3 REAL Cures For Loneliness…

I realized a huge truth about getting rid of loneliness that I didn’t mention in last week’s video.

Learn this simple-yet-powerful concept, and you’ll have an essential tool to create happy, meaningful relationships and feel connected again…

►► You don’t have to do it alone. Let’s take this life-changing journey together…MatthewHusseyRetreat.com

431 Responses to 3 REAL Cures For Loneliness…

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  1. Emma says:

    I related to this video so much, I started sobbing while I was watching it. My partner has pulled back from me and I feel very lonely and disconnected. We don’t really TALK anymore. In the way you mentioned, having meaningful conversations and feeling connected in a meaningful way. I’ve tried remaining vulnerable and open so he feels safe to do the same, but now when I feel loneliest is when I open up to him about something and he isn’t interested. I feel like he is sick of me. I’ve also tried not bothering him with things but it leads to feeling very isolated disconnected because I don’t feel like I can share the things that are important to me.

  2. Karen says:

    Hi Matt
    I cannot thank you enough for all you do – not only with your amazing advice on dating but life in general.

    I start out shy but once my comfort level is good, I open up. The more I trust a person, the more I let them in. I am very passionate and excitable by nature and one of the rules I live by is to build people up instead of tearing them down. I am fascinated by people – why they do what they do, why they think what they think and I always want whomever I’m talking to to know that they have my full attention and that I appreciate them for who they are and what they have been through.

    I am no stranger to vulnerability. I often show that side of myself and maybe, I show it a little too much sometimes but like I said, if I feel comfortable with someone and I want to know them well, its only fair that they know me too.

    My success rate of people returning that vulnerability is pretty low and often, my own sharing pushes others away. I try to remind myself that I should never regret being kind to someone and never regret opening up to them but this is where my loneliness kicks in and I can’t help but to feel rejected because I showed them who I am and they walked away.

    It’s tough to be true to myself and keep being kind and vulnerable when I know there is no guarantee of someone appreciating it enough to stick around and build a connection with me – and this goes for my friends as well as in my love life. Yet, not being vulnerable with people is not an option for me. I don’t want superficial, I want real and like you said, we cannot wait in life for others to make that first move, it has to start with us.

    And so I continue making that first move over and over again hoping that others will see the value in it too and I can find that something real that I am searching for. I’m tired of the rejection and the loneliness and really ready for deep connections.

  3. Deepa says:

    Thank You Matt, The work that you do makes huge difference in the lives of women who tune into you

  4. FaNa says:

    Hi there a lot of hugs and smiles to you all

  5. Ligia says:

    Hi! You said to say ‘Hi!’, well it is the first time I’m saying ‘Hi!’ to you, so here it is…’Hi!’ :)

  6. Nicole says:

    Hi Matthew, I came across your videos recently and I find them touching my heart. I really love how you are touching the lives of people who are genuinely searching for love with your show. This video struck a cord with me because lonliness hits me often as a single lady who lives alone. Thank you so much for your encouraging words. It gives me hope that even though I am struggling to find happiness right now that things will get better.

  7. Alizaren says:

    I was lonely and depressed and so I joined an art club and I just painted. The next week I went and painted again. Eventually I got to know some of the other people who came to paint. Then I realized that I was so involved in painting, I forgot the problems. Now I paint to get happy. The more I painted the more practice I got and I started to feel more confident. The club was having a show and the others members encouraged me to enter. I put a small one in just so I didn’t feel left out. Well I ended up on cloud nine when they told me someone liked it enough to buy it. All I did was this small thing every week and I ended up happy. Imagine that.

    Would love a reply.

  8. Joanne Bobadilla says:

    Your videos are always spot on, every time im going through emotions or thoughts, your videos are always giving me answers. Your my Angel, helping me through this journey of self growth and soul searching within. I feel everything happens for a reason and your right when you mentioned you have to be alone to get to know yourself. Time to heal and grow and get insight and wisdom.

  9. Melissa says:

    Thanks for the video, Matthew and staff.

  10. Indira says:

    Thanks is great to be able to keep learning and understand that feel lonely is ok but is always better to get tge best of it

  11. Alle says:

    Matt I would love to be on your show. People need to know that they may just have to happy with their own company.
    I have been successful with my own company for many many moons. It’s ESPIRITUAL for me.
    We’ll talk more when I appear on your show.

  12. Jade says:

    Im leaving this comment bc you asked us to. Although, i dont know what to say.

  13. Fi says:

    Thank you Matt for wonderful insightful advices.

