We can all learn a thing or two from Gatsby.
If you’ve read the book or seen the film, you know that Gatsby threw crazy, opulent parties where hundreds of people poured through the doors.
Here are some of my big takeaways from the story…
1) Why throw parties
If you’re the person throwing the party, everyone knows you.
The person throwing a party is someone we call a ‘hub’.
You become everyone’s common point of conversation, you’re the favourite topic for people to talk about, and everyone gets to know you better through their discussion.
The great thing about being a ‘connector’ is that by putting people together, people want to reciprocate by helping you out and doing you favours. You become important in that way.
2) An alternative to becoming a ‘hub’
With that said, you don’t have to be the one throwing the party all of the time to develop a network.
What you do need however – if you’re not going to be the hub – is build a good relationship with a hub.
If you know the person throwing the party, you always have a way to go and meet people.
You can then use this person as a gateway to meeting more and more new people.
3) Have an emotional vision for life
One of the things we know about Gatsby is that through all of his achievement, he had an extremely emotional vision of where he was going.
I’m always coaching that if you want to get somewhere, you can’t be driven by logic.
Logic doesn’t last. Logic leads you to running on will-power and will-power never lasts.
You have to run on emotion. You have to find something that drives you on a visceral, gut level.
For Gatsby it was a woman. It was the ideal he had in his head – and of course that become an unhealthy ideal because it became unrealistic – but he had something driving him that was bigger than an amount of money or the size of a house. It was a VISION of his life with somebody.
We all have to find an emotional vision that’s going to drive us through the hard times.
4) Believe you’re destined for greatness
Gatsby believed that he was destined for greatness, even as a boy.
You have to believe on some level that you’re destined for great things. We all have to believe that we’re special in our own way.
–What makes YOU special?
5) Have a plan
Gatsby had a way of constantly improving himself and saw himself as his greatest asset.
(In the book) His dad found a journal with his daily diary.
Schedule Sept 12th 1906
Rise from bed – 6:00 AM
Dumbbell exercise and wall scaling – 6:15 – 6:30 AM
Study electricity etc. – 7:15 – 8:15 AM
Work – 8:30 – 4:30 PM
Basketball and sports – 4:30 – 5:00 PM
Practice elocution, poise and how to obtain it – 5:00 – 6:00 PM
Study needed inventions – 7:00 – 9:00 PM
General Resolves
–No wasting time at Shafters
–No more smoking or chewing
–Bathe every other day
–Read one improving book or magazine a week
–Save ($5.00 – crossed out) $3.00 a week
–Be better to parents
Have things that act as a compass for how you live.
If you’re thinking about this when you wake up, it’s already too late.
This has to done the night before so that when you wake up, you’re straight into action and you know exactly where you want to be.
Now Gatsby had his flaws. But I feel like we can all learn something, even from flawed men.
When we take his best parts and combine them with the learnings we see from a far, that’s when we’ll achieve our own form of greatness.
Question: What did you take away from The Great Gatsby? Let me know in the comments below!
awww you are so cute matt ♥
have read the book on kindle “what men really want” she underlines how important it is to compliment a man: so here you are matt: if i hadn’t done your online programme my love life wouldn’t have been that amazing, like it is now because of you. i even changed myself from a tough girl who can do everything on their own into a feminine girl who need her man to help her and to teach her things from time to time. And all I wanna say is that I know feel more like really being a woman, like the type of woman that I am meant to be, like every woman is meant to be. It feels like I have reached my origin back, although I didn’t know that I lost it! And it feels sooo good!! And thats all because of you. You must be lead by God Matt! You combine truth, honesty, love and kindness in one!! You are amazingly awesome!! I love you ♥
Thank you for everything!! Hope I can meet you live someday!!!
Love from Germany, amelie xx
WOW. Thankyou so so much Amelie. That’s so beautiful for you to take the time to tell me that.
I too hope we can meet in person. Keep up to date with our calendar of events, and find the best one for you. I would love to see you at one of my seminars soon so I can give you a big hug! x
P.S. Here is our live events page: http://www.gettheguy.co.uk/events/
Great advice, Matthew! You certainly make me think.
I’ve always believed the most important thing for anyone to have is confidence in themselves. Everyone has something unique and special about them.
If you don’t believe in yourself, how can you expect someone else to?
Also, don’t let others define you.
Couldn’t agree more Kim
x
Can we get a tour of the rest of your house? lol ^^
haha maybe at some point Christina. It’s very modest, so there isn’t ALOT more for you to see : )
x
I’m new to your blog after your visit to Seattle and I just finished your book. I don’t know how many times I held my head thinking, “Ugg, this man is right! Where have you been most of my life?!” Eager to hear more of your advice.
Haha this was hilarious! But also inspiring (as always!) I’ve been directing all my friends to you Matthew, and have been glued to Ready for Love! You’re awesome :)
Well thankyou for spreading the word Teresa, that’s very kind of you!
x
I am just astounded by your intelligence. These are exactly the takeaways I took from the film/book (although Ill admit I thought you were going to comment on DiCaprio’s good looks and Mulligans sweetness) . Thank you for the clarity and new thoughts on such a masterful piece of work.
So hoping you are coming up to Calgary on a tour soon.
PS Ive watched a couple of your videos now and I love the humour youre leaning towards! I want to shoot your vids for you
Thanks Janna!
As I’m evolving and getting a little older/wiser I’m starting to enjoy playing around with these a little bit. I want people to get to know who I actually am, not some polished version that is reserved for the public eye!
x
We can learn a great deal from our flaws,
our mistakes or failures.
