Advice On Dating Older Men And How To Make It Work
First of all, let’s ditch the oldest myths in the book:
(a) Not every older man wants to settle down
(b) Not every younger man wants to date tons of women
Many women believe dating older men is the best way to go to secure commitment. Younger men have the stereotype of wanting to exercise their options.
The stereotypical male blueprint
Here’s the perceived standard blueprint for most men’s love lives:
- Stage 1 – Have a few relationships to get experience in their teens
- Stage 2 – Have a string of girlfriends and casual flings in their 20s
- Stage 3 – Maybe start to settle down in their 30s!
This isn’t every guy’s blue print, but it’s definitely a popular one!
However, stage 3 is by no means a guarantee. There are plenty of “older” men who have no intention of leaving stage 2 anytime soon!
So one of my major tips for dating older men is to drop the stop stereotyping. The truth is that it’s not about age, it’s about the personality type you’re dealing with.
When you meet a new guy, ask yourself three key questions to determine his personality type:
Question 1: How does he talk about his future?
First look at the way he speaks about his future.
What does he talk about regarding his career; what are his long-term plans? These have a lot to do with whether he is willing to commit.
If his plans are to travel the world and live in 10 different countries in the next 5 years you may find that doesn’t fit with your vision of commitment.
Question 2: Look at his past
You need to ask yourself this set of questions; what have his relationships been like? Why did they end?
You don’t need to ask these in a serious or interrogating way, you can just approach the subject casually. Just make sure you’re asking out of interest; no guy wants to feel like he’s being tested!
Question 3: Where is he now?
Finally look at where he is now. Why is he on his own and what’s the reason for that? Is he on his own because he is a strong guy and is happy to wait for the right person, or does he enjoy having casual flings?
You really can decipher an incredible amount from what a guy says even on the first few dates. Look at the language he uses, look at the nature of his life and see if yours fits in with your vision for your life.
If it doesn’t, ask yourself if your vision is something that you would be able to change and if it’s not, think seriously about how much time you can risk investing in this man.
Bottom Line: Don’t make foolish generalizations about age! Dating older men is not the easy answer to finding lasting commitment.
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