4 Big Ideas That Will Change Your Love Life

Leave a comment telling me about a time you got rejected. What happened? Where were you? What happened? What did you say? How did it go down? Let everyone know about it and let’s start off the year with the freedom of being in a place where rejection is OK.

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

427 Responses to 4 Big Ideas That Will Change Your Love Life

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  1. Kelly says:

    For me the possibility and hope of what may happen or the excitement of a new journey in my life far outweighs any possible rejection. I would rather know and move on then wonder what may have been. I have never had any problem putting myself out there because the worst outcome is a ‘no’ and the best outcome can be amazing. I think the problem exists when you invest a lot of time and yourself into someone. At that point rejection can be difficult and feel very personal. But remember….as one door closes another one opens. This may be a digression, but I am Canadian and as Justin Beiber says in one of his songs…’there are 7 billion people in the world’. When I get discouraged I just think about that statistic! Isn’t it wonderful!!!! (my problem is knowing when a relationship is not right for me and when to move on…I don’t know what is realistic to expect from a partner)

  2. Sophie says:

    Hi Matt,
    Thanks for the tips! they are great.

    Okay, So I’ve been (sort of) rejected two days ago. I met a quy at a new years party. I was very atracted to him, even though he wasn’t realy my type of guy.
    So, we just decided to have fun just that night. I don’t usually do this often, but it can be fun when both people are expecting the same thing.
    The next morning I left after breakfast, I didn’t give my number, neither did he.

    Two days ago I got a text. Apperently he got my phone number via a mutual friend. The message said that i should expect anything from him, and that we should make a big deal about it.

    Huh!? that was sort of allready the plan.

    I know it is ridiculous, but I was totaly offended by this. It feels like a rejection some how. Maybe it is just my ego that got a little scratch. :)

    Perhaps it is not a real rejection, but I thought it might be a good addition to the list.

    Warm wishes! Sophie

  3. raya says:

    That is the best advise i heard for a long time, on to accept rejection and how to learn to cope with it, I was rejected few years ago by my best friend whom i fall for,it was a painful experience but i guess i learned how not to take things personally, people are people and human beings and we cant control others but only our action and reaction.
    Thank you
    lots of best wishes to you

  4. Ellie says:

    I’ve been rejected a few times now but it always seems to be in the same way. A guy will start to take interest in me and start flirting. I usually don’t have any feelings for them at first but as soon as their charm works and I think we might have something going, they change their minds and pretend nothing happened. I don’t believe this is me getting my signals wrong, especially because friends of these guys will tell me that he is interested.

    Has anyone else been through this kind of scenario?

    • jg says:

      this exact thing seems to happen to me time and time again… it starts out that im the one who is perhaps a little unsure, a little hesitant or perhaps not even attracted to the other guy.. yet he is the one who takes the time to win me over, or starts talking to me, starts showing interest, and i begin to feel there is real potential. i get to the point where im ready to let the relationship unfold as it will, and right about that time, the guy calls it off. this is what happened to me this past september, and to some extent just this past New Years eve. … so believe me, you are definitely not the only one. it sucks tho, and im struggling to understand this painful pattern myself.

  5. Jolie says:

    Dear Matt, Thank you for the video! x

    I got betrayed by my ex boyfriend of 3 yrs before he finally left me with other women and girls. There was alot of tenderness for each other, but I didnt trust him and ended badly. It was painful. We took time apart to move on. I miss him, i’ll keep in touch with him through messages casually. He’s attached but doesn’t love his current girlfriend. It’s been a year, I feel stuck and rejected, maybe its my imagination but i don’t think love is over btwn us. I hope to bring back trust, have a gd time with him and feel attractive again. At the same time, I do want to start this year fresh, to know what i want and to pursue it with joy and self confidence. What do you think and how should I deal with this situation? :)

    • Jolie says:

      I believe everyone deserves better. And it’s really not difficult for anyone to get attached. But the way to seek self confidence by a woman may be a little different than most men do. I want to be valuable and be exclusive esp being a woman. I really want to fall in love like a child, boldly again this year! Easy to say, not sure which way to go. Ive been thinking hard…!

    • VIC says:

      dear jolie, i have to reply to your post,as it really hurts me to even read this..
      sweetheart, this guy betrayed you and now he is with a girl, who he doesnt love(i doubt he tells her in the face, he doesnt love her)..
      i mean, come on, what does it say bout him? what kinda person is he?
      he aint honest, he doesnt value other people much, he probably isnt even a very happy human beeing, otherwise he would not be in a relationsship with somene he doesnt love..
      sweety, please, i dont know you, but i beg you, forget this guy! you want to be with someone honest and nice and someone, who has good values!! its a new year, spring is coming soon and there is plenty of amazin funny cool guys, who you could date n go for icecream and walks n movies..isnt this more exciting , then waiting for a cheater to dump his girlfriend…you have only one life, make the most out of it!!! otherwise one day, when you re 80 and look back, you totally regret how much time u wasted..love should be fun!! it should not hurt!! all m best wishes for you!! stay strong and before wastin time thinkin bout him, go out n buy new shoes or lipstick or somethin that makes you feel sexy ;)

      • Jolie says:

        Thanks VIC. You will never believe how silly it is for me, to let go of other opportunities, desired by other suitors who were very attractive and attracted to me. The hurt received makes me disoriented. It is unbelievable for one man who has won me over with his lies. This message (im grateful to) from you who do not know me, has to knock me out of my senses. I realize it is not only a woman with a complete life is attractive, she has to feel confident within, stronger to reject what’s not right and stand by it. It’s a new year, and it’s great to receive your message! Thank you very much.

  6. Korrin says:

    I’m 16 years old and I had my heart broken this last summer. I met this boy at a poetry read I was doing with my school, I was nervous and he came up to me and asked if I was ok. We started talking and walking and before I knew it I was falling for him. After I did my read he told me I was amazing and lots of other sweet cheesy lines followed. He never officially asked me out on a date but we hung out all the time, we were atracted to eacth other. I was hesitant about the love thing, maybe I just knew. But I would occassionally ask him, if he meant it when he would say “I love you forever.” He asked me to trust him, and I stupidly did. I trusted him with my heart and he threw it back to me over a telephone line “We need to just be frineds.” I was devestated. Later I found out he was using me and another of my friends to cheat on his long time girlfriend. Three months later, his girlfriend and him each send me a message announcing they’re engaged. he is 19 and she is 16. Well yesterday he calls me and says he just needs a friend, things aren’t working the way he thought they would with Lexi (Girlfriend he cheated on). I listened. He asked for advice on his relationship. Is it wrong that that really hurt? Is it wrong that I’m still not totally over him? Why does my heart still skip a beat when I see a message from him on my phone? I’m really not sure what to do. I know not to trust him anymore, but being the manipulative person he is it always starts with “I just need a friend.” Am I being an awful person, if I were to say “Find one somewhere else.”?

    The other thing, when he called me I told him we needed to meet and talk in person. I asked him if there was someone else… I’ve never felt so worthless or used as when he nodded and said “yes there is.” Did I do something wrong? Was I not good enough?
    It only got worse when I realized he’d been cheating with me. I feel like a horrible person, because I didn’t have all the facts.

    Any way, bottom line is he hurt me, and a close friend of mine in the same way, and he’s still playing with my emotions, so yeah, I’d say that’s regection. At least my run in with it.
    Any advice on how I should handle the situation would be welcome. I’m lost, confused and hurting. So please, any words of wisdom would be welcome.

    • Amanda says:

      . There Are loads of things you can do and spend your time thinking about than boys. Life belive it or not is far too short to be wasting your time musing over someone who is not into you – move on. Find a hobby and immerse your self init. Get to know you, your likes and dislikes. Love yourself. Go,to,the gym. Love your family. – he will come one day but don’t wait around for it. Keep busy.

    • VIC says:

      hey korrin,
      aaawwww, i can imagine you feel lost n totally awfull, but even if i m just a stranger, let me tell you something: this will pass sooo sooo quick..
      STOP blaiming yourself for what happened and, most important, stop thinking about it!!
      you are 16 now, so just “be happy” you learned that “game” already, this gonna save you from lots of tears in future..
      just dont think bout it as rejection or anything, just see it as a lesson in life..its not your fault, he probably is doing this with many other girls, and if it wouldnt had been you, it would ve been someone else..
      so stop thinkin it has anything to do with you, as its simply not your fault..
      but you know what is your fault/responsibility: to think this guy wants be your friend and still talkin to him.
      seriously, he is making you feel shit! and you are wasting your time, by listenin to his stories, on how things not work out with his girl.
      (to check how much he cares bout you, try the following trick: call him really late in evenin,or some weird unconvenient time, say your bike broke on way home(or whatever “emergency”), you re other side of town and really need a friend to come pick you up n drive you home..or somethin like that, i think u get the point here..).
      i had countless guys trying to get me into cheating on their girlfriends/wifes and all tell more or less the same story, they tell you how bad things goes with their gf, they tell you how misunderstood they feel, they kinda try to make you feel special, as if you would be the one, who actually understands them, its like a lil carrot they keep dangling infront of your nose, to give you the hope, they might break up n come together with you..but this never ever happens, they just do it to keep you warm, for the case their girlfriend gonna dump them, or for the case they just wanna sleep with you again..
      seriously girl, stop worryin , stop thinkin about him, stop anwsering his mails..you know, the best advice someone gave me once is: BEST REVENGE ON AN EX IS, IF YOU ARE FEELING FABULOUS N AMAZIN N HAPPY.. :)

    • Nina says:

      You said the following: “I’m really not sure what to do. I know not to trust him anymore, but being the manipulative person he is it always starts with “I just need a friend.” Am I being an awful person, if I were to say “Find one somewhere else.”?”
      My answer: NO!! You are not an awful person for choosing to stay clear of someone who is only using you. Matthew talks about “high value” and you are!! But you have to see it in yourself. You are complete all on your own. Your life can be fun, joyful, and fulfilling even if you’re single! You make the rules. You get to decide each day to be happy! You have the power to make your life exactly what you want it to be. Don’t wait around for someone else to fill a void you feel inside. Reach out to others around you whose challenges may be greater than your own, do the things that lift your heart, refine your talents, strengthen your weaknesses. These are things you can change. You can’t change someone else. You can only change you.