  14. Natasha says:

    Thank you for the video. There must be correct ways to show vulnerability, because I was kind and vulnerable with my boyfriend and he just left me. I am afraid that if I show it, people ithey will turn away from me. Give us examples, Matthew. We can’t be ourselves, we end up lonely. I hear teachings that good humour, confidence and certainty are attractive and magnetic in a person. We just don’t know how to show our vulnerability without coming across as needy.

  15. Annie says:

    I feel like my loneliness is so intense, so raw, so overwhelming that I’m afraid of bringing that energy to a man and I hide from people instead. It’s hard to be out and positive when you are aching to have a connection with someone, and you know that intensity will ruin it.

  16. Alex says:

    Hi Matthew,

    Thanks so much for this video.

    I really needed to hear that you should be kind to people. I’m always being told that I’m “too nice” and “too kind” and that people take advantage of me because of this or my kindness scares them away. I’ve been trying to tone down that side of me but I just don’t want to live in a world where I can’t be myself because people are afraid of genuine kindness. When did indifference, maliciousness and not helping people become the new normal? Anyway, I’ll keep pressing on being me in the hopes that inspires someone else to be kind.
    Thanks and looking forward to the retreat in May, I’m already booked!!!

  17. lily says:

    thanx matthew, i feel alone a lot because i have been single for 3 years. you are right it’s about feeling appreciated or feeling worthy . i have a lot of friends and sisters who love me and i have asocial life but i miss feeling loved by a boyfriend , that kin of love i feel lonely without .

  18. Nichole says:

    Hi Matthew…you inspire me and have taught me so much! I pass this knowledge to others and I’m so thankful that I discovered you. Thank you so much, I really do love you to pieces

  19. Fay says:

    Its the feeling , afterall. Thank you for publishing the video. Even english is not my native language, i can understand what u r trying to help. Loneliness will not kill me again. Sa tuu.

  20. Barb says:

    Matthew, there are so many types of vulnerability…but I sometimes get the feeling that men and women consider different things as being truly vulnerable areas or topics. Also I would question the wisdom of launching into one’s deepest fears or weaknesses right off the bat with domeone new…do you have any concrete thoughts or examples of what your average guy (or woman for that matter) would consider sharing a true vulnerability with someone new? I know everyone is different but perhaps yhere are some universals?

  21. jyllian tricot says:

    just watched your video on loneliness. I’ve been alone most of my life…very few relationships in 58 years of life. never married, although I have been asked. I’ve never been ‘in love'(I’m told I would know if I was) I feel most lonely out at clubs with friends because I don’t/can’t drink (actual allergy to alcohol) and all my friends and everyone around is getting drunk and silly and..loose. Last weekend in a crowded club, a cute guy was chatting me up and offered to buy me a drink. I gladly accepted but when he learned I didn’t want bourbon or rum in my coke he said ‘you’re no fun’ and walked away. I don’t want to lie, as if I’m a former alcoholic…I’m lost. That cute guy was low quality, no loss, but it sums up my dating experience. I love to dance, hear live music, I go out anyway to clubs and festivals, gallery openings, etc. Everyone drinks. I can’t relate. I don’t want to die a virgin or never be in love. HELP!

  22. Ash says:

    You’re right Matthew. I’m ridiculously lucky in many ways a huge brain, an ability to play guitar, financial security, great hair!) but I left a long marriage and family breakdown three years ago to come and live alone in the big city. My entire social network was gone. No family, only two friends, neither of whom were nearby, no work, so I had to build a life entirely from scratch.

    I’m generally happy in my own company but I do get lonely from time to time, mainly those times when I need a hug and for someone to tell me I’m doing okay and that it’s all going to be alright.

    But of course I’m not alone in this. Last night, I could hear, two floors down in my building, a neighbour’s baby crying. She’s a single mother who works a high powered job during the day. She’s exhausted and I know what dealing with a crying baby alone at night feels like when you feel like crying yourself for lack of sleep. So today I’m going to invite her up for a coffee/glass of wine. Maybe it’s all about making those little connections…

  23. Flossy says:

    I relate to this video. I have had days of loneliness in my life and i do not love them…i am working on my social circle, i want to be connected to more people and feel in sync with who they are.
    I am letting myself become more vulnerable and it is truly working out.

    I am reaching out to more people, inviting, hosting, I open up to talk about simple things, I say hi to the next person on the plane and i seek help on simple things. This has given me more satisfaction,more life and less loneliness.

  24. LiMei says:

    Hi Matthew,

    Thank you for the great video. A friend of mine recently introduced your videos to me and they really have helped me so much. My favorite thing about your videos is how you re-frame so many ideas, concepts and situations we deal with in everyday life. I take your advice into consideration for all times, not only when talking to guys. Every person we communicate with deserves our energy to some extent.

