The Secret to Being Strong When You’re Feeling Weak

In this week’s episode of LOVELife, I discuss an important life lesson from the book “The Catcher in the Rye” along with a secret to coaching that can change the way you deal with life’s difficult moments.

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

47 Responses to The Secret to Being Strong When You’re Feeling Weak

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  1. Emily says:

    If I had known this was about a novel, I would’ve made a bee-line for it! I LOVE the idea of this being a regular thing, book club, lit lessons, whatever you want to call it. But it doesn’t look like you’ve labelled this as such in any way, and if there are others like it they aren’t visible.

    I’ve only been following for a few weeks and just see whatever comes up in the Related Posts suggestions and popups, or the youtube queue. This blog seems to have one monolithic category: “blog.” Is there a reason you don’t have tags or topics? I bet you’d get more intentional traffic to interest areas if people had more to go on than the titles.

  2. Eva Koudela says:

    Hi Matthew,

    I have recently become aware of your stuff, and have been watching your videos over the last 5 or 6 hours. lol.

    One question keeps coming to my mind is: how can you bee so wise at such a young age?

    Thank you for putting all this out there. Your videos are beautiful, touching and very helpful. And just the fact that you are the way you are gives me hope that it may be possble to find someone worthy.

    Lots of Love

  3. Lisa G says:

    THANK YOU for this!! I’ve been feeling weak after a relationship ended recently. I was not discouraged or cynical, but I was ready to give up having to “shop around” again. I just didn’t have the energy to try and meet new people and be pleasant while I did, especially being over 50. It felt like a lie to wear a smile when my heart was so raw and sore.

    Looking for someone who needs me is EXACTLY the remedy I need!! I’m embarrassed it didn’t occur to me on my own, but that’s how blue I was.

    Thank you thank you thank you. <3

    I can't wait for more Literary Life Lessons!

  4. Sarah says:

    I seriously almost cried watching this. Thank you so much for your inspiration, it meant a lot to me to see you talk so passionately about this. I really needed that message and I’m sure many others did as well. thank you so so much, and please do continue these ‘Life Lessons through Literature’ or whatever it is you called it, they would be very inspirational to many many people. Again thank you.

  5. Mona says:

    Hello Matthew, this is a great,inspiring video. You should send this message every year. So many people are depressed for whatever reason may plague them. Maybe you can save someones life if you do this as a seasonal television commercial.

  6. liz quirk says:

    Thank you. I have had a very difficult year. Lost job on January 3rd, broke up with fiance due to his infidelity on 08/03, was diagnosed with breast cancer on 08/28 and underwent a bi-lateral mastectomy on 09/24. Your video reached me today. Thank you.

    • Darla says:


      My heart hurts for you. Hugs Thank you for sharing about your year here on the blog. My prayers to you for healing. Have healing and hope- Merry Christmas dear strong women!

  7. Michelle says:

    Hi Matt, I am feeling soooooooooooo low, my beautiful daughter at 15 died, which was 3 years ago, her Birthday is coming up on the 11th, a son got lost into bad habbits and I am finalysing a divorce because he was a narcissist and very violent all of this 24 of november. I am burntout! Your video is giving me a boost of hope! I am doing exactly what you say in helping others that need me! but at the same time I am in need of sooo much love!

    Thanks handsome Young man!
    Continue talking,I sort of need it!

    A very loving person, mom and woman = Michelle Côté x

  8. Theresa says:

    I really like listening to this episode of your blog about life lessons. It’s very enlightening when you said that when you’re feeling weak, you should find someone who you could serve. Bottom line, we’re here to serve each other. More power to you, Matt for bringing out the best in humanity.

  9. tigress866 says:

    Perfect timing. Awesome. Simply… thank you <3

  10. Susana says:


    I just want to thank you, your words were a great tool for me today and from now on.

    All the best,

  11. Alexia says:

    Hi Matt i love reading books that teach a lesson or give inspiration to people and i hope you constantly come up with some content like this!Thanks.

  12. Inas says:

    I just Love your analysis of Human psychology, emotions and needs!
    Every time I listen to you, am convinced!
    You’re really clever!

  13. Tricia says:

    Bloody Good!!!!! Touching. “Life Lessons from Literature”.

  14. Sky says:

    This was really moving for me. I was really down a few times and seriously didn’t care if I lived or died. It was only the thought of caring for my pets that kept me going. Without me they would be in a shelter or worse. They think I’m great and give me the unconditional love that has eluded me. I had friends and family who love me very much but you are right that it was the really being needed that won the day.
    Like many others finding you and Steven has been a really big part of pulling me out of a dark hole. I love your life coaching pieces Adele as the love coaching, a great compliment to each other.

