not.

      And yes, there’s no shame in working hard to develop your charisma. I know I definitely have had to (as a natural bookish introvert)!

      Big love,

      Steve x

  49. Aisha El-Huni says:

    Thanks for sharing Matt and Stephen. This is by far one of my favorite reads. Fans or followers usually get a glimpse in the story behind the success, so it is refreshing to get an in depth overview.

    Being spontaneous does not reject preparation; it is like improvisation in a sense. Any Improv actor would tell you that there is a lot of preparation and practice in the art. Although they are thrown in random situations with endless possibilities, preparation and acceptance will get through , which in turn will build up their confidence.

    Also , that anxious feeling at the pit of your stomach work wOnders.

    PS I am waiting for the day , you make it to Dubai.

    Best,
    Aisha

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      So glad to hear it’s a favourite Aisha! I’d love to come to Dubai. In the meantime, keep enjoying the content we send out each week : )

      Matthew x

  50. Dal says:

    I’m glad you two did this but after reading it I think there was a LITTLE more to this than just “Fine I’ll put it out there”….

  51. Linda says:

    WOW! What a great brother YOU have Matt! He cares sooo much, and has you planned for growth & burn out! What a love..I’ll date you both-gotta pick you’re brains! Matt, you do have a slight head twitch, before your cute laugh, goes with the questionable eyebrows that show above the sun glasses, sometimes. I loved this Steve! Up til 3am in Ca laughing. Matt you’re seminar/acting abilities. My ex (full charisma, manupulating; NOT YOU!) You are a natural! Admitting some flaws,natural language gives YOU life!! Storytelling is a natural & leaves you wide open from eras past til death do you part. Should I give that laugh? My Dad with Dimentia on 1st class had the scare of his life at 92, huge man behind him bent his chair back several times with death grips on my arm from my Dad (who normally stand up & give a what for with his heavy Telemark, Norwegian accent) when arising often for any reasom. When flying with my baby son on the night flights to the east coast, scared people expecting the worst sitting next to me/baby away – only to find he was fun making mouth sounds that cracked up the passenger’s. The stewardesses carried him everywhere,they loved his sweetness. Another bump in the road for the man who has studied keeping the mood in control: some born with, yep! Blushing is flushing (nerves=Chinese)Most shy with crave for knowledge goes far in life, just as storytelling. Going back to re-read. Steve needs “A BIG HUG”! Thankful for your videos to reach the womem. Now, my van blew, & need ex husband help, then hide from him. His humor turned rage is coming on to me,YOWSAH! He is trying to help but coming on to me a lot, This is very new! But 13yrs free rent living off me & tben gone
    my Mom knew he was cheating: he’s a cheater & feels normal, sick. Go Matt=GO YOU HAVE A FUTURE THAT’S AWAITING FOR YOU. IT’S A GIVEN, YOU WORKED HARD FOR IT. COMMAND THE ROOM, CORRAL THOSE FEMINE BRAINS. Linda

    PS: THIS COMMENT FIELD HAS SPACE PROBLEMS, STRETCHS OUT THE LETTERS,BUT THE INFO IS HERE, GLAD YOUR BROTHER HAS YOU IN HIS HEART!

  52. Theresa says:

    I’m having trouble downloading the content. My email address isn’t recognised.

  53. Darla says:

    Great content – Well done guys…. I’m reminded of a quote from Kunfo Panda… “the secret ingredient is NOTHING!” Like good old fashion chicken soup- I found it helpful to see Matt’s notes the “noodles”. It’s about the details that Stephen showed us today. I loved your airplane story, Matt Hussey, it was discussing and gross which made it memorable. That emotion stuck in my head, like a smelly pair of gym shoes. Time for me to stretch my personality- Thanks now I want Chicken Soup…

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Darla!

      I love that you want to stretch your personality and grow! Looking forward to bringing you more to help you in the coming weeks.

