“Am I the Only One Not Living My ‘Best Life’ During Coronavirus?”

I don’t know about you, but I’m already exhausted by the avalanche of motivational quotes online right now.

Advice everywhere. Everyone talking. It’s kind of numbing.

But I think there are some very manageable ways we can feel a little better right now, and release the pressure of the unrealistic expectations many of us are putting on ourselves in what is already a very difficult time. I explain them in the video…

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So it feels like, by the day, we’re all coming to terms with the fact that this situation right now is going to last a lot longer than perhaps most of us anticipated or we were told. There’s a lot of emotions that come with that. I am seeing people in my own life who normally have zero problems with motivation finding it difficult to get going, difficult to get motivated, feeling really apathetic. Other people who just feel like they’re not… they keep thinking they need to be super productive, but then they’re not even close to being as productive as they are in a time when they’re 10 times more busy.

And of course, the low-level anxiety that we feel and the uncertainty that we feel, the frustration that we feel, in many cases, the anger that we feel – all of that going on in the background of our minds, whether consciously or unconsciously, is draining. And many of us wonder, “Why do I feel so tired right now?” And it’s, well, aside from the fact that we’re a lot less active right now, we’re also exhausted emotionally from having to process this every day in ways that we don’t even realize.

And whenever I put out something right now, there are always comments that say “What’s everyone so worried about?” “Why are people making such a big deal?” “This is the greatest time ever.” “Is it bad that I’m not feeling bad at all, that I’m actually enjoying this time?” There’s those kinds of comments, which I find either emotionally numb to the situation or reflective of someone in denial where they don’t realize that those emotions are coming for them and they’re kind of in this blissful state of unawareness or ignorance right now. Or honestly, just lacking in empathy for what other people are experiencing.

Right now, I was on a run and I stopped by a place that was still serving coffee, this place that normally is a fully functioning restaurant that is just serving takeaway right now, and I said to the guy behind the counter, I said, “How you doing?” And he said, “Well, we’re trying, and we’re still making things. And we have these meal plans. If you want us to, we’ll literally do free delivery at home for you. We’ll send you the meals and you can pick what you want and have it customized to you.”

And as I’m hearing this guy talk, my heart breaks because I think, “God, this poor guy.” He started a business. These kinds of businesses are hard, even when they’re easy, even when times are good. Right now, they’re hanging on for dear life. And my heart breaks for those people.

And so whenever people say right now, “Oh, what’s the big deal? This could be the greatest time ever.” I think we’re almost not accessing the breadth of experience that’s happening right now.

And I also get a little frustrated right now, whenever someone voices something they’re struggling with and the comments underneath are littered with, “You should remember to be grateful. Other people have it this bad,” and so on. And I think, well, of course, that’s true, that’s always true. But we have to allow people their pain. We have to allow people their truth, their suffering. I think of it as pain shaming. I almost want to have an environment right now where people feel a bit more free to be human without being judged for being human, without the self-help world telling them, “You should be so productive right now.” “This can be an amazing time.” “Step up and be a hero right now.” “You’re going to come out of this a winner or loser.” We have to get out of that mindset and get into just acknowledging each other right now.

I actually think that what’s even more important than advice right now is just humanity. So much of the motivation that’s thrown at us constantly, grates on me a little bit. I feel like there’s an avalanche of motivational quotes that drive me a bit bonkers. And I realize the irony of that in the context of this video that I’m making right now. I may well be contributing to the problem.

But I struggle with it myself right now. When I come to post something on Instagram, I’m like, “Oh, god, I don’t want to put up a quote right now and just become part of that platitudinous abyss of mind numbing motivation.” That when you see it, sometimes the instinct isn’t, “You’re right,” the instinct is off, “Oh, fuck off.” Like it’s hard, I’m having a tough time and you’re telling me it’s got to still be my best year ever. It becomes annoying.

And we also have to remember that this is going to be a marathon, not a sprint. We can try and white knuckle this and I’m going to make this the greatest week ever, but we’re also going to have next week and the week after. And if we don’t start setting ourselves more modest ideas of what success looks like during this time, we are absolutely going to burn out before we’re even halfway through.

What I wanted to talk about today is how we can deal with the emotions that we’re feeling right now, and how we can have perhaps a slightly better experience of this. This isn’t a video about how to be blissfully happy during this time, but how do we have a better experience of this really challenging chapter of our lives? I don’t claim to have this figured out, but there are things that in the past in my life, I’ve used to deal with situations where I feel very much out of control, where I don’t feel like I can just fix the situation. And this is one of those situations, I think, one of the things that a lot of people are feeling uncomfortable with right now.

And in some ways, some of the things that the self-development world is struggling with a bit right now, as an industry, is that so much of it is used to controlling things, is used to fixing problems. And part of this is a problem that we cannot fix. We, as individuals in our homes, don’t have control over. And for the problem solvers out there, and the people that are used to making things happen and taking charge, they’re deeply uncomfortable with this feeling of being out of control right now.

