I realized a huge truth about getting rid of loneliness that I didn’t mention in last week’s video.
Learn this simple-yet-powerful concept, and you’ll have an essential tool to create happy, meaningful relationships and feel connected again…
►► You don’t have to do it alone. Let’s take this life-changing journey together…MatthewHusseyRetreat.com
i am 58 and single. I am lonely most times these days, my son is 26 and I feel more lonely since my son has grown up and is moving out. I feel redundant , unloved and unrequired. I am a giving person and will give every time I can, I put myself out for others but I have come to the point where I feel so lonely because others around me don’t give as I do. I am most lonely when I see others, couples holding hands especially the older generation, I feel lonely when I see the love shared between families, couples who laugh and chatter. I don’t have friends, I don’t go out and I want to go out. every time I try to get myself back in the world I get bumped back in because it all goes wrong. I have forgotten how to be alive and that makes me feel more lonely than ever.
Dear Matt,
you are the life saviour! Thank you so much for reminding us that we as women are also responsible to give some sort of sign and not only wait for a man give interest…i have been so lazy…:-). i will do better in the future!
First the Harry Potter reading made my day, I absolutely love how you indulge with us, your community and make us smile and laugh.
The “Get the Guy” community always gives me comfort as I feel loneliness often these days but another thing that makes me feel surrounded by love that might help others is making a list of 50 things(people, experiences, comforts) that I am grateful for every day, no matter how small, you cannot stop until I reach 50. Gratitude has the ability to grant us comfort and warmth to makes me feel worthy and loved
Matt … All I can say is WOW … This is powerful and helpful.
This is so true. My sister died last year, it was horrible to see her fade away. But after her death I found out that she had a lot of secrets. A few good ones and a lot of painful and shameful ones. She had always problems opening up. I knew. But I thought she was able to speak to me about her issues. It was a shock to see that I only saw the tip of the iceberg.
She was unhappy. But only after her death I realised the extent. And I know, if she had the courage to be vulnerable and opened up, life would have been easier and better for her. She would have experience connection, and this automatically make us feel better. I made this experience by myself.
It´s to late for her. But not for us.
Hi Matthew,
Thank you for the great video. A friend of mine recently introduced your videos to me and they really have helped me so much. My favorite thing about your videos is how you re-frame so many ideas, concepts and situations we deal with in everyday life. I take your advice into consideration for all times, not only when talking to guys. Every person we communicate with deserves our energy to some extent.
Sometimes I don’t even realize I am feeling lonely or that I’m in a rut until I do make a connection with someone and feel better. Your video on compliments actually works really well with this video. I watched your video on praise and compliments earlier this week on Monday and decided to go into work and find something to compliment about my co-workers. Surprise! This Tuesday was honestly one of the best days I’ve had a very long time. I immediately felt more connected to my coworkers and the patrons at my library. I’m at my loneliest when I feel completely disconnected from the people around me, so I’m super happy to find an immediate way to circumvent that loneliness.
On Wednesday, I encountered a retired coworker at my library. She was feeling down and asked me how I was doing today, to which I answered, “Awesome!” Apparently, my answer was so positive she decided it might rub off on her so she had me rub shoulders with her a few times. I decided to tell her a cute story about something that happened at storytime the night before which seemed to resonate with her. She was smiling when she left,so maybe a positive attitude can rub off, haha.
As a children’s librarian, sometimes I forget the power stories can have on people. We stress that children need to be read to for their well-being, but often I find that the parents and grandparents will enjoy the story even more than their children do.
It didn’t click in my head until my coworker asked to read to me a story I had wanted to practice reading to her. I was smiling so wide when she was reading my cheek muscles hurt. The next day, two more coworkers I had read to decided to read a short Halloween story to me while I was on desk. I was so moved I immediately decided I need to read to adults who aren’t parents more often. Something that brings that much joy shouldn’t just be limited to children and adults who have children. So I have decided to do a surprise storytime for my friend when I go swing dancing tonight. My goal is to make her smile so wide her cheeks hurt from being too happy.
So at the end of this long ramble, I just want to say, thank you Matthew for making my week so positive that I found a way for me to put a little more happiness into the lives of the people I care about.
I relate to this video. I have had days of loneliness in my life and i do not love them…i am working on my social circle, i want to be connected to more people and feel in sync with who they are.
I am letting myself become more vulnerable and it is truly working out.
