Women often ask me, “Matt, you give all this great advice for women to be high-value, but how do I tell if HE’S an incredible man worthy of a relationship with ME?”
Ok, I’ll bite.
80% of a happy relationship is choosing the right person in the first place, so this issue couldn’t be more important for women who want to find lasting love.
In this week’s video, I join forces with my brother Stephen Hussey (co-author of Get The Guy) to talk about the 6 SURE SIGNS you’re dating a high value guy, so that you can spot when he’s truly someone worth investing in.
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He knows how to say sorry and admit his faults without getting angry or defensive. He also has the patience to explain his point of view instead of getting angry or upset when the girl asks him something or misunderstands something. He follows his word and tries his best to keep them. If he can’t, then he makes up for it somehow.
Amen Tiffany, I Love It
It’s VERY Important For Guys To Be Able To Have That Level Of Respectable Humility
Thank You For Your Deep And Valuable Thoughts, They’re Reasonably On Point
Great points!
Some of these may seem dated as some younger men may not know these as important traits…
A high value man:
1. has manners — says ‘thank you’, opens doors as someone else mentioned, walks on the curb side when we are walking together down the street
2. cares about what makes me happy and sad; listens when I share (not over-share as Matt has explained)
3. is willing to have difficult conversations; will share of himself without being asked
“Cares About What Makes Me Happy Or Sad”
Amen, That Is So Important
Thank You For Bringing That Up
Yep — agreed. Soooo important. You ladies have thought about so many things that I never had to think about before…that I do tend to notice now, as “things have changed” for me. Thank you all!!
Cares about what mks me happy/sad,willing to hv tough conversations
A high value man to me
Is someone who is thoughtful, who thinks about your needs before his own. Who values being upfront about the big issues and values in life. Someone who can have those tough conversations with you without freaking out or getting distant.
Absolutely Hayley. Being Able To Have Tough Important Conversations Without Freaking Out Or Getting Distant Is Essential, Nothing Is Hotter Than A Guy With Smooth And Courageous Communication Skills.
Great Points, Thanks For Bringing Them Up
Absolutely Hayley. Being Able To Have Tough Important Conversations Without Freaking Out Or Getting Distant Is Essential, Nothing Is Hotter Than A Guy With Smooth And Courageous Communication Skills.
Yes…the tough convos point is a great one!
A few things I’ve liked in a high quality man.
1) he tends to speak positively about other people and doesn’t gossip about them.
2) he can laugh at himself.
3) he takes responsibility rather than placing blame. Especially when talking about past relationships…I listen for how he speaks about his ex and the role he himself played in creating that relationship. If he doesn’t take any responsibility and blames the ex for everything going wrong…that’s an alarm Bell.
4) this is my favourite and so sexy…he has integrity! He is a man of his word. If he says he will do something, he follows through.
Great Points Jag!! Absolutely Integrity Is So Incredibly Sexy, And I Am SOO On The Same Page About Guys Who Know How To Respectfully Praise Vs. Gossip Too. Thank You For Highlighting That, That Is So Important.
And I LOVE What You Said About Taking Responsibility Vs. Placing Blame Too!! That’s Such A Good Point And Can Say A Lot About His Character And Maturity Level, Amen
These are great. I completely agree — hear, hear — thanks!
Spot on!
:)
Agree with all you have said, and would also add… He can read situations and respond accordingly – not just to me, but to the other people around him. To me this is about caring. If a man has enough sense, tact, and ability to look beyond his own self to behave in accordance with the situation is valuable. For example, if he was to walk into a room with my friends, who are sitting and joking, he would participate in a relaxed manner with open friendliness, can afford to be a little cheeky. However if he walks into a work event with me, he knows he’s there to be polite and helpful to me to assist me in my networking aims making his behaviour an extension of my professionalism.
Good one! I have had a guy humiliate me in front of meeting my family for the first time, coming into my work at inappropriate times and also being possessive and childish when meeting my friends for the first time. Ended the relationship for this reason. My guy now knows how to behave and how not to, and makes the effort in every situation. I feel like we are both reading the situation together, and it I feel supported and proud to be out with him. We show each other off and that is so important.
High quality trait; a man that is concerned with your well-being first. Such as,”are you comfortable, did you have enough to eat, what would you prefer to do?
When having a conversation he’s making eye contact and gives his full attention. Not texting or making phone calls.
Integrity. His word means something, and he can be trusted to make difficult choices.
Humility. He’s the opposite of narcissistic, but at the same time confident.
Has boundaries. He doesn’t allow others to abuse his time or his kindness, and he kindly but clearly enforces his boundaries as necessary.