  7. Ivona says:

    Hey Matthew!!
    I’m 15 years old right now and I have my real crush for the 1st time. Sure, I liked boys before but it was never this serious. So, he is a senior and his name is also Matthew, and he is leaving this year. I hope something will happen but I know it won’t, so I’m getting rejected everyday a little bit but thanks on this video, I hope I’ll survive untill he’s gone :D Greethings from Croatia! xx

  8. CC says:

    The ultimate rejection – about 8 years ago, the man I was in love with, wanted to marry, and have a family with got a vasectomy. It goes without saying that I was devastated, and in a way, I still am. It took me a very long time to get myself free of him. And even though I did finally let him go completely about 8 months ago, I still think about him daily. I kept thinking he would see how wonderful I really am, and he would change his mind. I’m almost 45 now, and now I will never have a child. Rejection: the gift that keeps on giving. Forever.

  9. Nomie says:

    Hey Matt,

    thanks for all your posts, really enjoy them.

    i experienced rejection not so long ago. i met a guy on the net, we hit it off til we met in person. i was intimidated by him and it made the date kind’ve awkward. i’ve had a difficult time overcoming this as i blame myself for not being the bubbly, talkative person that i usually am. i have all these questions in my mind. was he not attracted to me in person, did i bore him to death?! we not on bad terms or anything, but i would’ve obviously liked for a happy ending. im doing my best to just do me…im feeling so uninspired…

  10. Magicka says:

    Well……actually I was with this guy for sumtime..l.but this got a little rough. I wasn’t reli attracted to him after sumtime…..but now I realise tat all i reli want is him to b by my side n for him to b with me through thick n thin…..I was so stupid to not realise tat before.n I have no idea on how to tell him bout my feelings towards him coz I’m scared that he might reject me.

  11. Marleen says:

    I’ve been dating a guy for 1,5 months, we committed since then for one more month and it became less and less fun (I was panicking most of the time, trying to use the get the guy techniques though :S) and we had a ‘serious’ talk but both of us were so nervous that we didn’t really really talk, but still decided to carry on the relationship and 2 days later he cheated on me. He texts me 2 days before new years eve saying he didn’t ‘behave’ at the Christmas party he was at. And later we spoke on the phone and he said maybe he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. Of course I said: you could have told me that earlier jerk. I was sad and angry, we texted back and forth, (both sending angry messages) and later he said that if I wanted to talk about it, we could meet up. But I didn’t I was just too sad and it wouldn’t change the facts anyway (plus all my friends said “don’t do it, he’ll only hurt you more or try to carry on with you, but you cannot accept”). So didn’t see him since then (kind of regret it because there are a tons of things I’d like to know, but it’s been 9 days now). It feels weird because I wasn’t so sure about him and that’s why I didn’t sleep with him at all, I wasn’t my best self in the later stages because I grew very insecure (he has a way better and active life than I do at the moment- I don’t even have a job…) and I wanted to break up a couple of times, but still I stayed, because he is handsome and attractive and intelligent and I wanted this to work. Even though I wasn’t madly in love I felt heartbroken when he’d cheated because that means he didn’t respect me. Plus when we sent each other angry texts he said: “You can’t blame me for not being in love with you” auch.. well I wasn’t in love with him either, but that was fine with me, because I’m afraid to fall in love. I’m afraid to get hurt and now it happened anyway. So this was my rejection. Any words of advice for the futur? Or how to deal with this? I miss him and I wish I’d meet up with him so I knew why he cheated, I don’t want this to ever happen again. Is it too late to call him and meet up?

    • Marleen says:

      plus he wasn’t just handsome, he also put effort into the relationship, cooked for me 3 times, took me out on fun dates (in the beginning). But later he stopped calling (even when I was sick for 3 weeks! But we’d still meet up once a week. I told him I’d love for him to call me more, but he didn’t. He later said that he doensn’t want to be pressured and meet my expectations.

    • Amila says:

      why didn’t u spend the new years with him??!!!! u were together… u were in relation, why didn’t u spend the night with him and had fun and went to the party together!!
      am afriad u didn’t “fully filled” him with u… so he had fun somewhere else :/

  12. brenda says:

    I guess you can say… I did the rejection before he could. Things were getting a little flirty with this guy at work. I would catch him staring at me alot. And he had no problem talking to me out of the blue. A lot of flirting on his half. Things were getting too emotional on my behalf. I transferred to another location. Mainly because I was scared of my feelings I had for him. I go back to this location every once and a while (to see my friends) and I would catch him staring at me again. But he would never come up to me and talk. I want to talk to him but I get scared of my feelings ( and I guess of the thought he might reject me now) so, I end up leaving without talking to him…then hate myself later.

  13. Ann says:

    Hi Matthew

    I must say that you are looking good and can’t believe that anyone has rejected you! Anyway I’ve been rejected recently. I go salsa dancing and the etiquette on the dance floor is that if anyone asks you to dance then you dance with them after the dance you say thank you and move on. I asked a guy to dance and he said no, I was a bit shocked as I was with a guy (a friend). He told me not to worry and led me away! When I go dacning I want to dance but some guys just stand there obviously eyeing up the talent so I don’t get asked to dance a lot! :( What are the tips for me to look as I want to dance and have a laugh but nothing else ? Ann

  14. Heidi I NAUEN says:

    Hi Mathew,

    I have been working with this guy at my job for over a year now. always flirting, and high-five me looking for reasons to be near me. some times he is very chatty and the next hour he won’t even talk to me. today when I got to work he smiled and said hows it going. this has been going on for so long now my friends think I shoul wait and see what
    happens.what do you think?

    Heidi

    • Amanda says:

      You have two choices. First ask him why he keeps staring at you, ask is it because he finds you so groundouts and has he ever seen anything like you in the world! Secomdly IGNORE HIM. Find someone else to flirt with, go to lunch with.

  15. sara says:

    Dear Matt! Hi, I have been in a realationship with someone who told me that i just want you for sex! he broke my heart! you know it is forbidden in my religion and my country to have sex before marriage! i really like him and have feelings for him but he just want sex and fun. what shall i do?

    • Nina says:

      What do you do? You RUN. As far as you can. Run far, run fast, and run now! This guy isn’t interested in you. He’s probably not even interested in your body. He’s interested in pleasing only himself no matter the cost and NO woman should EVER accept that. You are worth SO much more! If you need to do something, take care of someone who’s struggling more than you. Look outside yourself for opportunities to lift others around you. As you offer a hand to someone in greater need than you, your own pain will be lifted and you will find joy – real, lasting joy – in spite of any rejection.

  16. Avemaria says:

    Rejection:

    This happen a 3x years ago. I was not having a good day I nervous of serious situation I was going thru at the time. Well I went to work of course thinking of my situation I notice this guy in my check line that was quite handsome I thought he caught me checking him out literally. Well we could take our eyes of each other. Every time I was checking another customer out of my line he is staring at me but would not crack a smile as soon as he got closer like 2 customers away he cracked a HUGE SMILE. I knew the guy but my mind could not put the finger on it. Then I realize who it was. He burned a cell in my brain that was sooooooo strong I could get this guy out of my head. 2 months went by I did not see him so I picked up the phone and asked this guy out for a drink he said NO! he was attached ( I believe it was fabrication because he responsed with an um first and also took him a few minutes to come up with something. Yes he listen to me but he got a little upset and a MALE Friend suggested that I don’t approach him again let him come to me. That what I did but he NEVER came back to my line after that but he was alway watching me, primping himself when he walk past me. His body language will alway speaks volumes. But he never came over why! He stop coming in the store 8 months before he relocated to another state for a job. I notice he stop coming in a few my seeds stated the same thing they have not seen him he keeping low profile. When I did see him he was by himself.. After he left town someone told me that his pad was filthy and the stove was a mess. They were totally shocked because he is so well dress in the public eye he was soooooo POLISHED NEAT AND PUT TOGATHER NICELY…

  17. Mira says:

    Hmm.. I don’t know if this is rejection per say or if it’s just me. I’m a 26 year old student likes her 33 year old professor. In the beginning he e seemed to be friendly with me as in he would find a reason to talk to me and once he asked me if I need someone to talk to, I can always see him in his office. He would sometimes stare at me in class. Hmm.. few weeks ago he began to change, it just seems like he became irritated with me. He started avoiding talking to me. I sent him an email asking him for help on my assignment (I genuinely needed the help) and he replied back rudely.. I got the impression that he does not want to be bothered. He told me to pass by if what i wanted to ask him was very urgent so I went to his office the next day at the specified hour only to find out that he went home. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. What changed? Maybe I mistook his friendliness for something else.

  18. Alana says:

    Matthew, I want to thank you first for your newsletters. They’ve been a comfort to read and I learn something every time.

    I am 18 and am going to college right out of high school. I have been rejected by two separate guys. I’ll start with the first.

    When I was sixteen, I fell in love. Or “love” as I see it nearly three years later. This boy (let’s call him Simon) had been going out with a girl for a year. After three months of knowing me, he broke-up with her and rode his dirt bike out to my house. We talked and listened to the radio for the longest time. Then he kissed me and he told me he loved me. Enough said there. Fast-forward a year and he had broken up with me a good dozen times, all through text. Each time he came back, and each time I accepted him. By the last time he had rejected me, I had an interesting collection of information. Simon had been messing around with my best friend (at the time), a girl who was dating his best friend. For months, when Simon would come to visit me, he would make stops at houses of other girls and get “attention” from them. The reason I “got the message” the last time was because he had his best friend (yes, the same one mentioned earlier) curse at me and told me to basically get passed it. And I have. I wish it hadn’t happened, but at the same time I’m glad. I have grown a lot since and have become smarter, pickier. I don’t want to go out with a guy just to feel wanted; I want to go out with him because I want him, too. My relationship with Simon was the longest relationship I’ve ever had, and the only real one. In short, he was my first and only everything. I haven’t been kissed since.

