There are many dangerous qualities of a toxic person, but the worst one of all may be their deceptiveness.
They can be so subtle in their manipulation, you may not even realize what they’re doing to you, until you’re in too deep and they’ve completely eroded your confidence.
I’m not going to let that happen to you.
In today’s video, I take you through the 5 signs you’re dating a toxic person so you know exactly what to watch out for…
<3
Where were you 5 years ago before I married this guy?! I am so glad I got out and thankful for your video that I did the right thing and I wasn’t imagining it!
Hey Matt,
Wow! I wished I had met you 13 years ago. I was married for 10 years and now I have been divorced for 3 years. You are soooo right when you say they start out so slowly with their manipulations. My ex was so loving, kind, caring and romantic. I was so much in love. He also claimed it too. Most of our friends told us we were a great couple. The first few years of our marriage seemed to be a dream come true. As long as I went along with everything he wanted everything was fine. Towards the end of our marriage, I got a big promotion at my job and expected him to be proud of me and celebrate with me but he did exactly as you described. I didn’t understand it because I knew I would be so excited for him if that happened for him. When I look back on our relationship , I realize that I think my love for him blinded me and I knew that it was only getting worse because just like you described as I was getting stronger and questioning his behavior he was doing a little of both that you described. He was withdrawing and being vicious. As heartbreaking as it was, I knew that it was an unhealthy relationship and it had to end. I have forgiven him and want to find a healthy man for a new relationship. I hope and pray that I will be more aware of the signs of a toxic man before I get too involved. I also have a toxic person in my family and have had to distance myself from them because of the pain that they cause. I have to walk on eggshells around them and chose my words so carefully and they still want to end up in an argument. When that starts I now, I have learned to just say, ” I have to go and don’t take the bait.”
Beautiful words Matthew! Loved what you said towards the end of the video about creating an environment to help heal your partner.
I was in a toxic relationship off and on for five years. I Have too much to say right now…. LOL Love hearing all of your wisdom.
Word up Matt!!! This is a video that should pop up on every’s woman pc screen…
I think these are the five points about a toxic frienship aswell..
I now know I am in a relationship with a toxic man but I love him so much.
He was my first love. We met when I was 16 went out and then lost contact.
7 years later we find each other again and start a new relationship.
We have been together over 4 years now and although I have noticed the way he is with me I needed some obe to tell me. Thats what your video done for me. Now is there anyway I can stay with this man or do we need to end it? I am still madly in love with him and always have been.
Great point Gemma lees. It happens that I am in love with toxic man too. So, what is the solution really…how to deal with them or should we leave this kind of person?
It’s incredible! I’m seeing this video to see if I’m dating a toxic man, only to realize that I may be the toxic one in the relationship. Thanks for sharing <3 and help me reflect. I'm on my way to become a more loving person, starting by healing my insecurities and lack of confidence.
Matthew, thank you so much for sharing. I
I was dating a guy, who stuck with me with a $1600.00 gambling debt. I was really crazy about this guy. He had all the women from previous relationships that he had “to take care of”. When they called him, the dropped whatever was going on in our relationship, to service them. This would make me so insanely jealous.
So he pretended he had to go to a funeral of one of his ex girlfriend’s uncle. This was a women he supposedly had not affiliation, but he needed to stay at her house in Jacksonville, Florida, and they would have to go to some town in Georgia together.
This made me so angry. I ended the relationship with him right then and there. And, I have not communicated with him since that time. At first it hurt so badly, but then I realized that it was more important for him to “service” women of past relationships, than to keep the woman who was in front of him (me) totally satisfied.
I can breathe easy now. I was strong enough to walk away.
