Hey guys, check out this video first before moving on to the second one, as I use it here to illustrate my point.
If you’ve ever experienced the pain of losing someone, there is a technique you need to learn for shifting the emotion you feel when you’re heartbroken. So even if you’re not heartbroken right now, maybe you have been in the past, or maybe you want to be fully equipped with it for the future!
Click Here To Change Your Love Life Forever
Song for the day:
I sometimes wonder if we get addicted to rejection and heartbreak. I’ve moped around over unrequited loves to a point where i have no energy left for guys who actually like me.
So true..your insights are just fabulous and I really look forward to them. It helps to know none of us are alone in our experiences along lifes path.
My pain is like a scab reopened – he has a new girlfriend after 3 1/2 years of us – it happened without warning. The issue is that I have a vacation property “shangri la” on a lake where my soul was at peace. We met there and his vacation property is 7 mins away. My passion is sailing and racing there – a small intimate group – so we are in that same social group of my friends mainly. I now have to see him and his new love at these fun events with his arms around her!! It reopens the wound. Yes …obviously we were not to be and if my love was truly unconditional and real I should be very happy for him but ….. really really hard to do in this circumstance.
Loved this video and regina specktor! Ditto again on it. :) It took me awhile to learn to just think of the pain in a different way; you learn and you move on cuz’ the world will not wait for you. It helps to think more positively, too that sometimes its just not meant to be and the right one might just be around the corner if you keep trying and to not take things personally. Pain is normal and it makes you humane. :)
I felt pain with the most recent guy I liked, then he just ended up disappointing me because he had issues with self image (he cared too much what people thought about him)… It just turned me off and the fact he lead me on and was too afraid to take another step further…. and I was hurt, but more disappointed. It was much easier for me to move on from what happened and not take it personally. Why would I want to be with someone like that in the first place you know? Sometimes you just gotta think of situations in third person and reflect. Thankfully I found out sooner then later. :)
Thanks for the video, I loved the movie; it’s such a bittersweet movie and just amazing in general. Keep up the great work Matt.
GRACIAS!!! I actually pretended not to be hurt in front of my friends but it just hurts more, and I think this video made me relize that I’m actually in pain and there’s a way to handle that :) (hope my english is not too bad)
Thank you! Perfect timing, I’m sending this to a friend right now!
I wish you had a physical book. Not an E-Book or anything like that… But something I could go to the store and buy and own and read.
I’d like a physical book also.
i would love that too.. ;)
I’ve been hurt before and i know exactly the pain you’re talking about.. but i also know we need that pain, you are totally right. Mary Oliver once wrote : “Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness.It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.”
And i think these words… they say it all.
Thank You Matt, you are gorgeous with what you’re doing… greeting and love from Poland! Ewa x
THANK YOU!
Looking at a situation with a new perspective,and associating a different meaning to what happened in the past is VERY helpful.
I am sure there are many people out there who blame themselves for eg. “not being good enough” (or such like), when that is simply not true! This point that you raised, has given great Clarity to myself and I’m sure many others.
You are changing many lives with your gems of knowledge about relationships!
Thanks Again Matthew.
Ginni ( Auckland, New Zealand )
Great video and inspiring message Matt…I realise that I had the wrong perspective when thinking about pain and love! Now I’ve totally switch on, and say yes to the next one!! Thanks for bringing a smile on my face :-) .. YES!!!
Somehow you always manage to put a smile on my face! Thank you so much!
I just wonder, when you know exactly what to do in every situation, do you ever get to be yourself, or does your love life turn into feeling only forced?
Thank you
How to recover from a heartbreak where you were told to F**k Off, Go F**k yourself, F**k U etc. by a guy whom I thought was my destiny.
Cry, punch a pillow, yell at God, fart, barf. . . take one hour at a time, take a bath/shower . . . cry again, clean room, do laundry, wash dishes . . . cry, fart, barf . . . clean house, shower/bathe, put your face on and go for a walk . . . get groceries, plan menu/make it tasty – make a nice spread for yourself. Works for me – might work for you as well as a start.
Hi Matt,
Interesting blogg!
Not sure it really hit the spot for me though. I still can’t get over my ex and despite dating and meeting great guys am still reminded of him and think of him which prevents me from moving on. Just telling myself he wasn’t the one for me or the ”right” one hasn’t seemed to work so far and he is always the one I compare all the guys I meet to! No one measures up! :(
I’m still persevering in the hope I will meet someone soon that can make me forget him! But it’s not as easy as you make it sound I’m afraid! X
I have had it for 6 years. There was a time when i tried to date different guys just so i could move on- that was a wrong reason to look for a guy. you need to first get over the ex before you are ready to meet someone new. I managed to get into terms that the guy is not right to me. I used to jump in and out the relationship with him. Now I’m done with that and if i want to move on i have to move on!!!
