One Quick Tip That Will Save All Your Relationships

In this week’s video, I’ve got a quick life tip for you that may seem small but it actually has the power to save your career, your friendships and all your relationships…

Together, we’re going to fix this bad habit that you and I both do every day. Try it out, and then shoot me an email and let me know how it works out for you. (You’ll see why this is an ironic request when you watch the video…)

47 Responses to One Quick Tip That Will Save All Your Relationships

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  1. Lisa Williams says:

    Great advice Mathew, I think that we have all been guilty of this at one time or another. Procrastination or even sometimes overthinking things can also be part of the problem. I’ve recently have been trying very hard to be more present for the people and events that are important in my life. And responding with a simple “Hello or thinking about you” is often enough! Warm regards,


  2. Deb says:

    Great message! The same can be said about text messages. Sometimes when people don’t respond back to my texts on a timely manner, I assume they don’t care or are just ignoring me. In reality, they were just busy and really intended to reply when they had time. Thanks Matthew for all your advice and words of wisdom.


  3. Sandra says:

    Hahaha… Thats’s me, too! :)
    I’ve decided to change this!

    Greetings from Germany.


  4. Laurie says:

    Matt, thank you so much for this tip, for being honest about why you procrastinate on some emails, and the thought you put into making this video for us! I do the same thing, in fact I just took a month to get back to a family friend who had sent me a long personal email. It weighed on me every day, but I wasn’t in a great place emotionally when I got it, was overwhelmed by it and didn’t feel able to give a proper response at the time, was working a ton and feeling scattered and kept forgetting, then went away for a week without email, blah blah blah, and felt I had to explain all this when I did finally respond…all as you described. Anyway, I am going to try your tip and hopefully I and the friends awaiting my response will feel better. Love your videos and always sage advice!

  5. Minerva says:

    Yes please can you help me i really wanted to pay for HOW TO GET YOUR EX BACK. But Matt i don’t have PayPal account or any credit cards Please help! can i send tru Western union like that? Please i am waiting for your reply. Thanks in advance! Hope my request will granted.

  6. Dawn says:

    Hi Matt, so true, I do this too & as of today will amend my ways.
    Thanks for all your blogs, tips & videos, they’re great. Keep them coming xx Dawn

  7. Helen says:

    Thanks Matt! Such good advice! I do the exact same thing, glad to know others go through the same thing. : )

  8. Carrie mcdonagh says:

    Hey Matthew ; you little hottie
    Just wanted to grab a minute while I’m in the moment and thank you , for the tip as I have a group on Facebook with to many members to respond to .
    Feel awful as I do at times forget to respond until I see a name keep cropping up . My banks to your yet AGAIN spot on advice .
    You’ve made my life And time a whole lot easier ,and not to mention less guilty at that.
    Keep on doing what you do And don’t ever stop being you
    Best wishes
    Carrie x

  9. Rowena List says:

    As a time management strategist I totally agree. I say “batch” your emails and respond. Batching allows you to see what is important and urgent to you. Key word here is YOU. Managing an inbox takes time,skill and know how. Don’t let it control you. You get to control it.

  10. Angela says:

    Ok, so it’s been over 24 hours since I first saw this blog and sent Matthew an e-mail and guess what….I didn’t get a reply !!! Normally I would be a bit pissed about that.

    However, I forgive because Matthew is a star anyway, I love his work, his style of coaching and how he encourages me to do positive things with my life.

    I could send a million messages with no response and I would still follow him because the advice he gives is priceless, much more valuable than a reply to an e-mail.

    Angela x

  11. W.C. Caldwell says:

    Thank-you for discussing, and touching base on elements associated with Communication Apprehension, Uncertainty Reduction, and Uncertainty Management. Thanks for placing the theoretical into a context more applied and tangible.


  12. Fayleen says:

    I just wanted to say, keep doing what your doing. I think your blogs are brilliant. And for the record, this is the first time ever I have taken the time to give feedback, as my time is sparse. As an evolved woman in my 40’s, now divorced, I find your insights very helpful. If you ever come to speak in Boston, I would attend.
    So Thanks Matthew.

  13. Dianne says:

    Thanks, Matthew… it is so hard nowadays with the flood of emails people get. But Yes, I would agree that it is better to send a quick, short reply than waiting for so long after the fact. I am looking forward to learning more from you and hopefully meeting you in Dallas this weekend at your live event! :)

  14. Cathy says:

    Yes, that’s me! I will definitely try this out.