      Matthew x

  54. Jill says:

    Just give me a chance to show you what I have to offer cause I sure as hell can’t do it from a computer screen.

  55. Rachel says:

    I’m so glad that Steven encouraged you to put all this info out! This article was extremely helpful Matt! I personally could relate to the shy part, I felt like Steve was describing the younger me haha but we all find ways to grow out of our shell and develope certain techniques at helps us “charm” others.

    It takes a lot of courage to be that vulnerable and put yourself like this out there, for that I even respect you now more.

    Your mom must be so proud of her 2 sons, keep up the amazing work Hussey brothers!!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      She’s very proud Rachel!

      And I’m glad I made myself vulnerable, the comments today have been amazing. Thanks for yours, it really is appreciated.

      Matthew x

  56. Carolina Aceves says:

    Matthew, you have gained knowledge of how to influence others and you are very good at it, you know the subject a lot… Which, although not natural, not everyone has that knowledge.

    Yes, you learned some techniques, you have some secrets, but there’s nothing you have to feel embarrased about… You’re not doing anything wrong, because what you know it comes from something you learned and earned with effort and dedication, through hours of studies and walking your talk…

    And let me tell you this… being this honest and transparent in order to help people improve their personal lives and increase their own happiness is the best natural charisma that you could ever have! And with this, you are showing us your natural charisma!

    By doing this you show humility, and you show us that your natural, real person has a genuine desire to help others to improve their personal lifes… There is nothing more charismatic and influential in a person that …

    Please keep sharing this information, was a great idea of your brother and we’re very interested in those subjects too! There would be very benefital and useful for all of us who would like to learn better ways to communicate with others…

    Thank you very much to you and your brother, and i’d love to keep reading yours and your brother’s posts about this subjects…

    Best wishes…

    Carolina.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks for the encouragement Carolina. We’re all in this together. I can’t help you if I’m not willing to be open about myself where necessary. It definitely makes me feel closer to people like yourself to give you more about me.

      Thanks for being here.

      Matthew x

  57. Mo says:

    p.s yo stephen – you are pretty awesome too!

    i think we need a post filled with pics of you two as kiddies :D

  58. Suzanne says:

    The best opportunities that have found me in life were the ones where I was brave enough to chance looking like a fool. I champion the fact that you continue to raise the bar of integrity around your message in addition to offering up so much wisdom and laughter.

  59. Maria says:

    It`s really interesting to learn new stuff at least once a week. I don`t think that being prepared for something makes people fake or makes them seem unreal or something. Everyone can be prepared so that`s only their fault when they are not. It is great that your videos now are not only about specific area in our life like ”love” but also the other fields. You can not develop only one sphere in your life because than you will be unbalanced,

    so THANK you, Hussey brothers for revealing some of the secrets that you have

    I’ve seen that some people think that Stephen is being jealousy but he is not )))

  60. Mo says:

    Your grin is contagious but that’s by the by – THIS, this authenticity is why i keep on coming back to your blog.

    And Mr, that’s what brothers/siblings are there for – to let rip with our embarrassing secrets :)

  61. Petra says:

    Now THIS is the stuff that’s important!! Ofcourse the dating stuff is important aswell and it has brought people so much already, but this, this right here, your brother is right, Matt.
    HUGE stuff. And I am so happy to read it, because it shows me that some stuff I already do (more or less) and others I can work on.
    I LOVE IT.

    Hugs,
    Petra

  62. Emelie says:

    Thank you for sharing this Matthew, it’s brave of you. Good you’re brother convinced you!

  63. Andrea says:

    Hey Matt and Stephen!

    Thanks for putting this vlog / post out today. I love the quality of the content. Not only on dating but to other areas of life we call all benefit from! At one point I was following too many “guru’s” and getting saturated with content. However, I ended up just following your blog and other social media sites as I find it to be helpful on many levels.

    I do have a question regarding how you acquired all these skills (Yes, I am asking for another secret ;)? Curious to know what are the 3 most influential books you have read that have elevated your success?

