The Future Of Chivalry

Is chivalry dead? It kinda feels that way sometimes – especially for women…

For guys this is an extremely confusing area.

Women over the last few decades have become pretty damn powerful. They’ve made great strides in their careers and are now the primary breadwinner in many households.

This creates a lot of double-standards that men are now trying to figure out.

‘She earns more than me but does that mean I should still pay on a date?’

‘Will giving up my seat be patronising to this woman?’

No matter where you stand on these specific issues…

Women still want men to be men.

And I want to simplify this area today so that we all know how to navigate our way through this maze that is chivalry.

1) Women

Stop complaining about men en masse not being chivalrous.

There are people out there everywhere who have no manners, who are not polite, but the only thing you have to focus on is demanding a certain standard from the men you choose to keep in your life and spend time with.

The fact that he didn’t meet you with that standard doesn’t matter if he’s willing to take it on and adopt it.

Communicate your standards to guys and give him a chance to live up to them.

2) Men

Start acting right. Stop using excuses about society and how we’ve changed.

Be good to women. Stop doing this because you think you ‘should’ and do it because you care.

If you would do it for your mother, do it for every woman (and if you wouldn’t do it for your mother, then you really need to learn!).

Everything we do has to come from a core ‘why’.

–You love women.

Take this on out of respect for ALL women.

3) Dads

Teach your sons to act right. Don’t just tell them to act right around women, show them by the way you treat their mother.

Be a role model for them to live up to.

4) Mums

Show your sons what you expect as a woman as this will colour his experience with everyone he comes into contact with throughout his life.

Don’t roll your eyes and say, “boys will be boys” – that boy is going to be a man some day and the woman in his life is going to pay the price for your shitty standards!

Demand the same level of chivalry you’d expect from any other man in your life.


Send this video on to one person who you know could benefit from it. It could be a guy you know, a member of your family who needs addressing, or a friend you know who is very set in her beliefs on what she expects from a guy.

Question of the day:

What’s the one act of chivalry you would like men to perform more?

169 Responses to The Future Of Chivalry

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  1. Lilly says:

    Matthew – you rock!!! This video was your best yet. If I wouldn’t feel foolish doing so, I would be standing and cheering right now at everything you just said. Thank for setting all of us straight. And hooray to your parents for raising you right!

  2. Trudy says:

    Great vid Matt,

    I don’t think I should be paid less than a man for doing the same work in exchange for being treated with chivalry. It is ridiculous how society and men around the world degrade women. After all women nearly gave our lives to birth human kind and that alone deserves honor and respect.

    Thanks Matt oxoxox

  3. Anthea says:

    Hi Matthew my name is Anthea from Australia

    2years ago I purchased your initial get the guy ebook. Since then I’ve regularly followed your blogs and videos and would probably come to your live event if you had one here

    So the question I’m asking is that I try to follow you advice but have still not found the man for me! What am I doing wrong! the guys I attract seem to be people that either not wanting a relationship or to shy to commit to anything. After a meeting a guy out we went on ten dates and nothing happened yet he initiated each one. Finally I decided to cut him off but he didn’t want to be just friends so I’m not sure what he wanted! I also meet guys that just want things casual. What am I doing wrong! I go to bars with friends but also involved in running groups and other activities so it is not like I’m not putting myself out there!

    all my friends are getting engaged or are in long term relationships so I’m at the point of why can’t that happen to me! What am I doing wrong? Why do I attract non committal people or people who aren’t confident.

    Any thoughts would be appreciated as despite all this I still enjoy your videos :-)

  4. Sarah says:

    I’ve been watching and reading from the early days and this is by far THE BEST VIDEO EVER!!
    It’s so refreshing to see you so passionate about this stuff. You have no idea how many guys need to hear this. That was a ‘get the girl’ post. Love it!
    Keep up the great work!

  5. Keira says:

    Much love to you Matthew ;)

  6. Lana says:

    This is,hands down,your best video yet.Why? It sums it all up pretty nicely…with moms,dads,boys and girls…(and it shows your core values which are awesome)but you forgot to mention dads and how they shape expectations a girl has towards men.I know many girls didn’t have a father figure in their lives,and it is not a must have,but it’s a HUGE help when your dad treats you the way a man should-opening doors,paying for dinners,protecting you etc. and explicitely telling you this is how a man should treat you.Hell,if a men is acting less than I will accept I stand by my point and if he tries to argue with me or convince me otherwise,I just say “This is how my dad taught me a man should act towards me,you have to sort it out with him” :D sneaky,I know but I love it…it’s all daddy’s fault :)))))

  7. Jane Doe says:

    It’s men like you that have keept women and men in the stereotypes they have been fighting so many years to get out of. Chivalry is an old code for knights and it has nothing to do with today. Men want to date women – not small spoiled girls that are used to their fathers calling them princess. Its a real big turn off to meet these kind of girls. Women should stand up and open their own doors. How else are they ever going to get the respect that will give them equal pay and benefits in the work place? You can’t behave like a child and expect to be treated like an adult.

