It really hurts me to say this, because I know that there are so many wonderful men in the world. But there’s one type of guy that is so common – so toxic and frustrating – that just about every woman has had to deal with at least once in her life: the “MPI” Guy.
There’s about a 99% chance you already know an “MPI” Guy.
See if you recognize him in this video…
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well they always say to tell a story to make your point. thanks, i get it now.
This was incredibly funny Loool
I have this question, how does the mpi guy reacts or feels when you move on and stop having feelings for him? His ego gets hurt or he doesn’t give a shit coz he have so many more options?
Have been trying to get rid a MPI for over a year now they’re just too good.
I appreciate the work you’ve put into your legs Matthew
Wow! I can DEFINITELY relate to this. Have always had many ‘MPI’s around me. Been cutting them off the last couple of years…. they still try to creep back into my life :P
Is it best to not respond when mpi guy rolls around, or call him out on his shenanigans?
Hi there, re the toxic guy, I agree with you completely. But only after 6 months of potential that neatly hooked my heart did I receive the confirmation I needed of his minimal intentions.
Here is the problem. My heart has been engaged — a rare occurrence — so it no longer responds to rational thought. I understand what’s going on and I know my worth. I want to heal from this painful experience and let go. I would LOVE to meet a man who is worthy of my care and attention. However, my personal experience is clear that I can’t change how I feel about someone through my intellect alone. This is not an intellectual exercise! My heart engaged is far, far more powerful than my mind, I’ve concluded (with shock, and deep apprehension).
So here is the second problem. I know from past experience that the only way I let go of people I care about is by severing them from my life. I can’t permit myself to see them for at least two to three years, sometimes longer. The trouble in this situation is this man is fully in my world. I can’t cut him off because then I’d have to give up, for example, my dance lessons, my social life … which I refuse to do. I have attempted to minimize contact as much as reasonably possible, but I still see him far too often for my liking.
If I could easily find new friends, a new social calendar, a new passion, new dance school, I probably would. But it took a long time, energy, and frankly dumb luck to create the new life I have over the past two years, which is very much centered around dance. Moreover, as I’m struggling with some things in my life, I presently rely quite heavily on these activities and social connections to inject joy and hope into my experiences so that, in time, I can overcome my current struggles — including this crappy situation with the guy.
So, what I’m trying to figure out is how do I learn to let go of a man who I can’t actually stop seeing? *I need you to trust that I’m doing my best to avoid him, but that it’s not possible to eliminate relatively frequent contact. This is the new situation that I have no experience in overcoming, and could really use help with — keeping in mind that my powerful emotional response to him swats away logic and reason like fruit flies. When I see him, it keeps the deluded part of my mind/heart alive that there is a WE, that there is something there to hang onto. It takes little effort on his part to wrap me up for another week. I spend that week fighting myself, fighting the delusion, and trying to ride out the waves of loss, pain, anger, hurt that get churned up again. But it’s a cycle, a trap, because once I see him again it seems to start all over.
I also fully expect that at any time he will show up with a woman on his arm, and despite all the work I’m doing to intellectually let go, I feel entirely vulnerable to the immense heart pain that will cause me. I don’t want more pain, or more reason to be stuck in the past.
I’m 42. Time is even more precious at my age, and as things appear to be going, I’m tied up with this fool and don’t see an end to it anytime soon. It’s now been seven months and counting!
My other limitations are time. I support myself, no other source, and work is precarious. When I get a contract, I generally have to take it. I work 10hour days and often get less than 4 hours of sleep. Sometimes I have to work Saturdays as well. I push myself to go to dance class right after work, or attend dance events/see friends on weekends. They are core parts of my life in part because they help keep my life balanced (positivity, emotional/physical stimulation,etc). I couldn’t maintain emotional health if my life was solely about work. I’m on online dating sites but it’s been quiet there lately. I scan for interesting meetups online and occasionally something comes up, but not often enough. I’ve also noted that nothing I’ve encounterd so far comes close to offering the enormous emotional/physical/intellectual/social stimulation and dimensions that my dance life offers. I would love to meet new men who would match me well, and truly believe I would make the right man a great partner.
But at the moment, I need to develop new skills to emotionally let go of a MPI man who I won’t be able to eliminate visual contact, and some interaction, with for the foreseeable future. Any suggestions would be deeply appreciated.
Hi, I was in same situation as you once, reiki healing helped me a lot, maybe it can help you too.
I still have MPI guy on my Facebook, but instead of the heart racing for him like it used to, I just feel his toxic energy instead, which makes me ill.
So funny!
That was well worth watching. I have known many people like this, not just men. Where’re my scissors? A good reminder to cut out toxic people.
I don’t ever get this guy. I always get the needy ones or the ones who want to psychoanalyze me and point out my flaws. Good thing I’ve been reading, watching and listening to you for a couple of years. I don’t waste my time anymore.
Oh my gosh, this video is totally hilarious!
I think men who have this type of behaviour tend to be insecure too.
LOL!! OMG-so true! You nailed it…is that because of practice?
Having read this I thought it was extremely enlightening.
I appreciate you spending some time and energy to put this information together.
I once again find myself personally spending a lot of time both
reading and posting comments. But so what, it was still worthwhile!
Hahaha your bare legs! Greatness!
Seriously, the drunk guy- gag- there are not many things less attractive. I have zero problem telling those guys “buh-bye”.
I watch this video purely for its high entertainment value. Lol. Nicely done sir.
OMG – That is hilarious. I love how he gives tickets to everyone he sees. So lame. Ditch this guy now! Hahaha, Mat you are so adorable and funny. Thanks for making my afternoon. :-)
Hillarious!! so true, indeed!
how do you cut him out when he is your childs father
I met this guy on tinder when we met my idea was to satisfy a need. However, during our date, my plans changed. We slept together, and we spent the next three weeks spending as much possible time together, he introduced me to his family and closest friends. He lives in a different part of the state. After he returned home, I traveled 864 miles to visit him, and we continued to have a fantastic week. I returned home, and we told each other how much we missed each other from the start. However, I put myself out there and explained what I wanted and that I was willing to make our situation work. He never answered that text and a week later replied with “Hey what’s up?” as a girl that was really into him. We picked up where we left off. Now, I think he might be an MPI guy, and I am not the kind of girl that wants to waste her time. However, a part of me wants him to commit, as I feel like I not only found a guy that could be a partner but someone that I can enjoy the beauty of silence with. Any advice be appreciated?
Last year i met this awesome guy. He’s younger to me by 6 years. But he was / is so charming and had all the qualities that i wanted in a man. But after some months, his behaviour was cold / hot as per his convenience. I don’t know, he wants to meet and message when he wants to. Sometimes he won’t meet or even message for 3 weeks. And then he expects me to be good and a booty call. I guess he may have a girlfriend or he loves someone else.
I’ve confessed my love to him but he didn’t say anything. I rarely like a man and this time I’ve fallen in a ditch. I know he doesn’t like me but i still can’t get over him i love him so much. Please advise.