Matthew was again invited back to talk over at the BBC, this time on BBC London Radio about why women just aren’t getting the guys they want. It seems women are falling into the same patterns and traps that have crippled their success with men and dating.
What you shouldn’t do is settle for less, not only does this prevent you from meeting guys that you ACTUALLY want, it pushes you into “fake relationship” that can only end one way.
Here’s some of what’s covered in the interview:
- Why the internet is harming our social lives
- The things your friends SHOULD be telling you but don’t
- Why men are not calling you back after the first date
- Why our seminars work
- How to be a “high value” woman
Listen to it now:
[audio:http://www.gettheguy.co.uk/site/wp-content/audio/talks/bbc-london-radio-interview.mp3]We’d love to hear your views on the interview and any questions you may have, so make sure you comment below…
I get pleasure from, result in I discovered just what I used to be looking for. You’ve ended my four day lengthy hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye
Mathew,
I’m 50 so I’ve seen alot. Don’t BS me. Men go for younger women because younger women can have babies even if the man has children he will have more with his second or third wife. I’ve seen not once many times over and am still seeing it. The older women can’t, and most of us have already have children and we don’t want to do it again. Were done, we’re ready for life without raising children because we’ve done it. Men will just keep having them! Went to a wedding over the weekend bride was 27 & beautiful, groom ordinary nothing to write home about 45 has two teen kids with wife #1 and they already have two kids together! I’m seeing this pattern over and over and over. These young girls are so desperate to be married with children it’s a sad phenonomen :( And they do it because the young guys won’t marry them.
Matthew, very interesting! I liked the idea that to be playful and youthful is more important than the actual age. This being said, my experience is that my being playful and youthful (which I am spontaneously, so to speak) gets me a lot of friendship and sincere smiles from guys my age, who laugh with me and enjoy my company… and then turn to younger women (as a rule of thumb, under 30 years of age) when they think about a romantic relationship. I am 43, I look quite nice, and I am not desperate or needy in the least. But I look my age, of course. In turn, the only men who show a genuine romantic interest in me are men above 50 and even above 55 or even 60 – which might be a positive thing, I don’t know, we’ll see how it turns out. But my point is, when I was under 30 I attracted guys my age AND older men, and now I attract ONLY much older men. I am more attracted to guys my own age myself (as I was when I was younger), but I have the feeling I don’t have much of a chance with them anymore – and men that I know who divorced girlfriends my age systematically get together with much younger women after that. Again I’m just observing and not judging, and I repeat that this might not be bad, but don’t you think that there is a pattern here?
It’s true playfulness is what makes it fun–even for guys–age doesn’t really matter. There’s a guy that I was having second thoughts about because im 22 and he’s 10 years older than me, but I like his energy. Now my doubt is if the situation changes when he tells me he has 3 children: 15, 9, and 4 from two different girls and has never been married. He tells me I am the 1 he wants to Marry and be with forever because he says im everything he’s not. Should I believe him?
Hey Adri….you would be absolutely crazy to believe this guy. Sorry for making a quick judgement, but it sounds to me like he probably said exactly the same things to baby mama 1 and baby mama 2…. You have to have values and match him against this. If he is that serious about you, then he should prove this by making a serious commitment to you.
Hi,
It’s not so much age that matters, but experiences.
I’m 41 but most people think that I’m in my early 30. I’m playful openhearted and most definitely surprising. I attract and are attracted to men in there 30 as well. Sometimes it’s true that the biological clock plays a role simply that they’re not ready to have children and I can’t wait longer but that’s not really an issue since they don’t fit in my life anyway. The issue for me is mostly that I’ve become more careful to whom I release my sexuality to. I like to know that a guy is right for me before I get involved. If I start hitting on them and let the sexual attraction run wild, yes sure it will get me the guy, simply because he goes mad. But if he’s not right for me it becomes and emotional messy business and by now I’m done with that. So I prefer becoming good friends first, lots of fun and playfulness. But the problem is that by the time that I’m ready for more, the guy already decided that there is no sexual attraction, he really wants to stay friends but he’s already turned to another women. So it’s not an age problem but more an experience thing that has made me careful of showing sexual attraction to a guy who I’m not sure about yet. Any tips on when is the right time and how to show sexual interest once you get to know someone and not just at first sight when you find someone attractive?
If you watch Ready For Love you will find the answer in Angela Zapotek. She is a virgin by choice, who is fully confident in her sexuality, and it shows. The problem with some of us, isn’t that we’re waiting, it’s that something in our body language gives the impression that it’s not even in our personality.
Angela is waiting for marriage, but with her, any guy would be counting the days til that marriage night.
hey Matthew,
this sounds really cool and helpful! thank you so much :) confidence is my problem, guys say i am pretty but i just don’t believe it…
-Roberta
Matthew..you are so right…the personality is the key. Hey Matt, I used some of your techniques at the gym and yes it is working..but am going back to test those tomorrow perhaps. Oh ya one more, I am trying to change that what you called a “killing look” to more friendly one. Well, the fact is….it is very hard to make that flirty-girly movement when I feel attracted to any guy..nervous system alert Matt. All-right then, have a wonderful day…doodles eat noodles hehe! Bye!
this conversation helps me relax and laugh :p love it, you sound great and say amazing stuff as always :D
That was a good question, looks or age does matter in a descent way. I mean sometimes we all can tell if a person is in good health or not that’s one of the most important things a person should be able to manage. Same goes for age
I think age is about how people perceive you, not how old you are on paper. Plenty of men think I’m 10-15 years younger, even to where a cop trying to pick me up grilled me on my age and insisted I was younger before pulling his badge out on me. Men, even younger ones are sometimes perceptibly much older than their paper stated age…even balding prematurely. One thing;- I don’t think M.H. is that attractive since I prefer men who have darker features. Something I can’t get over every time he has a presentation. It’s chronically annoying.