    Sometimes I don’t even realize I am feeling lonely or that I’m in a rut until I do make a connection with someone and feel better. Your video on compliments actually works really well with this video. I watched your video on praise and compliments earlier this week on Monday and decided to go into work and find something to compliment about my co-workers. Surprise! This Tuesday was honestly one of the best days I’ve had a very long time. I immediately felt more connected to my coworkers and the patrons at my library. I’m at my loneliest when I feel completely disconnected from the people around me, so I’m super happy to find an immediate way to circumvent that loneliness.

    On Wednesday, I encountered a retired coworker at my library. She was feeling down and asked me how I was doing today, to which I answered, “Awesome!” Apparently, my answer was so positive she decided it might rub off on her so she had me rub shoulders with her a few times. I decided to tell her a cute story about something that happened at storytime the night before which seemed to resonate with her. She was smiling when she left,so maybe a positive attitude can rub off, haha.

    As a children’s librarian, sometimes I forget the power stories can have on people. We stress that children need to be read to for their well-being, but often I find that the parents and grandparents will enjoy the story even more than their children do.

    It didn’t click in my head until my coworker asked to read to me a story I had wanted to practice reading to her. I was smiling so wide when she was reading my cheek muscles hurt. The next day, two more coworkers I had read to decided to read a short Halloween story to me while I was on desk. I was so moved I immediately decided I need to read to adults who aren’t parents more often. Something that brings that much joy shouldn’t just be limited to children and adults who have children. So I have decided to do a surprise storytime for my friend when I go swing dancing tonight. My goal is to make her smile so wide her cheeks hurt from being too happy.

    So at the end of this long ramble, I just want to say, thank you Matthew for making my week so positive that I found a way for me to put a little more happiness into the lives of the people I care about.

  25. Ella says:

    This is so true. My sister died last year, it was horrible to see her fade away. But after her death I found out that she had a lot of secrets. A few good ones and a lot of painful and shameful ones. She had always problems opening up. I knew. But I thought she was able to speak to me about her issues. It was a shock to see that I only saw the tip of the iceberg.
    She was unhappy. But only after her death I realised the extent. And I know, if she had the courage to be vulnerable and opened up, life would have been easier and better for her. She would have experience connection, and this automatically make us feel better. I made this experience by myself.

    It´s to late for her. But not for us.

  26. Randy Beaton says:

    Matt … All I can say is WOW … This is powerful and helpful.

  27. Claire says:

    First the Harry Potter reading made my day, I absolutely love how you indulge with us, your community and make us smile and laugh.

    The “Get the Guy” community always gives me comfort as I feel loneliness often these days but another thing that makes me feel surrounded by love that might help others is making a list of 50 things(people, experiences, comforts) that I am grateful for every day, no matter how small, you cannot stop until I reach 50. Gratitude has the ability to grant us comfort and warmth to makes me feel worthy and loved

  28. Marita Roth says:

    Dear Matt,
    you are the life saviour! Thank you so much for reminding us that we as women are also responsible to give some sort of sign and not only wait for a man give interest…i have been so lazy…:-). i will do better in the future!

  29. Helen says:

    i am 58 and single. I am lonely most times these days, my son is 26 and I feel more lonely since my son has grown up and is moving out. I feel redundant , unloved and unrequired. I am a giving person and will give every time I can, I put myself out for others but I have come to the point where I feel so lonely because others around me don’t give as I do. I am most lonely when I see others, couples holding hands especially the older generation, I feel lonely when I see the love shared between families, couples who laugh and chatter. I don’t have friends, I don’t go out and I want to go out. every time I try to get myself back in the world I get bumped back in because it all goes wrong. I have forgotten how to be alive and that makes me feel more lonely than ever.

  30. Rebecca morais says:

    Really an amazing video! Its true that sometimes we dont see the postive side of lonliness…my version of lonliness is when i feel that my partner wants me when he is free or bored but dosnt bother me when i am in trouble dosent react to my emotions and moods but i relaise after seeing this video the more i face my problems alone when more i get strong…maybe

  31. Barbara Parks says:

    What you said is so true! I will never forget when I was crying as I waited for a bus rushing to get to my doctors office.
    I was crying because I was afraid after my doctor said I need to hurry in because something very serious may be wrong. A total stranger who saw me being alone and vulnerable brought me flowers from a street vendor saying they hope all goes well and they help me feel better! That was many years ago but it touched me deeply.

  32. Kim says:

    I was online reading about the news and had seen your post on loneliness and 5 ways to turn off in a relationship. Both were spot on. Thank you for moving into these areas that are normally off limits. I like the fact that you can be who you are in spite of others. I have had many times that my outgoing, sunny personality has been rejected by others. With are you trying to come on to me. Well a date does start with a conversation. Lol. I make small talk and get odd responses from people. I try to make new friends and they are not interested in me. It is not easy to make connections with people.