    • Sarah says:

      I think you missed the point. No one thinks a woman can’t open their own door or can’t pay for their own dinner (and if they do, they are idiots), but it’s just being nice and considerate in general. I (a woman) hold open doors for men and women in consideration sometimes, but it’s just a subtle gesture of love when my husband does it for me. It’s like me making sure the coffee is set up for him in the morning, a small act of kindness.

      • Elaine says:

        Exactly! I do open and hold open doors for women and men, old or young… It’s because I’m saying “Yes, I can see you, I respect you, so I won’t bang it right on your face!”… I mean… It’s all about respect… Being nice to others! Yes, our society is different because values are above costumes…!

  8. Cecilie says:

    Wow, halleluja!!!!! Awsome.

  9. Sandra says:

    Love the video. I used to act like I didn’t need the door opened or men to be chivalrous towards me. One time I went out on a date with a guy who once I was in his car… he lectured me on my attitude. He said, “let yourself be loved and be treated like a lady.” I laughed. He said once we get to the restaurant, wait for me to walk around and open the door for you. He said, “would you do that for me?” So I agreed. At first, I felt kinda silly but after a while I began to enjoy this treatment. I felt like a queen. He said, “this is how every woman needs to be treated. Demand it from every man, and most men will live up to the expectations.” He is right.

  10. Sandi says:

    I love this video. You expressed the concept so perfectly! Thank you!

    • Sandi says:

      Also, it gives me some ideas of how to run things in my elementary classroom and how to deal with parent conferences. That “boys will be boys” mantra from parents got old a long time ago, and this helps me figure out how to respond to those moms.

  11. Leslie says:

    Matt this is my question “What about men?” You said that you realized when coaching men that you were coaching the wrong gender or was it that you just wanted to get closer to females? If what you are telling us about men and we are the sex that has to approach the opposite sex, why are you not still coaching men? I surprisingly have shown the opposite sex that I am interested in getting to know them, but they just run off like little cowards and act like nothing has happened. Men need to stand up and at least do a part in the pre relationship stages than just us all the time. Why don’t you coach both genders and give the guys a little more balls?

  12. Lisa S says:

    Bravo, Matt! You are something of a genius! I have been listening to you for several months now and you have conveyed a GREAT DEAL of wisdom to woman AND men. The kind of wisdom that belies someone of your actual age. You truly have a gift for dispenses wisdom to both genders when it comes to the business of relationships.

    I especially enjoyed “You’re Not Shy, You’re Boring”. I can definitely relate as a women who has identified herself as “shy”. It is a GREAT and FRUITLESS copout. Sometimes we all just have to be called out on our excuses…thank you! Keep up the brilliant work!

  13. Gabriela says:

    I just could see blah blah with my best silly smile… I have to say that I love guys who talk in that way…. ;)

    Hahaha honesty is a good video, i love it! And it´s true mums and dads have a big responsibility with us, women and men.

    Thanks Matt! You are the best!

  14. Ada says:

    Hallo Matt, I’m absolutely loving the passion you’re channeling in the last 3 posts – or should I say rants! lol, something’s gotten under your skin, huh?
    I agree, chivalry can be the x-factor that makes a man super attractive beyond the visible, tangible things and the lack thereof, a subliminal signal for a lady to run for the nearest exit!
    I tell my young son to treat the little girls in his play circle with lots of consideration (everyone for that matter) and I get criticised for this but I’ll keep it up. I saw a hilarious sign recently & it’s germane to your comments – paraphrasing… it’s easier to correct a boy than to repair a man!

  15. Kat J. says:

    As a women with very well paying job/position of authority…. it does pose a certain dilemma …what are the expectations with a new man? I think clear communication about your standards – in a nice way -is key…even if it is uncomfortable.
    Also as a single mom with a young son is absolutely agree with your statements abut how mothers should set equally high standards for their children. I recently attended a birthday party with my little guy. It was a fascinating study in human interactions. All boys…most moms too busy socializing to take notice about what their kids were doing…when lunch came most manners were atrocious …and yes they thought it was ‘cute or ‘funny’ or ‘just boys’ behaviour. I don’t think smashing cake in your face is remotely amusing…but what made me proud was my son…who looked bemused at the whole thing…didn’t participate/succumb to peers…and then turned to me quietly and asked what was wrong with the other kids. Hallelujah!