    Last summer I spent at an art program. The first person I met was a guy in the film department. The next four weeks were spent doing my work, making new friends, and seeing this guy every day. The film department would have viewings of films, and even if he knew our schedules conflicted, he always invited me. Whenever we had free time, there was a good chance we could be found together. This stood true even after he told me he had a girlfriend and never had feelings for me that way at the end of week one. I can’t tell you how long I spent bitching to my roommates about it that night. But I got past it and kept in mind we were just friends. I could have hated him for making a clear move while having a girlfriend, but he told me how things were, and that much I could respect. Still, though, my roommates said he was clearly flirting with me, but I ignored them, even when I was dancing with a friend and he cut in, I still ignored them. It wasn’t until the day after the program was over and all had gone home that he text me, telling me he had broken up with his girlfriend and missed me; he confessed he had always had feelings for me. Long story short, he said he would make the three hour drive to see me, never did, and got a girlfriend, someone who went to the same program. They’re still together, and though I don’t feel that way for him anymore, I still loathe their Facebook updates. So I let go of the one guy I felt a connection to since Simon.

    It’s a New Year and, as custom, I came into it alone. I never know when a guy is flirting with me and haven’t gotten a guy I wanted to ask me out since “Simon”. With your help, Matt, I would like to change that.
    Happy New Year, all.

  19. Jenna says:

    The first rejection that came to mind was when I went dancing with some people new friends. One of the girls knew a guy at the bar so he came to say hi. I thought he was hot so when he introduced himself I think if may have exuded an extra eager greeting. It wasn’t long before I got the feeling that I was being avoided and it continued for the rest of the night. He seemed to be into the other girl anyway. I’m fine with that. What was most upsetting was that he didn’t even want to talk to after that.

  20. Katherine says:

    Hi Matt, rejection has always been my nemesis. In order to make rejection my friend i will have to become even more confident so that my ego will have a level playing field.:)

  21. Celine says:

    I had met a guy I really liked, after a few years of being out of a serious relationship. I decided to take a chance and asked him out on a date – things went considerably well. We went on a few more dates after that, and I was quite pleased with myself since I normally am hesitant to take chances! When things started to get a little more serious he told me over coffee that he wanted to keep seeing me, but not actually “see me”.
    I haven’t heard from him or spoken to him since.
    I don’t regret though, if I never took the chance, I would’ve never gained the confidence to take more chances! You give great advice, thank you for sharing it!

  22. Sonia says:

    Happy New Year Matthew,

    Thank-you for the tips, I have all these resolve to make in 2013 but I haven’t really done anything different to what I would normally do yet…. How will the results be different? Keyword YET..

    Rejection ah good old rejections I love the angle that you have taken on rejection, but I don’t think taking rejections well is as simple as that, sometimes you are in relationship or in persuit and you hit the wall, its not going anywhere, other areas of your life are solid, you get mad, hate on him with the girls & couple of drinks. You move on its fine. Then there are other times of your life where other areas of your life not so great but relations they are great, the happiness, the connection, the joys then BAM. It’s over!!! It started with “I wanna go to Australia but we can stay in touch” which became… well it became nothing. It ended. Why end something so great? V painful experience, which left me struggling to piece my life back together. It literally feels like starting from ground zero. You look at yourself you wanna make changes so that next time it will be so much better, but inside well lets just say my heart just not in it. It is hard to keep going/ motivated. It has been 9 months since and it still feels raw. Aaragh!!!!

  23. Kiran says:

    Me and this guy met through a friend. I wanted to sing for a show and needed an instrumentalist (I hate it when there’s a pre-recorded CD in the background), so my friend suggested a guy she knew that played piano. I instantly took a liking to him. Soon enough he asked one of my close friends out, who knew I liked him, and she said yes… and then took me dress shopping with her for the date. After not even a month this friend of mine made the excuse that she had to get her priorities (work and school) straight and wanted to leave this guy, who I had now become best friends with. Within a week, she was with another guy. A few months passed and I decided to tell this guy that I was interested in him. He barely said anything but an awkward “Oh..”. So that’s my story of rejection, if you can call it that. We’re still best friends.

    I guess it’s just not meant to be. I’m hoping to start this year on a new fresh foot. He’s still my best friend and I hope he always will be, but I’m not going to wait around for something I know isn’t going to happen. I think this year instead of focusing on my love life I’m going to try and focus on doing things I enjoy. If I get lucky along the way, great, if not, I’ve still got time to make things work. I really shouldn’t be too worried about getting into a relationship. Just in case anyone is wondering, I’m 18 so I have LOTS of time. Good luck to you all and I wish you all the best in your love lifes for 2013. Most of all, I hope that you all make some good mistakes!

  24. Karine soheme says:

    Happy new year Matt! Keep up the good work handsome xx :)

  25. Alondra says:

    I guess I won’t talk about recent rejection, but the worst one. There was this guy who was my best friend and who, for some time I was completely certain he was the love of my life.

    Things were complicated cause he had a girlfriend, who was abroad at the time and a lot of things started happening between us. Ok, it was wrong, but it hurt all the same when he decided to get back together with her.

    I am still not quite over that even though it’s been two years. But this is a new year and I am feeling totally diferent towards my love life, thanks to you Matthew. Have a great year you too!

  26. Tracy says:

    MY complicated recent Rejection: I was taking a language course and on the last week I met an awesome, confident guy named Tim. Tim seemed to be very flirty with some of the other women, but I took Matthew’s advice and took control of the situation. I asked him to sit next to me and we started to talk more and more during the week. As the course ended we kept in touch through text messages and facebook. Tim seemed perfect and finally told me that he felt attraction for me. I pretended to give myself more value (and i was scared that he had many women) and said that maybe we should stay friends. However the more I thought about the situation the more I realized that he might be the one. So, the next day I confessed my real feelings but there was no real response. Maybe he thought that I was playing with him, but our conversations shortened and his replies became more delayed. Later I confronted him about this and told him that this situation made me upset. He later did not talk to me for roughly a week and later asked me if I still liked him, when I replied no out of disappointment of the course of the relationship and humiliation (although it was a lie) our conversations ended and he found a girlfriend with in the next week. My peers tell me that he was a player and is not very committed, but sometimes I still think about him and find myself doing things for him (as in trying to appear better -working out, finding clothes he might like…) This happened about a month ago and today I feel loads better, but am still confused.

  27. Sienna says:

    My most recent rejection was with this guy that I met at a debate tournament in long beach. We were both in the team and I just transferred to that school. Any who we starting talking right away and we had the best friendship. He wanted to know everything about me. and during the time my boyfriend and I were having mis-communication problems and we were both quite angry with each other especially since he went to New York for three months while I was still in California so we couldn’t see each other to work our problems out. So eventually since this guy clearly had feelings for me I decided to break up with my boyfriend and go with the new guy. For about a month it was flying and cool he took me out on a couple dates than I started hearing some very bad things about his reputation which worried me so I talked to him about it. He didn’t deny any of them and he told me the truth on what happened and why he did it. So I thought that since he was being honest we got a closer connection. Than for about a week he completely ignored me and treated me like just a friend and I played along with it after he decided to get flirty again and I simply didn’t care for it so he stopped talking to me than I felt like I made a mistake so I called to see if he was free to talk and he said no and the next time I saw him he was with another girl. It stung for a little while but I got over it pretty easily since I wasn’t invested to deep anyways. I did learn tho with my boyfriend and him that I shouldn’t be to hasty to make quick assumptions about people based off of what i heard. A month later me and my boyfriend finally talked out everything and we started dating again, since its been a few years together we decided to try again and we’ve been a lot more understanding of each other and we actually listen more than just argue before actually analyzing the situation so I’m pretty glad that all happened. One thing I always think about after a rejection and even a break up is what I can take from the relationship or fling that’ll prepare me for the next one so i cant say I regret any of it. :)

  28. Emily says:

    Hello Matthew, my name is Emily. I’m eighteen and I won’t lie, I’m fairly new to relationships. I have, on the other hand, taken your advise from day one and I’ve found a guy that is very interested in me. I have been in relationships before and lost them all by allowing them to rush into things too quickly. I like to take things slowly and I remember in one of your messages that you told us to take it by our own pace. I am now taking your tips and putting them to good use (and when you say that it can work in a week you’re right!)! Thank you for the advise so far, and I hope this friendship blossoms into a beautiful relationship down the road.

    As for the bad breakups… I can only think of one. I was dating a young man who I thought was my everything. It was quite honestly that “first love” kind of partnership. We had been together for six months and we “loved” each other… or at least that’s what I was led to believe. He told me that he loved me and then out of the blue he started ignoring me. He rejected my calls, didn’t message me back, and avoided me at all costs. I left him one message asking him to please explain this odd rejection that he was pulling out of the blue and he responded with “Ask Carlie.” My first reaction was… ‘…okay… he’s cheating on me with Carlie, or he’s committed a crime and doesn’t want me to know about it’; being the stubborn girl that I am I waited… and waited… and waited. Finally, after three weeks of crying myself to sleep and allowing myself to think of sooo many possible things that he could have done to betray me, I called up Carlie and just begged her to tell me what was going on. I didn’t ask her about the possibility of a secret relationship just, “what’s going on?” She explained to me that he had been talking to another person behind my back. I was crushed. The entire time she was explaining the situation to me I was thinking, “who is this girl??” After what seemed like an eternity she told me that this person lived on the other side of the world. After a few more questions she said, “the name is Uros.” He had dumped me *without even telling me about it* and started dating “the MAN of his dreams” from halfway around the world. That’s right… I got dumped for a man that lived in Ukraine. I confronted him about it the next day and told him if it wasn’t meant to be he could have confronted me and not used my friends. Who in the world used a girls’ friend to break up with her?? I would have rather him tell me than make me believe he was cheating. … that’s the worst that I have. Right now I’m living life to the fullest, enjoying the presence of my best friends, my Senior Year, and my soon to be graduation. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I look forward to your next message and reply! :)

    • Jill says:

      Emily, my name is Jill and I have had quite a few friends who have gone through this same thing personally I have not and have to admit for me it would be a relief. It’s one thing when it’s another girl but when he’s into dudes it’s kind of hard to compete. So glad you have such a wonderful outlook on life:)

      • Emily says:

        Jill, I know! I don’t blame him though… the guy was pretty attractive. I just wish he wouldn’t have been such a snake in the grass about it. My theory is, “let it be”… like the song. :) If it wasn’t meant to be, let it be. I know people come and go, but I try to keep a little part of them all with me and I tend to stay friends with my exes. He and I are best friends now, and I couldn’t ask for more, he’s happy now and I’m happy now.