    I can tell you it is wonderful what you are doing. Thank you for doing what you do. Don’t change.

  33. Kai says:

    Matthew making phenomenal videos as usual and this does get to me on a personal scale.Not that I am lonely all the time, but once in a while I do feel empty here and there.Would give some arguments here for what he said but I can’t really think of much since most of his points are valid and overrule my thoughts which are negative sometimes.

  34. Lael says:

    This is beautiful. Thank you for speaking real wisdom and not fluff.
    I have gone through many seasons of loneliness. The most recent one a health battle where I was forced to be alone in a dark room without people around me for months. Through this process I’ve actually gotten to know myself better. I agree that loneliness comes from a sense of worthlessness. I am so much more outgoing and social now compared to when I was young and depressed. The older me has learned that I have value.
    I have been single for the past 2 years, but I know I can choose to invest in close friendships during this single period.

  35. Mara says:

    This was a very thought provoking video for me. It has helped me realize we are all lonely at some point and that’s ok. The loneliest times for me are when I need someone to talk to and no one is around. I have also realized that sometimes being single is ok. Some of my lonliest times were when I had someone in my life and I was lonelier with them it then being by myself. That was a ahha moment!

  36. Tandis says:

    Hello Matt! This is Tandis from Iran . You may be surprised that you have a big fan in Iran .I really love you and the vidoes that you share with us are very helpful .I introduced you to all my friends. We learned a lot from you .
    Thank you for all your efforts .

  37. Lisa says:

    Hi Matt,
    great video, great subject, well explored from different angles with the usual sensitivity, wit and warm presence as usual.
    Great outfit, very stilish, I loved it!!!
    One more step towards our personal growth…Thank you.

  38. Nicole says:

    I’ve dealt with previous narracistic trauma that almost broke my spirit to reach out to others with a smile like I would practice daily. It hasn’t been easy, but I learned besides healthy, balanced solitude…reaching out to connect to others is what will pull you over to begin relating. I work as an Esthetician at a hotel spa. I found all walks of life are coming to relax, but tend to sometimes share their life challenges. At the end of the day everyone tends to feel alienated and I do feel these tactics really make a difference. Keep the brilliant advice brewing Matthew!….It’s refreshing to know a man like yourself (& Jameson!) exist! Your vids have very comforting more than you could imagine. On the darkest days…thank you for bringing in the light!

  39. Roza says:

    Thank You Matt for being there!
    You really have to know,You saves my life!
    Thank You.
    And all the best in Your life!!!
    Roza x

  40. Cathy says:

    I had to watch this top quality, heart-felt video with my hand blocking all but your face so that I could take it seriously. Flesh coloured trousers weren’t a good choice! Lol

  41. Maria says:

    Hello Matt!!!First time commenting on your video…I have been a fan of yours a couple of years now and a huge junky of your Sunday videos!!! I love your advice!!! They have helped me rebuild my perspective and views about life in general.
    I am 29 and at a turning point of my life. Although it wasn’t an easy choice I have decided to go back to the university and study for a whole new subject in order to practice the profession I have always wanted. To do so I had to move from my home town away from my friends and family and start over. The last couple of weeks in this new place i admit I felt quite lonely sometimes although I try not to show. Loneliness also makes me dought about my decision whether I am doing the right thing or if this is all a big mistake. Maybe I should have settled after all it wasn’t all that bad with my old job. I have lost so much time and I am 29 now starting over … Maybe it’s too late… Loneliness can be ruthless sometimes when you are left alone with yourself your fears doughts and insecurities….

  42. Lu says:

    Feeling connected to someone around you or the people you’re with is a much happier experience than being in a room of people that have no interest in you or have nothing in common with you. In other words, being with people who don’t really care about you make it feel very lonely.
    But even though I do agree that connectedness is certainly a joyful experience and essential for not feeling lonely, you still need that other essential piece, someone who really cares about you and wants to be with you.
    Going solo can only suffice for so long before the loneliness sets in and you crave a partner or soulmate.
    Btw, your videos and advice have helped me feel better through many lonely times of hopelessness.
    Thank you!

  43. Claire Moorhead says:

    I’m a single Mum of 5, life is busy but lonely, always hearing other people’s news with none to share of my own, here for everyone but no one is here for me it seems, guess that’s independence. I will have to start asking others for help not the other way around… Great video… Thought provoking!

  44. Oksana says:

    Matthew, i genuinely believe you are changing this world for the better. I am a cult victim and your videos is one of the reasons i woke up from my indoctrination. I was like: OMG! This guy has more wisdom than the people (the leaders) who claim that they are the only chanel of communication between God and humankind! Normally they have bullshit advice when it comes to dating and marriage that NEVER work. Also, you are much kinder and more concerned about people than any religious person i know.