  16. Butthurt Burt says:

    Chivalry? You talking about horsemanship? Knights?

    What a bizarre concept to care about in 2013.

  17. Jaagii says:

    Love this video! A big salute to your PARENTS Matt! Truly!


  18. Christie says:

    AMEN!!!!!!!! I have a 16 Year old son, and I have tried to raise him, as you have said in your video…and all the time people I have never met before will come up to me and tell me what a wonderful and caring young man I have raised. **I raised him with his wife in mind..hehehe

  19. Elle says:

    I love this post.

  20. Theresa says:

    Great post as always Matthew! My ex’s mother messed him up – he’s a “little prince.” Mama’s Boy – no one is ever good enough for her little 49 year-old prince. So, in turn, he hurt me, just as your video post said. Side note – I absolutely love what you posted a few weeks back from your seminar – relationship advice for women and how if a man says “I’m not sure about us.” I will follow that advice from now on! Thanks Matthew!

  21. Jill says:

    I think the key is to respect each other. There are many times I hold the door for a guy I think it goes both ways. For instance when I go out with a guy even if he’s just a friend once I get in the car I lean over and open his door. I believe it’s as simple as treating others the way you want to be treated. Ladies if he doesn’t treat you like a lady get out men if your woman doesn’t appreciate what you do find someone who will. Simple as that:) Oh and don’t be discouraged by the negative experiences. Happy dating ya’ll :)

  22. Rose says:

    Matthew, your mother raised you right! :) If you were my son, I would be so proud of what you just said in this video. Well done!

  23. Carol says:

    Love, love, love you!!!

  24. Jo says:

    I totally agree Matt and I think you’ve summed it up beautifully.

    It drives me mad when women don’t thank men when they do something chivalrous and yet expect them to continue doing chivalrous things. It equally drives me mad when men brush off chivalrous deeds because they think it’s old fashioned or mushy when in fact to not do it is kind of sloppy.

    To me chivalry is SEXY! When a man is chivalrous it shows he’s considerate and thinking of my well-being. It’s such a turn on and makes me feel safe and looked after.

    I agree it’s a society thing and we all have a part to play in this. I ALWAYS acknowledge chivalry from a man by saying thank you and I do my best to communicate to a guy that I really like chivalry and find it sexy (it’s just tricky to do this without sounding like you’re placing demands on him however). But I also love that you’ve raised the notion that parents have a part to play in this too – so right!

    Thanks for the vid. I enjoyed seeing you get all riled up about this actually (and rightfully so too)! Passion is good! :)

  25. Kooky says:

    (CHIVALRY ) wow you really amazed me .thats why i call you HERO.

  26. Rachel says:

    Thank you SO much for posting this video! I couldn’t agree with you more on this subject, especially about moms and dads being the examples and real “heroes” for their kids. And regarding the “tell him opening the car door is important to you” bit…this is so true! A girlfriend of mine told her boyfriend she expected to be treated like a lady in that regard, and he listened! I appreciate listening to your viewpoints, even if I don’t always agree…but you’re charming even then too.

  27. Paula says:

    Thank you for this!! I love this quote you said, “Be better than society.” xoxo

  28. Kathie says:

    Yes indeed… as always right on target and straight “in your face” honest. Always a smile on my face after watching you videos.

  29. Sabrina says:

    O__O …..PLEASE MARRY ME!!!!!

  30. Beverly says:

    Spot on. We need more caring, chivalry and manners in this world. And I have learned to say thank you with a big smile.

  31. Carlota says:


  32. ann says:

    Oh this is good! Bravo, Matt!

  33. Shannon says:

    Every now and then a good rant is simply a necessary part of life. Nicely done, Matthew. I wonder all the time what’s happened to honor & integrity. Some things should be done simply because they’re the honorable thing to do.

    And, on behalf of beleaguered women everywhere, thank you, Matt, for holding the door :)

  34. Michele says:

    I love you Matthew for everything you said to the guys out there in this video !

    Total Class ! We need more guys like you :D


  35. Erin says:

    I have a theory that part of the reason guys hold the door open for girls is so they can check out their @$$ as they go by. If a guy is always in front, when do I get to check out their @$$? ;)

    That said, I do appreciate most traditional forms of chivalry. I think it’s different culture to culture. I’m from a big northern U.S. city and now live in a big southern U.S. city. The southern city is where I first discovered the one about men walking on the car side of the street. “Rules” are different here. (Not to say every guy follows them.)

