Loneliness. I’ve felt it too.
But I’ve realized over the years that there are ways to break free of this and feel empowered and connected again.
If you’re not sure where to turn right now, make sure you watch this message…
►► Don’t go it alone. Let’s take this life-changing journey together…MatthewHusseyRetreat.com
Thank you Matt. My boyfriend died three years ago and I can’t begin to tell you how lonely I still feel. The uniqueness of the situation (it was my 50th birthday; we were only together 9 months; we lived together, etc), it all adds up to a situation that I feel other people can’t relate to. I want to move on and find happiness again.
WOW Matthew!!! I woke up around 3am tossing and turning as I couldn’t sleep with crappy thoughts; thinking about finances and whether I could put food on the table this week, life’s big curve balls thrown at me and my ex husband who’s holidaying abroad …. pretty sweet :( generally feeling pretty crappy. I watched your video and just burst out in tears. At the moment it feels that there’s one big party out there and I didn’t get the bloody invite!
Thanks for this message, it’s touching and incredible the way you express this problem that many people have including myself. Thanks, blessings. (Saludos from Mexico)
You are such an amazingly, beautiful soul, Matthew. Thank you for all you do. I am so very, very grateful.
One point you mentioned in this video that resonated with me was that we seek like minded people and find that here. I think this is true. Thank you for all of your work. I listen to your videos regularly and pass them on to my friends.
Andi
Thank you ..I find these videos really helpful
Im so inspired by this video! Thank you for your support and eye opening ideas! )))
Matt, Steven, and the kind yet cryptic voice from behind the camera,
Thank you so much!
I’m in my late.40’s, a church secretary,and divorced since 01, with 4 independent grown-ups who call me “MOM”. My salary is just over $300. A week,which is enough and I’m extremely in love with what I do! But I mention it to explain how you’ve inspired me. My life has always been dictated by the age /stage that my children were in, the money I made,or the mean men that I’ve associated myself with. I have been in a ” destination mindset” waiting to live life until I found “the ONE”. Ya’ll have helped me to realize that I can feel strong, intelligent, independent,adventurous and dream….all on my own, and that a partner only adds to my amazing life. You have helped me to see that I have worth as a stand-alone peice.
Since beginning to listen to your weekly videos, I’ve stepped out on life’s limb. I’ve started to race my car and even got some sponsors to help support my habit! I’ve always been a gear head, but never had the confidence to pursue my heart. After watching one of your videos, where it speaks on investing in yourself and doing the things you enjoy, and how you’ll meet people who have the same interests… I signed up for track days this spring. I couldn’t afford it, so I asked for support in exchange for advertising. It WORKED!” Even my dentist gave me $50.00! People think that I’m ” becoming someone else”… I’m just able to be more of “ME” than I’ve ever been. Thanks guys! I’ve really met someone amazing through this journey with you, someone fun who accepts me,thinks I’m hilarious and is so fun to hang out with! The person is ME! I’ve been waiting for a long time to feel worthy of someone’s love.. When all along I just needed to love myself. You and Jesus helped me realize that I am so worth it! Even if I’m still single! I love you guys! Thank you!!
P .s. I race again on labor day weekend at Road Atlanta! Wish me luck!
Inspiring!
This is an amazing message from your video, it came in handy… Thank you so much Matthew…(Rachael from Nigeria)
I wanted to comment on this video. I agree on the companionship. I agree that one can be lonely in a relationship. Have experienced both. I ve also had more fun and laughter in times away with girlfriends than I have ever had in a relationship!
Interesting fact, nurses undertake one to one nursing in an intensive care unit. Sometimes nurses spend 12 hour shifts monitoring a very unwell patient in single room. They are isolated from communication with other members of staff. That has caused a problem with staff retention and staff moral.
Translate that into life. I know I am not designed to be a lone operator. But life has made me that. I live in a house by myself. I work long hours in front of a computer in a non communicative environment! There is nothing at home. Owning a house means responsibility of looking after it, which has kept me for hours at home painting and decorating by myself. More alone time!!
When I get really tired I get home and I feel very disconnected. I want to connect with someone but there isn’t anyone. It actually makes me feel physically odd! I get tearful and feel narky! Not the best mood to ring up a friend!! So do I ring a up a friend and say I am feeling lonely? I cant really.
I did say to a couple of friends that I felt very lonely once. All that happened was that they looked embarrassed, stared at the floor! I felt really awkward. They couldnt offer warmth. Not the right friends to share with obviously!! I ve known them for 20 years! If someone said that to me, I would say, lets go for a coffee and a chat and try and cheer them up. Which may help. Just no understanding. So not only have I got myself into this funny set up, I am also connecting with friends who are not giving the right response. They would probably suggest a practical solution such as join a group. They didn’t understand that youd just like to have a chat and a cup of tea and giggle with someone that you know!