  29. Trisha says:

    Hi Matthew, great video. I recently got rejected (I think). I had a crush on my good friend since college but he never shows any interest in me or anyone else. However, he told me that out of all the people he met from college, i’m the only one he still talks too. So I confessed and ask him if we’re reaching 30 and stable, would there be a chance we can go out. I thought that was a hint. Then he wrote back and told me “patient is virtue and I have faith we’ll find our way without rushing into any set condition. live day by day with the flow”

    I know in my heart that is a “no”, doesn’t matter how he try to word it nicely. But I’m glad I did ask. Because now I know that i can stop wondering what could have been.

  30. Linda says:

    How can any girl reject you :S.. my goodness… :)

  31. Suzanne says:

    I am a full time college student surrounded by guys who pretty much just want to party hard/no commitment. I was on winter break last year and felt like sparking a conversation on facebook with this guy that does choir with me at school and we ended up hitting it off and started texting everyday. Mind you, we really had never talked in choir in person in the past. but we just started texting daily and i was just so into him and he was definitely into me too, he made it blatantly obvious. so we were all excited to go back to school for the new semester and hang out which we did. we had a thing for like a week maybe two then all of a sudden he stopped trying to contact me and i was pretty upset. so i finally asked him what the deal was and he basically said “i know, i’m sorry, it was just different dynamic face to face.” I was heartbroken because i really thought we had hit it off after actually hanging out in person. That was a pretty big rejection and i still feel like i’m always being rejected by him because he’ll be all charming to me but nothing will ever happen. rejection sucks!!!! but you now have me looking at it in a different way. my friend and i have been using your advice constantly lately. thank you for everything!!!

  32. Michelle says:

    There are two instances that stick out for me:

    One a guy rejected me because I called him out on fliting with a waitress.

    The other was when a guy rejected me just because I told him that I didn’t drink!

  33. Kelly says:

    Hmmm very recently rejected….I met this guy on my birthday – drop deal gorgeous, an A&F model. We instantly hit it off, he later texted my friend who had invited him that i was beautiful, smart, charismatic etc, He started talking on the phone, he was like ‘I haven’t felt this way in a very loong time’ was counting the hours to our date. Our chemistry was electric. And then last minute he calls to reschedule – I was hurt, told him I’ve never been ditched before and its not a good feeling. We had become fb friends, I wanted to delete him, but he’s still a friend. I have chosen to take the higher road. I have had two really cute guys ask me out since then and I’m gone out, but my heart still secretly longs for him. I’d posted pics from NYE with a hot guy and I saw him post status after that like ‘Keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart’ etc I wonder if it’s directed to me.
    My sense of value and worth doesn’t come from him, so I’m still thankful for how my heart had come soooo alive, even if for a brief moment in time….

  34. J says:

    Last year, I met a guy on Halloween night at a party. We chatted, got to know a little bit about each other and I (at least) became quite attracted to him. He ended up coming over to my place and we talked more, and we soon became tired (it was around 2am) so he left with a kiss goodnight. A few days later, (we exchanged numbers) I texted him asking if he wanted to meet up for lunch. No response! Till this day, I still can’t figure out what went wrong! We had similar interests, he left with just a kiss (which is how it should be on the first “date”). I’ve never felt more rejected! I still see him around on campus, and only once did he say hi – but otherwise it has been awkward! I actually ended up seeing him at a party about a month after Halloween, and I went up to ask him to dance, and he literally pulled out his phone and started texting… not even a “no”! That’s when I realized this guy is not worth my time.

  35. Lourdes Valencia says:

    Well. I was rejected with the guy who supposed to leave country to another one and didn’t went (because of work, etc, etc) BUT NOW he’s dating someone else and then I turned to be in a “very special dearest good friend”…I don’t know how I ended up that way…but that’s the situation…and he hasn’t called back again.

    Even if I’m a “good friend”.

    Thank you for the tips. :) I’ll apply them.
    Lourdes.

  36. Linda says:

    I managed to be rejected 5 times in the last year and for every time it felt better and better. Not because I didnt like the guys, i really did. Everytime I took a chance on love I opened up myself and I let myself be vunarable. And eventhough nothing really came out of me being honest at those times I could feel myself grow stronger and not taking the rejection as personal as I have in the past. They didnt say no to me because Im not worth it as a person. They said no because of their lack of understanding of what I have to offer as a person, Or because what we wanted in life was different. Being honest about my feelings helped me save time. It helped me invest time in where It should be invested- in me and in people around me that appriciated in ways that these men wasnt open to do. Thanks for this challenege Matthew. This is something I believe in alot. Ive been rejected more times this year than ever before but life has also never been better. Every rejection is less time spent on the wrong man and one step closer to being able to meet the one that will be worth it all.

  37. Alex says:

    I made the stupid decision to ask someone out by text because I was too chicken to actually say it their face. I think I knew before I even sent the text, but he said that he only liked me as a friend. Men see me as someone they can only be friends with but never lovers. Anyway so I realized that he didn’t like me and got over it pretty quick, but then the same thing happened to me again later. It was with a different guy but I got friend-zoned again! I’m now learning from your videos what I need to do to become more of a girl who guys will love and not just like. Your tips have been so helpful. Well hope you have a grand new and can’t wait to see more videos.

    xx

  38. Elizabeth says:

    Hi Matt! It’s been a while since I last left a comment on one of your videos. One of the rejections, because Lord knows there have been many, that I’ll talk about here was one that happened recently. I was finally ready to get into a relationship with this one friend who I always secretly felt had feelings for me. It took me almost two years to realize I felt the same way. We told each other how we felt about each other and then we were going to talk things over about where we stood. Unfortunately, that never happened because he realized that he there were things he had to handle in his life and including me in it would be too much. I really believed that I could be vulnerable with this guy and that I could just open myself up to him. That was tough because I was ready to put my heart on the line and include someone in my own life other than family and friends. I completely avoided him for some time and then started talking small with him once again. The most I realize now that I can part with is a friendship and I’m happy with that. I learned so much from the experience though: I now have a much better understanding of what I want in a relationship and in a man. There is a part of me that wonders still what could have happened though.

  39. Samantha says:

    Thank you so much! This video was exactly what i needed :D
    I was rejected recently by my ex boyfriend, when he told me he didnt feel the same about me anymore….What I do about it? I told him that I couldnt be with someone who doesnt love me back, but it kills me ever since… I lost the ilusion, the motivation,inside me I think it was all my fault…. I feel frustrated because I put all my effort to this man, I fall in love with him and he did the same, he told me he love me and that…, and now everything is gone D: …. I have never deal with rejection, this is my first time D:, it hurts alot …. Dont know if I should try something to bring him back, or just move forward :/

    Thank you again, you are a blessing :D

  40. Her says:

    Non-rejection is the worst. Obviously mutual feelings, he keeps talking to you for a long time in an almost relationship way, asks you out but turns flaky. To guys: Scared? Man up. Saying nothing about what happened in your head does not make it easier.

  41. sara says:

    Hi Mathew,

    Great advise! Thank you so much! I really enjoyed all your videos. I was rejected recently for a guy that got closed to me in a romatic way. After a few months, he wanted me to be his roomate. Since, we didn’t have nothing officially I thought about and didn’t respond quick. A month later and after still been in contact with me he told me that he has a girlfriend with a daughter living with him and if I still wanted to be his rommate. I was devastated and told him not with her. He even had the never to asked me to babysit his daughter so he can go out on new years with his girlfriend. I told him that I have plans but my heart was broken. :( I am having the worse time getting over him. I wish this year meet someone amazing that makes me look forward.

  42. Ella says:

    At university, I was attracted to a guy and we were getting along really well. After a month, there was additional e-mailing and I discovered that I ‘felt more positive’ for him, while he discovered that I like food very much. Since we were from another race and culture, I offered him a chance to try some of my favourite food. He agreed, but he never showed up. I was furious! Wanted to hit a bowling ball towards his head! But I knew that we were busy, having a thight schedule before and after the set time, so I just left after five minutes.

    I expected him to apologize and explain things to me afterwards and try to make it right, since it was polite behaviour of me. Well, time faded away and he did not! Well, I did not bring up the issue myself either; because if he say sorry because I asked him to, then it would not be sincere to me. So every time we spoke, I actually wanted to kill him (of course, not really!).

    After 3 months, I heard nothing from him. But accidently I found out that his DVD’s were in her house and that she had to return it. She was just an acquaintance of me. Although I was furious and jealous at the same time (screaming in my mind how his DVD’s ended up at her place), this did not made me feel rejected. Although it confirmed my intuition that I had before; that he was attracted to her. I felt so stupid, I was just a 2nd choice. After a while, the girl said that they contacted minimal, and that he only wanted to speak to me, that she was just passing gifts from him to me. So I assumed that he was indeed interested in me as well.

    After several months again, I got so furious that he yet did not say sorry. So I pushed him to, he was denying the agreement and said not planning to apologize. I mean who does this?! After some time again, I found out there was a girl who he had a crush on for year(s). And that they worked together at the same department as his’ in the quiet period, before and after the period when he was saying sweet things to me.

    AND NOW I GOT IT: I was indeed his 2nd choice, but the acquaintance was not before me. She was number 3, I was number 2 and YET another girl was number 1! This was not even the rejection to me, but this: after 9 months, through the phone he told me not to call him anymore while he was the one saying sweet things to me, he was the one asking me in the past whether I was single, he was the one giving me gifts. I mean, he did the move, I did not force him to! I mean you cannot make people fall for you and then just leave whenever you want! Or am I just from another planet?

    I was soooo astonished by what he had to say that I was just speechless, there was only an ‘okay’ coming out of my mouth and the phone was hung up. Now, I wish that I’ve said who he think he was.

