Why don’t you have a man yet?!
Oh…you’re still single? But why?
Uh-oh. Better find a relationship while you still have time!
Any of these sound familiar? If you’re single, I’m sure they will.
Whether it’s in Hollywood romcoms, glossy magazines, or even just your mother’s nagging, there seems to be a constant assumption in the world that being single is the WORST THING EVER.
Maybe you even secretly feel this way yourself.
But you shouldn’t. Being single is totally underrated. In fact, it can be so much fun that you wonder why anyone would ever want a relationship to begin with. In this week’s blog video, I’m joined by a very special guest, my friend Lewis Howes, former pro-athlete and host of the School of Greatness podcast.
I’ve followed Lewis’s work for a while now, and I’m thrilled he agreed to come and share his top 5 reasons why being single can be the opportunity of a lifetime, and why you should savour every second of being free and unattached while you can. It’s a really fun and insightful video, with some genius practical tips for making your life extraordinary so that you can truly appreciate yourself and have a world that bring you happiness and fulfillment.
As you know, I don’t have guests in my video blogs very often, so you can trust me when I say that Lewis provides incredible value.
Click Here to Purchase Lewis’ Book, The School of Greatness
87 Replies to “5 Reasons To Love Being Single (With Special Guest Lewis Howes!)”
Thank you! I was waiting for video about happy single people for very long time:)
1. Badass. Great info. Useful and thoughtful yet provoking….
2..proviking cause the Bromance is palpable….
3… I can’t stop looking at your big muscles. The ones your biceps are near and tjose back kinda shoulder muscle area. Wow.
4….I’m trying REALLY hard to focus on content but I keep looking at your shirt and then both your shorts. And then i saw his shoe or slipper…and then im thinking “pull it together pay attention” but then Ithink afterwards “but who wears this…where do they wear this…what time of day do they wear this..are their legs hairy? I’m not so sure I really care for Matthews shirt now cause does it really go with shorts..what shoes does he wear with this? Did they plan shorts with lumberjack? Why can’t I stop judging their clothes. I think Matthew looks really fit and likes to say “I love that” but naybe that shirt isn’t right for his biceps…why am I judging when I’m eating cinnamon rolks and my pants don’t fit….
5…..Well I’m at home enjoying a movie after my son’s foitball game and dinner date with him… Thinking I nailed your vid…..Ohhhh shit I am only 11:00 minutes into it and I am here commenting and I still have six minutes left (happily) but I had topuke my thoughts or I wouldn’t absorb the last of it…..and I’ll be back.
Tasha your Idaho potatoe
Ok, I just read what I posted…ummm….spelling on speed swype text is not a talent I have…..be generous with your spelling imagination whilst reading my first post…yeah….just sayin.
I’ve been single/divorced for over 3 years now, after spending the past 20 years in a relationship (basically my entire adult life). I’m finally at a point(or so I thought) where I’m ready to find a guy, settle down and live happily ever after. However, after watching some of Matthew’s recent videos, there are a few things I feel I need to do BEFOREHAND. In particular, after this interview with Lewis, I realize I need to conquer a MAJOR fear of mine, which is going out alone. I’ve always felt people would view me as pathetic, when it’s quite the contrary. Obviously it depends on WHERE you go. I’m not going to be the chic hanging at the local sports bar every fri night alone. I actually admire the boldness&contentment of those who can go to dinner or a movie alone. I am going to take the advice offered &date myself atleast once every 2 weeks. And already planned to become more of a morning person, since I too am totally over the “2am people suck” moments in life. Thank you for sharing!
Don’t compare yourself or your self worth to other people that are in a relationship.
I’m single and a loner. I still go out all the time and do everything alone. I like it, at least at casual places. I have my internet to work on so I don’t need someone in front of me to talk to. The only thing I don’t like about it is how often it has felt like staff and servers treat you almost second class when you dine alone and don’t have another party you’re with. Mostly at more regular server based places. They treat you like you’re weird for being alone. I don’t even feel alone actually when I have friends around the world texting me non stop. Long conversations with my business partner on the other side of the world and sharing photos with people of where I’m at and things I’m doing etc.
One of the greatest things about being single and in the remote work lifestyle I have is that I can travel alone and move around to different countries spontaneously whenever I feel like it. On the downside it has kept me single cause since I’m living in countries I’m not a permanent resident in and only have travel visa’s for then there’s no point developing any romantic relationships with guys in them. And since I’m not settled and would be leaving then guys have no reason to want a relationship with me. I’m not dating material so I don’t even bother dating. Though living this way is something I know I won’t be able to do once I’m settled and in a committed relationship. Not to say that won’t have it’s own benefits that would be worth the sacrifices, though I’m enjoying my freedom of movement and traveling while I still can! I’m also able to privately work on improving myself before I have to expose parts of myself more when dating. Keep my body covered in flattering clothes until I’m super happy with all areas of my body that I’m not completely happy with yet, improve my income and business and my skills etc. Work on becoming more attractive and powerful.
