Why don’t you have a man yet?!
Oh…you’re still single? But why?
Uh-oh. Better find a relationship while you still have time!
Any of these sound familiar? If you’re single, I’m sure they will.
Whether it’s in Hollywood romcoms, glossy magazines, or even just your mother’s nagging, there seems to be a constant assumption in the world that being single is the WORST THING EVER.
Maybe you even secretly feel this way yourself.
But you shouldn’t. Being single is totally underrated. In fact, it can be so much fun that you wonder why anyone would ever want a relationship to begin with. In this week’s blog video, I’m joined by a very special guest, my friend Lewis Howes, former pro-athlete and host of the School of Greatness podcast.
I’ve followed Lewis’s work for a while now, and I’m thrilled he agreed to come and share his top 5 reasons why being single can be the opportunity of a lifetime, and why you should savour every second of being free and unattached while you can. It’s a really fun and insightful video, with some genius practical tips for making your life extraordinary so that you can truly appreciate yourself and have a world that bring you happiness and fulfillment.
As you know, I don’t have guests in my video blogs very often, so you can trust me when I say that Lewis provides incredible value.
Click Here to Purchase Lewis’ Book, The School of Greatness
Great video guys! Any thoughts on best morning places to meet guys?! I rarely see the 24-30 crowd up early and would love to meet someone who enjoys morning too!
On another note I’ve have taken to dating myself for the past 4 years. In that time I’ve developed a lot of passions including music and been able to be more spontaneous and really get to know myself which in turn helps me to know what I’ll expect from my future partner. You’re right never easy to start, sometimes a little akward but dating yourself can be some of the most important dates you’ll ever go on!
Thank you both for such a fabulous video blog! The tips you shared really resonated and they are fantastic, practical tips. I do a few of them myself, such as purposely doing activities alone so I will meet new people, and taking myself out on dates. The first time I took myself out to dinner was when I was travelling solo in Brugges, Belgium. It was a little awkward but I love and need my me-time now! Thank you guys and you’re both really attractive for so many reasons. I enjoyed listening to both your American and British accents on the blog ;)
This was such a great video! Thank you Matthew and Lewis! It’s so difficult NOT to focus on the lack of something (ie. a relationship) when you’re single, rather than putting all your energy on the positive aspects (e.g. such as the inspiring top reasons both of you listed). Being constantly asked by family, friends and sometimes even strangers doesn’t help when they make “singledom” feel abnormal.
As much as I would love being in a relationship right now, I know that if I were in one, I probably wouldn’t get the opportunity to do all the fun things that make me happy and fill up my leisure time now.
One thing that I do right now that makes being single more enjoyable is making my own rules (dare I say, being selfish). Often when people are in relationships they spend most of the time thinking about the impact their choices are going to make on their partner and what their partner will think. Too often someone else’s needs are being put before our own (I’m guilty of this), and we often lose ourselves in the process.
That’s why it’s important to put YOURSELF first and learn to be selfish when you’re single. Make up the rules as you go along by spending the time, money and resources on things that make you happy (without waiting for the approval of someone else), while you have the space and time to do just that.
The one thing that I do as a single person is focus on nourishing my mind body and soul and celebrate who I am
You can do those dorky/quirky things that bring you so much joy, that you might feel inhibited to do if you were trying to impress someone… Example: How much I’m into old movies and sitcoms… I could literally watch them every night before I go to bed, and not get bored … I can even do dorky things like take a spontaneous road trip to Jamestown, NY to go to the I Love Lucy Museum, and explore her hometown by myself… Those little things give me such a giddy little thrill, especially when I can do then alone
I always try to make at least one new friend when I go out. A day just feels more successful when you’ve made a new contact. I feel like it’s important not to hang out with the same people all the time.
The tip that I try to abide by is to not take the negative comments too seriously. I think it’s really easy to hear the “why is she still single” comment and start buying into the idea that there must be something wrong with me. Dare I say our society doesn’t actively reward those of us who are not willing to settle. But I think ultimately the way to keep your focus and not let the comments get to you is by realizing that we all want different things. Some people want security and some might value passion. Not settling to me means I’m holding out for someone extraordinary and its ok if the outside world doesn’t immediately understand that :)
I like the comment about going on a date with myself because I just took myself to a dinner and a movie this passed Friday (saw the Martin and highly recommend it). The next thing I am learning is how to vacation by myself. I have planned my first trip to Belize for 9 days (very excited!!). The other thing I am learning to do is nail down my routine of keeping my home and such clean. I never know if I will have a date and want to wear my favorite shirt, but it is in the laundry. I do my cleaning during my early morning rituals like watching Matt’s video.
