“Eww…look at that stomach.”
“I hate my chubby legs.”
“I wish I had better skin.”
This is how we talk to ourselves every single day.
In this week’s blog video, I share a story about my own moment of body insecurity, and give you 2 ways to INSTANTLY improve your body image so that you can walk through the world with confidence again.
I compare myself to Ellie Goulding, as she is not skinny but well toned with a femine figure….beautiful! I have a curvy figures and often guys say 98% prefer this to waifs so I am happy. I work out 4 times a week, like you at home and always pleased with the way it makes me feel energised and toned, at 53 I am not too bad for my age and feel sexier than when I did in my 20’s, as lacked confidence which I now get from great positive friends, both male and female…so happy :)
Queen Latifah is my body type I’ve lost 50 pounds have 50 more to go going to be 70 years old I want a man to love me for the way I love myself hopefully I will find one
What a great message today coach! Making the most with what you have.
Most people struggle to keep their body in shape. For me things are quite easy. My body measurements match those of Diane Kruger (same height, weight, eyes color). My weight was never an issue. So the big challenge, for me, was to prove that I am something more than just a pretty face/body.
You see that is what I praise in you. While you are clearly a handsome man, you are not left assured. You continue to learn and evolve as a person and you have achieved so much. That is whom I am determined to be!!!
I’m a very small and petite women. I have struggled with my body image. I really don’t know who I could compare myself to. I do enjoy listening to your videos.
Hi Tracee – I struggled with the same during my so-called dating years, appearing much younger than I was, being treated like a child even when an adult. It felt very limiting. My body has been through many changes and I only felt confident in it after I had kids, they were grown and I started going through menopause. This is the opposite of what we’re taught to expect. Having the kids gave me confidence and that has been the most effective change of all. I receive a lot more positive attention (from everyone) now that I behave more confidently. I shrug off people’s insensitive comments easier, I surround myself only with people who lift me up and do the same for them. These have been the keys to feeling beautiful and sexy, for the first time, at 52.
One I started to compare myself to Ashley Graham (plus size model – whom my body type has a lot in common with) I realized that 1- I wasn’t that far from her vibe, 2- the “distance” was mostly things I could work on and 3- it’s amazing how guys are telling me they think she is stunning and sexy. Got me straightening my shoulders, walking proud, doing Pilates and I feel better than I ever did about my body!
I’m 39 and I just started dating a 29 year old. Met him at the gym in the sauna actually. This younger hotter woman was chatting him up and I was shocked when he asked ME out. Later out for a drink I told him I was 10 years older and he said Perfect! Then he explained the reasons he prefers to date an older woman: you know what you want, I don’t have to invent you, you have your own life so you aren’t going to freak out if i can’t text you back right away. Then the subject turned to physical differences. I was again shocked that he is not attracted to a super firm toned physique. He said “strong is sexy, but only if you’re soft too! I’m not trying to date a dude!” I realized that although there are areas of my bod I can always improve… I’m still Smokin hot if I am confident and behind my own value! The situation is great practice for countering my insecurities about aging with affirmations coming from a super sweet sexy stud!
Hi, sorry, this has nothing to do with body image although I have some issues. I bought your program but found that the pages jumped around too much. If I was sent a small paper manual I would be able to read it more easily. BTW, I’m a attractive, singe(divorced) 54 yr. old. When I was younger and thinner I had a rockin body.(large boobs) Now with getting older and gaining a lot of weight 5ft. 180 lbs(cry, cry)I am self-conscious. Sigh I have a strange kind of man that is attracted to me. Only want hook-ups. I like romance, wine and dine.
I used to go to the gym but now I have knee and ankle problems which I am working on.
I feel, Matthew, that in order to move ahead and get the body that you crave, it is important firstly, to embrace who you are right now. This is about unconditional love. Helen xx
Being a woman poses extra layers of obstacles to self love and acceptance because of the common standards imposed upon us through media. I am an anomaly if I compared myself to the rest of my peers as defined by stereotype. With a “large” frame (by measurement of the wrist) at 5’9″, 36D and 160 lbs, I’m not your typical Chinese woman. To boot, I didn’t grow up in America. Dating has always been a challenge even though height difference doesn’t bother me. In fact, I’m attracted to shorter men just as much as men who tower over me. This is a great reminder to be in love with ourself first and break out of the prison of self criticism. The more I love myself, the more I feel at ease in my own skin. Great lesson!
I aspire to have a physique like Kelly Osbourne. She is still a more curvaceous woman but has lost weight the last couple years and looks healthy and gorgeous. It is completely realistic for me to aspire to tone the way she did. This thought is far from defeating, like if I was comparing myself to Brittany spears.I will look in the mirror today and give myself a smile at how I can rock it like Kelly.
Hey!
I just love what u said… .i have a mild dysmorphic phobia and alot of depression regarding my body image and my face looks… But non of my psychologists ever said what u did…it was helpful! Ill try to remember these words the next time i go through a depressive episode…
And your voice is amazing honestly…
OMGoodness! You are so sexy! Who cares about others….Bruce Lee was one of my favorites…growing up…The first Chinese Superstar….a wonderful role model…not for me…My 2 brothers took Kung Fu..to be just like him…My oldest brother is a Tai Chi Master…took a different path..but, he is so good at that….I am very happy in my own skin…finally…At the age of 54..turning 55…I feel wonderful…Proud of the way I look…Been mistaken for being much younger…& take pride in that…I think that comes with life experience…and maintaining a healthy weight by eating right…& especially exercising..My passions in life are Dancing, singing, & playing the harp. When everything is in alignment…Body, Mind, & spirit…Everything else just falls into place..It helps being a Dietary Technologist too! ;) <3 Love you …just the way you are Matthew!