I’m a bit of a perfectionist and have high standards for how I want to be that takes time sweat and money to build and improve etc. I don’t want to share myself until I’m happy with myself measuring up to my own standards and vision of who I want to become. So even though I crave romance sometimes and get lonely I would rather wait. And it really annoys me when friends tell me to simply meet guys and go out with them now. They don’t understand that I’m not happy not being my best self first.
I really like the point you gentlemen made about doing the things you love and feeling great. I’m single at the moment, and I have dated so I know I’m attractive enough now to be with a guy. I’m just trying to focus on being happy with my life, and not ‘searching’ for a guy to fill the whole of being single and lonely. Also the morning person point was a great one, it’s hard to get out of bed, but you do feel happier when seeing other people about I find you have more options too particularly in local parks and cafes
Love the conversation. Going to buy the book. Thank you!
Matt, you’re so right about being a morning person! I used to get so depressed getting a night bus home, alone, full of drunk people 10 years younger than me. The next day I’d see texts to friends complaining and trying to get them to sympathise. Then I focused more on what makes me happy like swimming, cooking, going out for breakfast and getting up to do all this and I felt better.
One extra tip I think helps is to prioritise people a and activities that matter and make you happy. I had to exercise will power to stop saying yes to all kinds of people and activities because I was wasting money and time, not gaining what I wanted or finding myself bored with a ‘friend’s’ company.
I now am in a relationship and remember to do all the things I love doing, taking him along sometimes, or not. He’s wonderful and I never thought a relationship could be THIS good. It’s all thanks to your advice. Thank you so much, Matt. Truly, you’ve changed my life.
If you know what your future looks like. your present can produce it. I’m just trying to figure out what that looks like.
Thank you so much gentlemen! What a wonderful way to start the day with two incredible men. I would love to see that happen more often, Matt.
I have been planning on getting Lewis’ book, which I have heard about on some other blogs. Thanks for the additional incentive.
One of the recent things I have been doing as a single woman falls into the take care of your health category. I’ve been following a whole foods, plant-based diet and learning as much as I can about nutrition in general. It’s been a tremendous revelation in terms of vision which has led to some additional political and environmental interests.
Thanks again to you both. I am looking forward to following your future projects.
Loved the blog post and have pre-ordered Lewis’ book for my Kindle :) #1 Thing I enjoy about being single is my quiet time, where no one has a demand on me or my time. I work in a job that is male dominant, and I spend a lot of my time keeping the peace between them, calming down a frustrated coworker, listening politely to their workout recap they feel obliged to give, or pretending the fart joke is funny the 100th time that week. I think men are brilliant and their intensity charming, but at times I need peace and quiet.Lol ..So today, I woke up, went for a run, checked my email, watched this wonderful blog, ordered Lewis’ book, and have the rest of my day for me, which is 1 completely wonderful thing to enjoy about being single. <3 Torri
You guys made my day! Absolutely love this one, perhaps my favorite. I am the author of the upcoming book’Princess Mamma’ for big and small girls who want to live happy ever after. I got a lot from this video that connects with my mission for mothers that want to live their best life. There is something so powerful about men who declare that it is important to love yourself. Plus you are both very handsome and funny. I will be checking out the book asap. Great job Matthew and Lewis :-) Big love from Holland, Maame
Thank you for this spot on video guys, as I just felt a bit frustrated and lonely this morning after two evenings this weekend spent on parties and not meeting anyone significant. As I’m writing a book next to a full time job time is very precious.
Number 1 best thing of being single for me is to be able to explore freely who I am, what makes me feel alive and what I want to bring to this world without a need to adjust myself with taking another person and fit it into this picture.
(something on the lines of what you had with having a clear vision, sorry to not be more original :)
‘Get really good at something’ – I decided to become a great salsa dancer and have been dancing about 3 years now. I absolutely love it and have to say men react to my passion the same way as women react to their men’d sport fanatism. It’s hard to find women with true passions nowadays.
My biggest challenge is ‘Take risks to tell people they are sexy’- this I want to do and truly think would change my lovelife. Perhaps I should say this to some men at salsa LOL
My best one embrace the freedom of choice while single. I was in a 20 year relationship. At first is felt weird being alone. I quickly realized that I should enjoy getting to do what I want anytime not knowing how long I may be single. From getting to choose a movie, restaurant, travel destination, tv program, or any activity, I do things now that may not be able to do later in a relationship. You often do have to make certain compromises as a couple to allow the other person to enjoy activities they like. Although it is a compromise, it also allows you to discover new things.