  15. Helena Frias says:

    Wow, Matthew! You describe my situation exactly at work! Thank you for showing me I’m not alone! :)
    I’ve processing that on my mind for some time now but it is always good to hear from someone on the outside!
    Big kisses!

  16. kaci rizk says:

    Matthew that’s really great it just changed my mind set to things. I wanna ask a question please help me. I am 17 and there’s this guy and tried using “the Franklin effect” on him. I think it worked though I know that your programs aren’t for women or girls my age. And after I don’t know how to follow up on that move. That because I don’t want to come on to strong to scare him off and I don’t want to not follow up on it because he’s this great guy he’s smart, funny, and knows what he wants in life. And sometimes I feel like I can’t compare to him,but I know I can because I don’t see many 17 year old girls writing there first book which if I actually get it published, I make sure to send you a copy. Your tips have already helped a lot of times but in his case I wanna actually give this a chance. And I can’t do that if I move too fast with him. Don’t get the wrong idea am a virgin and I want to keep it that way till am married. He very smart and observant and I just want some help on how to talk to him but no throw to much at him. Can you please help me ? -Kaci

  17. Saima says:

    OMG that sounds like me all the time!!!!!! And I’m breaking this habit right this minute! It’s 3:16 in the morning and I’ve just viewed Your video so I’m replying asap!!!!! breaking the procrastination routine right now!!! Thanks for expressing this verbally. Love Saima

  18. Dee says:

    I agree a short response is better than no response.

  19. Faizah says:

    This is actually very important point. I used to feel upset when someone I care about doesn’t reply to my emails quickly. But not anymore. It’s better to give people the benefit of the doubt :)

    Thank you Matt. I’m looking forward to your next video.

  20. Angela says:

    I’m still waiting for my reply Matt :)

  21. Linda Goytil says:

    Oh crap!!! My response was for YOU & it WENT INTO THE RESPONSE AREA!!!! HELP ME!!! HOW EMBARRASSED AM I!!!! CAN YOU RETRIEVE IT, PLEASE…HURRY!!!! Linda xx

  22. Karina says:

    Please give your mom a huge hug for mother’s day from me. I met her on your last live tour in NYC and she was amazing! So caring and smart. I gave her a note for you, I hope she remembered.

  23. Cheryl says:

    Hey guys

    Thought to shoot a quick note in adjunct to this procrasfination topic of email replies, our tendancies, so forth. This “thing” we ALL encounter is our little internal bad voice we All carry around daily. You are right, it Does affect all areas of life, it began in childhood to serve a functional purpose in our lives. It’s there to what It thinks is to guard and protect us from some perceived harm, or even perceived need we think we have. Almost like a separate personality we all carry around inside. Bear with me, cuz there’s a solution to diminish it exponentially.

    First we must speak to it, like a persona and acknowledge its existence. Acknowlege to It that you are aware of its function, thank it for the help its attempting to provide. Now, you need to confront it by saying something like “I know you are trying to love and protect me and I thank you, but I am in control now, hold yourself with your arms, and say to It, that what you decide to do it will be okay.” When you do this numerous times daily as It crops up, believe me, it does lessen immensely. It DOES!!!

  24. D says:

    This video is so great! I mean had the same experience because I care deeply and so I will want make I respond correctly. And it will be like hurting my heart the longer I take. And sometimes, I feel like the person doesn’t want a big response so that blocks me as well. I am an accountant and a big part of the job is getting information, especially as an auditor. I can’t tell you how almost cruel it is when people don’t respond or at the last minute. Oftentimes, something is wrong or they answered the wrong question. The time wasted documenting what you need and who you asked makes no sense. And accountants are never backed so it’s very painful. And what you are saying about just giving some kind of courteous response, would be tantamount to respect and I think that once that is not there… I see it in my friends too. I live in NYC and they think it’s because they are busy, but the flip side when they don’t respond is very hurtful. I have accepted it for so long. I am not sure how to fix it. Anyhow, now I am writing all this!! Thank you so much for your videos and kindness,

  25. Whitney Stimpson says:

    This is completely relevant for me. Great tip!