Hii Matt!! You remember me of a boyfriend i had ten years ago.. haha. Well i want to say that everyone is really beauty, just being clean and in your weight, some exercise and always remember…a big smile. Evrything has a solution, maybe you need a little professional help with teeth or something, its ok. Also walking with your head up, and the right clothes and comfortable shoes makes you take the best part of your body to get magic!!
Good night from Mexico!!
Body Image Movement my friends! Get amongst it! And she is about to release the doco ‘Embrace’ #ihaveembraced
Would it not be better to ACCEPT YOURSELF AS YOU ARE ???
So if one is unhealthy/out of shape, one should “accept yourself as you are”???
If you mean in terms of comparing yourself to others, Matt did say we should have a ‘race with ourselves’ and think about where we will be if we don’t/do work out or live a healthy lifestyle 6 months from now. And then he said IF we “must” compare ourselves to others, we should at least compare ourselves to someone who has the same body type as ours because that will give us something realistic to aspire to.
Maybe next time try watching the video first before commenting…
I am extremely lucky to have acquired great genes from my parents. I work out very little but I do watch my food intake. Of course I would be happier with my body if I worked out on a regular basis and I could definitely have a flatter stomach! But the bottom line is this;.if you “connect” with a man, he doesn’t care if you have a little muffin top, that you are not perfectly fat free! Get over your insecurities because what is in your heart is what is the most important@
I’ve been once in a gym, or twice – not my thing..
There are horses to ride, or bicycles, swimming (preferably in the ocean)and what not.
I get the problem though..
I was excessively dancing at some point and was in classes where people were VERY advanced. It was good to push myself, but as you say – a little discouraging. I was immensely flexible, no one in my ‘normal life’ could compete. I did lots of other sports on the side (some by myself, in my room).
BUT: For me it didn’t count, I compared myself to the best in class..
So with body image in general, I’m cautious. The more I want to be perfect the more I feel flawed, no matter the progress or feedback I get and I end up feeling miserable!
I’ve done this game several times: Start afresh! I can get there again, I did it before. Still it’s frustrating considering where I’ve been.. starting below zero (again!).
So .. ‘to do’: Get my mind off it! That’s the only discipline I have to follow!
From the huge repertoire of what I could be doing.. what I’m ACTUALLY gonna do is simple:
1. eat one fresh thing a day (fruit; herbs; cook something unprocessed)
2. stretch, daily for 3-5 minutes min.! Can include exercise of any kind, up to 1h max.!
Other little things that do me good are:
Getting some fresh air = go for a little walk; run up stairs, or take 2 at a time (it’s hard not to); stand on one foot when in line at the supermarket; stand on my toes when waiting for the bus. Because it’s fun!
For a role model, I don’t have one right now. Maybe I get inspired from the comments here, can be a good thing.
Hi Matt
My first time to comment :-)
I don not see the need to torture myself with perfect images, because no one is perfect. I strive to accentuate the things I know works for me, things I get complimented on and rather build from that. I am of average build, look much younger than I am and have been blessed with pretty eyes and a dashing smile, therfore I accentuate the eyes and wear colors and clothes that I get complimented on by both sexes and of course no one can resist a smile.
Thank you for your video’s, it breaks my sometimes mundane routine, working throug e-mails and I really apreciate the fact that they are not long and boring and takes too much time out of my busy schedule.
Keep up the good work!
Reese Witherspoon or Paige Parker
I think my struggle with body image came to an end when I realized it wasn’t about my body at all – it was about accepting where I wwas physically in that moment and accepting my entire “self” – including my physical body.
in that moment I got there. No longer shaming myself – or comparing myself to another’s physical appearance as “successful and deserving” of love and a relationship. HUGE moment!
I needed to focus on my success by working at my own paceand saying it’s ok where I am – right in this moment.
Then deciding that I wanted a healthy and fit life – and that was loving and accepting of my body- and myself. I am a work in progress and that’s ok…. What a releif that is to know and accept.
You are totally correct in choosing a “same body type’ role model. Bravo well done…..
I have over 80 pounds to lose – one pound a time my friend – My body role models are Amy Schumer and Mad Men actress Christina Hendricks. Close to my body shape and I believe achieveable.
Hendricks sums up succinctly how I want to feel when she recently revealed that she got her voluptuous shape after gaining weight while working as a model in Italy. The 38-year-old put on 15 pounds eating pasta and drinking cappuccinos. She says: “I loved how it changed my appearance and how it made me look more womanly and sexy.”
For me – healthy first! Then Fit – Feeling womanly – sexy – voluptuous and curvy!
That is what I think when I work out and hit the gym! And especially when I am out on the dating scene…… Healthy – Fit – womanly – sexy – voluptuous and curvy!
Count me in! Now pass the barbells will ya’!