  45. Karis says:

    Hello Matthew. I wrote this in the comment section of one of your more recent videos. (Don’t ask me to remember which one) but it never hurts to repeat.:-) I just wanted to say thank you. I started watching your youtube videos a few months back, and they have completely transformed my outlook on relationships. Because of your advice I have become someone who seems more available and more reasonable, and much less awkward. A little more than a week ago I started talking to the guy who came to unlock my door after I’d left my keys in my apartment. I’d talked to him once before, and at the end he asked if I liked tacos. He said he knew the best taco place in town, and he’d like to take me sometime. And I said that would be great.:-) Now, 3 dates in.. We text good morning to each other every day and never run out of things that we want to do or show the other person. I know it’s early days, but it is so nice to date someone who doesn’t need to be told to be nice and understanding. They just are. Don’t get me wrong, I still have plenty of insecurities, but I’ve gotten serious with him a couple of times and he has not backed away. Yet. How insane is that? So thank you Matthew, I am in heaven. Without you I probably would’ve been moping too much to appear attractive to this guy on the day he unlocked my door for me. Thank you for all your wonderful advice, I recommend you to all the friends I know who are having difficulties. I was once lonely, and now I’m not anymore. And I have you to thank for that.

  46. Hannah says:

    I think that loneliness indefinitely defines who we become with society. For example: If we feel alone with our spouse, even if we are around them twenty four seven, that lack of connection brings pain and social separation to our emotional health. I agree that you have to be alone with your own thoughts on occasion in order to figure out who you are as a person and what you truly want out of any relationship. Loneliness is extremely internal, and the older I become the more I realize the importance of not only social interactions, but social connections. It is hard to know yourself, your worth, and your standards when you surround yourself with people you have very little emotional or intellectual connection with. That being said, be it your best friend or your spouse.. Communication, interests and moral understandings all have crucial Impacts on who you become based on your interpersonal needs. Loneliness tends to diminish when we find people we love and connect with under the surface, not just on the surface. At least that’s what I’ve continued to learn :) Thank you so much for your intellect, Matt. You are always such a help!

  47. Vicky says:

    Hello Matthew thank you so much for your videos they really are an inspiration, I get a lot from them x

  48. Mercy says:

    Love how you explain things through your videos, shows your vulnerability :) and encourages me to continue in the same as well!

  49. Suzanne Borelo says:

    Matthew, I get so much out of your videos and hope that when you have a seminar near me that I am able financially to go! You really are making the world a better place by helping people in their relationships. Much love and appreciation,

  50. Swee Whitehouse says:

    Showing vulnerability to build connection…great concept. I totally agree with you Matt that solitude is a beautiful thing but certainly we would all like more connection with our community. I will meditate now on how to put your great concept into action.

    I have loved your videos. You have a great ability to distil abstract concepts into concrete actionable steps. Well done!

  51. Janet says:

    Love, love, love! You are so right when it comes to seeing vulnerability being a standard. This year I have started writing a postcard every week to someone. For no other reason than to tell them they are beautiful, wonderful, special and they matter. I’ve felt so much love and connectedness to these people (some of who I don’t even know – I got their addresses from people I know who thought those people were amazing). It really helps, give love, focus on love, zoom in on what you love and it will come back to you with such force you’ll feel amazing. Love always, Janet

    • Bee Mather says:

      Janet – That is such a cool thing to do. Not many of us (me included) are brave enough to do that). Beautiful!

      • Janet says:

        Thank you, Bee, wouldnt it be AWESOME if people did it anyway? To me, being vulnerable is just that: having all these worries, fears and anxiety and… doing it anyway. The reward is so much bigger than I could ever explain. Love, Janet

  52. Jingjing Li says:

    Matthew Hussey! You are one amazing human being!!! Just watched your interview with Lewis Howes – truly appreciate your beautiful presence on the planet. And it’s ok that you don’t believe (yet) in the infinity/eternity of Life/Soul/Consciousness :P

  53. lynelle says:

    Hi Matt!! Hi Jameson!

    Just thought I should say hi :) — I blab on here all the time, even though I know you don’t see my responses, and I’m also not part of your paying community. It doesn’t matter, I’ll just keep saying hi over time — and I hope it’s a long time.

    I LOVE your vision for our online community, Matt. Boy that was clear when you spit it out: “…..I want us to actually have a community that thrives on great energy here, not just positive energy, but Good energy, where we’re here to help each other…”

    You tell ’em. Yes, both loneliness videos are just excellent. I had been set to respond, “oh, please say ‘aloneness’ is different from ‘loneliness'” or some such verbiage, but you made it real clear the way you put it. THANKS.