  43. Jackie says:

    Hey Matthew, Jackie again, just remembered a rejection I had a few years ago.
    I met a guy for a date ( from a dating website) and I really liked him, we got on well, chat was flowing, and a ‘hey yes, let’s go and see xxx’ opportunity came up. So we said goodbye and I waited and waited and after about a week I sent an email saying ‘do you still want to go to see xxx?’ and he said he’d met someone else.
    :-(
    It knocked me for six, I’d only just started dating and it had taken a lot of courage to start dating after the last breakup.
    That rejection hit me hard and really put me off, but I see now that if I’d had a different attitude towards rejection, a ‘ah well, whatever….. what’s my next opportunity?’ type of reaction, I maybe would have picked myself up, dusted myself off and gone on to the next date with a little experience under my belt.

    thanks Matthew, I’m learning already
    what would we do without you? Looking forward to the book.
    Jackie

  44. Desiree says:

    Hey, Mathew!
    First I just wanted to say thanks for all great advice. :) It’s really helped me a lot.
    I think this is worse: but I’ve actually NEVER been rejected. It’s because I’ve never actually taken a chance. :( But ever since I’ve been watching your videos, I’ve realized something about myself. I have to work on ME before I can work on a relationship. :) But I am happy to report that thanks to your help I believe this is the year. LUCKY 13!
    I’ve been crushing on a really good ‘friend’ of mine for a while now and I’m ready to try to get out of the ‘friend-zone’. Thanks so much.
    Even if I get rejected by her, I will still be able to ask other people. :)

  45. kim says:

    after dating for 4 months including other hot stuff,hahaha.everything was going sooo great,till he decided to come and tell me,he knows how woman are,and he cant commit to me 100%.
    my answer was okay,and i didnt contact him,i was over it.till he started to contact me again and wanted to see me,which i agreed but told him,i dont want everything to be about s.e.x.he tried the first time i saw him again and i said,no.my mistake was sending him an email asking him if he didnt want to date me.to which he didnt give me answer..which lead me to be confused.so now he keeps on staring me when he sees me,and he looks happy to see me.then i send a message,which he also doenst reply.THAT WAS A YEAR AGO.i want my rejection,damn it.i wanna move on,i am a greatt woman,not only beautiful but i have a lot going on,i dont wanna live like this.i feel stuck,i dont want any hope.thanks for reading.

  46. Jackie says:

    Hi Matthew!
    I don’t have any rejection stories because I’ve never ever had the confidence to go for a guy I liked. I’ve never even known HOW to ‘go for’ a guy and I’m now getting on (47) and still don’t have an idea of what to do or the confidence to do it. I’ve always ended up with guys who had an interest in me, never guys I’ve liked.
    I’m very scared of rejection so your idea of preparing for rejection is very interesting so I’m going to try it out, it might just work.
    2013 is the year when I come out of hiding and summon up the courage to go dating again. Bring it on Matthew, I want to learn all you have to share!

    Thanks
    Your eager student
    Jackie
    :-)

  47. Steph says:

    Here’s my experience with rejection:
    It was back in my junior year of high school and i liked this one guy and he seemed to like me too… or i thought he did and so did some of our mutual friends… he even slow danced with me at our winter formal and stayed with me over half the night though him and one of his friends when as friends. So as the year went on we were both flirting so because for valentines day i was giving candy to all my friends and he saw that but trying to be kinda nice and flirty i was like “here, i gave everyone one else one but you can have two”, and later that day he texted me being like “I know you like me but i just don’t feel the same way, sorry” So i think that was my worst rejection. It was hard to understand because to everyone around us it looked like he liked me too. Can you explain this to me? Thank you!!

  48. Beatriz says:

    Hey Matthew! Happy new year!!

    Well, this is the very first time that i am commenting on one of your videos. I really want to thank you because of this one though. It has really motivate me to have a better love life this year. I experienced rejection a couple of months ago. I come from a latinamerican country and i moved to Australia at the beginning of 2012. I became very close friends with a colombian guy and since we both speak spanish i guess it was easier for us to connect and get along. He is the flirty kind of guy, and i could figure that out immediately. However, as time passed he would text me the whole day everyday. We started dating, and he would take me to nice and romantic places just to talk and spend time with me. Before He came to AU he broke up with his girlfriend and was still trying to get over it. after a few months, he told me that he didn’t feel the same about her and that he was sure of it. He started to get very jealous if i spoke to other guys and he would always check my phone. Later on, he started playing hot and cold with me. Honestly, i got tired of not knowing what was going on so i decided to tell him i like him before he went for holidays to his country. He was very nice to me and found the best way to tell me that he only wanted to be “friends” with me. I agreed with him because i care about this guy so much that i still want him in my life at least as a friend. However, the fact that he acted as he wanted something more made me angry and it still hurts. He’ll be back to AU in a few weeks. during all this time that he’s been out he has texted me almost everyday but i still don’t know what’s going on. So i think is better to move on and find someone new :)

  49. Christina says:

    Hi Matthew,

    thanks for your awesome blog and the fast track to mr. right course :) You’re really a people specialist!

    The rejection that hit me hardest is a few years back, when I was 18 and shortly before I started studying at a university away from my hometown. A “friend” of mine who was 4 years older and who I’d had a crush on since I was 15 invited me to his birthday party as usual. He also studied in the same city as I do now. I had never gotten anything more than friendly attention from him, but then one of his friends started flirting with me at the party. My friend got really jealous to the point of making his friend go home and trying to keep me away from him. We then made out. After that, I took the bus from my hometown to the university town to visit him for the weekend a few times. He picked me up from the train station, showed me around, surprised me with little gifts and showed me how to register with the university.
    After a few visits and ambigous to no response at all on his side when I asked what exactly our relationship status was, I put him on the spot and told him to tell me what he wants right now, even if it was no. He told me “Well right now I don’t know what this is, but it’s definitely not a relationship.”
    That hurt really badly, but I liked the guy as a friend so much that we started talking again after a few weeks. He was always a really sweet and reliable friend, even though it took me a few more years to completely get over him.

    The experience also taught me a lot about how to spot and avoid damaged guys, and about how not to drive off any guy by coming on too hard (I guess).

  50. Bella says:

    I got rejected at many an acting audition for being too tall!
    But luckily the modelling world saw this as a good thing and accepted that.

    I’ve been rejected by several amazing men.
    That was an ego wound! Tail between legs :( ouch

    I’ve rejected myself – that was awkward! Didn’t look in mirrors for a good few years.

    But luckily all that has been rejected in the past, has later been accepted by somebody or something else more amazing and of more value in the future. ;)

    Good luck with rejection everyone!

  51. Lisa says:

    I was dating a man for a month. Things were going well and then I noticed changes. He was moving into a new place and asked me to stay with the first night. The night before, he told me there would be no sex that night and I pressed the issue and ask him why. He told me that he wasn’t sure he wanted “this to become a relationship.” I said okay and we talked about it a little while. Then, he told me to give him a week and I said okay.

    A few days later I called him and told him that the week idea would not work for me and and he either wanted to be with me or he did not. He told me he felt our chemistry was too strong to give up, so we went out one more time.

    That last outing was not good. He looked like crap (didn’t try to look go at all), was tired and just not fun to be around and I found my attraction to him had diminished significantly. Things did not go on from there, and I have since realized that I wasn’t that into him in the beginning.

    I am working on listening to myself more and trusting my instincts, as they are always good.

  52. Eloisa says:

    Hello Matt! I just found you few days ago on Youtube when I was looking for men body language and I can tell you that I just fell in love with your videos (they are really inspiring!). Well, I just was about to get marry last year, I bought the dress, and set up the marriage date and then boom! we decided to break up I came back to Brazil and he got in U.S. it took me 1 year to be healed (not completely)he still keeps emailing me and very curious about my life. he tells me he always want to be in touch, I really don’t get that! I “m actually much better now but I think hard about it I feel so stupid, however, every single woman in the world will fall in love with him because he is handsome, romantic and sensitive man that all women dream about. Anyway, sad love story, but I fell free now and I see it wasn’t meant to be! Matt when do you come to give us a seminar in Brazil????? Waiting for you, take care and Thanks for all the advices! :) ohh PS.: HE’S COACH too!

  53. Adrienne A says:

    The great part about rejection is that you attempted something! So it is two fold… a woman or man gathered the guts to try something… they did… it was either embraced or rejected at lease they tried =)

  54. Dana says:

    Well, rejection is the most concerning problem when it comes to making a move… I have a new neighbour, actually a very attractive and clever guy, but I am not sure what would happen if I asked him out or if it is my duty to do so as a girl. The concept of value is also an important issue, thank you for drawing my attention to that, because I think that lack of self-confidence and being afraid of rejection are closely connected. Anyway, I have never been rejected, only because I don’t usually try to contact with guys.

  55. Ruta says:

    Hey you!!!

    One time I got rejected was a few years ago. There was this singer in Germany that I immediately got hots for. So after the concert I got up to him, said some compliment about his voice in german and continued in english… I basicaly asked him out, but he said that he had a girlfriend etc. We still talked about ten minutes and I was so happy that I still got to meet such a nice no bullshit guy. We sometimes still chat online. Anyway, never tried coming up to a guy since(even though I’m not afraid), but for my recent weight gain, but that a different story :) Thanx for reading!!!
    Ruta from Lithuania

  56. Sarah says:

    Hi Matthew, your post comes in such a good timing!
    I got rejected last week. My dad was in hospital in the last few months and while I visited him regularly after a while I noticed one very handsome doctor. We never had a chance to really talk as I was there with my whole family most of the time while he did his job. Still when I saw him he always had a big smile on his face and even my mum noticed that he might be attracted to me. After my dad left the hospital I was devastated that I wouldn’t see the doctor anymore.
    Then I found him on facebook (I’m not a crazy stalker!) and decided to send him a message last week to wish him a happy new year which I thought would be a good occasion.
    That was last Wednesday, he hasn’t replied yet and I don’t think he will, it could be that he didn’t even recognize me. Of course it bothers me now but I’m glad I took the risk. If I hadn’t I would have always regretted not taking a chance once more again – a feeling that is the worse than getting rejected.

