If you’re tired of endlessly swiping on Tinder and not being able to speak to that cute guy at the bar/party/bookstore (you know, in real life), here is your new weapon…

Matthew:

Hang on, Jameson.

Here we go…

Dog in the video.

That will make it do better, won’t it?

This video will do better, because you’re in it.

Even though, in real terms you’ve contributed nothing.

Alright.

Let’s get serious now.

No more animals in this video.

No more cheap ploys for engagement.

So let’s imagine Monkey’s at a bar, and this is a man.

We just did a Fast Track webinar so, I will use my audio equipment as a person.

Monkey is at the bar here.

Now, what Monkey’s afraid of…

What makes her anxious is if I were to go and talk to that person…

I’m making a big decision to go over there, and talk to them.

I’m now stuck here, in what could be a major rejection, or an embarrassing situation where I have nothing to say.

So what we wanna do is bring that down from a level eight of anxiety to a level four.

How do we do that?

We start seeing this as creating just a moment, instead of a conversation.

If Monkey is at the bar, and let’s say this is Jane.

Jane is the camera.

Monkey’s talking to Jane, and maybe this guy over here…

She spots him.

Says, “Mmm. Okay… ” Instead of going, Hi. How are you?

And now they have a big conversation from here which is now tough and awkward, and by the way, even if this conversation goes on for ten minutes.

Monkey might be wondering, ‘Does he like me?’ ‘Am I just imagining this,’ ‘or does he actually think I’m attractive too?’ Monkey doesn’t know, but what I’m about to suggest is gonna help Monkey know if he’s attracted, and reduce her nerves.

Wow…

So Monkey’s back at the bar.

Sees the guy…

Huh…

And Monkey happens to notice that he’s wearing pretty cool shoes.

So Monkey looks down, looks at him, and says, I like those shoes.

You have good taste in shoes.

And then she turns back, and talks to Jane.

She’s not really saying, “I like your shoes.”

What Monkey’s really saying is, “It’s Okay for you to talk to me.”

He now, if he likes you, can close down that space again, but this time it’s him closing down that space.

You close down space enough to talk to someone, but then you recreate enough space that they reinitiate.

When they reinitiate…

It’s like the dynamic’s reversed.

They’ve chosen now to talk to you.

It was a proactive decision to talk to you, instead of a reactive and passive state of simply being polite to someone who’s talking to them.

Go try that today.

I promise you, you won’t have no anxiety, but you’ll have a lot less, because you won’t be expecting so much from the conversation, AND you’ll get more reassurance that someone actually likes you when you break for a moment from the conversation, and they’re the one who reinitiates.

By the way, if you have a question that you wanna ask me on my next Fast Track webinar, maybe Monkey will make an appearance…

Go to AskMH.com, type in your question.

You’ll get a free trial to my membership, and we’ll see how it goes.

Maybe your question will get answered.

Even if it doesn’t, I’ll be answering lots of questions that are gonna help your love life, and we’re just gonna have a great time.

You should be a member ’cause it’s wonderful, and everyone loves it so much.

Jameson: Why is Monkey such a lush?

Matthew: Chuckles