    I love you guys. xoxooii

  54. gemma phıllıps says:

    I would be very hesitant to show too much vunerability to others because this could be interpreted by others as low self esteem and we could become magnets for manipulative people. Better to show this side of ourselves to people we now and trust

    • Janet says:

      Dear Gemma,

      Your comment touched me, because to me, vulnerability comes from a place of strength and trust. It’s basically telling people: “I am going to be me, I’m going to be real. I am aware there are people out there who might not have good intentions, but I am strong and trust that I can deal with dissappointment. I am not naive, I am true to who I am and I will not let my fear change that.”

  55. Stephanie says:

    Thank you for this video. It was really helpful the way you frame loneliness as an emotion that can be manipulated to be good sometimes. Being vulnerable with no expectations of it being reciprocated is hard. It’s hard when you’re expected to be strong or independent. At the same time, that’s also when I feel actually heard/seen/acknowledged. Thank you again.

  56. Cathy Orem says:

    Over the last week your comments about letting yourself be vulnerable has really resonated with me and that it’s OK & effective in communicating with others so they can actually see the real you. Thank you for giving me “permission” that I don’t have to hold back, keep my guard up or risk being the real me. My quest is to have healthy relationships with everyone in my life, and it can only get better from here! THANK YOU Matt

  57. Jaee says:


    After watching this video, I felt like giving you a standing ovation. All of the concepts you have put forth are exactly on the mark. Thank you for doing this. You are doing a very noble thing by giving everyone hope and inspiration. The world needs more people like you.

  58. Alexis says:

    Off topic but.. Matt, what are some books that have influenced you or the work of people that we all could learn from?

  59. Thobile says:

    I am the life of the party most times but if only the ppl I’m around know how lonely I am . I am so lonely especially becoz I’ve faced so mch rejection tht now I’ve left feeling like I really dnt matter it’s so stuck with me idk wat I should do ….

  60. A says:

    I don’t think there’s anything sadder than living in London. I came here four years ago and I still can’t find my place, let alone meet normal guys that won’t disappear after 3 dates. Your tips for curing loneliness are great, but I don’t think they would work in a city where everyone is dehumanised.
    I don’t feel lonely anymore, I feel numb, but I get some gratification in reading and watching you, thank you for that.

    • Bee Mather says:

      Oh I’m sad to read your comments as London can be a difficult place as ambition and ego does seem to rule. However when we really look at everyone as an individual in most there is kindness and love so please please don’t give up!

  61. Annneli (on-a-lee) says:


    Thank you for videos! I really appreciate you sharing your knowledge. Not only are they inspirational but I learn several new things each time I hear you speak. Thank you for sharing your light and knowledge with the world.

  62. Tyna says:

    I took my daughter to college mid July and since then I have felt my life slip from under me. My best friend is gone but also my main purpose for living these last 10 years. I thought leaving my husband was he hardest part of my life but this now tops it. The loneliness is overwleming. I’ve tried to befriend people. I’ve tried to express to my friends how much I need them right now. But more often than not I am left alone. I’m a naturally happy person and I feel so lost.
    I decided that since my daughter was away at a navy academy and working hard, I would work hard too. I’ve been going to the gym so that the next time she sees me she would see I’m taking care of myself. To be honest it would be the first time in my life that I am doing so. Also, I know men find my weight extremely unattractive. But I have a warm heart and a vibrant personality. So maybe they don’t want to date me yet but at least I won’t let myself blend into the the background!
    Your videos have made me feel so validated. And less alone. I wanted to thank you for that. I wander around asking myself “what’s wrong with me? Why don’t people see I have needs too? Why don’t people see how vulnerable I am?” Because I’m so tired of hearing “you’re so strong Tyna”. People don’t realize that the “strongest” people are actually the weakest. We feel too much. Therefore we build ourselves of steel to withstand every storm. But even steel can bend. And eventually break. I’m trying to fight against my breaking point every single day.
    Thank you and the community you’ve built for showing me that there are a lot of souls out there in the world similar to mine. I appreciate the kindness and hope I can keep building myself up. Be well.

    • gemma phıllıps says:

      Have you tried Meet up Tyna? It’s a great way to meet new people and take up new hobbies at the same time. Maybe there are some groups near where you live.

  63. Majd says:

    i wish I could a man like you Matthew, I would be the happiest alive creature.
    Your video always comes from the deepest part of a human’s heart and mind. I truly love your previous video and this one. It brought up tears to my eyes since I am the loneliest girl in the world. No family, No friend, No partner. Just going to school and taking care of my son.