  26. Emily says:

    Ha! This is spot on. I am terrible with this–or rather, expert at exactly the process you describe. Especially with letters; I just sent my cousin a package with a letter I started last fall! I wanted to send her a dvd of photos but the work of making the dvd and then writing a good letter to accompany it kept playing against each other and then the longer it took me, the more I had to say and the more awesome the package had to be to make up for the time it had taken….vicious centrifugal cycle! Eventually on Friday I stopped trying to make it awesome and just got it in the mail as it was, so she will get SOMETHING rather than the total silence that comes of Correspondence-Guilt Syndrome. Sighhh.

    Knowing that this is a problem for me, I’ve been working on changing my habit by noticing when I say “that’s quick; I’ll do it later”–every time I hear myself thinking this, I have to DO IT RIGHT NOW.

    It sometimes works. ;)

  27. Isabel says:

    I am so relieved that I am not alone there… I will try your tip. Thanks Matthew!

  28. Kari says:

    Hello, Matt.
    That happens to me too, not only with emails but for some long articles I find on Internet, so I would get a lot of articles saved in pocket. I’ll try to practice what you’re saying. And because I get it, I understand why you haven’t written me back yet ;-) Greetings from Peru!

  29. Jan says:

    Totally agree – a quick email in acknowledgement. In it you can say you will send a longer one in hours/days/or even next week (providing you keep your word!).

  30. Jenny says:

    Excellent video Matt, thanks. I’m glad I’m not the only one who has done this – putting off an email response in order to take time to show the person appreciation or my consideration of what they have said, but then finding it difficult to find the time. A quick, heartfelt response can be much better and will probably cover 80% of what you want to say anyway. Have a great week.

  31. Gabriella says:

    Lol! So does this mean you will respond to all our emails? =)

    I’m kidding.

    I’m guilty of this on RSVP (dating site)…I often get very lengthy emails from men and feel like I need to reply in kind and it gets tedious. I will now try and respond quickly with a couple of sentences. :)

  32. Anita says:

    Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! Finally one topic I personally (mostly) don’t have a problem with – but am very passionate about, especially in a professional context. I think it’s so great that you want to work on that for yourself and have put it out there for others to consider as well! I always find it sooo frustrating when I don’t even get a “Thank you for your e-mail. I’ll get back to you in a bit/tomorrow/as soon as I can/etc.” message back, just to indicate “received, read and thinking about it”. It takes no time at all but for me it’s actually a respect thing. Even though a more in-depth answer right away would be ideal, this kind of quick answer just lets me know that my message hasn’t disappeared into a “black hole of oblivion” … and this is calming and prevents me from getting overly anxious for an answer.
    In a dating context, that’s exactly where the guesswork starts if you, say, are waiting too long for a response from your crush/boyfriend. I don’t know if it’s the same with guys but us ladys (at least that’s true for me) then get all of those thoughts racing through our heads that drive us craaaazy, like: maybe he’s just super busy and hasn’t even properly read my message yet; does he even care; is he annoyed by my message; is this supposed to be some sort of game; does he simply have different texting/e-mailing habits/standards and this has actually nothing to do with me personally; etc. etc.
    Even with friends and even if I know that they like me and don’t mean to offend me, I still feel it’s rude to take your sweet time answering a text or an e-mail.
    Of course, there are some variations as to how long it’s okay to put off an answer. Depends on the context (work, private) and what type of message it is. (Just a little “disclaimer” to my comment. I didn’t mean to come off as super judgemental or impatient. ;) I just needed to get that off my chest.)


  33. maria says:

    Hello Matt,
    The messages i was thinking about,but didn’t send or write are endless, also because of the option to be misunderstood. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic :-)

    • Maria says:

      Simple tips are sometimes the best! I wrote many messages and answered old emails in a short way with no consideration how awkward this might be. and people are responding without resentment :-)

  34. Samar says:

    This video reminds me of an essay my grandfather ( may allah bless his soul) used to tell me” don’t leave today’s work for tomorrow. It may seem that it is superficial words but it holds a very essential and deep meaning. In spite that we all always fall for the same trap

  35. neethuz says:

    Hey Matt. ..