    Again, thanks for the incredible information you put out!

    Andrea

  64. Kelly says:

    This is perfect! Thank you for posting this and the recording of the radio show! Maybe you should do a video on how to talk to people when it comes to friends and not just dating since you know so much about the subject of people!

  65. lynsie rooke says:

    Thanks for this :) really enjoyed your vid today .

  66. Kalea says:

    Stephen’s 3rd point on being an Emotional Conductor!

    Thanks a lot for sharing, really made me think about myself as a girlfriend/woman (who is a very complicated relationship) and as a soon-to-be recent masters graduate and will face interviews.

    So I was especially interested in Stephen’s 3rd point. If you could give advice on that or examples in the future posts! To give a different perspective on conversations.

    If for instance my bf has a tendency to criticise me, or he loses his temper when I make a comment or ask him a question he does not know and thinks is “silly”.

    We were in a relationship for over 5 years and he broke up with me a year ago as things were getting worse between us, but seems he wants to make it up, however, the fact he feels very familiar with me, so he can lose his temper quite quickly and answer: “I don’t know why he said that, ask him if you want to know” (Although whatever I asked about Him would be inapproproate or silly to ask that person personally anyway, so my ex’s reply is silly in return).

    But at the same time, although I don’t like his behviour in these instances, I know that I am too serious of a person, I take everything too personally and over-think everything he says.

    So if I would be able to divert his mood and make things into a joke etc then we would potentially have better relationship as he is really great as a bf otherwise, and I know he does love me in spite of my own quirks.

    But such advice would be great to have also when I will be at a job interview or any other situation as this is something about how I deliver “speech” or have conversation or how I even look at life.

    Massive thanks!

    Kalea x

  67. Daria says:

    To be honest, I don’t believe someone could just go to an interview unprepared. Come on! I listened to this interview a few weeks ago when it came out and I laughed at that story too because it was genuinely funny! What’s wrong with that?

    It’s great that you have been always interested in knowing how to “influence” people, but I think not everybody wants to change the core of who they are. I’ve always been introverted, shy and never felt good in front of the crowd, but trying to really alter and change this would be counter-productive, because this is the way I am. I appreciate the fact that you revealed your techniques, but I can’t picture myself using some techniques all the time instead of just being me. So when you meet a woman YOU like, you also employ all of these strategies? Or are you just you’re normal, introverted self? It’s interesting because if you’re always acting then no woman will ever have a chance to fall in love with the real you Matthew. And I think that would be a real shame. Not everybody likes extroverts and people boasting with confidence everywhere they go. There are all kinds of people on this planet and as many different tastes.

    On the side note, I don’t think your brother should reveal ALL your secrets and I agree that it is too personal, but if you’re OK with that then well… it is your decision.

    I’m a little confused right now and I’m not sure what to think. I’ll read the whole pdf because it’s interesting and maybe I’ll find it useful. After all, if you didn’t try to discover these techniques and then apply them in your life, you might never realise your full potential and become a successful couch helping many people (including me). Well, I will certainly be thinking about this post for the next few days, very thought-provoking!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Daria,

      I fear you may be judging this with a bit too much of a knee jerk response.

      I was always an introvert, but my life has been immeasurably improved by learning how to use the skills of the extrovert when I need them. If I didn’t learn this, I wouldn’t have had an interesting love life because I never would have met anyone, and you wouldn’t be writing this comment today because noone would have noticed my videos on youtube or wanted to come to my seminars.

      I’m still an introvert, that’s for sure. But I’m an introvert who has learnt how to put his best foot forward and be counted. That is a superpower for anyone who learns it.

      Thanks for commenting!

      Matthew x

  68. Hidz says:

    Wow Matthew was replying the comments here! This is impressive. I wonder what had happened? I came to the comment section just to check out does anyone have a problem to download the article. By the way, Stephen thank you for pushing your brother to do something out of his box, and Matthew thank you for stepping out, breaking the box and sharing the pieces. All the best!
    Love, Hidz.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Hidz!