    I agree with you that gender roles are confusing for everyone right now. Maybe it’s just going to need to become a thing about not labeling people and taking everyone as an individual. Humans like to categorize and there’s almost nothing that is 100% true in every situation/with every person.

  36. Pingback:Song for 28th July 2013 & Other Ramblings | Sequinned Mannequin

  37. Martina says:

    Hey Matthew,
    first of all thank you for this video… it made my day :)
    I know many women complaining about their husbands or ex-husbands, but at the same time they raise their sons in a way that will make them exactly the same as their fathers (who these women don’t want).
    I LOVE MEN BEING CHIVALROUS! I appreciate and enjoy every single act of chivalry. What I would like to see more is more men being men :)
    Take care!

  38. Mona says:

    Wow! Thank you Matt. I wish this message would play on every man’s radio on their way to work in the morning.

    You rock!!!

  39. gruvee says:

    Oh my God this is awesome!! Thank you Matthew!!!

  40. Caroline says:

    Generalizations about how women and men are generally dangerous. Some women like to have a door opened for them, others don’t. And for some others, it depends of the man and the context. My suggestion: a man on a date should ask the woman what she thinks of chivalry if he is not sure of what he should do. Just my two cents.

  41. Tanya says:

    Hi Matt,

    You hit the nail on the head. I think chivalry is a window into how considerate and respectful a guy would be as a boyfriend.

    The only thing I would add to your comments for the guys is: “Don’t be defensive!!! Accept it, apply it, and move on.”

  42. Mari says:

    Matthew, points well made and well taken. As for the “if you would do it for your mum” aspect, one way to simplify it for everyone is basic respect and consideration for all, not one gender of the other. Like you say, many folks are “dicks” these days, and drop a door on someone or blast through without a thank you. Doesn’t matter which gender does it. And it’s smoother — may be easier — for men to look at it that way, rather than psyched out about Because She’s A Woman, Should I or Shouldn’t I? Be kind to everyone. Basic manners.

    What’s happened to men? Many younger men these days are very comfortable with women; a lot were raised by single moms with less rigid traditional gender roles. AND there is an epidemic of ADD and Anxiety Disorder. A lot of men are medicated to deal with their anxiety, which affects blood flow to their muscles and … so do they date and choose being less anxious vs. less able to keep it up? The basic psychology of men-and-women is ramped up in this anxious, hyper, mediated, less face-to-face, overmarketed time we live in.

    Thank you for your insights, energy and all your work. You are the Go To (Get The Guy) Guy.

  43. Lynn says:

    I went out once with a guy who opened the door for himself and then just let it swing back in my face. He didn’t do it maliciously. He was truly clueless that he was being rude.

    I didn’t say anything to him, since I didn’t want to shame or embarrass him on a blind date, but I never went out with him again.

    Ladies, stop rewarding bad behavior. Don’t give rude men second chances with you. Ever.

  44. Lucia says:


    Thank you so very much for your candor and your conviction! I absolutely love it! Lucky and blessed are the women who get to have you in their lives! You are a lovely human being. :)

  45. Michelle says:

    Matt, love when you are this way, you speak from your heart I can tell :)So good stuff you bring up that helps women and men to deal with relationships in life! Thank you for sharing your thoughts here :)It helps me think about what is the right way to do things. X/ Michelle in Finland

  46. Audrey says:

    This is so true. I wish all women would stand up for how they want to be treated. Women need to respect themselves and stop settling for bad behaviors.

  47. Lexi says:

    This had nothing to do with porn, Matthew!

  48. Sarah says:

    Hollaaa brothaa.
    The way you brought up the double standards most females have really blew my mind and illuminated those standards which I myself didn’t know I had until now. I feel like we were made to fit into certain, but flexible role with varying talents and gifts as male and female, and that this feminist movement has grey’d a lot of areas of the male and female roles. Not saying woman should be kicked back to being locked into the archaic individual perceptions (those of the oppressive kind)of the female role, but that we shouldn’t ask and fight for equality and then demand extra privileges and special treatment as well; Wanting the best of both worlds. I like the direct and to-the-point way you speak to your audience. You’ve got a gift Matt and I pray you are able to find the right niche for yourself to use to it’s fullest capacity and that you can seek truth in all you do and are able to find more about yourself in the process of helping others.