  64. Safaa says:

    Thank you Matthew for this video and all other videos that I learned from a lot.Feeling lonely before made me start dating somebody I didnt like at the begining and I suffered after he disappered. But I thankful for this experience because I needed time to know myself more and discover how to change my life.Thank you because you gave me hope and good ideas that helped me to improve the way of thinking in myself.

  65. Brent Riley says:

    Thank you for this video! I have been talking with a girl for some time and she always says she doesn’t like this boy around me, but last night I learned that she still has feelings for him. I was feeling very lonely after reading her reply. This video was very inspiring. I just need to find myself and the things that I love to do which can decrease my loneliness. You’re a great motivational figure.

  66. Michelle Ruggieri says:

    Thank you Matthew!! The worst loneliness I’ve felt was being in a marriage where I couldn’t connect with my spouse. I typically don’t have a hard time connecting with people because I’m very open and they tend to open up to me because of that. How can I connect with so many others but not the guy I’m sharing a bed with. (Past tense because we are separated).
    I’m all signed up for your November retreat so look forward to meeting you, your family and the rest of the crew. Thanks for everything you do!

  67. Tam Le says:

    thanks a lot Mathew for a valuable speech. I’ve been suffering from loneliness for years and it seems I finally found light at the end of the tunnel after watching your video.

  68. Kristina says:

    You, as a Stark, with the Game of Thrones theme song, is the ultimate trifecta of sexiness. Never stop bringing your quirky side. Please.

    I work almost entirely alone. One of the ways I keep myself sane is by listening to Podcasts. They further help me by giving me a topic to connect on with others.

    For me, it is a more rewarding use of my time than seeing what others are up on on social media. Time spent there often increases my loneliness.

    Thank you for letting us in on part of your party. Your videos and programs have brought me hope in countless ways over the last year, and have likely saved my life. You have inspired me to get on a more meaningful path for my life.

  69. Linda crossman says:

    Yes this emotion I live with constantly, being injured on my job 30 Yrs Ago, the experiences that I have lived through out my injured life is truly has been quite a journey now wheelchair bound widow, I find people together all seem happy and loved, I on the other hand feel left out of society like being left out on the play ground from school, I am sure everyone has felt this way once in their lifetime…. I have learn to dig deep inside …let my insides feel freedom from the restences of life give and take…l laugh freely, talk and express myself with wirds and body language …I watch and make sure everyone is at ease…just to have people that are positive, happy go lucky are nice to be around…I have always draw people to me…they come with their life concerns…the talk on how life really is for them…I have lived a life of bedridden state, not seeing people for weeks on end…lonieness is scary, uncomfortable and at times unbearable….but manageable…thanks Matthew for all your advise, I really enjoy learning from the master…of connecting with our mates….Linda…

  70. Elisabeth says:

    Hi Matthew,

    I watched your video without even having seen last week´s video. I really liked this and support the idea of allowing and encouraging more vulnerability in our (online) lives. I don´t normally comment on anything, but to make a statement of me being one of all these people who feel lonely and melancholic and alone a lot, I wanted to write something.
    Loneliness is something very human and surprisingly common- but, actually, not even that surprising in our individualistic, smartphone- headphones- and eletronic device-loving world.

    Thank you so much for your sincerity.

  71. Syd says:

    Oh my God, you’re so beautiful

    Can you be happy all the time?

  72. wissal says:

    i am a 22 young female artiste and i live most of time alone in my workshop, They always ask don’t you feel lonely?
    Well the truth is that i have my own interior limitless word, i can live with my self for weeks. And i enjoy it.

  73. Kimia says:

    You are the best matthew. Your videos and book really changed my life.

  74. Anna Wi. says:

    There is a good line at the end of the really-not-so-bad movie “How to Be Single?”:

    ‘The thing about being single is, you should cherish it.
    Because, in a week, or a lifetime, of being alone, you may only get one moment when you’re not tied up in a relationship with anyone.
    One moment, when you stand on your own.’

    I believe that it is neither good nor bad to be single/alone. What matters is to make the best use of it. To cherish it, to learn from it, to get inspirations and inspire and to live it on 100%. It’s not a ‘parking mode’ on our gears, its a ‘drive mode’, so let’s drive fast and have fun.