      I always read the comments, but responding is not always easy given my schedule. Having said that, I wanted to help out as many people as possible with their understanding of this piece that Steve wrote, because I think it’s so important. People who ‘get’ it, will fundamentally be more empowered, and it will open up a new world of possibilities to them.

      Matthew x

      • Hidz says:

        Hey I read the article…and guess what…I’ll try those techniques very soon! Hahaha….siblings could be pretty scary sometimes when they revealed our ugly truth-huh :). Good job Stephen and Matthew. I followed your progress (online) for years and I can see Stephen’s points clearly.

    • marwa says:

      Matt , i’m really glade you let these info be published , you just can’t imagine how helpful they are … and thanks to Stephen for letting that happen =D “lucky us”

      it was really interesting to know about your experiences and actually it didn’t take away any bet bit of the fact that you got an amazing charisma , yet it made it clear that you owned your charisma by your hard work which added more VALUE to it ” see what i did there i’m quoting you =b”

      I’ve been through kinda similar experience , i had to build my our confidence and improve my conversational skills , i can say i’m not the same person i used to be 5 years ago …. so this new approach would be very helpful to me and many of your viewers

      waiting for your next video .. this is the closest i can get to the feeling of being in one of your seminars , since i live in Sudan … SO keep up the good work ;)

  69. Paloma says:

    THANK you for letting everyone know that you too, are human like everyone else. You shed light on something we don’t emphasize enough for success– that “natural talent” is nothing without “hard work.”

  70. Kathryn says:

    Stephen gives the audience the best content each and every week, this week is brilliant in particular. Plus it’s such a long article, as always so beautifully written.
    He has definitely done the right thing. I think it’s lovely he is such a great supporter for you. He won’t say things just to please you and gently points out a direction if he feels it’s right. We would all like a support in life like that, you are very lucky. And he’s so modest as well, all lovely qualities. Your mum must be an amazing person to have brought up such amazing sons. No wonder she is immensely proud of you all.
    Kathryn x

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      What a beautiful comment Kathryn. Thankyou.

      I just emailed my mum your comment knowing how happy it will make her to read.

      And I agree, my brother is the man.

      Matthew x

  71. Allison says:

    I loved this advice :) I really identified with it since as a teenager and young adult I was also painfully shy and awkward. People seem to have this idea that you are who you are, whether shy, outgoing, or charismatic – and there is no changing that. But this goes to show that a lot of people skills can be learned and practiced :) You have been a great inspiration to me on my continued journey to becoming a better person!!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      “‘Charisma is not a gift, it’s a tool” Seth Godin.

      Thankyou for your support Allison.

      Matthew x

  72. Clare says:

    This just makes me love you even more:). What sets you aside from all other ‘gurus’ out there is your honesty and modesty, and finding out that you work harder and put even more effort into what you do that I thought you did only increases my respect! So say thanks to Stephen for me. (first time commenting!:) )

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Yay first time comment celebration! (I’m doing a little dance).

      I ALWAYS want to bring you new ideas, strategies, techniques, and keep pushing the limits of what we can do together. What a dreadful thing it would be if I had become predictable.

      I look forward to your next comment. ; )

      Matthew x

  73. Misha Sinclair says:

    I personally do not believe that your brother should have done that, at all! If he felt you should share these strategies with the world, he could have suggested incorporating them in the many seminars you give. There is no need for a public announcement! In ‘This’ world, success is not always owed to achievement but also so mystique. I don’t think I am reaching but perhaps your brother should write a blog on why he felt the need to, ‘Out’ you! A little sibling jealousy reared it’s ugly head for a moment! I’ve seen the nicest of people have to deal with this but it is there. Maybe he should dig deeper into his psyche to see why he felt so compelled to do this. Also, if he felt you were getting a swelled head and wanted to insert the needle to deflate it. He could have done this in private! Nonetheless, it does not change that way I view you. You are still a brilliant, impressive and humble man! Carry on Matthew! Carry on!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Ah Misha, don’t worry too much, my brother’s only motive was to do what I told him to do at the begin of the year: “Give my audience the best content you possibly can each and every week”. He has fulfilled that demand this week.