So how can you deal with those feelings and how can you deal with the negative emotions you’re feeling right now?

Number one, surrender. My boxing coach, Martin Snow, told me a long time ago, “Surrender doesn’t mean giving up. Surrender means acceptance. Making peace with.” We, right now, have a situation that we can either fight against – and many of us are fighting against it. You can imagine that image of a child kicking and screaming and crying. Eventually, that child might realize, if they have a parent that doesn’t respond to that behavior or if life doesn’t change because they kick and scream and cry, that they stopped crying. Because that’s our way of lashing out against the situation.

What we begin to realize is this isn’t a situation that kicking and screaming is going to change. We’re all going to have our kicking and screaming moments, right? I’ve had mine in one form or another already. Moments where I’m angry about the fact that we’re having to make all these changes. Moments where you just get very sad about the whole situation and sit there and don’t do anything. We all have those moments in our own way.

At a certain point, we have to surrender to the situation and say… It’s almost like I’m going to give this situation permission to exist. Instead of fighting against it, I’m going to… “OK, this is where I’m at right now.”

And interestingly, and paradoxically, hope isn’t always a good thing in a situation like this. Hope can be a good thing when we say, “Three weeks from now it’s going to get better because we know that blah, blah blah.” But we know right now that everything that’s being said to us is just an estimate. The goalpost for when this ends keeps being moved. And the living in hope of the moment when this changes stops us being here now in this moment, stops us making peace with the way things are right now. It actually stops us living because it puts us in this perpetual state of waiting. “I’ll be happy when this changes.” “I’ll start living again when this changes.” And then of course, when an authority figure says, “We said it was going to be on this date, but actually now we’re going to loosen up these restrictions on this date,” the reaction to that is anguish, is huge pain and disappointment.

Paradoxically, the way to get through this is for us to make peace with the way it is right now and to focus on, “OK, maybe I’m not going to be able to do everything I want to do. Maybe all the goals I wanted to achieve can’t all be achieved. Maybe while I’m dealing with the stress of all this, I’m not going to be as productive as I normally am. Or getting the best workout. Or do this… But I’m going to make it my own little work of art in whatever way I can. Even if just that’s a modest way.” My work of art could be just me navigating my way through this emotionally. But surrendering to that. We cannot live for the day that this moves on.

Number two, we have to focus on the emotional component of this, not the circumstantial component of this. In this case, the circumstantial component is the virus, is the restrictions we have on our movement right now. Social distancing, quarantining. For some of you, it’s the loss of a job or the breakdown of a relationship during this time. We can’t always change or exert control over the circumstantial component of something, right? And even if you can, you learn that you might be able to manipulate it by 1% or 2%, like, “Oh, I can’t go out, I can’t do a lot of things, but I can still take a walk.” OK fine. So we are able to manipulate it to some extent, to alleviate some of the pain that we get from the restrictions we have right now. But it’s still small percentage shifts.

Then there’s the emotional component, which is the way that we’re relating to this situation. Now, what’s encouraging is the emotional component is both the source of the pain that we’re feeling, and it’s also the part that can be the most heavily manipulated. One of the things that can help us manipulate the emotional component to this is a lesson that was passed on to me by one of my mentors when I came to him about a chronic injury, something that was causing me pain on a regular basis that I could not make go away. He said, “So, right now, you see it as a foreign invasion. And every time you notice that that pain is still there – it might be that you lose yourself in a flow-state working or you’re able to distract yourself for an hour or two – but the moment your mind goes back to that pain that you’re feeling, you instantly get upset because it’s like there’s this foreign invader that’s there right now that’s back. ‘There it is again. I thought it was gone. Now it’s back.'” He said, “As crazy as it sounds, we have to start seeing this as an old friend, as a kind of companion in your life that you actually make space for.” And he said, “That may seem so ridiculous to you because you hate this thing.” He said, “But we have to start taking that energy out of it and start seeing this as an old friend.”

This isolation that we’re feeling right now, the loneliness that comes with it, the social distancing, all of this, can be seen in the context. Even though it’s new and many of us are struggling because we see it as a foreign invasion, we could start to actually make friends with it and wake up into a new day. And instead of going, “Is the nightmare over? No, I’m still in isolation. I’m still having to quarantine. I’m still having social distance.” Instead, we could wake up into this and go, “Oh, here we are again. Another day, another day of quarantine, another day of social distancing. There you are.” There’s this sort of companion I’ve made space for now. “Oh, loneliness. There you are. Welcome. Welcome back. We had dinner yesterday, didn’t we? Well, let’s have breakfast this morning. Hello.” It’s a much more… There’s a lack of resistance there that actually makes it hard for that thing to wrestle with you and exhaust you the same way.

