“Eww…look at that stomach.”
“I hate my chubby legs.”
“I wish I had better skin.”
This is how we talk to ourselves every single day.
In this week’s blog video, I share a story about my own moment of body insecurity, and give you 2 ways to INSTANTLY improve your body image so that you can walk through the world with confidence again.
I am quite confident in my body , however ever since a year ago my skin is out of control due to a disease …. Now luckily it is all treatable and my skin will go back to being flawless ! I wanna compare myself to Kendall Jenner who looks a lot like me and also used to have terrible acne .. She now has poreless skin and looks absolutely gorgeous !
Love this; thank you, Matthew! I also love what you write in your book about translating body confidence into the context of dating, which isn’t in this video: if a guy is on a date with you / in bed with you, he finds you sexy. This is great advice to make us ladies feel certain of that too :)
Great advice.
My body issue is being flat chested and it’s something I don’t think about a lot because it’s not obvious when clothed. But I would worry about it if I was seriously dating a guy.
This issue is specific I feel because it doesn’t come from comparing myself to others who are bigger – in fact I have no desire at all to have big boobs – but that I feel there is nothing there / something missing and that this may be off-putting. Whilst I can definitely take this advice by only comparing myself with other ‘flat-chested’ women, I don’t feel my insecurity really comes from a comparison.
Worse, there isn’t much I can do or ‘work towards’ in having more fat on my chest! I.e. I can’t compare with a future self unless I had a breast enlargement which I don’t want.
Any advice/tips? x
I was flat chested until I hit 40 then my body shape became more voluptuous and curvy. My breasts are still growing through my perimenopause. I was a size 32A, now at the age of 51 I am a 34C, so hang in there girl there is hope to come for you.
3 approaches:
– start weight lifting. Build up your pecs, your latissimus dorsi, your deltoids.
– learn and use great posture every moment of your life. Suck your tummy in for the rest of your life and KEEP YOUR RIB CAGE LIFTED.
– take a class — burlesque, pole dancing, belly dancing, stripping…. your choice! They will help teach you to get in touch with your femininity. Quit concentrating on what you don’t have and focus on your assets!
Or not! I’m big-chested and OLD and I don’t need the competition! ;-)
I love this! At 48, I thought I’d heard it all about body confidence and image…and here, I found something new :) It is silly to compare yourself to someone who is BIOLOGICALLY built differently…that makes zero sense! I also like the idea of visualizing where I’ll be in 6 mos if I don’t make healthy choices…and where I will be if I DO. Thank you. :)
I am very tall and quite heavily muscled for a woman. I do carry some fat that makes me a typical pear shape too. I always felt I looked like a wrestler. Venus and Serena Williams are tall, very strong women who have muscles. They are both awesome athletes and very good looking women. I’d love to embrace my physique the way they do but I don’t move in the circles they do. If I got toned and lean I would still be bigger than the majority of blokes I meet, lol. I’d just be a big bird with muscles, lol. My height doesn’t put everyone off but it puts lots of people off. I love being tall but I see it as a major minus in my chances of finding a partner. Maybe doing pilates again, because I loved the way it elongated my muscles, would be a good way to improve my confidence. Turning my body into a more efficient machine will definitely help.
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I’m really sorry for communicating in a way that is potentially hurtful to other people. I know I do that a little or. Lot and it’s not OK to hurt others like that. I apologize