I completely agree, Stef! I would also add a sense of humor is important
I can’t believe Jameson bothered to bleep out the F word but didn’t take the time to bleep out the T word. I mean seriously, which is more offensive?
My definition of a high value man is someone who has never heard of the concept of sparkling vampires.
For you Twihards who are reading this – I am making the assumption that if you are following Matthew Hussey you are intelligent enough to recognize friendly ribbing when you see it. I’m a bit fanatical myself when it comes to certain fandoms, (yes, I realize that comment is redundant). I am definitely living in a glass house. But I’m afraid I can’t help myself. Feel free to lob those rocks right back at me.
I’m going to share this one… probably the most useful video and information so far. Not all of us are desperate to get a guy…. but we’d like a little assistance in making better better choices.
To add to the list, things that I find sexy in a man are Integrity, good humour, and I mean that I find him funny, not a man who tells you that he’s funny, natural charisma, an ability to listen not just hear, kindness to all others, humility and I love a free thinker…. a man who doesn’t believe all that he reads. He questions and comes up with his own ideas about life and everything…..
He has values that he doesn’t betray no matter how difficult it is to stay true to them.
Your brother is trying to steal your limelight! You’re the hot one we want to hear from – he needs to advise from the sidelines! No offence mate but it is just distracting having you there, I want to think about me and my relationship with my guy, and Matt is the one I have learnt to trust over the years I have subscribed. I just switch off when you two are gabbering away together and it’s like too much information. Fair enough if it was a hot woman with Matt, but his soppy brother? Give me a break xx
Has good manners.
This is something easy to spot from the beginning – and if you can’t spot it, run for the hills!
Etiquette is the expression of basic consideration and respect for our fellow human beings as well as ourselves. It can also be an indicator of so many further things, both when followed and when defied. It can show how well integrated one is in society, what one criticizes about it, and how intelligently. Personally, I don’t care much for traditionally chivalrous politeness, since in my experience it translates to expectations of traditional gender roles in other areas, too. So I will be alerted by a man who always insists on paying for dinner or helps me put on my coat. On the other hand, I have found that a prompt “thank you” for a present might not always tell me how grateful a man truly is, but a failure to thank me in a timely manner WILL tell me how much he takes things for granted. Not hedging, not cancelling plans without a really serious reason, being on time, apologizing if he is not… might not always tell me how compelling it truly is for him to see me, but will speak volumes as to how much regard he has for time other than his own, and as to how seriously he takes his own word.
I could go on, but instead I’ll just add: his manners aren’t good if they’re only good towards his woman.
Dating in my 40’s has laid me open to men who are being controlled by ex wives and young children – both are a huge turn off.
I think a man who is not afraid of introspection and communication is very sexy as well as making him a high value man. Respect and trust are important too, because in the process of all this great introspection and communication, if I share something particulary sensitive about myself with my man, I do not want it to be brought up in an argument and used as a weapon against me! Additionally if he can also laugh at himself and not feel threatened when he makes mistakes, that’s great too!
The list goes on and on!
He doesnt have to broadcast his assets brag about his achievements constantly
Naomi
Nomieemac@gmail.com
One that can also receive criticism or when you tell him something you don’t like or upsets you without getting all defensive.
So someone who’s confident enough to really listen to his partner, and then discuss it in an emotionally mature and open way.
And must add that the last one from Matthew is REALLY REALLY good and important; knowing that a guy won’t threaten the relationship whenever something doesn’t suit him. Been there (narcissistic ex) and it sux!! Undermines self-confidence like you wouldn’t believe, so big thumbs up for mentioning that one!
He leads with a kind & generous spirit in his interactions with others and his outlook on life
He has a productive, not destructive, conflict-management style
This is uber-sexy: he loves himself enough to practice self-care, in whatever forms make sense for his life, in order to continually improve (or at least not jeopardize) his physical, emotional and psychological health.
He has dreams, goals and plans for himself, and is courageous enough to take steps toward making those things happen.
Well said!
:)
Hi, Matthew, how are you? I would like to say that I like a man who can tell me the truth about his feelings, when he’s upset, scared, happy, just honest with his true self. I need to see him that way.
A high value man for me, stands out when he makes time to be with you, regardless of your schedules your a priority. Think this through… If any man today was told that some lady owes her billions of money, he wouldn’t stop at anything before getting that money. To me ones a man sees your worth, he will beat traffic, go through walls, meet your parents if he has to, just to be with you.
PS:I picked money because that’s I think among the most valuable assets we can all relate to.