  57. Kristiana says:

    Hey Matthew,

    I just got rejected by a guy I really like.
    We went on a few dates and then he ended it.
    6 moths later (on this Christmas eve), he texted me that I am the girl of his dreams and that he wants to give it another try. He never texted again.
    I wrote to him, asked how is he going and maybe we could get together some time soon. His response was that he hasnt got time to do that. Thats it. He did it again. And I dont get it at all!

    • jg says:

      this has happened to me before with someone who i found out later was a mega-player and womanizer…. someone who will do anything and pull any trick out of his hat to pull you in, but as soon as you show interest, he’ll suddenly back off, become unavailable, and ultimately disappear.. and then just when you think you’re safe you’ll get a text out of nowhere. my friendly advice, run far far away and don’t respond or block his number :) would save you loads of potential pain.

  58. Chloe says:

    Hi Matt, I kinda got rejected last month. I was seeing this guy for 3 months and everything went great. so I told him I’m not seeing anybody else, I only want to see him now, it’s cool if he’s seeing anyone else we could still be friends. He said he’s not seeing anyone else since we met but tbh he is still looking…..so we are only friends now I haven’t contacted him since and looking forward to dating other people. Thank you x

  59. Rene says:

    I am on an online dating site and met a man for lunch who I was unsure about but thought I would go out with him for another date if he asked. He said I was even prettier than my picture and he asked me out for Saturday night and I said yes, he never called. I guess that’s rejection and the reason doesn’t even matter. Glad to not have wasted my time. I think this happens very often to me with the online dating especially. Sometimes I can see that men might just blurt out let’s see eachother again which doesn’t feel like too much rejection when they don’t call back but when they set up a specific day/time and then don’t call well, that does feel like rejection. I do feel it’s their loss and I am trying not to overthink the why’s. It’s odd though because there were even times when I had a great time and even a great kiss with a guy and he asked me out and then never called (and I know the kiss was great b/c 90% tell me so). I don’t know why this happens, I am smart and nice but not a pushover but whatever, at least I am not wasting my time with someone who isn’t going to see it through with me. I guess it does confuse me but in the end it’s all just rejection until I find “the one” which I have verbally stated I will be finding in 2013, though I tried to give fit December in there b/c I liked a guy I met but that didn’t work out so apparently I will meet “the one in 2013…lol!!!

  60. Blue says:

    Deep in the past, two men left me for the arms of the same other woman: not just any woman, but New York City! How does a mere woman begin to compete? I was quite disconcerted and forlorn!

  61. Mona says:

    Good tips Matthew! Thanks for motivating me to keep trying.

    I was thinking about rejection and why I am so hesitant to put myself out there. One particular story does not come to mind, rather a melange of memories, ranging from a boy asking me out in middle school when he really liked my friend, to guys hitting on me when they were dating other women, to me having great conversations and first dates and the guys never following up again. I see those incidents as rejections, because the lack of follow up or sincere interest leads me to believe they were not really into me, and I guess I needed the confirmation before I reached out and expressed interest.

    I pledge to follow up with men I connect with this year. I hesitate to be too assertive because I’ve had male friends tell me I can be intimidating. I have wonderful friendships and I love meeting people, but dating stumps me to this day. I recognize I could be more open with how I feel, and this is not easy to express. I look forward to more of your sage advice! I’m 30 and would love to fall in love, for the first time!

  62. Kinga says:

    Hiiii!

    So, I have to tell you that I am really scared of rejection and I loved this video about making the rejection your friend, I want to do it!

    I remember one time that I got rejected and it was really painful for me – it was with one guy that I really liked, we had couple of dates, but they were going worse and worse and finally he stopped writing to me. Even though we didn’t have any argument or he didn’t say it to me face-to-face I still felt rejected very painfully ’cause I reaaally liked him.

  63. novalee truesdell says:

    i did not get rejected yet – its my goal for the new year!
    nova xx

  64. Erika says:

    Hey Matt! Thanks for this video, I feel really pumped. :)

    So, my rejection story would have gone better except for one thing. I was about to call the guy to tell him my feelings, and as it turns out, one of our mutual friends took the liberty of doing it for me, and then informing me through text. I got furious and told her that if he couldn’t even let me know himself, I didn’t even want to be friends, in spite of the fact that we had been really good friends before. That was in October, so I intend to try and fix things when I see him tomorrow. I’m still mad at our mutual friend, though.

  65. Johanne says:

    Hi Matthew !

    I’m from Montréal Canada and I love the way you express yourself and give us tips. I’ve been rejected a few times last year on a dating site because, unlike some other ladies, I do take the first steps towards men and rejection often has to do with my weight. I’m a BBW and I’m not shy about it because I had lots of boyfriends who enjoyed this very much but I can understand that I cannot be to everybody’s taste as they are not all to mine. One of them was SOOOOO much like me in what he was describing, we would have had a blast I’m sure. But when he told me that he was not interested… well I just thought, too bad ! Attitude is for something in it after all isn’t it? Have a great day !

  66. Jill says:

    When I experience rejection I always remind myself that The the wrong one is the right one to lead me to the best one. I know that’s cheesy but before I gained the confidence I needed this little saying helped so much. I also try to use rejection as a learning tool it can tell you so much about yourself and what you might need to change/work on. I also love something my brother said one time when I totally bombed on a business attempt. He asked me if I thought any successful person got to where they were on the first attempt and of course the answer was NO! With that said when rejection does come your way find the humor in it and move on to the Best One:) Happy Man Hunting Ladies:)

  67. Trina says:

    Hi Matthew,
    Happy New Year, and thanks for helping so many amazing women to find love.
    My latest rejection was with a guy I was seeing at the begining of 2012. We had been “going out” for about two months, and I thought it was time we decided if we should continue to see each other, or not. I just asked him if he wanted to continue to see me…. at first he didnt really know what to say, but after a few more questions and comments from me, he decided that he didnt want too, but also said that he didnt want to hurt me. You should of seen his face though, he looked so happy!!! It was like a weight had been lifted. I think I had been really anxious, and insecure…. a weight was also lifted for me too as now at least I knew where I stood. The truth is that sometimes I am more afraid of men saying yes than saying no!! But on the other hand, I want to be in love and to be loved, and have that relationship. So lets hope 2013 I can get out there and make that happen. Thanks Matt for all that you do
    Trina

  68. Christina says:

    Hello Matthew,

    I am a fan of you from Sweden. I saw your last video and thought to reply

    I have a huge crush on a guy in my school. We have talked occasionally together. I have never asked about his favorit music style, but i do know that he is into music, so thought that i should send him a PM with a sample music from a soundtrack that i like to his facebook. The resualt? I got rejected.:( He didn’t answerd or anyhting. He just read the PM.
    I wrote something like this: Hi, i dont know why but i think you would like it (the link to the music) Give it a try. Take care.

    What on earth did i do wrong? From now on i do not have any confidence in talking to him anymore :( Help?

    Cheers and take care /Christina

  69. Anastasia says:

    Matthew you are the best! I have a playlist with your videos on yt and I suggest it to all the people i care about :)
    Concerning rejection, i cannot remember the last time i got rejected in my love life-not for any other reason other than the fact that, although I usually make the first move, I always go after those I know for sure they like me.
    However i have been rejected a lot recently in the friend zone(not sure if that falls into the category of the things you want to hear on this “comment thread”) But now my new year resolution(especially having watched your new video) is to try harder, take more chances and meet a whole lot new people!! :D
    Best wishes to you to find everything you want this year! :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Anastasia,

      I’m glad that you are using the videos and applying them where you need. Thanks for the comment!

      x

  70. Deveney says:

    I’ve never really been rejected, cause I don’t have the courage to hit on the guy I like, or make a move. Even when it’s clear that he’s into me too. I guess at heart I’m an old fashion kind off girl who expects guys to do so. And I’m not the type who always knows the right things to say, I also fear of getting it wrong. But I really want to break this cycle of having the opportunity to just go for it, but chickening out and regretting afterward.

    Once I made a move by mistake:
    I had feelings for a guy I used to hang out with a lot. We really clicked. I was in the friendzone for ages. One night I was drunk, called him and told him how I felt. We started dating the next day. He felt the same way as I did. And all I could think was, why didn’t I say anything sooner??

    Point of my story is that I’m missing out on a lot because of my fobie of rejection. 2013, a new year, new chances to meet new people and probably also get rejected. But what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger :)

    PS. I loveeee your video’s and a happy new year! X

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Deveney,

      I’m glad you are enjoying the videos and I hope they inspire you to go out and meet new people. As you can see, people can get past rejection and so can you!

      x

  71. Caro says:

    This is the first time I’ve responded to one of your videos, I’ve loved just being on your newsletter and receiving great advice from you. I thought this story about rejection might make you chuckle if you ever read this: I went on a first date on halloween, I couldn’t go to a dance the next night with this fellow because I had an opera production I was in then, but I was still really attracted to him and really wanted to get to know him, so I ended carving pumpkins with him that same day he’d asked me out to go swing dancing. After the date which I thought had gone really well I get home and in my inbox is a newsletter email from you about exactly what not to do on a first date… its the one email of yours that made me wince, I realize that I had done most if not everything on the don’t do list, if only I’d read it before, lol. He hasn’t asked for another date since and I’m not surprised at all. Better luck next time I guess. Thank you for all the heartfelt work you do and I really appreciate your advice:)

  72. Ellen Osborne says:

    I just began my freshman year at college last fall and immediately felt incredibly attracted to this one guy who was my room mates best friend. He seemed unexpectedly right in so many ways I had never felt before. The feeling was mutual and one evening he came over to watch a movie and he ended up staying the night. Nothing happened other than cuddling(completely PG). Everyday after that we talked on facebook, yet the following weekend he went home to see his family, and changed his relationship status from “Single” to “In a relationship”. I felt incredibly played and the “next best choice”.

  73. Mawii says:

    Hello Matthew!! Happy new year!

