A modern take on the ‘white handkerchief approach’…

A reader sent this in last week (thank you Joanne!) as ‘an alternative to the white handkerchief trick’.

I thought it was a fun video for a Friday, and so wanted to share it with you here today. Enjoy! And let me know what you think in the comments below.

(Read more about the ad here. Visit the director’s site here.)



Next time you see a guy you want to approach, how are you going to ‘drop the handkerchief’ and get into conversation with him? How can you apply the white handkerchief approach to modern life?


To get more ideas for how to do this, check out my online home-study programme The Man Myth. In it you will learn the A–Z of what men think, how to be ‘the chooser’ and not ‘the chaser’, and how to win him to your way of thinking. Check it out here.

My last two tour dates are Dallas (tomorrow – Sat May 11) & Seattle (Sat May 18). Sign up now!

If you have anything that you think the readers of the blog would enjoy, email us at blog@howtogettheguy.com and send in your suggestions.

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

32 Responses to A modern take on the ‘white handkerchief approach’…

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  1. Kelly says:

    Very cute. Asking men to take a picture of you and your friends is a good way to go. :) Very non-threatening.

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  4. Guadalupe says:

    Thanks for sharing such a nice thought, post is nice, thats why i have read
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  5. Liz says:

    I’m a Chinese and once lived in Shanghai for years! Absolutely adore this ads, so sweet and creative!!

  6. Clair Gordon says:

    I do this often. As a kid, my radio broke, and mum told me to take it to my bro, I said ‘He can’t fix it!’, she returned with ‘maybe not, but it’ll make him feel good that you asked.’ so, I’ve done this since I was 8 years old. A nice idea…fake a dead car battery at a public place…(maybe the gym, shopping mall lot, lift the hood up, and GUYS WILL FLOCK!!Ice-skating with friends… fall intentionally! Guys always want to help a girl up :) :) go to the shop, and look as if u wanna buy a chocolate/packet of crisps, and…’ooooh, no, I’m 10 cents short, can you give me 10 cents?’ guys WANNA look like the hero!!! :) Njoy!

  7. Anna says:

    I think I’m going to keep an eye out for cute guys when I’m shopping and then ask them for help getting something from the top shelf ;)

  8. karen says:

    I understand the idea of appealing to a man by needing him in some way. It’s just that often the ways a woman needs a man is not necessarily for everyday tasks. It seems as if appearing helpless is a “trick” if you’re not really helpless. And I don’t mean refusing help even if you can do it yourself, but appearing as if you cannot when you can. The dishonesty there is problematic to me.

    That’s not to say I never need support or aid in any area of my life, just not in very casual ways that wouldn’t be too intense to ASK for from a stranger or casual acquaintance.

  9. Elle says:

    Cute video. I have a weak wrist from a old childhood injury so I avoid buying bottled drinks because its a struggle for me to open them. I never thought of using it as an ice breaker what a good idea.

  10. MJ says:

    This video made me kind of teary-eyed…it was so sweet! If anyone has any ideas about other modern day handkerchief ideas, I’d love to learn about them.

  11. Dasha says:

    What if, after he opens the bottle, I say: “would you like to have that?” would he think that comment made him not seem so masculine anymore?

  12. A says:

    Uncle Matt, this approach is nice, but the I usually find, they may “open” it gladly and then that’s the end of that. It doesn’t proceed further and I don’t want to look creepy by proceeding further. What is a “proceed further” technique?

  13. Nofyah says:

    Very sweet. Shared!


  14. annabelle says:

    So cool! It just reminds me how creative we can be to start a conversation with someone. I always need a reason to start talking to someone. I mean it’s kinda cute if a guy just say “hello” out of the blue but I would feel so embarassed to do so :)

  15. Kathryn says:

    Thank you Joanne and Matthew.
    Heart-warming and romantic : ) x

  16. Christa says:

    Y’all, it’s meant to be cute :) Also, being a feminist does not mean that people still can’t be polite… If I couldn’t open a bottle, I’d definitely ask someone to help me!
    Remember something that Matt always hammers in at seminars: The woman who can’t do anything for herself; the independent woman who doesn’t want a man do to anything for her, because SHE wants to do it for herself; and the independent woman who KNOWS she could do things for herself, but it’s so much more fun to include a man in the process ;)


  17. alexia says:


  18. Nikki;) says:

    WOW~*.* Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE COKE^^~ It seemed like a great idea, but thennn I saw this through a feminist lens and yea….:)

    WHO CARES?!!!!??!!! I DOOOOO…. OH WELL:)

    Kawaiidesunee!!!! (Watashi wa nihonjin dewa arimasen^0^)

    P.S. I LoVE you<3 hehehe

  19. Joanne says:

    You’re welcome, Matt. :D

  20. Keira says:

    This is gorgeous!!!

    I think most people in the world have become so independent that it has decreased the amount we interact.

    I know if I want to find something out I go straight to the highest position around me.

    It’s been hard for me to make opportunities to ask for help when I am so used to trying to help everyone else and solve problems myself.

  21. Jacqueline says:

    haha, this is AWESOME!

    Love it. I tried the idea last week in the store, and it worked :)

    Thanks for your awesome blog Matt!

  22. Joy says:

    Brilliant! I learned something from this!

  23. CelesteK says:

    This is so brilliant! So simple, but it compels the women to reach out and ask for a simple favor, which makes the guys feel useful and masculine (“I have conquered the beastly soda cap! I have provided access to tasty refreshment!”). No expectations, just a brief interaction and opportunity for conversation to start.

    I love it!

  24. Mandi says:

    HaHa! That video is so stinkin’ cute!!! Have fun in Dallas! It’s an amazing city!!!

  25. Thirza says:

    Hi Matthew, i just love That video they Will never now That they did this. Bit they Will remember how they meth ;) i want That in our city too :)
    I just came by in this blog how amazing your show Ready for love is i just wanna watch every episode of it. I just soo loved it That i even sleep all Night because i wanna watch it till the end. I just love everything That your doing your advice just everything. I hope i find one day the one. Or Maybe i can make the move as well ( Learned from you ) but om 15 years old i have Time enough.
    I hope too see you one day in a live tour. I hope so please come to the Netherlands not Amsterdam but Heerlen ;)

    Thanks So Much for everything always believe in yourself ( :O That i’m saying this and i’m the one who never believe in myself let’s say i’m stll working on it)

    Thanks for everything love your blog just everything ;)

  26. Natasa says:

    That’s actually really clever.

  27. Karma Neff says:

    Matt, you’re in Dallas?! I’m in Houston the weather is crazy amazing here (mostly crazy today). You should come!

  28. Paula says:

    I do not want a corporation involved in my love life, thank you very much!

    • Mandi says:

      Seriously? As long as you found the love of your life, who cares how you found them who or what got you together?!

      • Joanne says:

        I agree. If no corporation should be involved- then wedding planners can’t exist!

        • Lisa says:

          well, I guess in the ‘how we met’-stories are a couple of corporations involved… it’s just that none of them seemed to have used this idea before for advertising. in the spirit of ‘mad men’, I think its a very clever marketing idea to stimulate the people’s desires for love!

  29. Ashley :) says:

    I’m so glad I checked your blog today! This is so ca-yute! I always enjoy hearing how people met, but that story would be one to pass on! My philosophy is go get what you want, not many people have achieved something by doing NOTHING- if you see a guy you are attracted to- GO GET HIM! Give him a compliment to get things rolling, anything, but don’t do nothing.

    One of my favorite quotes: “Sometimes what you are looking for comes when you are not looking at all.” If an opportunity presents itself, I don’t see why you shouldn’t go for it :)

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