Number three, we can benefit from placing the pain of this in a larger context. Right now, this seems like everything. It seems like everything has been leading to this and this is the great big, painful moment of our lives right now. But seen in a longer context, it will be part of the fabric of a life of many different moments, many different emotions, and it certainly won’t be the only painful moment of our lives.

We can, therefore, see this as a kind of training for other situations that we’re going to confront in life anyway. That this is actually useful for the purposes of that training. And we see it that way when we go into the gym. We see the pain we create in the gym as being valuable pain. Sam Harris talks about this. He talks about how pain is contextual. That if you were to wake up in the middle of the night feeling the intensity of pain that you feel at the height of a difficult gym session, you’d think you were dying. And yet, when you feel it in the gym, you’re perfectly relaxed about it because it’s pain that you’ve not only chosen, but accepted as an acceptable part of your growth. We can actually frame this up in the context of this being a gym right now. We’re training, and the pain we’re feeling is an acceptable part of the growth of who we’re about to become. And everything else that’s coming, we’re going to be more equipped for, because we did our training here, now, in this gym.

So look, we’re all finding our way with this. I have bad moments in my day and my goal is not to have no bad moments or even no bad hours or, in some cases, no bad morning or evening, but to try to use these techniques I’m sharing with you. These are very personal to me because I use these for myself all the time. To use these techniques to try to prevent a bad hour from turning into a bad day or a bad week. Because these are techniques that allow us to kind of, when there’s a fork in the road where we can spiral into something even worse, there’s actually an off ramp that takes us somewhere more positive.

The one thing I know that is going to be universal from this, is that we, as human beings, are going to be reminded of how adaptable we really are. And many people who have never learned how adaptable they can be, are going to learn for the first time, perhaps, just how adaptable they can be. And no bad can come from that.

I’ll leave you with this. There was a comment that was left by someone called K.M.M. Healy on my last video. She said, “I’m blind, and I find it fascinating that this pandemic is forcing sighted people to have a taste of physical and emotional isolation. It’s the same isolation that many members of the blind community experience with or without shelter-at-home orders. Though most people considered blind legally have some residual vision, we don’t necessarily see people while out running errands, which means we often have fewer casual conversations with strangers. I never see smiles or any attempt at eye contact from my own friends and family who forget I can’t see them, much less strangers who have no idea (apparently, I don’t look blind). It can feel very isolating. And blind people have to take deliberate steps to change that feeling. It’s interesting to me, how the COVID-19 pandemic has impacted the sighted people in my life. Many of them are taking their isolation hard. But as you said in this video, it’s a matter of perspective and resilience. But they’ll adapt, just like every person I’ve met who suddenly lost their vision. It’s what humans do.”

It’s what humans do. And it’s what we will do, as we go through this situation. Not alone but together. I love you and I’ll see you in the next video.

152 Responses to “Am I the Only One Not Living My ‘Best Life’ During Coronavirus?”

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  1. Mirja Püttmann says:

    Thank you, great video! In these times compassion and patience are really important. I still hope people CAN use these demanding times to grow personally as individuals and build resilience. But also society needs to develop – on a greater scale. Surrender and living in the moment will help a great deal (my opinion).

  2. Trevor says:

    I agree with much of what you’re saying, but we also need to be free and not judged for feeling personally okay. I don’t think that perspective/experience should be shamed. We have to allow for that perspective as well and allow space for everyone to deal with a worldwide pandemic in their own ways. You seem all about acknowledging the breadth of experience and yet you are saying that those of us who are thriving or finding positive aspects to this time in our world are somehow ignorant and void of empathy. That’s crazy. Of course I’m not going to offer those who are struggling platitudes and “keep your chin up” bullshit and I agree – that is horrible behaviour. But for me to be lucky enough to not be facing what many others are doesn’t make me wrong or blind to the pain of others.

  3. Corey Campopiano says:

    Matt, this video was EXCEPTIONAL…. I can only speak for myself when I say that this helped me so much to hear, and look at from this perspective. Thank you for the WONDERFUL work you do. You are an exceptional person. God bless.❤️
    Corey C.

  4. Valerie love says:

    Thanks for all your different perscectives on this subject. I love how you describe things so simple and with heart. Love it. Stay safe, healthy and mentally sane. I know this is why you were doing this video.

  5. YVONNE says:

    I always feel better when I listen 2u , thanks M for making a difference, much ❤️

  6. Nel says:

    That is a really wonderful and useful content in this video. It just came in time and I am sure you said out loud what we all think.
    Thank u, Matthew

  7. Emily says:

    I can’t express how helpful this was to me! You touched on so much of what I have been experiencing but haven’t been able to articulate. Thank you for the work you are doing. It truly makes a difference!!

