Dear Trolls, Get A Life

You’ve heard me talk about the two types of people in life: Waiters and Creators.

Well… there’s also a third type of person…

There’s a guy I’ve been following for a while, George Watsky – a rapper who become a big Youtube name, and who has been in the news recently for jumping off of a very high lighting rig at a show where he injured two people.

He wrote a very sincere apology for his actions which he posted on Facebook:

“The jump was not awesome, it was not badass, and it was not ballsy. It turned what should have been a great day for the people who got hurt into a nightmare. It was stupid and wildly irresponsible, plain and simple.

“Today I let down my supporters, I let down the Warped Tour and I let down my band and the people who work their asses off behind the scenes to make these shows happen. My #1 priority right now is to somehow make this right for the folks who were hurt.

“I am deeply sorry and I promise to learn from this mistake.”

(See full apology here.)

The apology, despite its sincerity, provoked a HUGE number of comments berating the guy, abusing him, and saying all sorts of nasty things.

What I find more sickening than the newspapers who spread these kinds of stories is the way that they indoctrinate people in general.

At any time you can go onto a newspaper’s website and see people commenting on stories like this in just this way.

I’m always in favour of people disagreeing with me and giving a constructive lesson with an idea that conflicts with mine, but that’s very different from what people typically do.

The way people leave these comments is not designed to be productive. Their comments are left with the intention of being sinister and malicious.

The interesting question is: Why do people do this?

Why is it that we live in a culture where people have to take 5-10 minutes out of their day to maliciously abuse someone else, when that person has already heard it twenty or more times from other people telling them how stupid they’ve been?

Why is it that people feel it necessary to be sinister in this way?

The obvious answer is because these people are lacking something in their own lives.

The same people who leave these comments are distracting themselves from their own productive endeavours.

Do you think each of them doesn’t have something they want to do in their life? Something they want to build or create that they haven’t got the courage to do.

Maybe they haven’t got the drive or strategy. Maybe they have a whole list of excuses as to why they can’t do what they want to do. Whatever it is holding them back, the end result is them leaving malicious comments about other people they don’t even know, instead of spending their time doing things that would actually benefit their own lives.

I want to speak to these people:

There is a reason why you took the time to say something and didn’t choose to use that time to do something that was actually important to you.

You could have learnt a new word in that time, watched another video that could have educated you on something, or sent a loving text message to someone you do know.

Instead you left a nasty comment.

***

There are people who wait and people who create in life.

The people I’m talking about don’t fall into either one of those categories in a way. They don’t wait, they don’t create, they destroy.

If from this video one such person is turned to doing something constructive instead of writing a nasty comment next time the opportunity presents itself, then this video and article will at least have done something.

Questions Of The Day:

You may not be a ‘troll’, but there may be ways you know you waste energy that you know you would rather spend on productive endeavours – even if for 5 minutes.

If you had an extra 5 minutes today, what would you use it for that’s important to your life?

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87 Replies to “Dear Trolls, Get A Life”

  1. So i should spend it by saying how much I love you and you are the best hope everyone was like you :) btw couldn’t concentrate on what you said cuz you are soooo handsome

  2. I decided to use my 5 mins to say thanks for sharing this. It’s something that’s been bothering me for awhile. I have been trying to understand why people spend energy to tear down others, especially people that they have chosen to follow and in one way or another benefit from. I hope this reaches out to many. Thank you again. All the best with your work.

    ~Sandie

  3. You’re going to meet many people with domineering personalities: the loud, the obnoxious, those that noisily stake their claims in your territory and everywhere else they set foot on, and You Tube is a perfect medium for these people. This is the blueprint of a predator. Predators prey on gentleness, peace, calmness, sweetness, regret, mistakes and any positivity that they sniff out as weakness. It’s not your job to change these people, but it’s your job to show them that your peace and gentleness do not equate to weakness. The truth is that predators have no strength and no courage. It is you who are strong, and it is you who has courage.

  4. these “destroyers” are creating something: their own egos. they depend on cutting others down to get that surge of superiority, which is usually boosted in collusion with others who are looking for the same high.

  5. I don’t know about in England, but in the US our media is filled with that as well. There are people who have talk shows for example, often political, who get viewers because they’re shouting and calling people idiots. People say you can’t blame the media/tv, but if you watch it all of the time it can seep into your brain and becomes like another person or group you surround yourself with. (See my P.S.)

    It’s also easier on the internet to say things like that because you’re not face to face with someone. I’m not saying that’s right, but I think it plays into it.

    P.S. I hadn’t seen one of your videos in awhile but you still made it into one of my dreams the other night. Congratulations, haha.

  6. oh and these trolls (most especially) need our love, too! Rilke said: “Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”

    1. That quote from Rilke is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing it! I am posting it where I can see it every day.

  7. When someone hurts another and they cause stress towards one person. The person constantly does it over time. What you think they person feel like be harassed to a point. You were harassed and you try to be nice and them continue to put you down. It all builds up and hurt. What were they trying to achieve by stressing me. What did they want? They you try to confront them.