Hi, Matt interview was great! you are on point about older women.I’m in my forties and have never had a problem attracting someone younger than I. Before your book I did fairly ok with guys. Even when I was in a relationship, guys would come up to me and buy me drinks.(whether my partner was there or not, very bold I thought) LOL …. I’ve always been comfortable about my age and I guess that shows in the way I carry myself. It’s me sometimes the one that has to turn the 20 yr olds down :( In reading your book and putting the techniques to work it’s ridiculos the responses I get. I’ll share this quick story that happened yesterday at the AT &T store. I go in to talk to someone about a problem I’m having with my phone. This representative was obviously a guy. I hand over my phone and he sees the picture on the screen of my daughters and I. He makes a comment: Theres no way you have a teenage daughter!!! (compliment) I thanked him without giving him my age.The whole time we were discussing my phone we were flirting back and forth. At one point he asked if I wanted to upgrade the phone and I said NO. He asked if I did not like CHANGE? which puzzled me for a sec. But I responded: I embrace change and I’m always up for a good challenge. But I love my phone and it’s not broken and it’s fixable. He chuckled and said WOW!! It’s like that.. So, as an older women I do have the balls in my court… Experience, your book,videos have added to being more approachable than ever even when I’m at my worst… So for those non believers of your work I’m living proof!! And it’s only been 3wks
thanks for everything your the best you r soo smart about everything
When you live in a small city,stucked in a bad relationship,and know everybody. It not just that you have to
break- up, scared to be alone, maybe move to another city, but then what about the job,the children, the house, the friends.Internet is a pretend world.So there could be other limits than jsut yourself !
Start looking for the job. Send out applications, show up for interviews. Once you have the job, the other decisions will be easier to make as you will have the independence to not be making them out of fear.
“How many times have you been let down by a guy or you think that
the only reason he’s not calling you back is because of your age?
An even better question to ask yourself would be… do you think
age really matters? I mean REALLY means that much to guys?”
Honestly, I haven’t been in that situation and I don’t see myself in that type of situation…not even in my 80’s ;). However, I can see how age can be a factor that men take into consideration when choosing a mate and wanting to start a family etc…for obvious biological reasons. I truly believe though that it all has to due with the energy one transmits to others, especially to men. Men are not as complicated as we think. They want someone who makes them feel young and who makes them get the most out of life. And who doesn’t want that?! We want that, too! Law of attraction. Enough said.
I’m 27 and I’ve never felt better. I’ve attracted both younger and older men more than I ever have before. I know this has nothing to do with my age or my looks, it has to do with my outlook on life and how I share that. It really is about waking up in the morning with a smile on your face and pure gratitude for a brand new day and for all the amazing people in your life and the amazing people that have yet to be a part of your life.
And on those crappy days, it’s about surrounding yourself with positive messages whether on your mirror or on your desk as friendly reminders…when you see them…BOOM…you feel different. You internalize these messages and thus transmit that. I don’t want to get cliché-ish, but I will anyways lol…it really is all about LOVE. Waking up full of love, doing what you love, sharing your love with others, being nice and genuine…it’s absolutely beautiful and extraordinary where this takes you in life and the difference it makes not only your life, but in the lives of others as well.
AGE DOESN’T MATTER. LET”S CHANGE THOSE ASSOCIATIONS IN REGARDS TO AGE BY CHANGING OUR OUTLOOK AND NOT FOCUSING ON AGE ITSELF BECAUSE IT”S NOT ABOUT THAT.
This could not be more true:
“And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the LIFE in your years” :)
Lots of love to you Matt and to all the beautiful women that are wanting to maximize their quality of life by changing their outlook on life to attract what they truly want and deserve in life. Yes, I said ‘life’ 3 times lol…3’s a charm, right? Make it happen and like Matthew says…
“MAKE YOUR MOVE” ;)…regardless of your age.
One of the happiest couples I know have a 15 year age difference. She’s now 60 and he’s 45. They met when she was 36 and he was 21. Needless to say, she strongly recommends I should find myself a younger man – hahaha!!
I dont think age matters….my mom is older than my father…about seven years! I think its genetic…LOL! because im attracted to younger guys, or like my friends calls: “she like the guys “like backstreetboys..”! ^_^ but im not that person that attracts people….all my friends are always asking me…why are u single? u are so funny, cute and friendly..! and im like….yeah, why am i single? ^_^ but i think its bcause im not a hot girl…thats why…! then….matty will say, where is ur confidence….? :P
I think older men (more often than not divorced) go out with younger women because that’s who they meet in bars and pubs. Women their own age aren’t there. So if that’s who’s on the menu – that’s who they’ll choose. I’m divorced and 50 and only have married friends. How can I go into a pub/bar by myself? A man can – nothing strange about that. But a woman of my age going in by herself? You can imagine the signals that sends.
You don’t need to meet people in bars. Meet them at the Library, or a book club, or an art gallery or at any place that is of interest to you. That way you’ll be meeting people with common interests rather than meeting people with an interest in booze/pulling. Best of luck.
Great blog Matt. Age is an interesting topic. I am 19 years old and I am attracted to older men because guys my age are just not mature. However it is difficult for me to even approach an older guy because I am worried that age will be important to them and so I don’t even bother.
Sorry to sound so clueless, but what am I supposed to tap to play the clip?
I’ll try on my Mac instead of my iPhone.