I still think and compare others to him and think about him, but that’s the point of healing. The moment you realize that you can actually think of him and just not feel angry or sad but happy you are not wasting anymore of your precious life being around him is what you need. I’m there now. And it is hard sometimes he’s around and looks like he’s changed or tries harder to get you back (he’s used to having you in and out the relationship). Don’t be deceived- you’ve been there- nothing has changed. Don’t waste your time going back to him (no one can stop you thinking about him) be honest with yourself. And just as Matthew said before, set your standards in a guy and make sure you get the right guy before you fall for him.
This video is good but I feel we are all individuals that experience pain different, also circumstances vary in each relationship as well and in my case, I am in my late 40’s, married 3 times and have looked for the man of my dream my whole life. I finally found him in Australia!!!! but he dumped me less than a month ago. I am totally devastated because I didn’t see it coming at all.
It is true that once we are deeply in love or that we really love someone from the bottom of our heart, we expect it to be “the one” until the end of our lives…
unfortunately this is rarely the case: we change and so does life and it has some unexpected turns that make us fragile, heartbroken and completely lost…
But why should we give it up just for one person who thought we weren’t good enough to stay in our life?
ALWAYS stay positive, no matter what happens..imagine all those great people who can still come in our lifes, make us laugh and appreciate us for who we really are: sounds like an adventure still to discover :-)
We are so much on this planet that there will be at least 1 that suits you…or plenty.. :-)
I am single for years now, not found the right nice guy until now (except for the bad boys who play the nice guys…)and I try to stay positive, be myself in the best way by loving myself, being confident, having my standards and especially having fun and as Alycia said, no expectations..
Be happy with who you are and your life and it will be less difficult to feel lost if a guy goes off…it’s hiss loss ;-)
I have to say that all my friends think that way and we always support each other in difficult times.
So make sure you can count on your friends and you’ll be fine…friendship lasts;-)
Matthew, your videos are great, continue sending them to us because we know that somewhere there is a guy “made for us” ;-) sometimes we just need a reminder to recognize the good ones and be more brave approaching them. You’re doing a great job !!
I spread your news..;-)
I’m so glad you decided to talk on this topic.
Hey Matt!
Oh, 500 days of summer is such a good movie and that may be the greatest and heartbreaking scene I know!
It really describes reality, and how easily it can be to fall into that annoying pain. I can sometimes find myself in that horrible pain and being like that for a really long time, and realizing several months later that nothing has changed! And breaking that pattern, but especially that way of thinking, is extremely difficult.
So thank you for sharing that! I really love your e-mails and videos cuz they’re always full of good things and I always look forward to the next one!
Keep sending them, and please give us who can’t travel to your seminars, something to work with, it would be worth gold!
Z
Yes, that movie was a very good movie. I found myself crying to this scene, very heartbreaking. Looks like a simple movie, but it continued touching my heart.
Matt – thank you for this video. It is just what I needed to hear – I’ve been feeling a lot of pain from a recent breakup. This has helped me tremendously to cope with those feelings and move on.
here is yy from china shanghai, nice song for today, and love your thoughts, keep doing that nice work! thank you!
Hi Matt, it’s fantastic to see this video. However, I can’t get through the pain that my relationships usually last for 2 months then the guy left me as he wanted sex and I couldn’t do that. The only reason is that I just want to give my virginity to my future husband and have my first time on the wedding day, I tried to explain to my ex boy friend but he didn’t accept that, so he left me. It seems as the normal problem incurred whenever I’m in a relationship. I always get hurt when the guy left me because of that, I don’t know what I should do whether I should do whatever he wants or still keep my perspective. Hope you can give me good advices.
Thanks Matt x
My daughter is in the same situation as you… she is a virgin and wants to remain that way until she marries her future husband, whoever he may be.
I say bravo to you… hang in there and you WILL find a man who is willing to wait, because he will love you enough that he will have self control. A man who wants you only for sex is no catch!
Hey, just don`t hang with guys who have other beliefs than you!! Look to meet a Christian guy…he will certainly respect your desire to remain virgin until marriage!!
Never compromise!! Talk about your beliefs from the beginning, guarding your heart is a wise thing to do!