“Do I Have to Change to Get the Guy?”

On January 1, everyone tells themselves, “I’m going to diet, get in shape, feel more confident, meet a great guy, and learn how to have an amazing relationship.”

But then we have to actually do it… (gulp). And that’s harder than it sounds.

Don’t panic: In my first blog video of 2017, I’ll reveal the crucial, exact steps to restarting your love life this year, so that you can finally get the incredible partner you deserve…

►► Use these scripts to attract any man you choose… >>> GettheScripts.com

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

39 Responses to “Do I Have to Change to Get the Guy?”

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  1. HoJo says:

    Matt!! That one deserved a fist pump!! I’m ready for 2017, Whoop!! Keep ’em coming xx

  2. Jen says:

    Great video and perspective on taking on the New Year! But don’t you think when people say ‘be yourself’ they really are just reminding someone to relax and not fret too much about trying too hard. I know when I like someone or get nervous I forget that sometimes, and being reminded not to try too hard is a good reality check! Just a thought :)

  3. Gill says:

    Great video, I really appreciate all the advice and inspiration on how to become your best self.

    However, you’re being hard on both your audience and yourself! Lots of people believe that in order to succeed, you have to be hard on yourself. Researchers Brene Brown, Kirstin Neff and colleagues found that the opposite is true actually – being too hard on yourself can lead to excess stress, procastination and giving up your goal(s) altogether.

    Fortunately these clever people also found a solution – self-compassion. It can make a big difference to learn how to be compansionate with yourself while trying to become the best you can be and achieving your goals.

    I really recommend checking out the work of Kirstin Neff!

    ps why are you still reading this, check out the work!

  4. tigress866 says:

    So here I am. I just broke off the eengagement after nearly 6 months engaged and wedding planning, 21 months since our first date.

    It was an amazing adventure!
    Everything wasn’t perfect but it flowed. Even our arguments lasted little more than ten minutes and I saw he valued me and my son in every way.


    He allowed his mom to instigate fights, actually bully me, spread rumors to family about me, generally lie and disrespect me. That showed me I was NOT his priority and time to stop – as Matt says – overinvesting.

    So after I watched him give his mom the first kiss of the new year (with even his dad discouraged about it) I took it not so much as an indivually critical action as a symbolic one that said I will always come second when it really matters.

    I got mad. Told him to leave. He went back home to mom quite easily.
    Perhaps I’m mad at myself for missing it… Not seeing it sooner?

    Ah well,
    time to regroup and reboot the system!

    Happy New Year Matt! ✨✨

  5. Kit says:

    Is it just me or is Matt more sexy! Happy 2017.



  7. Prasida Newman says:

    For the first time I walked away from a guy who likes me but told me that I’m not his priority. It may be a timing issue but I considered what you would say. I heard, if I stay then I’m actually reducing the chances of him ever making me a priority because he will see that I have a low standard.
    Thank you for the inspiration!

  8. Marcia says:

    Love the video. Matt you are so inspirational. Thanks for the jump start to 2017.
    Less cursing please. The message will still be effective with it..

    Happy New Year. X

  9. Julie MacKenzie says:

    I love the videos…Keep them coming….Great advice as usual! Happy New Year Matthew! Hugs! ;) <3

  10. Brenda says:

    Hi Matthew,
    As part of my New Years I am writing to those people that have made a difference in my life and you are one. Going to your retreat helped my self confidence and I am no longer scared to live alone. I no longer accept bad behavior from men that dont meet my standards. I have learned how to be a good story teller and I have learned how to ace a first date thanks to you. I can work a room like a pro now and I can flirt with almost anyone. I have made a life filled with the things I enjoy. I am 60 years old this year and I am still looking for Mr Right – but I know it is just a matter of time. I know that quality people are hard to find and I have been out on more than 100 dates this year. I am not settling again for someone that treats me badly. Thank you Matthew – you have shown me the way. Big Hugs from Vancouver

  11. Susanna says:

    Great!!! Best video and messsge – thanks!!