  8. Emmy says:

    So Matt says “we’ll do it together, I love you” and I start crying …
    I’m not sure I want to be trained for loneliness. But I definitively feels that I am training to understand people who are isolated, and that it is my responsibility to make real connections with people. Let’s do it

  9. Sara Sundgren says:

    Great perspectives Matthew!
    Keep being real:)



  10. Crystal Garcia says:

    This video met a lot to me and was very moving. I agree with so much of what you said. Thank you for a candid perspective about how to be in this time.

  11. MicheleL says:

    Thank you Matthew for caring about others to be real and put yourself and thoughts out there to relate to through this still slightly unbelievable dream state. Motivation is def a problem and distractions and the complete unknown of how this will all end and will we ever see a normal life again and I don’t think that old normal will be our new normal beyond the new temporary normal we are in now. Trying to stay healthy in my home with the aches and pains like TMJ and shoulder pain I started with before all of this from not moving enough to now being in my home still not finding time or motivation when all we have is time outside of working remotely. I can ramble on… just wanted to say thank you. You are a beautiful man with a lovely accent and it’s wonderful to hear from you in your videos just when I need a pep talk. So thank you! Cheers ✨

  12. Sylvia says:

    Great perspective, thank you for the humility and sympathy. Being a trainer and fitness instructor and not wanting to zoom teach from my living room while I home school my little ones, I can relate. While we struggle with the lonesome familiarity of a everyday norms and our own thoughts.

    Validating words for a peacekeeper to live by right now.

  13. Lisa Bowman says:

    I’m a person that likes to stay busy it’s my therapy. I lost my boyfriend of 21 years 3 years ago though it still feels like yesterday better yet I ran away to another city stupid move
    Cause now I’m all alone so this virus made life much worse but dealing with it

  14. Cindy says:

    Hello and thank you for giving permission to feel exasperated at this situation. Where I live (Naples, Italy) our local government prohibits us from even taking a walk (unless you have a dog). I’ve been a runner all my life, and a healthy jog 2-3 time a week would be salvation for me. “Home” is 25 sq. m. (75 feet) studio apartment, with one small window facing a courtyard (only indirect light, I never see the sun but just a tiny square of blue sky. Luckily I am able to work from home but, I guarantee you: I am suffering!

  15. Razan says:

    The test for all of us here is to know to whom we go back. It somehow reminded me of a video of you talking about the core confidence when you were rocked and after that realised “I am the iron man”…for me I always have that in mind but now more than ever that “ I’m a Muslim woman “ my religion always encourages to experience the tough life for the goodness don’t last. It emphasises on having patience and complete trust in god as he knows how to stop this at the right time, we have to work for it though not just sit and wait. And the right time is when we all learn our lessons.. each and every one of us has a good lesson to learn in this time and my wonderful god wants us, as his most intelligent creatures to conclude that lesson…
    It was another great wisdom from you Matthew Hussey thank you for sharing. I appreciate you xx

  16. Steph says:

    Thank you for your videos Matt. I could really feel the depth of your heart in these.

    I agree with all the perspectives mentioned. I think it’s so important to hold space for and allow people to process their pain… While at the same time, allow people space to live in their happiness too. Perhaps processing the sorrow and the positivity are just different spots of the same spectrum of human emotions… we are all at different places, but it is important, like you mentioned, to acknowledge it all and to not just forget about our fellow humans…to try our best to integrate it all within our own experience, especially if we are emotionally strong/resilient enough…

    But for people who have to cling onto staying desperately positive at all costs, I feel that is their right to experience that journey too. After surviving narcissistic abuse and Stockholm syndrome from hours of physical abuse by my ex, I understand all too well the momentary illusions we cling to just to feel okay with staying alive.

    These days, I try to hold everyone in my heart, all the things, but sometimes the pain of what others go through hurts too much… so I have to take a moment for myself out in nature and just Be.

    I wish I could do more, especially for the loved ones that I physically cannot be with, but for now I just have to accept that it is the way it is, and I’ll just have to keep getting ready and be prepared for when I can truly help… in a bigger way.

  17. h f says:

    For me and everyone else who has always been homebound due to not being able drive, nothing has changed for us. For everyone else : welcome to our world.

  18. Lucy says:

    Thank you for keeping it real. I’ve been angsty about the clickbait articles about being your best self. While that’s admirable, it feels like a lot of external pressure if you’re a worrier like me.

    I reckon your next blog should be online dating tips for the lockdown since a lot of us are heading there.

    Also I know I’m not the only one who’s contacted an ex while in lockdown.

  19. Jess says:

    I’m quit confused by the messages that you are putting out. In the conversation with Ed Mylett, you were saying something different and beating yourself up because you hadn’t worked out in 5 days. I don’t know why people are so focused on still hustling right now. I see this as a time of stillness and getting in touch with yourself.