  15. Ilona says:

    Hi Matt,

    You’re mostly right… As always) You’ve brought up literature in your videos, WOW!) My big interest and my field of studies) Looking forward to seeing which books, the greatest source of life lessons, I should still read) . Actually, that’s why some books are written) And not only for art. Lol


  16. Caroline says:

    Hi Matthew,
    I liked this topic quite a bit and I never really thought of how needing to stay strong for others can make you strong. I saw a TED talk about animals with emotional disorders which demonstrated your concept. The man (in the story) was a war veteran with a real fear of heights. He got an emotional support dog to help him with his fears. The dog developed a worse fear of heights than the owner, which caused him to need to be strong for his dog. I am currently in a high stress situation at work. I think I will see if I can give your suggestion a go (as you would say). I love your funny and informative talks, thanks!

  17. Bea says:

    I loved this as i think it can be applied to many areas of life. More like this would be appreciated.

  18. Erica says:

    Thank you Matt. Your basically reminding us to connect with something bigger than ourselves, humanity. It’s so easy for us to be trapped in our own self bubble during times of hurt, weakness, etc. thanks for bringing me up for a moment of air!

  19. Gemma says:

    Dear Matt,

    I’ve been following you since the beginning of the year and I think you are wonderful, you have helped me in so many ways, and perhaps one day I will email you and tell you in more detail how! :)

    I write for a magazine and I recently wrote about how literature can teach us how to live . I particularly love short stories and I think they provide the most intimate snap shot of people’s lives. If you have a chance to read my article, you will see the lessons I’ve learnt from literature.

    Best wishes and many thanks,


  20. Sarah says:

    Beautiful. Thank you.

  21. jen says:

    Yes Matt I agree. I go through periods where I feel pretty low or weak and being around those that need me or don’t judge me always helps even if I don’t tell them I’m suffering. Great topic and something I wish the media discussed more often

  22. Isabelle says:

    I lived it, so I believe it ! I did have to be strong for people around me who did not have the strength to be strong anymore. Self value raised out of this experience. Thanks matt

  23. Allie says:

    Matthew, that was lovely. Also one of my favorite books. I’m reading your book now and finding it especially helpful; not only to meet a guy but also to meet new friends. You’re amazing.

  24. Joan says:

    What a great way of looking at it.
    A very different perspective.
    Love it.

  25. Alia Renee says:

    Matt, this was beautiful!! A very meaningful message for everyone, because no one can be strong all the time, forever. For those of us without children, and without a spouse it’s easier to convince yourself you’re not needed here, or loved enough to stay, but it is very often a lie we tell ourselves to make that feeling of running away more ok. But just like Holden finally deciding to stay because of his love for his sister, there truly are others out there for all of to stay for. I recently went through some very challenging and painful health issues which had me feeling very angry and sort of life isn’t fair and why me, but I found refuge and relief from my own horrible situation through being there for other sufferers of my illness and discovered that by standing up for their mistreatment helped me stand up for my own. So I can testify to this lesson truly working!! I love that you worked literature into your lesson and would love to see more of it. Brilliantly done!

  26. Faith says:

    Matt, this was SO needed!! Very timely. Can’t begin to express the positive repercussions this will have on my life.

  27. Mary says:

    One of the best videos yet. I appreciate this not only for it’s timeliness for myself, but for how fundamental it is for becoming just a good human being.

  28. Upasana says:

    Best one..i loved the new style…keep rocking matt!

  29. Veronica H. says:

    I agree with this one every level. I’m currently studying medicine. Even if Im exhausted I still try to give me time back by volunteering at a student run clinic for the underserved. It could be dermatology night, neuro night, gynecology night, or internal medicine. I have the normal stresses of about time, keeping my standards hard to learn all this information and retain it. But when you walk into that clinic, it’s real and you are dealing with a person with REAL problems.

    These moments give you true meaning of Gratitude.

    Thank you for what you do!

    kiss kiss

  30. Lydell Cortez says:

    This segment made me want to read “Catcher” again. It also made me think of how my sons saved me from wallowing when I was at my lowest. I had to pull myself together and take care of them. I am truly fortunate to have them in my life. Thank you for this.

  31. Isabel says:

    Yes, I like this life lessons from literature theme

  32. elle says:

    This is an awesome message and so true. Thanks matt. I really look forward to more ‘life lessons from literature. How about a “view from a bridge”?

  33. elle says:

    Matt, I have a dilemma. I have just recently moved to a new city and have been looking for somewhere to live. I found an amazing 2 bedroom flat. The only problem is, the guy living in this flat is amazing too. We met for drinks and a chat about the flat and really connected. We were out for like 2 hours he wanted to buy dinner but I insisted that I get home as I had early work commitments. He walked me to my station and when we parted, he hugged me and snuck a cheeky kiss on the cheek in. He’s really keen to have me as his house mate as he feels we get on well and wants me to join his weekly mixed touch rugby team. He is so handsome and I agree, we do get on well. I’m just not sure what to do because to live with him would be intense, it may not work out because I fancy him and if he is not interested, just flirtatious it will make life hard…. help xx

    • Vavavoom says:

      Hey… I know you’re not asking for my advice, but I have to say that while reading your post I expected you to continue reading that you were uncomfortable with the idea of a romantically interested roommate-situation, but that’s clearly not the case.