  49. Solana says:

    I like that colour on you, and tnx again for all the tips,

    “demanding a certain stadart” i like that!

  50. Iris says:

    Hey Matt,

    I partly agree with you except for the why.
    A true man for me is not a guy who acts chivalry because a woman is precious for him. Chivalry is only a sign of a true man. This behavior comes from a sense of worthiness for himself. It’s a guy who doesn’t make up excuses, who treats people the way he thinks he should be treated himself. He takes responsibility for himself and others isn’t to lazy to help himself and others. For a guy like that chivalry comes naturally. A guy who just acts as a chivalry person can still be a dick! It’s not just about holding a door, it’s about someone who has enough true self esteem that he the space to do something for another person and who isn’t ashamed to do it. This said, woman can be chivalry to, there is no shame in it. Men can appreciate it just as much if I hold a door for them or when I help them out as much as I can lifting something heavy or whatever.

  51. Diane says:

    Amen!!! and thanks!

  52. J says:

    Well one thing’s for sure, your mum raised you right!
    One act of chivalry I would love guys to do is to walk women home at night. Even if inconvenient. After all, we need a bodyguard!

  53. Petra says:

    Hi Matt,

    act of chivalry can bet a pretty simple thing. I’ve been seeing this guy from work, we live in different countries, so we only see each other when travelling to our countries. And I really like that he always asks – Hi darling, have you arrived safe and sound? – It’s a simple SMS, but has a million value for me, means he is taking care ;).

  54. Jenny says:

    Thank you for this, Matt. As usual, well said.

    One thing I always appreciate is when a man allows me to step off an elevator first while he holds his hand in front of the elevator doors to ensure they don’t close on me. It makes me feel protected from one of the very few “dangers” I face during my work day. The lovely men who do this for me always get a warm smile and a thank you – so we both walk away from the exchange feeling a little better about our day. :)

  55. Melanie Harrington says:

    Brilliant video – best one so far! I agree with everything you say Matt! My brother is a gentleman, because that was instilled in him by our mum. I only go out with guys that have manners, and I always say thankyou when someone opens the door for me, male or female – to me that’s just etiquette…

    By the way, have you got a significant other? We need more men in this world like you!

  56. Alexandra says:

    Matt you are brilliant! Why are you so damn intelligent? Thank God you’re sharing all your knowledge with us :) This video in particular has to go viral! Enough said. I’ll be posting and showing it to people EVERYWHERE!!

    Sundays have become my favorite day of the week thanks to your videos. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

    Take care <3

  57. Ruth says:

    Great Post!
    Mothers and Fathers truly are the first relationship our children, or we as children experience….GOOD and BAD!
    Ruth :)

  58. Grace says:

    Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Matt just blew the lid off men behaving badly and women who teach it/tolerate it. AMEN!! How fabulous that someone had the cojones to tell it exactly like it is and how to fix the imbalance. Thank you so much Matt.

  59. Tricia says:

    Thank you, Matthew. Yes, manners *are* sexy.

  60. esther says:

    You’re so right Matt!
    Chivalry is really important and I always pay attention to it.
    It’s about being considerate and polite…
    Men, but women as well, we all have to be better than society!
    Remember our humanity and remember to treat others how you’d like to be treated..
    I’m a woman but first I’m human. I always open a door for someone else (men, women, the elderly, children), I let somebody get off a train or a bus before i get off or I get on, I offer myself to help, I always give my seat to someone who needs it more than I do, I say “thank you” etc that’s how I was raised (thanks to my parents!)..
    and I (maybe naively) expect others to behave the same way I do or at least to be aware of these small but so important attentions and to thank with a smile….
    It’s simply about politeness and respect…I believe it’s up to us to set an example..don’t wait for others to do it first…!
    Ladies we have to help men to give new life to chivalry!

    Esther from Italy

  61. Teresa says:

    That was the honest truth and I thank you for that Matt! That does get me annoyed when I open the door and instead of the guy grabbing the door he just walks through and on top of that he doesn’t even have the curtiousy to say thank you… arrrr that makes me think what would your mom say to you about that?!!!

    And I really got a kick out of you telling the guys your just being a d**k and your not being cool…thank you so much…lol!!!!

  62. Mary Beth says:

    Men should be chivalrous to women because they are eternally in debt to us for carrying and delivering all of the babies in the world including themselves. When men start getting pregnant they can stop opening car doors.