  20. A says:

    Great sharing. I’ve taking to planting seeds…even in a little container at my kitchen sink (micro greens). Every time I’m there (which is a lot) I get so encouraged by the little sprouts that day by day begin to push their way out of the heaviness of the dirt surrounding them; on top of them…little by little. There’s growth even in the unseen. Though they look frail & don’t have much to show for themselves right now except for a tiny little knob pushing against the gravity of the dirt, I know that in due season there will be a fruit harvest worth celebrating. As all the growing efforts are witnessed with ‘look at me now, look at how far I’ve come, look at what I have to give’. It’s been therapeutic going to the kitchen sink these days :).

  21. Laura says:

    Thanks Matt, this was really helpful! I like the focus that we need to get through this without putting undue expectations on ourselves. And at the same time, you left us with a great sense of hope. I am working through a preexisting health crisis while also trying to work through the quarantine–your words have helped me go on. XXO

  22. Nadine says:

    Hi Matthew, I needed this video right now to help keep things in perspective. I’ve been starting to feel quite low and lonely which has brought up other negative emotions of always being on my own and single and alone. I’m very sociable and work in Sales, so I talk to colleagues and customers and the time. To then go to no socialising is starting to take its toll. This video is incredibly powerful though and I will be watching it a few times. Making peace with the situation and treating loneliness like an old friend has really resonated with me, so thank you.

    I wish you well, stay safe x

  23. Lauren says:

    I LOVE this message.. And ADORE the concept/idea labeled Pain Shaming.. suffered this my entire life. Thank you for giving it a name. THANK YOU!

  24. Joanna Acevedo says:

    Thank you, spot on as always. Gotta love ya!

  25. Susan says:

    Matthew, I loved your insight and comforting message.

    Thank you

    Keep it coming!!

  26. Michelle Ruggieri says:

    Thank you, as always Mathew, for making me feel normal and validating these complex emotions we are all experiencing. Last time I saw you was in Fl for your retreat a few years back and I was struggling with letting go of what felt like the heaviest burden ever. You helped me breathe Into that space which I was trying so hard to block out and therefore it softened. This ultimately helped free my heart to fall in love again and perhaps more profound, let someone love me back. Right now your reminder of not running from this fear but welcoming it everyday with warmth and understanding is such a beautiful shift in my thought process. No words could thank you enough for the way you share your heart and wisdom with all of us.
    Much love and please stay safe and healthy ☺️

  27. Debbie says:

    Thank you Matthew…incredible as always!!!

    Send love to you and yours…

    Thank you

  28. Stéphanie says:

    Thank you so much for this video Matthew
    Needed to watch this today, as I am struggling with a breakup since last Wednesday.
    You made me cry to be honest, you always have the right words, I felt some peace during 18 minutes, it’s more that I had during the last 3 weeks, so thank you for that ❤️
    Take care,

  29. marise says:

    i can’t believe I am actually writing to you..i don’t really even know why?
    I am so emotionally drained that I can’t write enough that you would understand. all i can say is that this virus was in the beginning sort of my hope. last chance given to try save my marriage. Well…that didn’t work out for me as I have hoped. still I am distant even more from him ( as he leaves before sunrise and gets back sometime/any time/ during the evening.
    So it’s me, my two kids 6 and 4 and I am in such a state that i can not cope. Now the pain of heartbreak is indescribable. feels like I can’t breathe. My kids see and feel it and they too get affected. I must be the worst mom ever but i cant hide it nor get myself to play and home school them when i am numb.
    Then there is the the money issue. No income for both of us and my husband is out doing an amazing job to keep head above water. But he forgets that I am here ….also going through the same emotions..same struggle…we are both in the same boat. yet he excludes me from EVERYTHING. he shares nothing and I am not allowed any input although I can offer some good ideas in areas…especially if it is our new venture. But it’s not. he is sharing all with another girl. co-worker. already stepped over the line and I forgave him…but he still denies. so he left his other business for her to hang with and do ins and outs ( remember…all I know is from overhearing or asking that lead to more fights) no she has no connection to new business yet he included her immediately.
    it is so hurtful i cant explain.
    i set the boundary…but he doesnt care to anything I say or df
    Stuck at home with kids feeling useless..pathetic..ugly..angry..hopeless..failure…umlovable and stress of losing my all. it’s hard to do the smallest and simplest task. playtime is weird when there is no laughing involved. they must think I am not great at this mom thing
    i hate myself for not giving my kids the security and peace of being in a safe and secure home…their happy place filled with love. .. where they can just be kids and be and be shielded by all this goimg on. their innocence to all this is has already cracked and to me it’s my fault. that cuts even deeper. I am supposed to protect them from it yet I am too pathetic to even do that.
    i am at my end. my heart feels like it will just stop.
    fuck! am I failing to get into heaven now as Well????? cruel..but I am empty