  12. Martina says:

    Ok, let´s do it this year :-)

  13. Nellie says:

    Love the video, Matt!!! Very inspiring, as always. xoxo

  14. Sian says:

    Thank Matt xx

    Great first video for 2017 and a happy new year to you xx

    I love that you’re just so ‘blunt and honest’ you just said it as it is and that’s a great quality!!

  15. Disa Jardine says:

    Hiya, Matt & Jameson!

    Happy New Year to you & yours! May 2017 be all you hope for and may you even get a few delightful surprises sprinkled in, for good measure!

    You know, Matt, you asked a question: “…too salty…?” But I say, “not salty enough!!” Lol! For this shall be the year that I get tough with myself. No more Mrs. Nicegirl!(I refer to my inner dialogues).

    Yep, this is the year I shall be implementing all that I’ve learned from you (and others in my life) and seeing what adventures await me!!

    Matt, you’re an awesome life coach, but more than that, you’re a stinking amazing Adventure Coach! Luv u lots!

    Lotsa luv,

    Disa Jardine <3

  16. Maria H says:

    Bringing that energy! Amazing pep talk to light that fire under my ass. Motivating as always. Thank you for all your work Matthew. Your advice over this year has truly changed my life. So much gratitude for the authenticity you deliver.

  17. Lynda says:

    Loved the honesty and the pep talk, keep it up!

  18. Sara Santos says:

    It’s great advice in video for the first day of 2017 and for all the days to come, Matt.
    If you ever consider reaching to more portuguese people, using translation of your texts and subtitles, I would love to help.
    Best wishes to you!
    Your portuguese fan,
    Sara S.

  19. c says:

    Happy New year Matt & Jameson!

    I’m with you on this project to improve my skills this 2017.

    Love the video as always!

  20. Nathalie Smith says:

    LOVE LOVE LOVE this video!! woot Woot!! I am ready for this project!

  21. Darla says:

    Happy New Year! Yes, welcome to 2017. So, true what you say about being yourself in front of the camera. I’ve been doing video resume submissions and I’m finding it very difficult to “be myself” in that format. Also, during the interview process. You make it look so easy! That is just one area of competence for me this year that I will improve.

    • Syd says:

      Hey. I am learning to be on camera as well. It can be difficult because there is no ‘audience’ in front of you to gauge or speak to. But that is exactly the key, IMO.

      Speak to the camera, keeping your audience in mind and directly address them AS IF they are watching you and you can see them through the lens of the camera. Try that and let me know if it helps!

  22. NileQueen says:

    Yeah, too salty. I’m already a doer. I already don’t put up with people walking on me…Happy New Year

  23. Lisa says:

    Love you too, Matthew. I’m in. I’ve bought your book, and Calling in the One, and I’m going to have a project of refining my best self this year, through the fire. Thank you for standing in the fire with me.

  24. Erika says:


    Eres hermoso! Feliz año 2017!

  25. Marita says:

    Happy New Year! This was the best way to start the first day of 2017 :-)!

  26. Syd says:

    you are SO cute!! This is the best way to learn.

    • Syd says:

      Is this like the SAT II circa 2003 – where every comment I make that is not quite delivered to the desired effect is MINUS 1/4 points?

      I used to guess all the time, anyway. Depends on how many answer choices you can eliminate. So far, I’d say I am looking at A, B, C, D AND E – for a guess fruition percentage of 20%. Plus the risk of 0.25 loss.

      I am obsessed with the word “fruition” and have a feeling this will continue into 2017. I think FRUITION is my Word of the Year.

      Matthew Hussey is my crush of the year. We all need that one special person, whether they are located in cyberspace or reality. But I’m sure you are located in reality, somewhere.

      If you are not single, I would feel really bad. I do not play multiple choice games with men who I know are taken. I don’t sign up for that course. Nope.

      And course could also refer to food of course. But that’s not what I meant. I just made a pun. This comment has come to fruition.

  27. A 30 year old guy says:

    Hi Matt, this is totally unrelated to your video but i desperatly need your help.