      And he did of course ask my permission, and I said yes, knowing that it would help people, which from the looks of these comments it has.

      Me and my brother are best friends, and he’s my most loyal supporter in the world. Jealousy is not a word he knows when it comes to me. If you want proof, check out the cover of my book, which became a NYT bestseller and doesn’t even have his name on the cover, even though he wrote half of it. He deserves all of our thanks for the hard work he does with so little recognition for his genius.

      Matthew x

      P.S. All of this should show that what he is really too humble to admit, is that I have him to thank for a huge amount of my own personal impact!

  74. Goldberry says:

    Don’t worry, Matt, some of us could tell you were using stratagems because you were just too prepared! :-) I think the danger is in taking it too far to the “influencing” side, which results in a fake and selfish impression. Yes, we can use these techniques (which some learn naturally over time) to manipulate people, but without the humility and desire to give, it becomes an exercise in control. A performance. This is why people are revolted by politicians — we can sense the attempt at mind control and manipulation, and rarely much sincerity. I think this approach works very well in high-pressure situations like a TV or radio show, or in the work world… but I would use it with caution in my personal life because that much preparation is simply not genuine. It’s not healthy to be always thinking about what “effect” my words will have or looking at everyone as an audience.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Goldberry!

      You are right to be concerned about some people’s use of such techniques. However, you hit the nail on the head when you said “without humility and desire to give”. I always try to ensure that these two things are present in what I do. Despite any surface level techniques, what I believe and want to give from my core doesn’t change. In a seminar my goal is to get the audience to understand something that will help them using a variety of techniques. If I wanted to get a date my goal would be to ‘convince’ that person that I was worth going on a date with lol. It’s all a form of manipulation, but not all manipulation is bad. When a comedian gets on stage their goal is to manipulate us into laughing. But we want to laugh, so it’s all good!

      Ultimately we have to be coming from a sincere place, but there’s nothing wrong with learning how to put your best foot forward so that you have people’s attention in the first place.

      Thanks for commenting!

      Matthew x

  75. Olli says:

    Dear technical support, hey guys!

    I’m really intrigued by this topic so could you please check if the following error can be fixed:
    There was 1 error:
    Invalid value provided for: _UserCountryName0
    I entered the same email that I have in the comments here.

    Really appreciate what you do for us!:)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Olli! I have my team looking into this, could you let me know if you manage to get around the issue?

      • Olli says:

        Thanks again to you, Matt, and to Stephen, for this blog post! have just read it and it’s great and what I always wanted to know as wondered how all the stars stay so positive and irresistible in front of the camera, I really thought they attended some special course and now I know they did! and how liberating it is to realise that being born shy doesn’t put a label on you, you can always change that!
        Yeah you should do this! You should teach us to get as pro as you are! Are you up for a challenge?;)

        PS Thanks a million to your professional tech support and specifically to Edward who solved all the problems in no time!

        Olli x

  76. Olli says:

    hey, Matt, thanks for deciding to put that out, it takes real guts to do that. Besides, I don’t think it takes away any impessiveness from you (alright, maybe a tinsy little bit;)as I’m sure you can be real good spontaneous in your real life it’s just business needs loads more for that matter. Every and each great speaker does get spontaneous before the actual situation and write that down. yeah, as I said that’s business baby))
    Ps I don’t know why he decided to do that but he’s your brother and deserves being forgiven I think:)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      LOL he’s forgiven Ollie don’t worry.