    Here is my story:

    I’ve been rejected, last year by someone I was already in love with, but we were colleagues for 1 year. We went to Paris together to visit a friend of his, he was sweetn romantic and all, but nothing happened… except that I was convinced that he loved me back.

    A few days later I told him how I felt for him, he didn’t really answered much, he said that I should take my time to get over it, and stay friends… I was heart broken but I accepted that rejection… and two days later he starded a long distance relationship with an asian girl 7 years younger than him and played the “really happy guy” all over his FB page… our “friendship” wasn’t enough to at least spare my feelings… I talked about it with him… he said “If I had to do it again, I would do exactly the same” (that was the most hurting part… the kiss of death) I felt so … worthless. I almost thought he wanted to punished me or someting. That was too hard.

    I got over him quickly, I met a really sweet guy 15days later… but I still feel worthless. nice story huh? :-)

    Thanks for your vidéos!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Mawii,

      I’m glad you met someone new to share your time with. Don’t let the rejection of the last guy keep you from enjoying the attention of this new guy.

      x

  74. Lauren says:

    Hi Matthew,

    Thanks so much for the videos you put out, they really do apply to life beyond love life.

    My worst rejection was with someone I have a history with. I had been the one mostly responsible for (short-term) rejection, but both of us had hoped that we could still be together again at some point.

    When I came home and we saw each other for the first time in more than a year, he asked if we could sleep together so that he could get over me and be with someone new he had met. Although I didn’t do it, enough happened between us that made me feel compromised and confused that after how long we had been together and how much we loved each other, he was willing to hurt me permanently for something casual.

    I’m starting to get over this relationship for the first time in five years, and without rejection this painful, nothing would have caused me enough pain to need to put it behind me.

    Thanks again for all of the good stuff you put out there. Looking forward to 2013!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Lauren,

      Thanks for sharing your rejection story with us. Having everyone talk about it here has helped so many already.

      x

  75. DIANE says:

    i was rejected i went out with a guy for about 6 weeks n we got onreally great then he just stopped texing then ignoring my texts i still dont no wot happened i thought we were good 2 gether ?

  76. Eileen says:

    I’ve got rejected by my ex-boyfriend someday in Nov 2012. Couldn’t get over it as he did not give me a clear reason to why he decided in breaking up after 3 years of being together. It was tough for me.. I text and call him everyday but he just chose to ignore. I even throw my last bit of dignity away by waiting outside his apartment the whole night for him. End up he just walked away, leaving his family to settle things with me. It was totally embarrass and really silly of me to devalue myself to a point like this. But at least I tried my best, perhaps? Till now I’m trying to move on.. :(

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Eileen,

      Moving on can be tough and no one expects you to do it right away but hopefully each day will get better and you’ll be ready to go out and meet new people soon.

      x

  77. M says:

    I am 44 divorced mom of two teens. I decided I was bored with my spare. Time and began to take ball room classes when one of the instructors who’s quite young became interested in me. He would dance with me at our practice parties and become physical with me and said he couldn’t help but hold me. He did this on more than one occasion which made me uncomfortable and. I told him to stop be denied it all. Needless to say I have noticed how men react or make eye contact with me so I smile all the time. This is just a small step in going back into the relationship world even if I get rejected I’m ok with it .
    P.s I have another dance instructor who’s not as hormonal as the other one and its a lot better dancing this way.

  78. Ange says:

    LOVE your videos Matt! Can’t wait for the TV show and your book! I had a tough time thinking a time I got rejected. Which is not a good thing! It means I’m not putting myself out there enough. But one time was when I was playing basketball at the gym with a bunch of guys. And I went up to take a shot and a guy just put his hand up and swatted the ball back down. I make the fact that I’m a girl an excuse too much. Anyways, this happened several times more. But most importantly, I learned from it. In my practice, I incorporated a little fake shot before my real one. :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Ange,

      I’m glad you are planning to put yourself out there more! Taking action is the best thing you can do to put your love life forward.

      x

  79. Ste says:

    It’s not the worst rejection per se, but the last one was when my ex and I saw each other last time we met. He was looking at me with his eyes twinkling and I know he loves me cause he still does lots of things for me, if I need it. When I asked him why he was looking at me like this, he said he was looking at everyone like that. Well I’m no fool. Then he told me it was good that I noticed that guys fancied me. Not that I knew that guys fancied me but that I took notice (we were talking about the same look he threw me). But then he said that me and him it’s really over.

    This rejection is not too bad for me because on some level I know we will be toghether again. Don’t ask why but it’s a feeling I have.

  80. Carly says:

    Happy new year!

    It’s been over 6 months now since I’ve started dating again and I’ve been meeting new guys via an on-line dating site.
    So far, almost every date or connection that I’ve felt has fallen flat. I’m an attractive, intelligent woman and honestly, in the past I haven’t experienced much rejection at all, but the last few months have really taught me some good lessons about self worth and what I project about myself to men.
    The first couple of dates that I had were with guys that I had been texting and talking with on the phone for a few weeks and thought we had good chemistry until the first real date, which on my part I thought went ok, but they just weren’t interested which is always confusing. And then another guy, same deal… our date went well, he asked to see me again, but stopped trying to make an effort to talk with me soon after and made the “I’m too busy excuse” and after a month of no contact he still claims he is interested in dating yet makes no effort. Same story with another guy recently who I’ve been making a really good connection with, but he lives a few hours drive away and we haven’t met in person… he had suggested coming to visit, but decided not to and didn’t offer up and reason why.
    I’ve been noticing a pattern. The more I initiate contact and open myself up before he does, the less interested he becomes.
    I’ve just been really learning about dating and how men work and that’s the thing, they like to work for anything that is worth keeping and I haven’t been letting them do that… there could be other factors that I’m not seeing as well, but this is turning out to be a great lesson in communicating with men so far :) And also projecting self worth and value. I’m sure by the end of all of this I’m going to end up with the man of my dreams!

    Thanks so much for all that you do Matthew, you’re helping to improve so many lives in so many ways and your positive attitude is contagious!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Carly,

      I’m glad that this site is helping you through your dating journey. Thanks for sharing your story with us!

      x

  81. Rivka says:

    Hi.
    I’ve been wondering, is it a mistake to let a guy know I’m bisexual (but only interested in dating the opposite gender-guys)? It’s not the first thing I would tell him, but maybe later on?

  82. Lizzie says:

    Well, I can’t share my experiences because I’m never brave enough to talk to people in the first place. :( I don’t want to be rejected. So I feel it’s more safe to just not say anything.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Lizzie,

      I hope this year is they year that you try to open your life to meeting new people. Read some of the comments, rejection happens to everyone, its your attitude that makes it easy to shake off.

      x

  83. Julie says:

    Hey Matt, thanks for all the great advice! It’s made me view dating and myself in a whole new light. I have been rejected by guys and have said no to them too. If that’s what it takes to find that special person to have fun and enjoy life with then that’s ok with me. I’ve met some interesting guys and made some new friends too! Always enjoy your videos and can’t wait for your book to come out in the U.S. :)

  84. Shay says:

    It was in the beginning of 2012, when my friend Kelly and I decided to go to dinner at an Italian restaurant. When I waited for my friend to arrive, I got seated in the restaurant, and my waiter came by. He flirted up a storm with me even while Kelly was there with me also. He was tall and handsome. He even told me he didn’t charge me for my drink, which I assumed that he may be into me.
    After my friend egged me on to leave my number on the check, I did.
    I was so embarrassed about it that I snuck out before he could see me leave.
    That night he called me, saying how beautiful I was and how attracted he was to me BUT he had a fiancé! He told me he would like to keep in touch through facebook, but I wasn’t digging it! I felt rejected.
    However, I met someone wonderful five months ago, we are dating, and I couldn’t be any happier! Those times when we get rejected lead us to take more chances until we meet the one that is just right for us! Keep trying, is my motto!

  85. Crystal says:

    Hey Matthew.

    I love the idea about making people become comfortable with rejection. Personally, when it comes to relationships, I have never really had a problem with it. Not that I haven’t been rejected. No, I’ve been rejected more times than I can count, but I know that they are missing out on something amazing, and consider it there loss and my gain. They saved me the trouble of being with someone who didn’t value me.

    My toughest rejection story would have to be the first one that really mattered to me. I had met a guy while visiting a friend and we hit it off quite quickly. Apparently his friends thought so too, because they kept commenting on how out of character he was acting. That they had never seen him blow off his own rules of conduct like he was.
    Anyway, after returning home, I tried to stay in touch, but something happened and it just didn’t work out. I never heard from him again. I think the reason the rejection hurt so much was because of my reading into what his friends said more than the connection that I had with him. I think we could have been great friends, but I just don’t think he was used to the teasing that he got from everyone who thought there was more to it than that.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Crystal,

      Thanks for sharing. Every story helps someone else get through the sting of rejection.

      x

      • Crystal says:

        I know mine wasn’t exactly the kind of post you were looking for Matthew, but I just hoped it helps someone. I wish that more women could see that rejection generally benefits them. Why waste your time on someone who doesn’t respect you enough to learn more about you? You should only want to spend time on a person who sees you for what you have to offer. If they can’t, it’s their loss. :)

  86. Judy says:

    Happy New Year Matthew! Eagerly waiting for your book.

    I was rejected TWICE by the same guy! I thought I could change the way he thought about me by making the times we spent together special, fun and tension free. I cannot lie, I still have feelings for him but when he said no the second time I took it casually, again, and backed off. Then he said he would hate to lose me as a friend because I was so awesome, but I told him I needed a little space. Haven’t spoken to him since but I feel if I can just get through this, I will be ready for the next round of dating and the rejection that comes with it.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Judy,

      You have the right attitude. Take your time and when you’re ready re-watch this video and you’ll be ready to get them.

      x

  87. Louise says:

    About 6 years ago, I got up the courge to send an email to a very handsome solicitor that I was working with, asking him out on a date. He sent me a very nice reply explaining that he was happily married with two kids so had to decline. He did say how flattered he was though and how long it had been since he had been asked out. I was rejected but I felt fine about it and I even felt good that I had made his day! :0)

  88. Lisa says:

    Hello Matthew,

    First I wanted to say thank you because in the short few days that I have discovered you, I have learned so much about myself and behaviors that have been interfering with being that “high Values Women” I need to be.