Joan
I was brought up in a toxic environment. Both my parents were putting each other down and my sister and I would never be good enough. That seemed to rub off on my sister who was bullying me. Since I am the youngest of two I had no power in my family. I started taking it out on younger kids in my neighborhood. What a vicious cycle. Even today I feel so ashamed in acting the way I did. I’m so sorry for being nasty. What we do and how we do in life has affect on our surroundings. I do my best to keep my environment clean literally and figuratively. Love, sisi
Thank you for this video Matt, watching this felt like you were writing out in bold marker pen what I had been pretending not to see for the last 6 months. It helped give me the strength to finally finish everything with that person and not get drawn back in like I have done countless times before. True to form, he turned nasty, everything was my fault and he fabricated the most incredible accusations with an aim to frame me as a complete b*tch that was hurting him. This time I didn’t get drawn in to defending myself and trying to correct his lies, I just quietly said ok and goodbye. I did that Tuesday morning and over the last couple of days, thinking over all the months of BS, I cannot believe I put up with what I did for so long. Thank you, without you and your video, I don’t think I would have seen this pattern. :) x
Hey Matthew,
Yes, being in a toxic and abusive relationship is never fun and can sometimes be really difficult to get out of because of all the subtle manipulation going on there as you very well pointed out here; however I also believe that they are always mirroring something back to us about the way we think of ourselves and the way we treat ourselves (as well as a myriad of other things), though most of the times those are very well hidden and unconscious patterns. And like you said, blaming the other person for their behaviour is never a good idea either as it robs us of an opportunity to look at our own stuff and ask ourselves the right questions, things like why we are in this relationship in the first place, why are we staying, why are we putting up with that kind of behaviour and why we were attracted to that person in the first place. Most of the times a part of ourselves recognises a pattern, in that person, that we have labelled as safe because we know it, but this known pattern can sometimes trigger pain, suffering, and many many other negative emotions (or a blend of positive and negative emotions) that we are just used to feeling but that are not healthy and that we would prefer to avoid if we knew how to, yet an unconscious part of ourselves decides to experience it again because it feels safe. Uhmmm… the uncomfortable comfort zone. So I believe it is really important to address or look at those issues whenever they rise up otherwise we lose an opportunity to heal ourselves and grow.
p.s.: Loving your work Matt! I started connecting into it last December through your videos which I’ve very much enjoyed watching. I actually found connecting into your work very healing because of your beautiful energy and the beautiful qualities that you embody. Thank you for being YOU! :-) Sending much love your way, Noelie
Couldn’t believe what I was hearing. You described my ex-boyfriend perfectly. This video really got my spirits up today! My ex manipulated me in believing I was to blame for everything bad and that I was crazy and worthless. You reminded me that I’m not cray or worhtless, so thank you so much for this video, Matthew! Ladies, TAKE NOTES ! xoxo
You nailed it, Matthew, as always. I just want to say that dealing with people, I have done a lot of research and reading about various personality disorders- superiority complex, inferiority complex, narcissism, bipolar disorder, sociopaths, and so on. I wanted to know why people are so screwed up and how I could deal with them. After much analysis I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of people I know in the past and present have at least one of these disorders. But the problem is that people who do have these issues never accept that they have them. For example, superiority complex. You can’t make someone accept that he/she has superiority complex, because he thinks he is f’in awesome. He truly believes that there could be nothing wrong with him. In fact, everybody should be like him. These people are completely self-indulged, they need constant attention, confirmation and flattery. Deep down, they are the most insecure people. They subconsciously cover it up by acting superior. This is just one example.
I’ve dealt with this kind of people all my life and it is on-going. Back-stabbing friends, manipulative partners, judgmental family members. After all my experience and readings, now when I see any red flags about any of these conditions on someone, I run for the hills.
The thing is no matter how much I love/like someone, my world is not going to be turning around him. I can’t even express how much self-indulged people annoy me, which is a lot of people. I won’t give anyone a chance again (I did once) to eat up my time and take away from my life goals and interests. I do all kinds of things to make my partner happy but if he is a mature person with a healthy, forward-thinking mind, and a positive, decisive leader spirit, he will support me, encourage me and lead me to be the best version of myself. That is real love.
Real love gives without any calculations, and wants the other person to be happy with no personal gain. The others are not love. They are infatuation or obsession. They ask “what is in it for me?” I am not saying I am perfect, but I know I can love in its full definition, and encouragement is in my nature, and that is like having a treasure in your chest that everyone wants to feed on. I used to use it very generously with everyone around me, not anymore. In today’s society, being a generously encouraging person is taken as weakness. I save it only for deserving people.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Matthew. xx
Mr. Hussey, I’m always moved by your on-point analysis of human relationships. This video really struck a chord with me because I realized that my own behavior can be toxic at times; and I’ve also had relationships with toxic people. I think my toxic behavior stems from the degrading and unstable dynamic between my parents. But right now, I need to uproot the toxicity from my life. Personality Detox! ^_^
this was a fantastic video. It took me 14 years to understand that I was in a bad relationship. Your video was right on and it could have saved me years if I’d have seen it a long time ago. Thanks for giving this information to women who may need it in the future.
Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you for this video. You put into words what I couldn’t find words for. You just described close to me. Don’t know quite what to do about them but this is the answer why my relationships don’t work out and why I always want to run away and think I’m better off by myself.
Thanks for summing up my only relationship. Haha. Glad I got the courage to walk away from that. It’s scary. When you become scared of the guy that should be the one protecting you, time to go.
I’ve been in a couple of these. It’s so scary. So great that Matt is delivering this message. So many people stuck in toxic relationships. Way to go on removing yourself from that situation. I know how tough it can be.
loved the video a little scary as I feel my and my bf are a mix of these items listed. How do I fix this?
Add his mother says…obey him..and I don’t care if you publish who I am..
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