    I’ve had feelings for this girl for almost as long as I can remember. We are in the same friend circle. We have always been flirting, been on trips together, worked out together, and of course we see eachother at parties.
    We have always been in the “danger zone” of what is acceptable to do/behave, since she is a loyal girlfriend, and I am not chasing a woman that’s taken in that way. She is also my hairdresser. We both have jobs. I am a little overweight, but in good condition, have broad shoulders etc. She is slim and fit.
    She recently came out of a almost 10 year long relationship, because they drifted apart over that time. She was working out, he was always on the couch and they ended up doing nothing together.
    So when that finally happened, I was starting to get my hopes up, but I also wanted to give her the space she needs to figure things out and adjust to her new reality. So after the summer, I started some courses at school, and doing my things. I started to distance myself a little on purpose, just to give her space, and see how far out she was willing to let me slip.
    I don’t know if she interpreted that as me losing interest in her or what. We have never had “the talk” in sober condition face to face. Because things were so complicated, felt so risky, and I have never mustered up the courage to do it.
    I am 30, and she turns 30 now in a few days. I recently got back in touch with her to make it less awkward to give her a present face to face. A week before, she texted me and wondered if I was coming to this place were everyone goes out in our town. I went there and met her, we started flirting, she wanted me to escort her to the bathroom holding my hand and complaining about how long it had been.
    I freak out in these situations, partly because I have very strong feelings, but she took too long on the bathroom, so I just went out talking with my friends and went home. Before it closed, both she and her best friend invited me to a afterparty at her place. But I couldn’t handle it, so I blamed it on being drunk and went home.
    And after that we were still back in our usual place, sending long texts, talking about anything, and agreeing to work out together and hang a little again. Since some of our friends have kids now, it was not natural for us to be spending new year’s together this time.
    So when I asked her what she was doing this year, I got a text back that she was just going to some place in the city where it would be a calm celebration with her friends because everybody there had kids. We are from the same place, so we know a lot of the same people. Therefore, I asked if it’s anybody I know. She dodged that question. And I didn’t want to pry so I let it go.
    Then yesterday, I got a text from her wishing me happy new year. (In part an answer to a previous text I’ve sent her). Thought it was a little strange to do so so early in the afternoon, but didn’t think more of it. We snapped and texted a little in that evening, but I noticed that it took a long time for her to check my snaps. (She usually responds right away, and is usually the first one to view my snapchat “my story”) Wished her happy new year back, and didn’t think more of it.
    Then, me and another guy goes to our mutual friend’s other party later in the night, where I run into her cousin. There, I mention that she seemed quite bored tonite, and he mentions that she has a new boyfriend! It was like getting a knife through the heart, and I just went home. Wandered around in my living room calling myself dumb and how could I be so stupid ever since.
    I feel like I am part of a comedy here, what do I do? Why did she not want to tell me she had a new boyfriend, when she clearly already mentioned him to her family at christmas? Is this the ultimate friendzone / being played by a woman? Do I give her the present? Do I need to have “the talk” with her? Or do I do nothing? She is all that I care and think about. Never felt so helpless……

  28. Julie says:

    Happy New Year Matt! Thank you for this video! “Who do I want to be this year?” is intoxicatingly motivating. You f*#@ing rock. ❤️U. Julie xo

  29. Annie says:

    First of all Mathew and your team…. Happy New Year 2017. You have just made my day with your positive and honest first blog of the year. Thank you.



  30. Jordan Trent says:

    Happy New Year Matt and the guys!
    My first video of the year and it’s kickin ass!
    Exactly what I needed to hear.
    I woke up thinking the same thing, “who do I want to be and what tools do I need to be me”
    You, Matt, are one of those tools.
    Thanks for everything that ‘you’ bring x

  31. Charlotte says:

    Salty for sure, but true :)

  32. Grace says:

    So happy I saw this, Thanks Matt, so inspirational <3

  33. Elisabet says:

    Let’s do this! Thanks for your awesome videos and support. It’s my time to shine now <3

  34. Mack says:

    U swear too much

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