    THANK YOU Matthew for being a GPS for many of us :*

  75. Fleur says:

    Superb video. Very poignant and relative to me at this current moment. I have moved away from where I grew up and am now moving back because I feel so cut off and alone. I’m still moving back, however after watching this video I’m going to practice connecting with as many people as I can to see the difference. A smile goes a long way to begin connections, so I’m going to continue to smile :-D

  76. Annia says:

    Thank you Matthew.
    I think I relate the most with the sense of worthiness, feeling like you don’t belong or do not deserve to be loved. I’m usually confortable with myself and the person I’ve become. It’s the moment we stop to look around, What am I missing? And why? Am I not enough or is something wrong with me?
    Having you talking about it and actually understanding the exact moment when I feel most lonely makes me break into tears, and they’re happy tears, of realizing that even in my loneliness someone out there shares the same feeling and I wasn’t so alone after all.
    Thank you for being vulnerable ❤️

  77. Nicole says:

    Hi Matthew,

    I don’t normally leave comments but I figured I would this time. I am back for another year of college and although I am surrounded by familiar faces, it has been hard to start back up those interpersonal connections. I also am rooming with a new group of girls. Some of the women’s comments about feeling alone in their home or in a crowded space have very much applied to me this first week back. I feel alone in my common room surrounded by all my roommates or at a bar where I know no one.

    I think that just listening to you and the videos of other women was truly a cathartic experience that made me feel as though it is okay to feel lonely and that it is natural.

    I already feel less lonely just knowing that I am not the only one who feels alone :)

  78. Syd says:


  79. Meity says:

    Thank you for this video. I started reading your blog looking for help in order to find a boyfriend (which worked by the way, his name is Christian) but I continued coming back to your site because it helps me conquer my biggest fear: being vulnerable. I know that making myself/ letting myself be vulnerable will make my life richer. But sometimes it’s scary as hell.
    So, thank you for your help.

  80. Susana says:

    You make everything feel so easy with your insights and practical tools and advices. I am so grateful for finding you three years ago when I was so in need for sincere advice.

    I always leave your blog with a big smile in my face and in peace with me and the world, not only because you’re sometimes funny (in a good and positive way), but also because of your good energy and useful tools.

    Thank you all (you and your team) for being there.

    A big hug :-)

  81. Syd says:


    Do your advices work to find husband or just relationship?

    I want a husband who doesn’t suffocate me or murder me, who understands my need for space, and doesn’t talk a lot.

  82. Teresa says:

    Mathew thanks for your thoughts. Really! Yes just like any emotion loneliness and self doubt too are just tract pathways in our brain that are trying to give us information to help us make a good decision. And the relieving news is that those emotions aren’t the final word or even the absolute truth, it’s just feedback, it’s the brain orientating, providing data based on the millions of bits of information stored in our brains. We then get to utilize this information as well as all other forms of input to choose a beneficial and positive course of action. So what is a beneficial course of action? Choose to smile, choose to be brave and chat with the stranger on the train, choose to go for that refocusing regenerating jog, choose to believe in your worth because you are the only you, choose to find solace in your solitude for the moment and appreciate it for the present, and look forward to the times of connecting in the future. I mean, studies show that the emotions centre of our brain is not in charge, thank goodness. If we could just remember what emotion’s purpose is, we could use them as they were intended which is basically a warning sign to avoid imminent harm or pain, and/or it’s a cue to pause and take a moment to analyze and identify the problem and then choose a good course of action to take.
    It may sound a little “emotionless” to put it in these terms but if it can help you sort out those possibly overwhelming moments some of the time then why not

  83. Mary Ellen says:

    Hey! ‘Liberace Ned Stark…’ Thanks for keeping me company at 3:16 a.m., for making me laugh out loud!, and for being available and vulnerable. ❤️

  84. Denise says:

    Thank you Matthew,
    I hereby commit to making it my new standard o
    Smile at people I pass and make eye contact with more often and say hello to people waiting in line next to me.

  85. Debra says:

    I think loneliness is felt mostly when we are looking out at the world and not in our own self . I’ve lived alone for 15 years . I love my life . I need the quote to think straight . Lol. If your lonely , your not dreaming big enough . Your goals are not set high . Just my thought .

  86. Syd says:


    It’s Sydney Felicia de Australia. I am writing to inform that my meds are making me fat, nauseous, and angry that I’m fat. It increases my apetite and supposedly reduces my metabolism. None of my favorite clothes fit me the same way and I feel bad about my attractiveness.

    On the upside, i am less judgmental of other fat people.

  87. Michelle says:

    I love times of solitude and times of being with others.
    Last time I was overloaded with lonelyness I got out of the house and took a walk. I enjoyed the walk and by the time I’d walked over a mile I wasn’t thinking of being lonely any more or frustrated with sercomstances. I felt rejuvinated.

  88. Maka Lomadze says:

    It was great… it was a discovery for me that we’d better show our soft side to others. Thank you Mat, it was really touching…

  89. Tina says:

    This is exactly where I am in life, learning how to love being by myself before anyone can get into my heart again. I love being vulnerable, it makes me feel alive. Maybe sometimes I’m not sure how to dial it into one specific person.. I push back myself when I feel to much at times.

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