Many of the women who read this blog are single, but I always like to address those who aren’t as well!
Last week I opened the floor to a lucky reader who was able to ask me any question she liked. Congratulations Lisa! You asked how to keep things in a relationship fun and fresh from the first date all the way through. This is a great topic and one that I know so many women have questions about!
My thoughts…
Many people say that if a relationship is right, it should be easy. Though it’s true that if your relationship is too much work it probably isn’t right, it doesn’t mean that a good relationship won’t require effort.
The sad truth is that most people bring their best selves on day one to the stranger, and a much lazier more negative version on day 365 with the person they love.
I often say that attraction is about keeping people off balance; the problem is that when people get into a relationship, they get too stable. On one hand, it is great when you find that person you can build routine with, be comfortable and share your life with. The danger arises when routine overshadows the intensity of the emotions and experiences you have with that person.
Here are 3 ways to make sure routine doesn’t drown your passion!
1) Just because you’ve started Dating doesn’t mean you stop going on Dates!
Never. Stop. Dating.
Though having a comfort-zone and co-existing with your partner is great, you need to keep things fun and interesting. A date doesn’t mean you have to go out and get dolled up every single time; it can be something as simple as changing or creating an atmosphere. If your typical date night is to stay in, order pizza and watch a movie, switch the pizza out for his favorite homemade dish and light some candles rather than using the table lamp. This changes it up just enough to create a special moment out of a typically ordinary one.
2) Special occasions deserve special experiences…
When it comes to birthdays and holidays, many people struggle with what to get their man. You don’t need to break the bank; you just need to invest yourself.
One of the greatest gifts, as well as the most memorable, is the gift of time. The best gift and date ideas take advantage of this. Make a mini day-trip to a place that neither of you have been before, or go learn something new together. Not only will you have spent quality time with your mate, you’ll also have just created a new point of connection and conversation!
3) Make a mental note of things he likes…
Take note of the little things he mentions that he likes, wants to do or turn him on, and build a well that you can draw from.
You don’t have to wait for a special occasion to take charge and book the tickets to see Iron Man 3, simply because you know he wants to see it! Also don’t forget to remind him of ways he can make you happy. No guy will be angry with you for giving him a roadmap!
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Question of the day: What can you do to keep a guy in your life ‘off balance’?
Let me know in the comments below!
To learn more about surprise, creating a spark that lasts, and how to make attraction GROW, check out my online programme The Man Myth. In it you will learn the A–Z of what men think, how to generate unstoppable attraction, and how to win him to your way of thinking. Check it out here.
Hello Matthew
Excellent advice as usual, I just adore you <3
So to keep him off balance I would try simple tricks like
1) Sweet text messages with genuine compliments and affirmations that he can reread anytime, things that blow his mind when he least expects it like 'I feel safe when I'm with you' 'Thank you for being such and such' 'Have you been working out?'
2) then there is the easiest most enjoyable way "eye contact and smiles", when I catch him looking at me my eyes automatically shy away, I lower my gaze and smile, then I look back and part my lips as if I was going to say something, audibly inhale while keeping eye contact for like 5 seconds then I bite my lower lip and watch him mind jolting for a few seconds then I audibly exhale and stare at my feet and smile! He is speechless almost every time or he forgets what he was saying and becomes noticeably nervous as he clears his throat.
3) I make him feel like man and admire his manliness by simply asking him to help me with some heavy lifting or jar opening, and then I admire his physical strength, asking him for directions so instead he offers to take me there personally and I drop an 'Oh I don't know what I would have done without you' he will be smiling for days, I tell him about the uncomfortable touches of the dentist and the anonymous guy who keeps calling or texting me and he will offer to 'take care of it'
4) I show up unexpectedly at his office on his birthday with a present or a cake and spend a couple of hours celebrating with him even if it meant being late for my office that day, it would mean the world to him.
5) Openly expressing how great he makes me feel on my status at a social network where everyone can see it, an instant ego boost. Or exchange smiles with him noticable in the presence of his guy friends which makes him look good and feel good about himself as he shows off the attention he gets.
6) Cheering for his favorite football team, watching the game when he can’t because he’s working or such and keeping him updated on the score through text before he gets to hear it somewhere or go online and check for himself, I would even tell him about the offside, comment about the injuries and missed chances and I must admit to cheating on this one, I sometimes get a guy friend opinion on the game and represent it as mine to show him how interested I am in the sport, while I was as interested in it as a straight guy is interested in nail polish art lol it looks pretty on the girl’s fingers, he might notice it while holding her hand or if she mentions it in conversation or keeps playing with her hair to show it off but he wouldn't really care to know how it’s done and the point of it besides it looking nice and reflecting how feminine she is for getting her nails done. So I have taken an interest in his sport as I realized how important it is to him and we get to celebrate together when we ‘the team’ wins and I comfort him when we don’t.
Oh my god I just finished an article I believe lol that's my writing exercise for today..
Take care Matthew C=
Being in a relationship is such an amazing feeling in it self . You feel like that you got everything . I am also in a love relationship from 3 years and so happy . At any special day exchanging gift is such good thing that make your bonding strong . Last valentine day he gifted me a silver heart pendant . I love it so much . I think you also have to try