  30. Daniela Zaharov says:

    It kind of hurts my ego :))) to be qualified as lacking empathy just because I feel very well in these times. I do have moments when I’m not feeling so well, but generally I do. I do think of other peoples’ suffering and so on, but I don’t understand why I should be down. And I’m thinking of the suffering in this world all the time, not only now. I’m just keeping myself busy work, sleep, attending online courses, connect to people via telephone. And yes, I accept that people must also die. Everything in this world dies at some point. Of course, if someone in my family died, I would suffer a lot. But this would be the case anyway, not just in these times. Do you usually spend your days crying for all the families who lose someone? So why the fuss? And I don’t like the fact that in your opinion if someone is feeling well, they are in denial or lack of empathy. It’s a narrow perspective. Maybe you should accept that someone can truly feel well without being in denial or having lack of empathy. I found myself these days suddenly realizing how fortunate I am: a can see, hear, taste, touch, smell, walk, I have food,running water, shelter over my head, clothes, job and the list of blessings is endless. Really, why shouldn’t I feel very well?? I think people are just too spoiled. Children dying in Syria have none of these. And yet we don’t think of them and empathize on a daily basis. Now suddenly we think we are in distress. We are just spoiled and ungrateful. My only suffering these days is that I’m not rich to be able to help the hospitals , the elderly, the lonely people. T did my share of donation, but it’s very small. And I try to think of every doctor, nurse, police officer, firefighter that I know, call them regularly and try to keep up their morale, as best as I can. It’s the least I can do. But still, I don’t like your way of qualifying things this time around. :-P :))) But being given that usually you’re a superkind and smart lad, I forgive you. :))) Blessings and keep up the good work! :-D

  31. Alison says:

    Thank you Matthew for that very honest and thought provoking video. Times are very strange and I’m learning to surf the waves of emotion to navigate this new world we now live in. Stay safe and well.

  32. Kasandra says:

    Hi Matt, I like what you say about modest ideas of success. That is advice that’s much more palatable. Living in Singapore, when I felt disheartened about assignments or appointments that fall through in parts of the island, later in the news, I see that they were coronavirus clusters. Now, I just feel like having a long, quiet break even as I feel worried about the impact on my work income. Singapore workplaces are closed except for essential services from tomorrow onwards. X

  33. Aurea says:

    I Love you too, and Olé for you!!!! Thank you for sharing!! One of the best videos ever!! Saludos desde México!!

  34. Kerry says:

    Matthew, this was the message I needed to hear right now. It has been quite an adjustment. I’m a person who likes my alone time to work on projects and just be. I have my moments of dread but I’m really trying to to have a positive perspective which will be imperative going forward as this social distancing and isolation gets much harder to deal with. Living alone is definitely tough but I have supportive family and friends who I can always call and lean on. I believe this will make us stronger and more resilient in the end. I also believe we will not take so much for granted.
    Thank you ❤️

  35. Donna Stevenson says:

    Bravo! especially about Pain … xoxo

  36. Suzy says:

    Thanks for this Matthew – I had a massive almost hysterical meltdown on Friday night – the aloneness felt overwhelming – I called my big brother and was reminded that those we love and are loved by are only a call/FaceTime/zoom away – today I’m keeping busy again having just managed to move into a new house a few days before lockdown so there’s lots to keep me busy but some days I just want to lie in the sun and do absolutely NOTHING and I’m not beating myself up about that xx

  37. Doreen says:

    My lifestyle hasn’t changed. What has is the being stuck indoors. I’m still expected to do my working day schedule from home. Being a single mum is tough on a normal day so this is exceptional. Homeschooling, working, keeping the house going, social distancing from my elderly dad who lives with us (our flat is not very big!) bringing deadlines on some studies I’ve committed to. Just wonder how I’m coping day to day. I go crazy some days, panic attacks and worse. With a lot of time for my brain to come up with wonderful ways to scare me even more. Managing? I’m “coping”. Tough on myself? Most definitely. Isolated? Yep! From everyone even those that do message. this is like the tree falling with no one around. If I fall and there’s no one around, does my sound matter? It’s does! To two young souls but this isolation is taking its toll.

    Thank you for you your voice resounds in me (always has)

    D x

  38. Charlotte says:

    Hello, I am recovering from damage to my eyes caused by a blow to my head @ work. It took two years of doctoring to get the diagnosis & cure which may take a year. I understand what KMM saying; now everyone is dealing with what I have been dealing with all along. Please do not kick yourself because you self sooth, we all have our own kryptonite… Just don’t live there… Be safe and contribute what you can…❣️

  39. Kh says:

    Your best video yet…

  40. Sonja says:

    I have been very lucky so far during this as I have been given more work, as others who are permanent can not work due to individual circumstances. However I still have the anxiety that once it is all over (depending on when that happens) I once again will be seen as a less valuable worker and while I know I should focus on the now, it is messing up my sleep a lot. I can take the stress of my job and I can deal but I know once it is over, it could end up being worse for me because while now I am building up my confidence because I feel important once it is over I’ll go back to feeling less.
    I still want this to be over as soon as possible because I don’t want the people I love to get sick and having parents in a higher risk bracket it can be extremely scary, since I do live with them. Plus being single I want to go out and meet new people. So I am very conflicted about it all, wanting to keep working because it gives me a sense of importance and something to do and I am actually making new friends with people whom I wouldn’t normally get to talk with and also with the earth healing itself they are all really great things, but the fear of losing someone and hearing about all the lives lost already and wanting it to be over so that life can get back to normal and we don’t have to be so physically far a part. I am very confused and conflicted about it all. Not sure how to deal, except to keep putting one foot in front of the other and hope everything will turn out ok, and try to forget feeling so lost.