My best one embrace the freedom of choice while single. I was in a 20 year relationship. At first it felt weird being alone. I quickly realized that I should enjoy getting to do what I want anytime not knowing how long I may be single. From getting to choose a movie, restaurant, travel destination, tv program, or any activity, I do things now that may not be able to do later in a relationship. You often do have to make certain compromises as a couple to allow the other person to enjoy activities they like. Although it is a compromise, it also allows you to discover new things.
I love his poster, but honestly we should all just be grateful to be breathing. I could write a much larger poster for all the other things I’m grateful for. I especially do it when I sit down to eat. I look around and I’m grateful to have warmth, shelter, lovely, food, my health and I consciously give thanks in my mind.
I can see we have this dichotomy in life of being single or being in a relationship. But in many times and relationships we have to be ‘single’. The other person is working away, or long hours, or completely focused on their own project and we have to be able to completely focus on ours, or to have one. A life which is completely absorbing, which takes in our original dream and vision. The other person in the relationship needs to respect and be interested in this, if only from a distance. It is much easier when you are single to persue this singular vision or be spontaneous and all the things you discussed. But actually if you do what is the cultural norm of being in a relationship all the excitement, passion, things you want to do that inspire you from the gut, from deep within your physche, your makeup, will be sucked out. When we are with someone we care what they think, we automatically think there’s no connection and bond if we don’t want to be doing the same stuff or living the same way all of the time. Of course we need to be complimentary or it’s just not going to work. But we really need to hang on to our individual dreams, passions and things we do, people we see.
The definitions of being single or paired up are completely cultural and have nothing to do with love. I need to see the recent film The Lobster as the narrative is about these very things!
Thank you to Lewis, what a lovely man. x
I always find this sort of advice flummoxing. Like, what the hell kind of relationships are other people having that they don’t have time to do whatever they want to do?
I know I’m not like other people, and I’ve only had two long term relationships in my life, but, seriously, wtf. In both my relationships, I spent my time the way I wanted to. If anything, I wanted him to go out with his friends more. I’m a true introvert. Other people are utterly exhausting. Go out. Leave me alone. I’ll thank you for it.
What is it other people want in a relationship? I’m honestly struggling to understand. Here’s what I want from the man in my life: 1) he wants to be with me, 2) he has integrity, 3) I’m attracted to him physically, 4) he’s not clingy or looking to me for excessive validation, and 5) he takes care of himself and the people he cares about. He doesn’t need to spend every waking moment with me.
I’m already very good at the things I care about. Hopefully, I’ll discover other things that I want to be good at. If I do, I’ll take the time to become good at them — whether I’m in a relationship or not. I already know and like myself. I’m an only child who was raised by a divorced, single mother. I’ve spent almost my entire life alone. I don’t want a relationship because I don’t know how to be alone or don’t know who I am.
I’ve been single for over five years. I’ve been celibate for almost three years. It’s not especially enjoyable. I miss being touched by someone who cares about me and wants me. I’m a woman. I need to be touched on a regular basis to be happy, like actual physical contact from a man who cares about me. I don’t get any validation from having sex. I have sex because I like it, not to feel better about myself. And sex alone isn’t enough to satisfy the actual physical craving to be held and kissed and treated with tenderness.
I miss feeling like someone has my back. I need to feel safe and protected. I don’t want it. I need it. I don’t want a bunch of random people in my life sucking all the energy out of me. I just need one or two friends and the man that I love, who loves and protects me back.
I’ve never not let a crush know that I’m crushing on him. It’s never made a single bit of difference. I have literally never had a guy like me back when I’ve let him know how I feel. My experience is if a guy wants you, he’ll let you know. You won’t have to guess. Also, I’ve never had “the talk” with a guy. I didn’t even know that was a thing until I started reading relationship advice when my last boyfriend and I broke up. I still don’t understand what the point of “the talk” is. If he wants to be with you, he will. If he doesn’t, why try to talk him into it?
I’m going to be honest. This video completely depressed me. I know that statistically people want to be with people who are like them. I don’t. That’s boring. Also, I’ve never met anyone else like me. And that’s the rub. I’m really, really starting to believe that I’m just too different from everyone else to ever find a man I truly want to be with who also wants to be with me. If he’s looking for someone like himself, I’m not the right girl. The only person I’m like is me. And, I prefer it that way.
Thanks for the video, loved the lists! I’m currently single (or on sabbatical as I tell friends), and the best thing I’ve done is to just enjoy being alone with myself. On a good day, I’m cooking and listening to music, which usually leads to me dancing and singing in the kitchen, and I feel fantastic. It allows me to get out of my head and to just breathe and be.
My next challenge is to make time to read more. I didn’t realize how much I missed reading before bed when I was in a relationship. I’ve found that even though I’m not now, I fill that time with other things, and I need to reconnect with taking the time to wind down with a book.
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