    • Rex says:

      Mary Beth….. What a sad perspective on chivalry, that all men are eternally in your debt because you have a functional uterus. There is a level of kindness to which all people are due, which equates to decency, and an additional level of care by man to a woman for the weaknesses (if there remains any) unique to her gender. This latter consideration is roughly equivalent to the love-based kindness to be afforded to anyone of lesser aptitude, capability, or opportunity – not out of compulsion or debt, but love. In that women have been striving for full equality, and largely achieved this in our culture, the unique considerations which were an embedded part of inter-gender relations through all of history, are now largely anachronistic. With equality comes responsibility. Woman up, and open the door for your man if you get there first. If you can more easily bear a common economic responsibility, do it. As others here have said, do it out of a loving heart, not because you “have to”. The basis of a “man paying” was based on the justifiable assumption he made more money (if the woman made any at all), or the man sought to obligate the woman for his own purposes – not a place for “equals” to go. To be equal, one must take equal initiative. To be equal means one does not presume upon “special” treatment based strictly upon their gender – the very thing women’s rights fought for our culture to end. If equality is not what you want, say so. But, take care you aren’t insisting on keeping your cake, even as you savor eating it.

    • Dorian says:

      Mary,you’re an idiot.

  63. Peg says:

    This video is so wonderful, Matt!! We should post it in the news and this topic should become part of a subject in school.
    I miss those men that act instinctively right a lot.
    And here is another self-studied fact. I think this is quite a European thing. In my job I have to travel much through EU and US and I found that in the US right behavior in regards to chivalry is more common than in many countries in the EU.
    Best example: in the US men make me as a woman always walk into an elevator first. They would look strange at you if you did not do this or if you did hesitate. In most EU countries it is normal if a guy just cuts your way to be the first in the elevator.
    It is always shocking me again when I am back from a trip from the US.
    And we all wonder why we have to chew over topics like respect, insecurity, commitment and stuff like that in relationships if we cannot even behave right with the simple things in life?
    Personal comment: Matt, you are gorgeous. You inspire me. First time I heard from you is just a week ago. Thanks for your mind!!

  64. P.N says:

    Agreed. In southamerica mothers teach kids to dance and be charming before they can even read… that’s something less common in Europa. Matt, you have loads of temperament, your videos are so interesting, but that vein on your neck when you get louder is like hmmmm hahahhahha ( sorry Im too direct, I know ) keep working, we get inspired ;)

  65. Sabina says:

    YES, this is soooo true… But actually I think we women have to have some sort of self awareness as well. Just my example… I was that kind of girl, who opened the door for even men, not only women and elderly people. I was the one always polite and then one day I reached that very day, when a man started to be polite towards me. That WAS a HUGE surprise. And then an other man, and then an other… We ladies have to learn how to say thank you, have to accept if someone was being nice to us and return the favour. On my own example I’ve learned to behave like a woman, and now I see the guys being nice guys around me too. And I agree on the communicating part as well.
    Thank u for this video, Matt, I enjoyed it very much.


  66. Kathleen says:

    Me and my friend Teresa were talking about this very subject on Friday 7/26/2013.
    We both agreed that it would seem rather difficult for men to be chivalrous especially in this day. seeing that yes, we woman do want to be treated equal, but then we want doors opened and meals paid for and other such things. I personally don’t care about all that. shoot I’ll pick up the tab, no big deal there. I’m just looking for someone who is honest, caring and emotionally ready for something beautiful.

  67. Ne says:

    So funny. I am straight too to men :). From my point of view men should act like a man “protective, caring..” not wasting their time to play up to people.

  68. Heather Strang says:


    You ROCKED this video. Telling it like it is – for the guys, the ladies and the parents (thank you SO for that one).

    So grateful you’re in the world telling men and women how it is.


  69. Dyonisia says:

    Matt, I love that fiery passion which cares!
    I love how you speak from the core!
    I couldn’t agree more.


  70. Besi says:

    I may be in the minority but I’m not feeling what you’re saying Matthew and it’s because of your delivery. Calling certain types of people “dicks” and “boring” isn’t going to get them to listen to you even if what you’re saying is true. You’ll simply be preaching to the converted. In my opinion you’ve started sounding angry lately. It may be passion but it’s coming across as anger and it’s turning me off. I’m sorry to say this because I have a lot of respect for you and I like your overall message.

  71. Haley says:

    I used to be that female who thought she did not need chivalry. Now I know better, and have met better men. True story ;) Thanks Matt

  72. Gabrielle Carolina says:

    And that was the moment all women everywhere fell in love with Matthew Hussey.