      As for spontaneity, the only time we can be truly spontaneous is when we are prepared!

      x

  77. Liz says:

    I’m a regular follower of all your videos matt but this is the first time I’ve ever left a comment. Just want to thank you so much for allowing this content to be released, and thanks to Stephen for orchestrating it. I understand that you’re reluctant to give away ‘secrets’ you’ve spent so much time and effort cultivating, but I want to thank you profusely for doing so, as sharing this type of information has such a positive impact on the way I live my life. I shall definitely be saving this for a re-read!

    From an inspired fan :)

  78. Barbara says:

    No surprise here. But it’s great that you are willing to share your underlying principles! I’ve come to practice most of this myself, so I do have an easy time, specifically with strangers, but it’s good to have it written together like that.

    I’m sure it will help many people out there and encourage them. It shows that this isn’t something that is just lost on some and inherited by others.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Barbara!

      Love hearing that you’re already practically a lot of this, you’re a pro ; )

      Matthew x

  79. edith says:

    Matthew, its not really a surprise for me that your charisma is a result of practice and self-developed since you have told it yourself many times. Knowing that you used to be an unconfident person once and learnt to be this fascinating personality only gives you more authenticity and makes you a huge inspiration. I have practiced what you teach in regards to confidence and human relationship and you advice changed me from feeling completely disempowered to very empowered. So don’t ever think anybody will perceive you differently because you revealed some “secrets”. Love you!!! :)

  80. Leecis says:

    Have not read Stephan’s article yet. Knowing you, you will use this expience as a challenge. Make you up your game.

  81. Fadzillah says:

    How did you start learning about people? Did you start reading or did you start by putting yourself out there and become and observant?

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thousands of hours of practice. I spent a huge amount of time breaking down people who I thought had tremendous impact and charisma and figuring out what they did differently to everyone else. Then I put all of my research in one place and studied it like crazy.

      Thanks for commenting Fadzillah!

      Matthew x

  82. Anna says:

    Am really eager to get what you were talking about.. but there is some problem for downloading from Rus.. Could u please give a different link for that?

  83. Camilla says:

    Stephen was actually right… this stuff is hot material :D
    Thank you both for sharing such an inspiring insight, I do believe that this is one of your best web content so far.
    I’ve actually found out that I was applying some of your techniques without even knowing it …. Having all “the rules” laid out in plain sight is pretty revealing!
    Thanks again guys :)

    Camilla x

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I agree Camilla! My bro is the best. When he puts what he sees into his beautiful words there’s no one better.

      Matthew x

  84. Impact Babe in the making says:

    Hi Matthew,

    I have always loved all your videos and followed you for that reason. Your fascination for people psychology always inspired me on a bigger scale than just how to get a guy. But I truly think an Impact video course from you on all these techniques would help so much. I’m naturally shy and I’m creating a great career and life for me and as I am making progress I need to know how to create impact. Knowing this will contribute to other areas of life. Impact for me is about how to take what’s inside and amplify it to the world with the aim to share and grow. If there is one person I/we can learn on this it’s you Matthew. Thanks

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Wow, this line: “Impact for me is about how to take what’s inside and amplify it to the world with the aim to share and grow”

      I couldn’t have said it better myself.

      Matthew x

  85. Shev says:

    I want to thank you ( and your brother) for putting out this content. I love that it shows the time and energy needed to be “effortlessly” charismatic. :)
    Plan to use these tips and techniques in future interactions. Can’t wait to see the results! ;)
    Thanks guys and kindest regards!
    Shev x

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Thanks Shev!

      There is no such thing as “effortless”. Even these days when I come up with a great answer to something on the spot, it is spoken on the back of all of the techniques I’ve learned over the years. It’s the practice that allows me to be spontaneous and look effortless.

      Matthew x

  86. K~ says:

    Thanks for delivering value to us and seeming so down to earth~~~xxx

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      You’re welcome K. I always want to deliver value to you, whether you can pay for my programmes or not!