    So my most recent experience was only a few weeks ago, I met a guy online, we talked back and forth for a few days and he asked me out for a Saturday night (this was on a Monday). In my eyes, things were going good, great conversations, which he fully participated in, etc. On Thursday I asked what we were doing for our date and he made up some poor excuse, (which I saw immediately as a blow off) that he had a company Xmas party that he forgot about and wasn’t sure if he was going to attend but he would let me know the following day….well Friday came and went and I haven’t heard from him since. I never saw any signs of him losing interest or something I might of said that would have changed his mind about me.

  89. Cris says:

    Matthew!

    Just turned 22, and I spent all of last year focusing on school and work. Still in school, but wanted to shift some energy on a non existent love life! Went out with some friends, and chatted with a few guys. I used the tried and true method of “21” questions. I literally just bounced off question with the guys, and I only ever asked two at the most three. Two of the guys said how relaxed I seemed in our conversation. One joked and said if I had an ear piece in… told them I learned from the best!

    Big congratulations to you and your new ventures!
    Wishing you all the best!

    Cristina

  90. Katherine says:

    I have this friend who I was semi involved with several years ago. We had very strong feelings for each other for a while, but nothing happened because he was dating my best friend. We eventually let things fade out and got back to being friends. Throughout the years the level of our friendship would vary from casual friends, to every once in a while friends, however, because I never got any closure, I would have strong feelings for him when I did see him. He moved to San Francisco [I’m near LA] for about a year and that was fine. But when he moved back home, we started playing music together and old feelings started to resurface. I didn’t want to say anything because even though I knew I would feel better to have it off my chest, I didn’t want to lose a friend and great drummer. He then started blowing me off and we stopped playing music. When we finally started talking again, I decided it was time to tell him. I drove by his house and asked him to come outside and meet me. We talked and I told him what was going on and what had been going on. I told him that, for my own sanity, I needed him to tell me nothing would ever happen between us and he did. Maybe it’s not the same because I told him to reject me. Maybe he was lying and something will eventually happen. But regardless, I believe him and I’ve been so much better because of it. I no longer see him in that light and I’ve really moved on for the first time in six years.

    A testament to the positive side of rejection.

  91. Lena says:

    Hi Matthew,

    Big fan! Your material has really helped a lot and I look forward to making 2013 a year filled with lots of new experiences and adding value to my life!

    My worst rejection is my most recent one – decided to start dating my then best male friend in May 2012. We were going back and forth a while, but ended up officially dating exclusively. And then six months down the line, he tells me he is moving to Australia (we live in London). Boom! But — he would like to keep dating me until Christmas. Eh, jeez, thanks?

    We are still friends, not the way we used to but we still talk. I try not go get charmed by him again as I know I am not a priority in his life, so I will not make him one in mine…

    But single, in London and armed with awesome advice – 2013 is looking spectacular already!

    Xx

    Lena

  92. Amelia says:

    The worst rejection I’ve experienced was in the summer of 2012. I’d known this guy for 12 years – we dated on and off, then he got married. While he was married we actually became good friends. His marriage lasted 5 years. I went back to London in June and we met up. We talked, laughed, kissed. We met a few days later at a wedding and he barely spoke to me. I left a few days later – and even though he said he’d arrange an evening for us to hang out, I never heard from him. I went back home and couldn’t get out of bed for a week. Not because I thought anything would come of it, but because I thought I meant more to him as a friend. It’s been 7 months and we still haven’t spoken. I have since lost all respect for him and realise I don’t need people like that in my life!

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Amelia,

      Thanks for sharing your story with everyone. So many women have been in the same position, you sharing your story helps them all.

      x

  93. Karen says:

    It is just hard put myself out there 3 times last year and got rejected 3 times. One guy moved away for work, second guy we became friends, and knew he was not boyfriend /husband material but just fun to hang out with, 3rd one we have been friends for 3 years and he asked for my number and we started hanging out going for walks, texting talking and emailing. New years day posts he is in a relationship…what a way to find out…;o( I just want to stop being everyone’s friend. So this year continueing to get healthy, lose more weight concentrate on me ;O) Happy New Year Ladies & Matt and good luck to all of you. Karen

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Karen,

      Thanks for sharing with us! Working on yourself is a surefire way to further your life towards your goals.

      x

  94. Genevieve says:

    My most painful experience with rejection was the night before new years eve about two years ago. The son of an old family friend came back into town after being away for a long time. I hadn’t seen him since we were young and now that we were both adults, there was a new-found attraction. We first started communicating and talking as friends, it then turned into this sort of “flirtationship” where we would talk on the phone, text all day, be flirty etc.. he started to become distant and text/call less but the flirtatiousness intensified, and I was under the impression he really wanted me. One particular week he became very distant, and I was experiencing some distress because I had just found out I’d lost my scholarship to the university i was attending. I wanted to talk to confide in him, so I called. He kept the conversation short and didn’t say much. Then I asked him what he was doing for new years… he told me he’d be spending it with his girlfriend. I played it cool and said that that was nice, but as soon as I hung up I cried. I had involved myself emotionally with a guy who had a girlfriend. It’s not the typical “rejection” but rejected was how I felt.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Genevieve,

      Plenty of girls have been in your shoes and I know that you story helps them feel not alone. Thanks for sharing!

      x

  95. Ashley says:

    Hi Matthew! Thanks for the encouragement. Here is my rejection story that happened a few months ago.

    My boyfriend (that I dated for 7 months) cheated on me with a married woman from his work. I hate the fact that he had kissed me & brought up getting married the next day after he had cheated on me, meanwhile during this time he was flirting with this other girl on his phone. I broke up with him when he told me that he lied to me & some of what happened with this other girl. After I broke up with him, a few days later he got into a relationship with a different girl from his work who was also married. That only lasted for two weeks. After that he got into another relationship lol with a girl from his work who is three years younger than me & he told me that he can’t stand her personality. They broke up for a few weeks and now are back together again. We aren’t talking anymore now (which is a good thing). I have to remind myself why I broke up with him so he doesn’t try to talk me into coming back (which he has tried). Sometimes it’s like I forget that he’s a creep & that he cheated on me once he starts talking. I’m ready for 2013 though, to move forward in life & forget about him. :)

  96. Maryam says:

    Well, this is just one of many, I guess :P

    I was about 19 years old and at a friends party when a really cute (also a little drunk) guy started chatting me up. I was up for fun, so after a while we made out a bit (yeah always a good start to a relationship, I know..). Anyways, we exchanged numbers and said goodbye after a really long night together (still at that friends house though).
    A few days later he still hadn’t called or anything, so I thought, well, I’ll just text him and see if he wants to meet up. He then texted me back that he had kinda forgotten me and met his dream woman and they’re now seeing each other blabla.
    It all seemed like an excuse and like he didn’t want to be confronted with this at all, and when I did contact him, he hat to find some easy way out. And even if it was true, I don’t know, being forgotten? Not that nice…

  97. Riad says:

    Rejection! OH GOD. Last year, I’ve been rejected by the two persons I love most. First, My best friend. We’ve known each other for about three years, we shared everything together, we were like brothers. But in March, 2012. And honestly, I really don’t know why, he broke up with me, telling me that we’re just not meant to be, like that, with no reason, he walked out of m life. It sucked, to be honest. I wanted to put and end to my life, i was done! But then, I saw all of your videos online, You were such a positive person, wise, and you give precious & usefull advices. You helped to get through the sadness. So, I went to his home, I forced him to talk to me, telling him that he’s simply an idiot, that he’s such a jurk and everything, and at the end, before i leave, I told him, that he’s still my friend, that i do love him [as a friend]. And then, after many days, he came back and appologized to me for everything, but I told him that were not meant to be. And since that day, I feel so good about myself, I don’t know why. The second person who rejected me was my girlfriend, she told me: You’re not what i’m looking for, i’m sick of this, of us. But the weird thing is that we’ve been together for like a year. Well, that’s the problem, it’s only been a week, I don’t know how to get over her, what I should tell her, ps: I think i still love her. Anyway, i’m all confused. A little help Matt please ?!
    Thank you, have a good day and an amazing year.
    Lots of love, Riad.
    Ps: if I made mistakes while writing this, please forgive me. Xoxo..

  98. Rachel says:

    A couple of times when I’d been chatting to a guy for a while, was trying to find out a guy’s number or asking if he had a girlfriend… both guys were just really blunt about saying no! One guy even looked disgusted that I’d asked – what a lovely response :-) At least women often have the grace to reveal they’re flattered that a guy tried to get their number or ask them out, even if they’re not interested in the guy.

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Rachel,

      Thanks for sharing your story with all of us! Rejection is never easy but with all of these stories we can help people not feel alone in it.

      x

  99. Neeraja says:

    hey Matthew!

    thank you so much for all your words of wisdom! It always brings hope back to me, not just regarding guy, but people in general too.

    2 years ago in high school, I put myself out there completely in a hope of making a ton of friends. turns out there is such a thing as being ‘too out there’ and being overtly enthusiastic. I ended up making a ton of people uncomfortable and I get that now, but it was tough being rejected like that.

    it did make me a little stronger. Now I’m pretty much indifferent to rejection. but with that I’ve become somewhat indifferent to the positive in people too, which is hardly a good thing. this year, like you said, I’m gonna put myself out there the right way. sure, rejection may hurt, but if I don’t I won’t let myself receive the warmth and love of people either.

    so thank you :)

    • Matthew Hussey says:

      Hi Neeraja,

      That’s exactly what you have to keep in mind when you’re facing rejection. Ultimately, the right people are worth going through it.

      Thanks!

      x

  100. lizzy says:

    I met a rather nice guy at my local shopping mall after i got over my ex, with the help of your articles of coursed.(early last year.and we got attracted to each other almost immediately. He got my number and called me for like three times after that, I guess i played a little too hard to get, and he got pissed off and refused to call me anymore. I searched for him on facebook and even though he added me, he completely ignored me. Its almost a year now, Even though i really liked this guy, I feel helpless.

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