  73. Natasha says:

    Wow! My son is 14 yrs old and he has lost his old ways he used to be the perfect gentleman, ladies 1st was his regular moto, he would struggle in with all the shopping bags and feel deeply offended when you started to help. He would on occasions bring me breakie in bed or even make my bed. I still get cuddles several times a day, he still blows me kisses & he still says “I love you” frequently however he is my little prince and I do need to man him up a bit, he has an abundance of genuine manners and is extremely polite. I am very proud of my Angel & I how that he will make a Fantastic husband & Father one day :)

  74. Denisse says:

    Damn! That was awesome! I also don’t like that when they say “boys will be boys”. Mothers should teach their sons better not just say that!

  75. Silvana says:

    I love it when a man (not a guy; guy = bloke = dick) doesn’t just go through the motions of behaving like a gentleman, but really IS one!

    I appreciate it so much when a man can open the door for me out of respect for my gender rather than because he thinks I’m a ‘lesser being’ & the difference SHOWS. I can feel it when he’s doing it either out of a sense of duty or because he thinks I/all women are weak etc.

    To me, doing it out of respect shows me that he can see my intelligence & strength & that he values those things about me.

    There might be billions of males on the planet, but I only want one & the one that gets me for good will be the one that gets me on a really deep level in this way. I won’t settle for less now.

  76. Anya says:

    People are so confused about equality. The fact is that men and women are on a par mentally but physically, men are biologically stronger and that’s why chivalry exists – as a symbol of this and making a woman feel safe in his company. Obviously a woman can open a door for herself but if a man does it, it’s symbolic of him taking care of her. And partly it’s just polite to hold a door open for someone, I do it for guys all the time.

  77. Paige says:

    This video made me think about something I have realized lately. More women hold the door than men do. I open the door for people because I enjoy taking the time to be nice. The most grateful people – black men. Society need to have more chivalry towards everyone. It should not be rare nor a chore. It is fun and enjoyable. This standard should not be as rare as it is in today’s society. Thank-you Matt for the wonderful video. Love the passion

  78. Alena says:

    Good Morning Matthew!

    I love the videos where you’re a hard ass! The last three I’ve especially enjoyed immensely. You’re right. We as a society can be rude, uncouth and self absorbed. But each of us individually can change how we treat people. We can teach our sons how to respect women and we can teach our daughters what they should not accept in a relationship. However, there are just as many women who are dicks who treat the men in their lives poorly. We are responsible to teach our children by our actions and role modeling how to respect everyone we come in contact with as well as our standards of treatment. On a personal note, I left an abusive marriage because I didn’t want my son to become that type of man and I didn’t want my daughters ever get into relationships like that either. If we want a world where men and women aren’t all complete douchebags then we need to treat people the way we expect to be treated. It starts with each of us. Thank you for the reminder! Take care!! xo

  79. Noa says:

    I recently met a guy who treated me like a woman, opened the door for me, always let me go first, paid for dinner, gave me his jacket when I was cold, and so on.. I had never met anyone before who treated me like that. He is 12 years older then me and he was surprised to hear he was the first guy to do this. “boys” these days don’t know how to do this anymore..
    I felt weird at first and always wanted to let him go first, or open a door for him because I thought it would be rude to let him do that all the time.
    But then he smiled and told me I had to stop emasculating him :p
    so I let him, and now I respect him even more. he makes me feel like I’m a queen, even tho we are just friends and have no feelings for each other at all. and by letting him do this I make him feel like man :) winwin!

    • Mari says:

      Sounds good, unless it’s controlling. Yes, let him feel like a man and yes, let a man let a woman feel like an adult and an equal, not someone who “has to stop emasculating him” on his terms. How about if we do things for each other that feel natural and not forced? Women are not helpless and weak or treated as property as in past centuries. Was going to say they’re not in historic restrictive costumes that impact their ability to move about, but that’s not true!! HAha.

  80. Eli says:

    Thanks Matthew, this video is just wonderful.
    As a woman, I believe that the most attractive point in a man is acting as Chivalry.

  81. sun says:

    Well stated, Matthew. I especially appreciate the bit about mothers and sons. So many mothers let their sons walk all over them. My boyfriend’s mother is a strong, assertive, successful business woman, but when it comes to her son, she walks on egg shells. His father is very sweet, but more mellow than mom. Their son is incredibly well-mannered, polite, and chivalrous in his everyday habits, but he’s also used to getting his way when it comes to other things. It is a challenge for me, because I’m trying to demand certain standards from someone who was raised more like a prince than a bodyguard :/ What does it take to get a guy like this man up???

  82. Stella says:

    I think you’ve never been so passionate in a video!
    I was laughing when you said “you’re a dick!”