  41. Andrea Pineda says:

    Thanks again Matthew. I am hoping we all see one another in May. If that doesn’t happen, please send my love to all the staff. Charlotte and Lucy have been so supportive and encouraging.

    I work with seniors in an Assisted Living. They remind me daily to keep looking at this moment. We may not be able to control this world-wide event, yet some of them lived through World War 2. They are worried, as many of us are. The thing that keeps me pushing through is knowing they depend on me staying healthy.

  42. Karen says:

    Matthew this is so moving and profound. Thank you so much for being a honest about the human condition. I love your teaching and philosophies you are a great comfort. Take care stay safe xxx

  43. Lynne says:

    Thank you for making this video. I feel a lot of the same feelings you are talking about. Sometimes you think you are the only one feeling this way. Just exhausted after doing little things sometimes. Having that One Great Hour has really helped me so much and your latest video “Am I the Only One…is so on point.
    I have been able to focus and get things done since I started my hour.I have been doing the hour since you started it. I really look forward to that time and appreciate you and your brothers (family) comradery. You bring joy into a sometimes long day. Thank you.

  44. Alice says:

    America has become the world of I want it now and some problems you can’t fix now it’s called patience something the Lord has with us every day. I have grown up what the hearing deficiency just like the lady you talked about in your video that was legally blind there’s a lot of things that I didn’t ever get to hear like birds chirping Cricket’s walking Locust has humming cars behind me but I don’t hear but I have learned patience I have learned to read people’s lips I have learned to let people go first because sometimes I don’t hear what they say life is not always a choice of what you’re given but you have to make the best of it I myself have been a healthcare worker for 12 years I left my job a week and a half ago because I feared that the facility that I work that was not given us proper protection there’s only so much that we have in our control the rest is left up to God our creator the man we’re supposed to have faith in he is speaking to us now and the sad thing is nobody’s listening because they’re too busy thinking of their selves. I myself have learned that life will give you patience if you’re just patient with life. Don’t take for granted Walmart, Hy-Vee grocery store, QuikTrip all these places have taught us but you’re going to get everything right now our heavenly father created this Earth not for us to abuse it not to be greedy with it but to live off of it learn from your solar systems learn from your zodiac signs learn how to read the universe that’s what God’s trying to tell us. I study and the stars and the moon’s and the planets because it has so much to tell you and right now everybody zodiac sign has got Venus and Saturn in their shine Venus is a love planet Saturn can be kind of a buzzkill so you pick and choose what planet or what universe you want to feel positive about. I myself have learned to live moment by moment because even though you’re hateful even though you’re better even though your being greedy because one day our heavenly father I was going to come and take one of your loved ones one of your enemies somebody that you didn’t like but you didn’t really even know them then how are you going to feel not in control because God controls our Earth and this is his way a cleansing his home. So the people of the United States needs to bring God back into our government, back into our schools, back into our workplaces and most of all back in our hearts. So for once go back to one of God’s wishes Thou shalt Love Thy Neighbor that’s how we respect our elders Thou shalt not kill no one. but this is what this world has come to so instead of thinking about yourself and how miserable you are why don’t you see who the next person as you can help because you never know the footprints the gods carried that person the pain and the suffering or even the happiness that they’ve been through. I would love to go back to the days where everything was about the land and how you had to survive. It would bring so much World Peace back into our universe that just maybe America could be happy instead of thinking how come I don’t have what they have. America you have made this a materialistic world which has turned into greed, selfishness. Try waking up everyday and thanking God for the roof over your head and look around the room and thank you for the things that you have not because of him but because of Technology a man-made thing not our Heavenly father’s creator. I hope but the words I just wrote can help just one person that’s all it takes is one person and then it becomes like a ripple effect. Be proud to be one nation under God be proud of your freedom. Thank God everyday that’s your wealthy in health. No matter how much money I have I will never take for granted my five senses my taste my smell mysite my hearing and my ability to walk with two healthy legs and two healthy arms so instead of being part of the problem America try to be part of the solution. Just stop and thank about what you say or what you do to another human which is God’s children which we are love each other lift each other up and prayers. the only time you should ever look down on somebody is to help them up. from this day forward try and see how this crisis can bring you out of better person with a little bit more compassion for the people around you. for God gave his only forgotten son for your sins and today he still paying for your sins for how you treat his creation. so go back to your families wave across the street to your neighbors get to know your neighbors get the drugs get the guns get the violence off the streets. Right now America you are not acting any better then any of those people that I just spoke of because you’re all out there fighting over things you think you need to survive. God will always make sure you have what it takes to survive. I wish each and every one have you people the best of luck during this tragedy in our world. Makes you thank about all our military men and women that are in other countries doing without so you can have your freedom.

