That’s right, occasionally I get asked by women, “My friend won’t let me meet her guy. What’s going on?” Granted this is one of the questions that I get asked less frequently, yet it’s still not all too uncommon.
However women are usually so willing to let their friends and family meet their boyfriends; often almost seeming as if the only reason they’re with their guy is to brag about him to their friends, so when I first heard this question I was rather taken back.
From one of my more recent articles about “players” you will have learned that when a guy is reluctant to let a woman into his life, it is often a sign that he is planning on getting in and getting out as quickly as humanly possible – and so should be avoided.
However we never really come to this same conclusion when it’s a girl who is reluctant to let any of her friends meet a guy – and you’d be right in thinking so, especially when he’s a boyfriend as it’s likely to be for completely different reason altogether.
In reality this circumstance might seem really rather odd for a lot of women, and can often cause some unnecessary stress and friction between two friends. Women are typically so against ‘settling’ that any guy that they choose to be with is usually of the highest of caliber’s… So why is she keeping him under wraps?
There is one question that we need to ask ourselves in order to dig a little deeper and gain a better perspective of the situation…
In what way has she acted differently with her previous boyfriends?
There are a number of different paths in which you could potentially answer this question, and different women reading this will have sparked different sudden realizations.
“It’s all because of me!?”
For some women, it’s suddenly dawned on them as they realize that at last years Christmas party, after one too many glasses of punch, they ended up spilling all of their friends childhood horror-stories to their then-boyfriend.
If you are in this predicament where you can accept that the way you behaved around a previous boyfriend was unacceptable, and you know you won’t make the same mistake again, really dramatize what you did with a previous boyfriend and sincerely apologize for doing so. Assure your friend that you’ve matured as a person and that it will never happen again, and that you’d love to meet her newest catch.
“She’s never really had another boyfriend”
Other women reading this may have otherwise dismissively answered the question in their heads before really contemplating it. If she’s never really had a real relationship before, she is likely to avoid anything that could cause the slightest turbulence until the relationship is on more solid ground (and unfortunately introducing friends can be perceived as quite turbulent)
In this case, just be patient and once they’ve built a more solid bond, and your friend is more confident in herself, then you will be allowed to meet him.
“She does this with every guy she meets!”
If she’s behaved in exactly the same way with all of her previous boyfriends then you might just have to accept that she likes to keep her relationships a secret. Unless she’s allowing other people to meet him besides yourself, you know it’s nothing personal, and so nothing to really get frustrated about.
If you’re still insistent on meeting the mystery man, it’s unlikely that you’ll ever get to do so by sheer force. Instead be really relaxed about the whole thing, and if you have a boyfriend yourself, make sure she is getting plenty of contact with him, and soon she will feel obliged to reciprocate.
So there you go, if you’ve been asking yourself “Why won’t she let me meet her guy!?” hopefully now you’ve got an answer. Myself and the whole team always really appreciate your comments and feedback, so if you’ve ever had a friend who has been reluctant to let you meet her man, let us know about it.
2 Replies to “My Friend Won’t Let Me Meet Her Guy”
I have a question could one of the reasons be beacuse the friend thinks you might steal her boyfriend? Although I have never done this in the past, my best friend never wants me to meet her guy or even the guy she likes. One day, jokingly she said that was why. Could this really be true?
Hay well I am not a dating expert however I can relate to this. My best friend and me both had a thing for the same guy but she asked him first (she is a lot more outgoing then I am) but he said no to her and told her that he only sees her as a friend… skip forward a couple months and she still likes him but I have gone head over heels for the guy which has really put a strain on my friends relationship because she thinks I only like him because she did (which is NOT true) and that I’m only trying to take him away from her (which in NOT) which turns me into the boyish friend steeling b**ch. me and my guy where friends way before my (girlfriend) Meg even knew about my guy and when our relationship started moving forward from friendship to a little bit more (though I still don’t even know what we are considered which brings me to this site I want him to finally say what we are and commit) my friend Meg got jealous and its really hurt me. I know I must have hurt her too but I feel like this will make her feel that she can’t bring her boyfriends to meet me (even though I have my guy) out of fear that I will try to steal him even though it never happened in the first place but boyfriends can put a strain on friendships so my answer is that yes if your friend is insecure or feels like you have that kind of history it is possible
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