  83. Dana says:

    On point! Well done!

  84. Emaline says:

    This has to be my favorite video of all time!

  85. taunya says:

    Women stop being dicks! Men stop being dicks.!! Hahahah very true and I really liked what u said. Very insightful. Wish we could put that video on public TV so everyone can hear and hopefully learn!!

  86. Lisa says:

    Wow, it’s great and fare comment. Many guys are definitely nice and helpful to me. But why 8 out of 10 guys passing by on the street cough at me – and I thought, why guys hate me at the first glance? Although I dress fine and clean. I always wanted to know.

  87. Wan says:

    Thanks Mr. Hussey for sharing this important points!! i completely resonate with the point about raising the boys. …it applies to girls as well… I am impressed in the best sense of the word!!!

  88. Ana (Mexico) says:

    My Hero!!!!

    Thanks Matt, much love to you.

  89. Nofyah Shem Tov says:

    Interesting article, Matt. Ever since my ex husband started complaining about paying child support, the son in his custody started stealing from me and his siblings who love with me.

  90. Mary says:

    Wow! This is great! And a great reminder for me to be appreciative. I like to think I always say thank you when a guy holds a door open for me, but I’ll be even more aware now to not take it for granted.

  91. Tara says:

    You are brilliant, Matthew. Your woman is a very lucky lady. :) Keep these videos coming, they’re a great help…thank you.

  92. Cynthia says:

    This is exactly the type of video I’ve been waiting for. I always pay attention to how a guy treats his mother and sister, and that’s exactly how he should treat a any woman that comes into his life. Really glad you brought that up! Can’t wait for more videos! :)

  93. s. says:

    I used to date a BIG cavalier. And he was like that because I allowed him to be! For eg. If I said that I was cold, he would ask me do I want his jacket, and I would say – YES! I didn’t say – No, I will be OK, don’t want you to get sick (years ago I was like that, and I didn’t know why there are no any cavaliers, until I understood that is about ME, I must allow them to be that way, and appreciate it, because that’s what they like. They like to feel masculine next to women.)
    So.. To show you that chivalry is not dead, I’ll list few things that he did..

    He always opened the door for me.
    He was always on time.
    One time he saw me from his car, I was walking in the park – he called me to say how good I look.
    When we were on gas station, he would open my passenger door to talk to me, while he was fueling car, so I don’t feel bored.
    He would always paid dinner.
    He always gave me his jacket when I was cold (sometimes I would pretend I was cold, just to get his jacket ;) ).


    Women just need to allow men to be cavaliers and appreciated them when they act like that.

    PS Thanks Matt for everything! I’m following your work for the last 2 years (but I rarely comment, because I don’t think I have something smart to say ;) ), and there’s always something new I learn from you!

  94. Rumors says:

    *Clap, clap, clap*

    Woooooowwwww!I think EXACTLY the same way!

    And, by the way, some people (men or women) demand things from the others and they don´t give what they demand. It´s funny because they criticize the people that are that way or the other and themselves act just like the people they criticize.

    What act of chivalry I would like men to perform more? I don´t know. The simple details are often the greatest of all. Just asking if you are confortable is nice for me. It shows that you care for the other person.

    Oh, and thank you Matthew for helping me improve my English. I didn´t knew the word “chivalry”. It´s a nice one.

  95. Kelley says:

    Matt, this video was great. I always take notice when guys do something little like holding open a door. I appreciate all your advice in these videos and your newsletter… I feel like I’m learning a lot!

  96. HecYES says:

    My sister and I were just talking about this!
    I even wrote a blog about this…

    “no, you’re a dick”…

    I love you Matthew!

    thank you for this…

  97. Tracy says:

    Hey Matthew (: I just finished your book last night. I just wanted to thank you- Your book helped me to get out of my shell a little bit more, to rethink choices that usually would’ve been automatic. I feel so much better about life already- It’s easier to be positive now.
    Thank you for paving the road, for laying down the bricks for me to walk across. You’re awesome. And this video is great. <3

  98. Ledia says:

    You just saved my relationship.

  99. Iman says:

    I really pay attention to whether he let’s me walk in front of him or not, I’m not sure why but there’s nothing worse than a man that seems to be seeding ahead of you when walking. It’s either we walk side by side or I walk first

  100. alexia says:

    Hi Matt,i love this video and honestly for me chivalry is everything and when a man act the opposite it really puts me off and i start to lose interest in him.As i said CHIVELRY is EVERYTHING!Please keep posting videos like these!Thank you for everything you do.

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