  45. Mariana Macedo says:

    Likes very much the vídeo reflection, thank you so much It really help us to understand that se are not alone and the ONLY feeling certain things in consequence of this global circumstances. It’s so Nice to feel that i even identify with your ideas and opiniões! Thank you for sharing and be able to put yourself out here! Best wishes and congratulations for all your amazing work!

  46. CLAIRE ROSE says:

    Just when I thought you couldnt get any smarter! Well done.
    Chin up…

  47. Barbara Tobey says:

    From an earlier video, you advised us to accomplish something every day so that when we get on the other side of this pandemic we can look back and remind ourselves we did, in fact, take advantage of our isolation. You said the worst thing we could do to ourselves was nothing and to feel a sense of time lost and wasted from this experience.

    I have shared that concept with many others so they too can feel in control and powerful in a time of uncertainty and fear.

    I wrote the word “accomplish” on my board to remind myself to accomplish at least one thing every day. I have been sewing fabric masks for family, friends, and a nursing home as way to contribute to help others. I am spring cleaning my home, trying to sort and reorganize 3’ at a time. Today I started cleaning up winter’s mess in my yard. It is a huge undertaking. I reminded myself to slice off one piece of bread at a time- small accomplishments that when repeated will add up over time.

    I am also for the first time in my life practicing self care and I am feeling happy that I can live alone by myself. I reach out to my children every few days and have explained that I enjoy hearing their voices and I need to be in touch with them. I have asked them for their compassion, have told them I miss their company (another of Matt’s observations) and it is important to me to feel connected to them even when they are not physically present.

    I have to say I would not be in this positive mental state if it had not been for your insights on your videos. You have helped me grow more than I could have anticipated. Please know what you do is powerful. You help us grow, one video at a time. Thank you for helping me become the person I want to be!

  48. Brenda says:

    Awww Matt, I love you too! You know what, we are not truly alone in this, we are all together in spite we cannot have contact between each other. A few days before, I read a common phrase that said This too shall pass, and when I start to feel bad about this, I try to remember that phrase and it have had help me. Send you a big hug

  49. Marisol says:

    “Surrender doesn’t mean giving up” I share this concept and I always try to put it into practice in my life. 2 years ago I made the decision to end a 6 year relationship. Even though I knew it was the right decision, I was sad and deeply hurt. I had to learn to be patient with myself, just as I’m patient with others. Now it was my turn, this time it was me who was sad and couldn’t be productive as usual, this time it was me who didn’t smile in talks with friends, this time it was me who didn’t train as often. So after going through the angry stage with myself, I just surrendered on what was happening. I accepted that maybe training once a week was enough at this moment in my life, working less because I couldn’t focus, it was fine for now. Once I accepted the situation, I began to notice positive changes in my life, that concept transformed me. And it’s funny, in those moments I welcomed my tears. Some days I found myself working or watching a movie and I started feeling it, the tears were coming… They didn’t care if I was working or if I was on the street, no, they were coming anyway… I learned to welcome those tears, I learned to embrace those tears… I even laughed with them. I usually told myself “Ah look at you, here you come again. Hello. Well, I’ll let you stay for awhile but then let’s do something else” By having more self-compassion I found salvation. And today I can say that although I lived through difficult times, I really believe that pain filled me with learning and helped me to adapt better to other dificult situations like we’re all going through right now. Therefore, this moment of isolation should not be the exception, difficult situations are those that best prepare us for our lives. Let’s take it with patience, self-compassion and learning every day. Thanks again Matthew for another honest and extremely helpful video :)

  50. Victoria says:

    Thank you.. you made this uncomfortable time feel more comfortable somehow. There is much to be said in the “surrendering” to get to the peace. God bless you & please stay well and stay in touch. Sending love & cyber hugs!

  51. Joanne says:

    Matt, as usual, you’re right on… I’m someone who is really tactile, loves people, therefore this time is difficult… However, using techniques similar to the ones you describe, I find myself adapting to and even accepting the situation… I even found myself enjoying working from home for the first time yesterday, even though I I work with fab people, and miss my colleagues… Yes, I have difficult times as we all are, but I’m adapting to it, as humans do, we’re amazing animals.. . Thanks again Matt, love to you and your family… Stay safe.. Xxx

  52. ELIZABETH says:

    The video was beautiful thanks

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