I still remember every heartbreak I’ve ever had.
If I try I can still bring back the agony of those months after a relationship ended, wondering if I was ever going to feel better and get back to my normal self. When you’re feeling that pain of losing someone, food doesn’t taste good. TV shows depress you. Your favourite places feel cursed because they bring back bittersweet memories. Life feels like white noise, and your every waking moment goes back to that feeling of loss and pain.
We’ve all been there, right? But there is a secret to emotionally recovering from a breakup, one that is shockingly simple but so crucial that if you forget to do it, you will inadvertently DOUBLE the amount of time it takes to get over your ex. See, most of us make bad decisions in a breakup. We drink to numb the pain, we have one-night stands with people we don’t care about, or we eat ourselves into oblivion with junk food.
It sucks now, I know. But it will get better, trust me…
Matthew,
Have you seen the “Date-O-Nomics” book that just came out – about the gap between college educated men and women – and as the gap gets wider the younger people get? good read. I’d already resigned myself to being open minded and not requiring a college degree from every dude I date – but man, the stats are heartbreaking …
Hi Matthew,
I really like your video, what you’ve said is true, but for me, that cure is only temporary. Is so difficult to forget. I’ve been trying my best to get over but I feel better only for a while.
I think the only CURE for broken heart is: to find someone really really better than your ex before. But how to do it if you take a risk so many time, you meet with different guys and only what you do is comparison to your ex, because my silly brain only thinks that my ex is unrepeatable, obvious there is no the same person.
Hi Jadzia, (Star Trek fan? :0)
I’m just a fellow woman struggling through relationships, and I wanted say that your advice to find someone better than your ex doesn’t always work. I was with a man who was moving on from his ex (though I didn’t know at the time), and he outright told me how I was so much better and was about to take that step to love me forever. I was perfect for him. But, as soon as he was about to give me his heart, he realized that he still loved his ex deeply even though it was impossible for him to be with her. So he broke up with me because it was unfair to me, and he didn’t know how long it would take for him to get over her (or if he ever would, apparently their relationship was quite traumatic). Finding someone much better clearly didn’t work for him and broke me in the process.
So here I am watching this video. My plan is to progress as Matt says, and slowly break my habit of constantly thinking of him and make new memories in our old spots so I remember those first and not the ones with him.
Take care and good luck! xoxo
Matthew,
Your sincerity, honesty, and compassion is so incredibly apparent and more appreciative than I think you may realize. I love the way you articulate your advice and I am wholly grateful for the encouragement and support you continue to give those of us still trying to “figure things out.”
Keep it up hun. You’re fantastic!
I am selling one e-ticket for the live event of London 19th September. Unfortunately I could not attend. Please contact me if you wish to buy it;
Thank you for this. I am coping after a 8 year relationship 4 months ago my ex left me bc he was tired and done. I was sucidal and even approached him. He told me to grow up and he still said no. He’s cold. He’s ignored me in public. He unfriended me. He broke up bc I missed his bros wedding due to finals. He even broke up with me the day before my finals on the phone. I still love him and I tried to fix us. I don’t know if there is hope and if not I need help to move on bc I can’t focus on anything else
This is what I really needed to watch and listen to, it has motivated me, as this is what I have been doing since I’ve got my heart really broken for the first time, although I have been in relationships before but I’ve always moved on so fast and never felt really heart broken, but the last one was so different, it felt so real, magical and everything was going great but all of the sudden after 8 months of dating-I know its not too long which makes me see the bright said of it- but he hurt me a lot when he said that he is not “in love with me” and he does not feel “the spark”, although he is the one who tried so hard to get me and to convince me to go on a date with him, he tried so hard to make me feel something for him, he was good and sweet with me and treated me so well. I am sure there is something that I have done wrong, but now I don’t even want him back all I want is a new proper relationship that lasts and makes me forget completely about him, the saddest part that he cut me off completely, its been 4 months now and he didn’t even bother checking if I am well or not as I live away from home and he meant to be something in this life I have away from home, he made me really feel like home, he introduced me to his parents, relatives and friends, he filled my life with joy and love, and then he just disappeared, I missed his face, his voice, his stories, I even missed his father the most as I used to enjoy chilling with him. I am working so hard on focusing on my future I started a complete new life style I joined afternoon classes as well as gym classes and I am focusing so much on succeeding in my studies, but at the end of the day I find myself missing him so much. I decided to let the time do the work as I did all I can do to get over him, sometimes I think of contacting him but I know I will get hurt even more, so yah this video has really pushed me to continue wha I am doing, now I know I am on the right path :D
Thank you so much x
I felt compelled to find a way to let you know the time you took to make such a sincere video about this made a difference to me.
I’ve never really been “touched” by something before.
Towards the end of this video, when you explain that you really know how it feels, I believed you, and it was what I needed to hear.
I don’t open up much to people close to me about stuff like this, so I’ve always found your blogs and messages to be helpful when I need this type of advice or guidance.
I’m certain you get thousands of emails with everyone’s personal stories a day.
I just wanted to tell you that you made a pretty solid impact on my day, and I appreciate how passionate you are about helping people.
Thanks,
hi, what do I do? I am in friends with befits for two years its abit long distance but we meet up every few months. we went away for aweekend in york in uk . we where drinking and we where in a pub I am fed up arguing over him thiking I wanting him and into a relationship. he said I not wanting a relatoinship with anyone and his kids come first ad he not picking girls up I said I believed in him I was fed up and I wasnt looking a relationship I was wanting to loose contact with him. he came back with where in a relatetionship 3times and i said we are not and didt know what we where and we made up.i was on the phone and mention this I trust him but still working out what we are. O ok he said. being mary berry he was making bread that made so cross anyway he said he was listerning to me ,I said in text your right where in sort of relationship. he basiculy said where did you get that idea from so rely forget it. I am phoning him to tomorrow . I am not sure how he be or what I should say? I have due to go and booked tickets to london show with him.I have been heart broken over this
Thank you ;) that really helped, Feels good to know that somebody outhere Takes heartache serious.
Greetings from Bavaria
Wish you could have one of your retreats here.
Hi Matt,
How are you? I tried to get in contact with you via your email address. What have you been up to? I’ve been following your videos ever since I was 15. It’s been a pleasure to see you grow over the years. I’m proud of the way you handle your business. Are you planning on coming to Australia some time in the future?
Warm regards,
Kat
There is a gap in the market for advice on Short Relationships. All of the advice is for longterm relationships when they end, but short intense relationships that can end, can be as painful and quite interesting to look into. Has anyone seen advice on this topic as well as getting a short term ex back, as often you won’t have the arguments or negative memories, but you will have the sudden whirlwind that’s come to an end suddenly for whatever reason?
I would agree with you. I just got blindsided with a guy who I was seeing for a month choosing someone over me 4 days after spending a great weekend with me.
Thank you
I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: _______________{{{{robinson.buckler ((@)) yahoo . com}}}}__________ you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything._____________________________
Eden Rose Pala-og