      Matthew x

  87. Jenny N. says:

    I love you no matter what Matt. But you are more sexy when you are vulnerable and uncomfortable. It’s deliciously cute. Bless your brother’s heart for writing such a wonderful, exposing article. I will say I think you are cuter than him.

  88. Linda says:

    LOVE the content of this latest email/video/blog! – HOWEVER, I see how the 2 of you used these techniques to deliver this message to us!

    Sorry, but someone had to say it, Matt (and Steve)!

    Love ya anyway, and thanks for the truly WONDERFUL inside tips – I’ll be using them as soon as I can get them honed. ;-)

    Keep those videos coming – I love watching them all and listening to everything you have to say!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Linda,

      No.1 rule, always be entertaining. If you’re boring, it doesn’t matter what you teach, no one is listening.

      Keep watching, it’s only going to get better.

      Matthew

  89. Emily says:

    OK, that 5 minute audio clip got me laughing out loud after midnight when I was feeling a little low. And Stephen’s article…well, let me just say he sounds like the brother who ate Lucky Charm cereal after all the Lucky Charms were stripped out. Oh, sibling rivalry. Love you guys!

  90. Maya says:

    Exposing a vulnerability, or past vulnerability, and a behind the scenes “secret” or so incredibly endearing. I’ve noticed a guy I like does this and it works so well on me 
    The part about being shy and working through it really hit home with me. I’ve dealt with it and now my son is working through it.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Vulnerability when delivered from a place of strength can be incredibly endearing, so can having excellent powers of observation, which you clearly have : ).

      Thanks Maya.

      Matthew x

  91. Marisol says:

    It almost feels like the Matt Hussey biopic that will one day come out (because you know there will be one), narrated by Stephen. I truly truly appreciate this.

  92. kish says:

    Thank you both Matt and Stephen-that was quite interesting. I am left wondering to what extent this was orchestrated as the younger brother “spilling the secrets” of the Big Bro, while indirectly praising him and his growth from a shy boy to a charismatic Guru;-)
    Not that it matters, really, I am glad to be able to get some insight into Matt’s secret of success. I wasn’t too surprised to read the content per se because we see politicians, actors-basically any socially successful person uses these techniques either naturally or deliberately. But it was certainly helpful to have it all in 6 concise points!
    Thanks guys!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I could tell you it wasn’t, but as you rightly say it wouldn’t matter anyway. If you are entertained, and you got value out of it, then Steve has done his job.

      Thanks for commenting Kish.

      Matthew x

      • kish says:

        Matthew

        I must appreciate you for 2 things

        1) that you (and Stephen) are taking the time to reply to every post here. Evidently, you’re taking our feedback very seriously. That’s great.

        2) that you are being real about your success. Too many times I have heard successful people say things like “I got lucky” or I was “discovered” because of their supposedly indisputable talent, smarts, looks etc. and that everything just “fell into their lap”. That’s BS. Sure, people DO get lucky and many times are promoted because of their innate talent but that is only part of the story. What I appreciate most in people is their struggle, determination and investment in themselves to improve. By doing this, you have shown that you are real, honest and accessible and not some high and mighty person who just charmed his way through life. This shows your humility and you willingness to share your secrets is very generous. Many people have a problem with doing that, in case they get trumped…or for whatever other insecurity they have.
        So thank you Matt and Stephen, again.

        • Stephen Hussey says:

          Thank you kish – I’m really glad to hear that so many people, like me, appreciate the work it takes on yourself to be able to achieve things in life. Like you say, determination and investment.

          Steve x

  93. AspieCatholicgirl says:

    I love you and your brother, Matthew. Sadly, things are not good in my family, and its kind of nice to see siblings so close even as adults.