      I just wanted to say that Him sneaking in a kiss on the cheek is definately a sign that he’s interested in you. It seemed to me you were unsure if he was… i’d definately say he is.

      It’s probably a bad idea to have an affair with a roommate in a new city… but interested he is! That’s my opinion at least… I’m curious to see what others are saying.

      Maybe ask him out for a date, if it gets serious you can always move in as a couple… having seperate rooms give you more space and independence… great should you break up… but I personally would be hesitant about moving in as roommates with a flirt who I wanted to date.

  34. Holly says:

    Matt – I nominate you to do the ice bucket challenge!!

  35. Rose M says:

    What happens when you are tired of always being the strong one when live seems to constantly throw you curve balls?

  36. Saida says:

    I really love this Clip…Thank you soo much!
    Great advices

  37. Maria Larsson says:

    Wow..this really got me thinking..been through some hard times..and now i think i know what to do with it..helping others is def the way to go..and to get through and be whole again..i think..thank you!

  38. Kathryn says:

    You put it so well. I was not weak or depressed but when my son was born into intensive care, I went to visit him at four in the morning, looked at him fighting for life and just knew I had to fight for him, to be strong for him. I have been ever since and although my marriage disintegrated, in many ways he couldn’t cope, and although my son will not lead a long life I feel so strong and have so much to live for. I have never wished for a different life or feel he is a burden. He is bright and loves living life to the full so I fill his life to be as interesting and rewarding as I can. To the point where I now feel so strong I can extend that help or charity beyond my family and begin to have influence for good in a wider sphere.

    • Kathryn says:

      Enough about me. I was just trying to say how moving it is when you talk like that. It reminds us how valuable your advice is and that for all your success and living in a glitzy environment you still emotionally connect with your followers ( for want of a better word). I remember my reply to a blog piece you did a while back when you sat in the garden with a beautiful lady, who had experienced a terrible tragedy in her life, and I was full of trepidation whilst on the surface remaining to everyone’s amazement cheery and full of optimism. What’s on the outside is now congruent with what’s on the inside and that is in part down to you. Thank you.
      I hope I’ve conveyed my message clearly, I don’t want it to read like I’m a strange, unbalanced stalker type and I’m sure you don’t need my validation but I just wanted to extend my gratitude and wish you more deserved success in the future.

  39. Thirza says:

    Thanks so much matthew for posting this amazing inspiring video when i needed it. :D

    First i wanna say i been there in such situation my parents are gonna to divorce and i’m really strulling at the moment. It’s so hard to be postive to be honest.
    But i working now by the mcdonald’s and i have found my distaction when i’m working but when i’m home my thoughts are going everywhere affcourse i have to move with my mom and my sisters. And we are saerching for a renthouse at the moment it is really diffucult to keep it out that long with my mom and dad together luckly they are not gonna to split up with fighting. But my father is getting angry so much faster than before.
    And altough i have some moments that i wanna give up.
    but my person is life to be strong for is my grandma she means alott to me. and im so luckly the she is still here. and the other persons are my sister and my mother who’s is gonna trough also alott at this moment.

    and recently i have met a nice guy at work and were always talking trough messasges.
    haha yesterday i ask him : I give you a challenge now to say something postive about me. and he said back that he was too tired to think because he has sit 8 hours in the train. Than i said i could be something small. And than he said : Your a sweet postive little girl. ?
    What does that mean i guy languge? Please Help me matthew.

    I also think your video was really aspiring for people that going through a hard time as well it really helped me alott. Your a really inspiring person as well.
    I’m really glad that you are having your own radio as well.

    I hope your having a nice day.

    Lovely greetz From Thirza from the Netherlands :)

  40. zahra says:

    hey Matthew that was really touching and true, everyone feels weak at a certain point, I have a question do you think that if a girl who has a strong personality does it mean she is smart? or its not related? Thank you btw all your videos are very helpful <3 tc

  41. Beatriz says:

    Excellent video Matt! I like that you are giving us variety and using literature as a vehicle is great. I myself can assure that your advice works, because it has happened to me in the past. Helping others makes you step out of your “grief bubble” quite fast. Now, though this may be very helpful in life, I think it could be dangerous in love relationships. I personally think your best love relationships came when you are feeling your best. Some people find the “victims waiting to be rescued” very attractive, yet once you have been “rescued” a different story emerges.

  42. Deb b says:

    M: I’m in between patients having lunch and just listened to you talk. This did hit home. The need to focus outside of ourselves when we’re down is difficult but not insurmountable. I’ve come out of a painful breakup and thought I could never feel joy again… Bunk on that! Every day I work with people to help them remain independent. I’ll say this with a good heart. My patient take care of me. They don’t know it but every time I work with someone I come away with a little more joy back in my life. Thanks for reminding me! Well time to go get some more joy! deb

  43. Elizabeth Taylor says:

    I love your commentary on Catcher in the Rye. It’s one of my all time favorite books. I think what you drew from the underlying theme was incredibly sensitive and insightful. Thank you for your blog. It’s become one of my favorite “Goddess Time” (when I beef up my mind, body, spirit) rituals!

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