    That was an eye opener for me ;) 11 on 10…good topic matt..actually I do find this very depressing and we assume they totally might not like us…and when they get time ..They respond very kindly and in a caring way with the reasons that are to be a sort of a made up excuse- that makes it hard to punish them ;)
    but what if they show this pattern often? Esp when it’s someone you really love and who loves u too. ..He calls himself a workaholic ..but can that reason be genuine? I need ur advise. .how can i make this time lag shorter without being desperate in his eyes ? Waiting for a vedio on this;)

  36. Angela says:

    Hello Matt,

    I really like this video, I’ll tell you why. In my life, I have experienced many, many people who do not reply to messages, texts etc. that I have sent to them. To be quite frank, not replying to a message, is downright rude and ignorant. In this modern day and age there is no excuse for ignoring someone. If the person receiving the message doesn’t want to be associated with the sender, tell them !!! It’s the kindest thing to do.

    I made a pact with myself about 3 years ago that anyone and everyone who sends me an e-mail, text, a missed phone call etc, WILL get a reply, and now, I always, always answer or acknowledge everyone who contacts me. Also, on Facebook, if I see it’s one of my friends birthday, I always say “Happy Birthday x” to all of them.

    And Matt, I love your work :)

    Angela x

  37. Amirah Jaafar says:

    Excellent advice. May Allah lead you to His path Ameen.

  38. Laura says:

    Hey Matthew,
    It just sounds like you are just being a considerate person and you do care about your fans and other people in your life. We all know you are a busy person and know it may take a little time for you to get back to us. Also wanted to say that I have read your book GTG which I really like and even a counselor that I talk to is helping me understand between the Blackfeet tribe culture of dating and the rest of the U.S. For example, for some reason it’s odd that the girl is not supposed to ask the guy out for coffee cause he’ll take it the wrong way, even a few of my guy relatives think that’s weird. But if the guy is a total jerk then we women we still have the right to accept the male’s coffee invite.

    Got a little off topic there but just mostly wanted to say that I like the advice that you give.

    P.S.- Have a little question if you don’t mind me asking, have women in the past ever used any of the tips that you give on you yourself? If they did did you find it odd? Just a little curious. Laterz

  39. Elena says:

    This video is made for me… I do this ALL THE TIME and hate myself for doing it. I have to fix this.

  40. wendy ponson says:

    I say we get together and work on this together…we can then hold each other accountable ;)

  41. Jenna says:

    Thanks for this post Matt! I Love all of your videos. What if you don’t want to get back to that person because they want to see you and hangout with you but you dont want to hangout with them? And you’ve told them you dont really want to hangout and you’re busy doing your thing but theyre just not getting it? I feel guilt tripped and obligated, almost resentful into explaining myself when i’ve already explained to them what i wanted to say. Then what?

  42. Soso says:

    Hello Matthew,

    I’m so much like you.
    I take too much time to respond to emails because of I want to give the person a thoughtful answer.

    But I also have another issue if I answer too fast.
    I tend to make blunders in my communication.
    Or, I write answers that are too much complicated.
    I need to time to organize my thoughts in a way that is easily understandable by other people.
    I’m not naturally synthetic, I have to put a lot of effort to build a synthetic answer.

    I had some troubles in the past when I answered too quickly to emails because of the this difficulties.
    I received a cold answer saying that they didn’t understand at all what I waq trying to say.
    Or, they answer something that shows they misinterpretated what I was trying to express.

    That’s why my daily challenge when I writing emails is to find the right balance between :
    – hesitating too long (which can be problematic in a profesionnal context)
    – answering too fast and making blunders or not being synthetic and articulate enough.

    That’s hard!


  43. Essex says:


    I’m having same problem, it keeps saying sign up to watch. I’ve signed up to everything including all the programs man myth etc, so not sure what else to sign up to!


  44. Lauren says:

    Ugh! I’ve tried to watch the vid like ten times and it keeps saying ”this video is private”! Watching your vids is one of my Saturday night rituals. Can you please get your team to fix it? Thanks Matthew! Love your work and can’t wait to learn (and practice) this new tip!! :)

    • Emily says:

      Ha ha, maybe it’s part of the “ironic” thing. We’re supposed to fix all our relationships by keeping everything private. Or by sharing everything openly? One or the other. ;)

      • Lauren says:

        Haha! I think you’re right! He got me there! Maybe I should read the description of the vid next time before I watch so I don’t get fooled lmao! ;)

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