  94. Jill says:

    So I have to share what happened this weekend. I was with a girlfriend when randomly we ran into one of her other friends and of course we all start talking and they were talking about the stresses they are going through and do you know what she said, “Have you heard of a guy named Matthew Hussey?” I said Um…yep only been trying to get him to mentor me for 2 years now. I also told her I stood up in front of 300 people and made a royal fool out of myself thinking he might think I’m somewhat serious doing something that bold but maybe not he hasn’t really said much. I even sent him so silly music video asking him not to forget my number. Not quite sure what else to do.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Jill!

      I appreciate you always commenting and how you’ve gone to great lengths to become more involved. When the time is right, who knows. Until then, remember that there are always many ways to be proactive, and many mentors. Keep your eyes open and you’ll see many more opportunities than you even realise.

      Matthew x

  95. Emily says:

    This is the most excellent content I’ve received from you yet! Many thanks to your brother who is a great writer and just did us a huge service. He writes so succinctly and reveals the secrets in a way that is easy to understand and put into action! Thanks so much guys!!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      He’s an amazing writer isn’t he! I always read his articles with a smile because he writes so beautifully.

      Thanks for leaving a comment Emily!

      Matthew x

  96. AspieCatholicgirl says:

    I already write down the stuff I’m going to say to my best friend.
    Maybe I should use the methods I use with my best friend with more persons than just him :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      It’s always useful to have in mind things you want to say, especially for important conversations. That’s why often people feel they are better when they send someone an email, because they get to prepare their thoughts; but we can do this in face to face interactions too!

      Matthew x

  97. Marisol says:

    I agree with your brother, this is priceless! Thank you for unleashing your evil genius secrets with us ;)

    I solemnly swear to put them only to good use.

  98. Sarah says:

    Had a quick flick through the PDF, can’t wait to go back and read it later- I LOVE these kinds of tips, I certainly hope there’s more where that came from!!

    A huge fan,
    Sarah

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hey Sarah,

      Well given the comments that I’m seeing in response to this already today my brain is already alive ideas for more content I want to bring to you guys.

      Matthew x

  99. Faith says:

    Hi Stephen & Matt! Love this and last weeks video. Really enjoying Stephens articles as well, love his erudite approach.
    -Faith

  100. Alissa says:

    Very wise brother you have! Thanks so much for sharing your secrets :) You are super naturally talented, but it’s good to know that even you have to do some prep. Thanks for making the rest of us feel human!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      I have to do A LOT of prep. But now it’s time to show other people how to do the same so they can do it too. It’s not just about preparation, it’s about doing the right preparation. I’m excited my brother finally turned me onto this subject.

      Thanks for being here Alissa!

      Matthew x

      • ana says:

        Hi, i’m a student from Italy and a big follower of yours and Stephen.
        It’s only a couple of months that i bumped at one of your videos Matthew but i think i’ve seen like every single video online going back till 2009, each day i’ve digged more on your blog… To the point my roommate thaught i was ”too desperate to get the guy” or ”obsessed over a blog celebrity” ( yeah that’s what she called you XD ).
        So, to make long story short, the reason why i was so interested on your work wasn’t only the relationship advice but it was somewhat my curiosity to understand, look closer and get to dissect what makes you so charismatic.. It’s something i’ve dove all my life observe, analyze, and isolate the patterns in human interaction dynamics… So somewhat i sensed there was a bit of a prep, and wanted to know more cause i’m interested in making my life better overall and having success with my carreer later on.. the way you are so successfull and positive, but balanced and adding value every single time!
        As a conclusion, i think Stephen was very wise and you did well to accept his challenge. I must add that revealing the fact that you’ve put much work and preparation to master this charisma should make your followers admire you even more both as a coach and as an example of determination and willpower. I doubt the existence of ”natural charisma” when it comes to success, but even if it does exist at some levell i still think that hard work, open mind, costant checking on feedbacks, being a realist overall and a hint of obsessing over our passions trumps natural charisma…
        Matthew Hussey i’m a big big fan, i keep spreading the word at my friends, pity most of them dont know english well.. Keep up with the good work, i wish i get to come to one of your seminars soon..
        kisses, ana from Bologna, Italy

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