Thanks for the great video as always Matt! With love.
Oh Matthew! Always such timely advice. Thank you. Ok, so one thing that I love doing for myself when I’m single is dressing up and looking my best just for me whether I’m going to go run errands or hang out with friends. A lot of times, we only go all out on how we present ourselves if we’ve got a date or we’re going out for a special occasion with our significant other. However, I’ve realized that when you put the time and effort to look your best whether or not you’re in a relationship, it makes you feel good. Look good, feel good. It’s saying to yourself, I’m worth it to look my best even if it’s just for me, or rather especially because it’s just for me because I love myself :)
I loved this video! Could it get any better than two gorgeous men talking at length with sensitivity and emotional maturity? Is it real?
This is a very interesting topic. I think we can sum-up the whole list with just two words (self improvement). It’s understood that we should constantly improve ourselves in all aspects, whether we’re single or not, but being single gives us the time and clearer vision of who we really are individually.
Thank you Matt for this good video and thank you to your guest. I can’t wait to see you again on Periscope.. yeah, I follow you!haha
I knew it ! I saw Lewis howes on tv news channel talk about his book and that instant thought of Mathew hussey, as I felt Matt is very passionate about his work and his skills at understanding human dynamics that they have a lot to share and talk about. lol and behold I see them together interviewing each other :)
The two of you should get together more often!! I’ve been looking forward to Lewis’ book for a couple of months now.
I like Lewis’ idea about going to dinner or a movie by yourself. You can still try to briefly converse with the people around you while you enjoy your own company. I also like Matt’s point about trying to be more of a morning person because the people and activities are more wholesome earlier in the day. It’s never fun to start talking to a guy at a club and 60 seconds in you realize he’s too drunk to carry on a conversation.
A few weeks ago I started taking boxing lessons (love the boxing metaphors I’m finding in some of the Impact modules, by the way)to improve my upper body strength.
I’ve also started bouldering (similar to rock climbing)and I am now working up the courage to go to an improv class later this week (to learn to be more spontaneous and less afraid in front of audiences).
If everyone finds just two or three new things to try and sticks with them, we’ll all gain more confidence, meet new people, and have more things to talk about. Good luck to everyone who tries something new this week. :)
The point of all of this for me is that if I get used to doing a lot of activities now as a single person, then it will be so much easier to keep going and budget time for these types of things once I’m in a relationship.
Great interview and lovely to see you focusing on the positive of being single and living in the moment. What’s the one great thing about being single?….understanding that it is a choice. To like and value yourself more that you choose to stay single or be single rather than in a relationship that you know is wrong. So it a nutshell…being single is courageous.
This was such a good video Matthew! For the longest time I have just rejected being single and wondered why I was so unhappy instead of just embracing the moment and doing eveything that I want with my life. I can honestly say that I found this video refreshing and informative. What I think Im going to apply to my life, is taking myself out on dates more. I think that Ive been miserable because I havent learned how to enjoy my own company, thinking that being with someone somehow validated me and I believed that people judged me because I was out alone. Thank you Matthew for the reminder of how important it is to love and do well for yourself first.
Great ideas you guys! So many insights. I like to wake up super early and do a quiet yoga routine in the dark. Love it. But one thing that I make a point of doing to make myself feel special is to cook as energetically and creatively as I did when married. It’s too easy to let that slip but it is enjoyable and gives me confidence.
I love this list! Of all areas of my life, my love life or lack there of, has caused me the greatest worry, sadness, aggravation..etc. I plan on keeping this list with me at all times to look at and to remember that I am prize or the author of my life and not to ever make a man my focus. Possibly, my love life hasn’t been the best, because the men I was interested in or men who were interested in me could tell that I was focusing more on them than myself! I know that I need to change. This list is a great list to have a fulfilling life in general! Thank you both for the reminder!
I would duty date if I am single.
Great video! I soo appreciate Conscious Men that take the time to consider & study themselves, as well as relationships. Nobody’s perfect, and the better we get @ living a full life, the better we can be @ offering someone else a great life! Thanks for the reminder guys- you rock:)
The thing I do is to get in my car on a weekend either by myself or with one wing man and pick a direction- North , South, East or West and head there. I don’t always plan where, I just go. I have had the best adventures and met the most wonderful people by being spontaneous! I ofen go out alone so I am not restricted by anyone’s preconceived ideas as to what the day should be. I have no expectations, so the day is not pressured to fulfill any requirement but by the end of it, I am pleasantly surprised