Ditch Your Excuse and Get Your Guy

I know you have an excuse that’s stopping you from getting what you want.

I know because for the last 7 years I’ve had women just like you coming to me with all manner of excuses for why they’ve not gotten their guy.

Maybe it’s your age, how you look, lack of time…

Whatever it is that’s holding you back, it needs to be gotten over, and I want to show you exactly how to do that…

http://www.alsa.org/

What’s your excuse?

-Is it true? Are you using it too much? Have you decided it’s going to make you weaker or stronger? (as you can choose either path)

Write it down, analyse it, and realise you have the power to turn it into something that can actually be a gift.

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63 Replies to “Ditch Your Excuse and Get Your Guy”

  1. Well done on the ice bucket challenge Matt , that was one hell of a bucket!

    I think it’s only right that you nominate Jameson to be next :-)

    1. Yep, I think there are many who would be thrilled at the unveiling of the Mystery Called Jameson – with or without ice water!

  2. Oh my god Matthew, I just love waking up with your videos on Sundays morning. This one was very was refreshing ;)

    Have a wonderful time during your retreat program.I hope I will be able to come for the next session.

    Big hugs!!!
    Anita

  3. Matt: Thank you so much. That was my wake-up ice-bucket!

    Know exactly where those dating-site little red crosses going to show up – too old, too small – and the pic says ‘and not pretty enough either.’

    And am I a great partner? You bet!

    Or will be once I get shot of the belief that I’m not good enough. Cue ‘Chariots of Fire’ or similar…

    Thanks again – Kate

    PS: We as a sociey might also be healthier and a great deal happier if most of us had partners, so wonder why this isn’t seen as a serious policy issue?

  4. Thanks for sharing that poem, I loved it! — sort of reminds me of Sr. Seuss ;)

    I really get your point, Matt.
    Actually I ask myself that question often, whether my excuse is valid. The thing is, mostly it IS valid, AND I know it is going to make me stronger in the long run — though I am also not happy with the immediate consequences.

    Sometimes, we have things that need prioritization in our lives even if it leaves us in a very uncomfortable spot in other respects at the moment. And that’s OK in my book if it goes on for a while. Being in this kind of situation for years however makes it a tedious process where, yes, one is tempted to shortcut into more pleasurable, “easier” scenarios (even if those are still not the actual place where one wants to be … in other contexts, you speak of this as “settling”).

    I have been having these moments. Maybe ironically, your speaking of excuses has reminded me of the fact that, indeed, my excuses are very real and the tradeoff (NOT being in a relationship, NOT having a fine circle of friends, NOT excelling in my career right now) is a conscious choice I made in this phase of my life to really really get some stuff sorted within myself.

    This reminder tremendously changes my level of aggravation in waking up on a dreary rainy Sunday morn NOT lovingly embraced, puts the situation back into perspective, me back in the driver’s seat and empowered, and the grin back onto my face as I say, “suck it up, buttercup” hahaha

    Thanks tons :)

  5. First thank you for the smiles. Second no matter who you are if you think negative all you’ll find is negativity. You have to break through that barrier and think positive so that you bring the positive to you.The things I notice is when I get up in the morning and I see myself… I repeat to myself in the mirror. I am deserving of love because I am love.
    Thank you for all your positive criticism Matt!

  6. Thank you so much for this video. To be frank, you should have had a pile of ice cubes in the bucket – not just water. LOL

    Your video made me think of my excuses. And what hit home with me is when you said if a person thinks negatively about herself/himself, this radiates.
    In the past two years I have goine thru an ordeal of medical treatments and surgeries that is incredible, followed by a cortisone treatment that lasted till May of his year. Needles to say, I gained weight although I exerciesd a lot.
    Your example and an encounter that I had yeasterday showed me that I must have radiated that I felt negatively about myself. I kept thinking often “I am such a looser – I gain weight….no control….and I am sure nobody wants to burden himself with my problems.”
    Now I realize that such an attitude turns off guys. Yesterday I was collecting signatures against a crazy construction project, and at the stand I met a guy with him I had a nice conversation until I asked him about his job, and then he stammered that he was out of work, and in that moment he radiated so much self-pity and “I am a looser” that I saw clearly that what one thinks radiates to the outside and that I have done no better when I was full of cortisone.

    When people get everything easily, they do not develop strength. That is true. For the first time I clearly see the struggles I have gone thru as a positive thing. I admit in the past I sometimes used to be a bit envious about people who were fed with the gold spoon.

    Lately I have lost the weight again, and many people complimented be about it. That made me feel good. I want to go out more now and show my regained positive attitude. Next Saturday I will collect signatures against that construction project again, and that is a good exercise because I actively have to approach people on the street and talk with them.

    Yes, I can do it.

  7. I don’t get it why so many people complain about their love life. The people I know, who do that have been at least in one relationship. Sure they’re hurt if it comes to an end. But hey at least they HAD/HAVE a relationship or were loved at some point in their life. Did I mention that they find a new partner very quickly? They should be happy and don’t bother people with no love life at all. (Sorry about my English, it’s not my native language)Reiki

  8. 2007 huh? Very insightfully written poem.
    You really know people and women.

    The more I watch your videos, the more I think
    I could have amazing dinner conversation or just
    Going for a walk with this guy. And yhat’s awesome.

    Please schedule again in new york or new england.
    Tickets sold out too fast. :(

    Stay interesting! Love it. =)

  9. I know i am full of excuses and this makes me frustrated and angry with myself. This video also made me cry.
    we live in a world where people hide behind social media and phone apps to meet people. I hear guys i know talk about the women they meet on these apps. I am not on these apps or web sites and briefly think maybe i should… Bit its not me.
    i used to be good at talking to people and meeting new people.
    heartbreak and lack of practice has lost my confidence. All i hear in my head is to stand out you need to be doing the thing that no one else is doing. The sad part of our society today it that it is talking to people is the stand out thing.
    so today, i have a wee cry, get annoyed, get up, get dressed, take my camera and go out with the goal of saying hi to just one person.
    keep up the good work Matt, love this and the impact course

    Jen x

  10. Hi Matt,
    I’m one of the fucking idiots that nominated you for the ALS ice bucket challenge and I’m so glad you accepted the challenge and didn’t pussy out of it! I knew some part of you deep, deep down would want to participate in this, solely out of your love and concern for other people :) and I knew you’d be brave enough to put aside your own comfort for a few minutes. I’ve watched a lot of ice bucket challenge vids and that has to be the biggest bucket of ice water I’ve seen so far! Felt a little bad for you watching you gasp from the shock of being doused in ice water lol-but it’s worth it. Thanks for aiding in bringing awareness to this cause!!

    Great poem!! Great vid on confronting excuses!

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