  8. 5 minutes are very short time, but at the same time they could be very valuable and they could be used very effectively. I would probably try to get in touch with a friend who I didn’t hear from a long time and see how she or he is doing. I would use these 5 minutes to search and apply for a job, which is an important thing at this stage of my life. Or just read and learn something new that could be helpful for me :)

    Thanks for the question! xx

  9. Actions=Reactions…Especially when one is in the public arena. You would be surprised how many of us react negatively to your use of curse words. It takes the value of your topics. JMHO.

  10. I agree! But I would probably call their ability to find time to denigrate others a combination of displacement activity than avoidant activity; like you said they are displacing their own feelings of inadequacy, disappointment or boredom of their own lives and so attempt to put others down so they can then feel a sense of satisfaction and superiority at the idea that someone has done something daring and failed. It helps them to think, perhaps, that while they may have dreams they at least are not looking stupid taking risks in actually (shock, horror!) pursuing their own dreams to avoid failing. Denigrating others helps them to stick to their comfort zone- it confirms their limited belief that they shouldn’t dare try.

  11. Hi Matt,

    The category these people fall into is:
    ‘mis-creators’.
    The negative energy they bring serves to
    destroy and conquer and they just attract more
    of it to themselves.

    Unfortunately the best thing to do is ignore and
    avoid these people.

    Your blog is right on, but in itself a bit critical
    and destructive, so your kinda the pot calling
    the kettle here .. if you get me, but I know where you
    are trying to come from.

    I hadn’t heard of this rappers accident or the
    raft of negative comments, but as I’m a big believer
    in law of attraction, I don’t pay attention to that stuff
    so it never seems to reach me!

    Smile, feel love for yourself and others, look for the good and
    you will only see the good!
    X

  12. Totally agree – I am a gay guy that has been following you because I’m really interested in the behavioural dynamics field and have been thinking about applying this knowledge to a gay audience – it would be interesting to hear your thoughts on that – I like the way you put this info across – straight to the point no bulkshit and if people have a problem with a few swear words then crikey – your an inspiration mate. I think as you say whenever people have a problem with someone then that is flagging up something about themselves that needs looking at really but it’s easier for them to just say it’s your problem, you shouldn’t do this or be like that etc rather than say well why is that pissing me off ? And don’t get me started on the meanings we attach to everything that people do creating our own little fantasy stories in our head – maybe another time. Keep up the good work young sir – you’re helping a lot of people understand themselves and hence understand each other and that is a beautiful thing.

  13. Matthew,

    This is by far my favorite video you have posted. It is so easy to judge. We all do it. It’s human. You can tell a lot about a person from one simple comment that they post. People have no idea that they are really exposing a huge part of themselves when they do this. I agree with you, the first thing that comes to mind is a lack of something in their life. If someone is mean or plain out rude, the first thing we want to do is call them a bitch and move forward but if we all stop for one second and ask ourselves, before we judge, why is someone like that? What happened in their life to make them be so hateful. Or most of the time, what DIDN’T happen in their life to make them become so hateful? I am very blessed to have been brought up by incredible loving people who taught me respect and values but many people have not had such a luck. They struggle searching for the lack of something in their life because many times people don’t know what they’re looking for. And when it comes down to it, it’s love. If the people in this world practiced empathy… it would change everything. Thank you for sharing this. I admire your sense of empathy towards all people, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Martin Luther King said it best, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”

    Peace & Thimbles,
    Paula Acuna

    1. Pursue their greatness instead of trying to bring down others, especially those who have accomplished some form of greatness in their lives. Shame on all of those peops. Is this a form of adult bullying in a sense? Sad but real. Why do so many people continue to judge and fault in others or revil in their mistakes? Strange world we live in. As a South Carolina farmer once said “So much good in the worst of us, so much bad in the best of us. So what behooves us to judge any of us.” Takes a lot of practice to keep the judgment out of our lives but one that is worth a lifetime of happiness.
      Matthew you rocked this one!

  14. Matt, you touch so many people’s lives, even if you can’t reach the destroyers. Your encouragement, your being a strong model for right behavior, your insights give so many people the tools to work for good in their lives. We all know destroyers. As we become more confident in ourselves due to your guidance, and as we become less frightened of speaking up and showing the world who we are, each of us has an opportunity to call out people who are being unkind and call them toward right action. Your part in that is huge, by being here for us regularly, to inspire us and challenge us to think. I believe in what you are doing, and I am thankful for your voice in the world.

  15. Ouch. Did I waste five minutes berating this young man on line? No I did not. However, after seeing a clip of the incident on the news, did I proclaim ” what an idiot” ? Yes I did. Did the news report on his apology and remorse? No they did not. I am thankful for the whole story. We are all guilty of being caught up in a moment, but did we follow through with a penance? Good for him!

  16. Thank you, Matthew! No, not in strict connection with that rapper guy (I don’t really know who that is), but for the positive energy you inspire.

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