The biggest problem with dating is that it can be a big waste of time.
And let’s face it, as a single woman, if it’s a choice between your own delightful company or a boring dinner date trying to scratch around for conversation topics with some guy you’re not that into, your couch and laptop are going to win that battle every time.
So here are three golden first date tips for anyone who wants to date without all the disappointment (and without all the long drawn-out dinners of 90’s TV-sitcom cliché).
1. Do Things You Would Want To Do Anyway
People tend to hate dating when it involves doing things you don’t want to do.
If a guy texts asking if you want to go to some bar and it all sounds pretty boring, inspire him to do better!
Just respond and say: “I’ve found this really cool art exhibition I’m desperate to see this week. Fancy doing that first then maybe a drink after?”
This is a win-win text. If he hates the idea and it’s something you’d love, you know it’s not meant to be. But you still get to invite someone else and go anyway.
If he really wants to see you again he’ll always make a counter offer, so don’t worry about scaring him off with this text. If anything, it’s a great way to test his investment early on and find out if he likes you.
2. Don’t Go On The First Date Before You Know You Have Chemistry
The rise of Tinder and other quick dating apps has made us all the more willing to try out dates with people based only on a photo.
This can leave you stuck wasting time with people whom you wouldn’t usually spare ten minutes with, purely because you didn’t take the time to have a few conversations with them first to find out if you actually have any chemistry.
It’s true, first dates will always have some element of risk to them, but it’s better to at least know if someone shares common interests and traits with you before you spend an evening in their company.
Find out what he’s into. See if you connect about books or movies or sports. In other words, make sure you can see yourself actually having something to talk about, even if it’s just for an hour!
3. One Of My Personal First Date Tips: Keep It Short(ish) On The First Meeting
Make sure you have a date that feels like it can be short and very low-pressure, especially if it’s your first meeting.
First dates that work well can be walking dates, having a quick snack like dessert and coffee, or getting a cocktail somewhere fun before you go off to meet your friends (I give other examples of these in my other post on the essential first date tips for women).
That way, if you’re having fun, you can always carry on the date for as long as you want. If it isn’t your cup of tea, you can still have the evening to yourself and find other plans.
This isn’t so much the lazy woman’s way to date as the ‘busy’ woman’s way to date.
You still want to be having fun, be amazing company, and have fun with the guy, but you can also make it a part of your life that you actually enjoy instead of anxiously dread!
Once you’ve done that, make sure you read up on how to get a guy to want you so that you know precisely how to nail the first date and get him begging you for a second.
8 Replies to “First Date Tips For The Woman Who Hates First Dates”
Excellent post, Matt and it couldn’t have come at a better time for me as I’ve just been trying out Tinder this week. It scares me to death because you get so little information. Your second tip is particularly useful. I might suggest a phone chat before an actual date.
I think a phone call is definitely a good idea for Tinder, but at the very least I would say it’s still ok to connect via messages, but first establish that you actually have some common interests and things you like so that you actually have something to talk about.
Thanks anon! x
I have a first date this week with a guy I could like. I’m notorious for not getting past the first date. Any tips to lock in a second date?
I have a question and I don’t know where to post it. Unfortunately I can’t hear you live, and i heart radio app is not available in the country I’m currently living.
I’ve heard answers to questions like When should the woman start paying? But I’m wondering… What if the guy doesn’t pay anything for me from the beginning? Here guys are kind of cheap, can this be educated/changed? I’m afraid not. It’s not that I can’t pay, I really don’t need a cent from anybody, but it’s such a turn off! And more than that, it makes me think how he would be if he has kids. Will I be arguing about every thing the kids need/want and in the end he’ll know I have the money and I’ll buy it, so he doesn’t have to bother?
Looking forward to see/ hear your opinion.
Have a nice day,
We all know what happens to anyone who had a few drinks too much so don’t do it on the first date. It’s certainly unflattering. I agree that keeping the first date short and sweet is a good way to go. Leaves a lot of things hanging for you and your date. Also, listen to your date and don’t pass on judgments too quickly. Guys don’t like it when you tell them off especially early in the relationship. Kisses!
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