I am reaching out to more people, inviting, hosting, I open up to talk about simple things, I say hi to the next person on the plane and i seek help on simple things. This has given me more satisfaction,more life and less loneliness.
You’re right Matthew. I’m ridiculously lucky in many ways a huge brain, an ability to play guitar, financial security, great hair!) but I left a long marriage and family breakdown three years ago to come and live alone in the big city. My entire social network was gone. No family, only two friends, neither of whom were nearby, no work, so I had to build a life entirely from scratch.
I’m generally happy in my own company but I do get lonely from time to time, mainly those times when I need a hug and for someone to tell me I’m doing okay and that it’s all going to be alright.
But of course I’m not alone in this. Last night, I could hear, two floors down in my building, a neighbour’s baby crying. She’s a single mother who works a high powered job during the day. She’s exhausted and I know what dealing with a crying baby alone at night feels like when you feel like crying yourself for lack of sleep. So today I’m going to invite her up for a coffee/glass of wine. Maybe it’s all about making those little connections…
just watched your video on loneliness. I’ve been alone most of my life…very few relationships in 58 years of life. never married, although I have been asked. I’ve never been ‘in love'(I’m told I would know if I was) I feel most lonely out at clubs with friends because I don’t/can’t drink (actual allergy to alcohol) and all my friends and everyone around is getting drunk and silly and..loose. Last weekend in a crowded club, a cute guy was chatting me up and offered to buy me a drink. I gladly accepted but when he learned I didn’t want bourbon or rum in my coke he said ‘you’re no fun’ and walked away. I don’t want to lie, as if I’m a former alcoholic…I’m lost. That cute guy was low quality, no loss, but it sums up my dating experience. I love to dance, hear live music, I go out anyway to clubs and festivals, gallery openings, etc. Everyone drinks. I can’t relate. I don’t want to die a virgin or never be in love. HELP!
Matthew, there are so many types of vulnerability…but I sometimes get the feeling that men and women consider different things as being truly vulnerable areas or topics. Also I would question the wisdom of launching into one’s deepest fears or weaknesses right off the bat with domeone new…do you have any concrete thoughts or examples of what your average guy (or woman for that matter) would consider sharing a true vulnerability with someone new? I know everyone is different but perhaps yhere are some universals?
Its the feeling , afterall. Thank you for publishing the video. Even english is not my native language, i can understand what u r trying to help. Loneliness will not kill me again. Sa tuu.
Hi Matthew…you inspire me and have taught me so much! I pass this knowledge to others and I’m so thankful that I discovered you. Thank you so much, I really do love you to pieces
thanx matthew, i feel alone a lot because i have been single for 3 years. you are right it’s about feeling appreciated or feeling worthy . i have a lot of friends and sisters who love me and i have asocial life but i miss feeling loved by a boyfriend , that kin of love i feel lonely without .
Hi Matthew,
Thanks so much for this video.
I really needed to hear that you should be kind to people. I’m always being told that I’m “too nice” and “too kind” and that people take advantage of me because of this or my kindness scares them away. I’ve been trying to tone down that side of me but I just don’t want to live in a world where I can’t be myself because people are afraid of genuine kindness. When did indifference, maliciousness and not helping people become the new normal? Anyway, I’ll keep pressing on being me in the hopes that inspires someone else to be kind.
Thanks and looking forward to the retreat in May, I’m already booked!!!
I feel like my loneliness is so intense, so raw, so overwhelming that I’m afraid of bringing that energy to a man and I hide from people instead. It’s hard to be out and positive when you are aching to have a connection with someone, and you know that intensity will ruin it.
Dear Anni i just noticed your feelings are so similar as mine ….I am helpless to compose it all in words…
Thank you for the video. There must be correct ways to show vulnerability, because I was kind and vulnerable with my boyfriend and he just left me. I am afraid that if I show it, people ithey will turn away from me. Give us examples, Matthew. We can’t be ourselves, we end up lonely. I hear teachings that good humour, confidence and certainty are attractive and magnetic in a person. We just don’t know how to show our vulnerability without coming across as needy.
Thank you Matt for wonderful insightful advices.
Im leaving this comment bc you asked us to. Although, i dont know what to say.
Matt I would love to be on your show. People need to know that they may just have to happy with their own company.
I have been successful with my own company for many many moons. It’s ESPIRITUAL for me.
We’ll talk more when I appear on your show.
CHEERS
Thanks is great to be able to keep learning and understand that feel lonely is ok but is always better to get tge best of it