I don’t meet anyone and don’t know how to get out to connect with anyone sometimes and its not a stranger its actually connecting with someone you know that is important. A relationship will not solve those things, but it should help if its the right person.
Some people are introverts ie they get their energy from being alone. Some people are extroverts ie they get their energy from being with people. So what happens if one is the latter yet there is no people energy around. I feel like a wilted flower!! No good connecting with introverts. Interested in others experiences? How do you all connect outwards?
Hi Sandy,
Just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge your note. Sorry you had that experience with the 20+ years friends. Maybe later they wished they responded differently. And now you have the ability to be a good friend to the next woman who tries to share her feelings of loneliness. For I don’t think you are alone, ironically, in your loneliness, through no fault of your own. I believe the distinct co-occurrence of western first world factors has resulted in an epidemic of lonely folks that at any other time in history would have been fully integrated members of a community. But remember, there is always a trade-off. Myself, I rarely feel lonely but I often feel grateful for privacy, for free time to pursue my art, for freedom from other people’s demands. (The most exhausted, stressed out, hair-trigger close to 51/50 individuals in our society are working, married or single, moms.)
Then again, I am lucky that my introverted temperment, as you noted, predisposes me to solo bliss.
However, if my empathy has moved you in any way, as I hope it would, then maybe you can reconsider your stance on friendship across personality types? Not sure why you ruled out the quiet listeners, lol, I know we have our quirks! But wish you the best, from my corner of the room, where I am hiding behind a book avoiding small talk. ;)
Love you, Matt. Thank you.
Always hitting the spot, Mathew…This video came handy tonight :)
And you are right, you do feel like a long distance friend that it’s just there when you’re in need of support, or a bit of reflection, wherever I am at that particular moment.
Hugs from Gaza
Not finding people to think alike with… so TRUE. I need people I can just bounce around ideas with!! Many of my friends think of me more as a mentor. I really feel so blessed to be in a position where I can help everybody, but I do wish I just had a group of friends I could think with! (*Who are also kind and fun people. I get a kick out of all my friends for different reasons, but it’s just hard to find all three of those traits in the same person!)
I love watching your videos Matt, even when they’re things that don’t pertain to me like long-distance relationships I love the way your mind works, and even after I’ve found my guy, I’ll always keep up with your new discoveries about people and life! You’re eternally interesting and wonderful!!
Everytime you start to say impact I start to drink wine! It´s kind of fun! People should start to be more humorous. You know sometimes I´m annoyed. How to get the guy, how to be successfull, how to be not lonely…. But what is about being yourself? Doing what you are loving to do? What is it about to being free and not to do care about every little feeling? Thanks to your videos I start to realise that I wouldn´t change the way Im texting a guy or how I do should talk to him. I start to realise that I really do love myself and if I´m to strong, to agressive or to weak or to shy.. than the guy isn´t good enough for me! If you feel lonely do what makes you happy. Easy. If woman would realise that they are enough and that they do not need a man to complete themselfs, the world would finally change. And it would be nice if you would learn how to get the girl, because your talking of how to attract a guy is really selfish and arrogant.
Excellent video. I have so much to say about loneliness in a relationship. I agree on the companionship.My work is a very fun place to work because I get to interact with so many people during my shift. But when I come home I feel lonely and isolated. I live in house with my son but feels like we are stranger.At times for days we don’t see each other or talk with each other. I come home try to be positive and start with my music loud as possible to get that feeling I am not alone or lonely.I will think about having companion relationship.
Thank you Mathew
Thank you, Truly Thank you.
I have stage 4 cancer and am going through an overseas divorce. Im too scared to get involved, my husband was very abusive, both mentally and physically. Im working very hard to end the marriage as i refused to die being attached to such a monster, in nz… but I’m lonely i wish to be with someone but how do you find someone with cancer…i have been fighting both cancer and trying to finally be free..i have purposely avoided relationships until I’m no longer married.. I’m hoping there is someone out there but thats a lot to hope for??
I have stage 4 cancer and am going through an overseas divorce. Im too scared to get involved, my husband was very abusive, both mentally and physically. Im working very hard to end the marriage as i refused to die being attached to such a monster, in nz… but I’m lonely i wish to be with someone but how do you find someone with cancer…i have been fighting both cancer and trying to finally be free..i have purposely avoided relationships until I’m no longer married.. I’m hoping there is someone out there but thats a lot to hope for??
Matt and the team, definitively this podcast matter to me. Not only I learn here new things…but you make my life happier. I feel this place as a community and when I watch your videos it makes me feel less alone in this world. Honestly, I cannot imagine my life without you anymore :-) I hope this “meetings” never stop. Thx
Thank you so much…. really….