Thanks for being here for us Matt. We do
appreciate you so much. Big hugs!
: ) thank you Sandi,
I appreciate you too x
Are you ever going to come to Chicago? I would be interested to go to one of your live events. Big fan!
I was in Chicago at the start of this month on the GetTheGuy tour!
We don’t have another tour scheduled right now, but I’ll let you know if it happens!
M
And don’t forget the big “don’t” lesson we learn from Gatsby – crazy elaborate schemes to get your ex back are just a recipe for disaster! If a relationship hasn’t worked out, let go and put your attention back on your own life where it belongs rather than obsessing over your ex… (though I felt bad for Gatsby, heaven knows we’ve all been there!)
I think Gatsby’s greatest flaw was his desperation for something that didn’t really existed. He has idealised her and in doing so tried to validate himself with all these external things. I admire his drive, it was just misplaced.
M x
I simply love all of your advice. You are full of wisdom and I love reading about all the women you are helping. You are an incredible man and I pray that God blesses you for all you are doing with your life. I love the way you look at life with a positive outlook. It is inspiring! If you ever make your way to Utah I will be there. I would love to meet you in person. Thank you Matt!
Would love to meet you too Madelaine.
The only remaining live events in the USA this year are listed here: http://www.gettheguy.co.uk/events/
They are my retreat programmes.
I look forward to seeing you at some point! x
We stay ready so we don’t need to get ready -Terry Claybon
Always loved that quote Esther x
Oh, Matthew, you need a Daisy in your life. And preferably one that can see your greatness before you become The Great Hussey… You know, that could really catch on. ; )
We (Americans) read so much British literature in school and at Uni, I was wondering if you Brits dive into American literature during studies, or if reading TGG was a personal choice?
Hey Gabrielle!
In this case it was a personal choice. But we do read some American literature. I remember reading Catch-22 and Of Mice and Men in school. I loved both.
x
Matt,
I love your brand! You are super smart, witty, attractive and well spoken!
I loved your comment about the emotional vision. I’m a very ‘feeling’ emotional person and yet I am a little blocked around my next emotional vision for my next step in my career as well as a man. How can I get an emotional vision for my career and love life?
Thanks!
Hey Amina,
Thankyou!
It starts by thinking about what drives you on a core level. What little things excite you in life (or piss you off – that can be a helpful indicator of your best direction too). Then you can use these as cues about where to go, and where to put your energy.
It’s a big topic. On my 5 day retreat programme we literally spend the entire first day figuring this stuff out by identifying WHO you are at your core, and building out from there. Once you know it it serves you foerver.
Mx
The thing that intrigued me was what did Daisy have that she had 3 men completely drawn to her (her cousin, her husband and her ex)?
Maybe Daisy wasn’t the most gorgeous women in the world, but she had some kind of magnetic thing (call it confidence, call it grace, label it as flirtatiously sultry) that kept these men coming back and wanting to be in her presence.
When Daisy dated Gatsby she couldn’t care less about how much he earned or his social status, Daisy loved him unconditionally. But Gatsby would always feel inferior until he made something of himself, thus he broke her heart and rightly so Daisy moved on. But the past cannot be repeated contrary to what Gatsby said. Daisy was a woman, a mother and although she wanted to dip her feet back into the past for a little while and maybe get back at her cheating husband, Daisy would probably still run back to her husband as Gatsby would always feel inferior somehow.
Going back to what Daisy had that caused all these men to be so enamored by her… Would you fall for a Daisy, Matthew?
I think both Daisy and Gatsby has their flaws. The problem with Gatsby is that he didn’t see Daisy’s flaws. He had made her perfect, and she was far from it.
Daisy isn’t my type personally, but I think what’s attractive about her is her femininity, spontaneous attitude, but her desire to be protected too. She doesn’t come across as having quite enough substance for me however.
Thanks for commenting! x
You are adorable, and the suit looks great Matthew. :)
Thanks Adriana! x
Hahaha the entourage and that dish washing liquid in the kitchen! Cheers :)))
LOL. We didn’t have pro set designers. x
Hi Matthew,
I have always been following you, but never really comment on anything.
This video is the best, and I think I should leave you a comment :)
I love the way that you are not just coaching for love, but you are coaching for life, and how to improve living.
Please keep doing this :)
Cheers,
Jitsupa
Aw, thankyou so much for taking the time to comment Jitsupa. It means a lot that it’s not your natural inclination to do so and you did anyway.
I hope to keep bringing you content that makes you feel this way.
Mx
This was awesome!
Thanks Michelle! x
I loved the info…but what I especially loved was that you color coordinated with your surroundings. From the yellows of the lemons and flowers to the gray house to the white interior! Well done on all accounts :)
haha thanks Val, I can’t take too much credit for that, but it looks great in retrospect. x
Great video. White suit suits you haha :}
If only there were more occasions for a white suit! x
Hey Matt!
Great correlation! It’s amazing to see something with true substance (TGG) that is perfectly timeless.
Are you in sunny LA? I’ve lived in LA my whole life and have gripes about the dating culture here. We are so tethered to our cars, we never experience life outside of it. It’s difficult to meet people here.
Anyway…keep up the inspiring work. :)
Lisa
Hey Lisa,
Yes I’m in LA right now. The car thing is tough, but it makes it that much more important that we get out there to social occasions as often as possible. It makes it harder in that respect than walking cities, but it’s still possible.
x