Online dating has come a long way.
It’s now practically expected that most single people will eventually create up a quick Tinder profile, or stroll onto Bumble, or, if they really want to make an effort, launch a profile on Match.com
But does it work? Can you find love through a dating app?
The answer is…yes…if you use them correctly.
That’s why it’s crucial to avoid the common mistakes everyone else makes. Treat this blog post as the essential beginner’s online dating tips for getting started in your foray into the buffet that is digital dating.
If you do online dating wrong, it leads to burnout, frustration, and a general belief that the opposite sex aren’t actually humans but evil, soul-sucking demons sent to torture you through your phone.
So let’s get the basics right so that we can actually make this fun again.
What Not To Do: Online Dating Advice BEFORE You Start
Unfortunately, too many of us treat dating apps are a cure-all.
We tell ourselves, “I don’t need to go out and meet people anymore, because I can spend my evenings swiping in front of Netflix”.
This is a terrible dating strategy.
That’s right: one of the biggest online dating mistakes is using online dating too much.
Why? Because you begin to limit your options. There are amazing guys and people you can meet anywhere, everyday, and if you only date online you are basically ruling out 90% of the available guys out there who you won’t see on your phone screen.
And there’s another way that women prevent success in finding love through online dating: Being too picky.
“Wait a second!” I hear you reply, “Aren’t I supposed to have high standards and never settle for less than I deserve?”
That’s true. But in the early stages, you don’t know which guy could be amazing for you. Which is why the people who have the worst results on dating sites are the people who are SUPER choosey in who they swipe right on.
This is a mistake because it makes you lose many great guys for superficial reasons (e.g. assumptions about his career, his age, his height, etc.).
Remember: you can always be picky later on once you’re in conversation. But at first it really pays to swipe yes on more potential guys so that you leave room to be surprised!
To sum it up, follow this golden rule of online dating advice: be open-minded about whom you meet, but be very picky about whom you choose to invest serious emotion into.
And finally…don’t waste time
I hate to break this to you, but nearly everything on your phone is specifically designed to get you addicted.
And dating apps are no different.
It’s easy to burn hours away feeling like you’re making progress, when really you’re just mindlessly rubbing your finger across your a screen whilst sat in your pyjamas.
Spend 20 minutes maximum swiping a day, then get on with other things. Living a passionate life, meeting friends, going to cool places, being productive and taking chances around you: these are all time better spent than carrying on another 10 conversations on Tinder that don’t go anywhere.
If you match with a guy you like, don’t stick around too long having endless chit-chat. Decide if you have chemistry in the first couple of conversations and then arrange a quick meet-up. Or if you really want to test before you date then schedule a phone call to see how he is in real-time.
Trust me: it beats wasting weeks talking to someone only to find out on the first date that you weren’t as attracted to them as you initially thought.
Use your time wisely, and online dating can become an amazing tool for improving your dating life. But remember: it’s a useful bonus, not a magic bullet for dating success.
6 Replies to “Online Dating Mistakes You’re Making”
I was wondering if you could make something about dating a guy with children and /or has been married before?
And also what to think about if you’re a single person who’s child/children before?
I met a guy online. I live in Ohio and he lives in Florida. I’m 55 he is 54. After other experiences, I verified for myself things about him. So he was a real person. We made a connection and talked for two weeks everyday. He said he wanted to come meet me. He said he would come to Ohio first. He was going to stay in a hotel (because I didn’t know him) He was coming in on a Friday. Monday of that week he didn’t call me or answer my calls of texts. He kept saying before then that he was going to secure his flight and every time I asked him if he did, he said that he was going to. To this day he still has not been in contact.
I don’t know what I did. We were just talking and getting to know each other and I thought him coming here ( which he said was “no problem, just a 2 hour flight” ) would be nice because he was showing that he was really interested in getting to know me. I moved on after I left a message telling him that if he changed his mind about coming that was fine, that’s his right but he could at least answer my call. I’m not angry, I just don’t know why men play these types of games at this age.
What did I do wrong? He contacted me first on the site. I wasn’t sure about someone out of state but I took a chance. Now I think I should stay with someone close to where I live, like someone in my state.
what do i say to a guy when i am dating multiples but only sleeping with him(1) and another wants to progress(2) with me but i want to only progress with him(1)? how do i know or ask if we are just casually dating or progressing?
should I stop with the other dates? how do i know if im wasting my time?
Guy 1 i have been seeing a couple of months and i really like him but he is married to his work. he is open and honest about that with me and tells me the schedule will lighten up soon and talks about things to do in the short term future, guy 2 is more recent and seems to want to progress faster and is available more often..but i really like guy 1..
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amazing write up
Nice article.Never thought like this.Thanks.
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