She Calls Me Out On National TV, But Watch What Happens Next

Last year I found myself on camera for a TV show – on one of the biggest stages I’d ever been on – in front of a live studio audience…

This clip is going to ‘inoculate’ you for life and have you ready should anyone ever try to embarrass you in front of others.

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446 Replies to “She Calls Me Out On National TV, But Watch What Happens Next”

  1. I remember this moment on Ready for Love vividly. I actually began to feel hot and embarrassed for you while watching. But you were so classy and cool and I thought, “Matt has his shit together”. But still, whew!

    But you turned it around on her pretty quick. But you’re nice. When I do it, I’m nasty. Not on purpose, but when I feel attacked I either react not nicely or I just say nothing but give the death stare. I try to be nice so it’s mostly death starey. But it’s non-reactive, though.

    I don’t usually say anything, honestly. But usually the other person winds themselves down and with my silence I continue in calmness. I wish I could think of the perfect pithy remark in the moment, but I can’t even think of one hours later!

    I’m on a journey. :-) I like what you said about being prepared before the event. It’s hard for me because I like to relax, but you’re right. You have to prepare for every encounter like it’s a job interview. Gosh.

    Do I like this kind of content? I’m not sure. I’m starting to think that a lot of your advice and techniques work just through sheer practice. Being in these uncomfortable situations over and over until your words do flow more easily. I’m having trouble putting myself in those situations or accepting that they are going to happen often enough for me to daily prepare for them.

    So interesting video, but I think there is a point where we get off the computer watching videos and spend a lot more time in the discomfort of actually practicing this stuff.

    1. A.,
      I think Matt’s technique works because he is focused on others and not focused on himself. To me, it’s clear his intention is to create value and lots of it. He’s had a lot of practice, yes, but that would be nothing without his humble service come from.
      Best wishes on your journey!

  2. Hi Matt,

    I agree with many others on the fact that it is very interesting when you share your thoughts on topics other than love and relationships. Which is why I enjoyed this video, and the break down, as well.

    I have asked it before, but I am not sure whether you (or your team) saw the note: would you be willing to share some of your favourite books with us? I very much enjoy reading about psychology, why we behave a certain way, core confidence etc. In a sea of “self-help” books by “experts”, I find it hard to find quality books that offer the same genuine approach as you do.

    Thanks a lot Matt!

    Leonie

  3. Hi, I like this video, thanks for sharing! Recently, I am researching on how to manage emotions. Because at the end of the day, if one can’t control his/her emotions, the knowledge or plans or whatever inside the mind is totally useless. Because without calmness, we often made our points seem wrong (it’s either sounded too offensive or defensive). I think the video is a great help and a new discovery for me. I hope you will continue to share similar topics which could be really useful in our lives especially when it comes to communicating with people (difficult ones). Thank you, Matthew! This is the best I have seen so far! Now please excuse me so I can watch again and take note! Haha!
    Have a nice day everyone!

    1. So many smart comments here. Yes, you are so right. That is the hard part. You nailed it sister.

  4. Love this Matt!! I found myself smiling when you proved your point to her! I can’t imagine how i’d act if I were put on the spot like that and you handled it like a total pro. I think this video is very helpful and definitely think there should be more of these! Really appreciate all the videos! :)

  5. I loved this clip – and would definitely appreciate more in this style. I have some follow up questions.
    How do you prepare a response so quickly? When I wait patiently for a person to finish calling me out, I immediately think, “Oh, crap! What did I do wrong?” I might think of a response after I have had time to process, but even then my response isstill more offensive. I usually am of the mind of “How dare he/she attack me when my guard is down?” Or I want to explain how he/she is misguided in his/her assailment of me. I have never had a quick quip at the ready. Any advice on preparing for one?
    Also, how do you become so confident in yourself that you don’t feel the need to defend yourself after an assault on your competence? I thought I was self-assured in my abilities, but if I care about someone’s view of me – be it the attacker or a bystander – I can’t help feeling the need to prove myself.
    Thank you for these weekly videos. Your analysis of human behavior is entertaining AND informative.

  6. Yes! I enjoyed learning about this experiece, have had it happen to me several times. Never knowing what the correct response is, sometimes stay silent, agree and let them get all hot and bothered… Glad to see how you handled yourself. I’ll try to prepare next time.

    I’d like to see more content on didn’t topics. Its all very interesting.

    Thanks! X

  7. Hi Matt, I actually watched the show when it was airing (and liked it!)….and I vividly remember this moment from the show. Mainly because I was really impressed how you handled it, despite your young age. ;) So thank you for showing it and breaking it down for us. I found it very helpful, we can all learn to be a better communicators. :)I would love to hear your inputs about other topic than relationships.

    Thanks.

  8. I really appreciated the play by play video where you effectively handled being personally criticized. I am dealing with a n ex husband who tries to threaten and scare me *even threatening to have me arrested* and I often end up over-explaining myself which only makes him more nold. I am going to use this next time to regain my own place of strength and calm.

  9. It occurred to me that what you said is the way Ben Franklin would have responded, although he would have prefaced it with “Madam,”. (So, touche.) I think that in terms of how to communicate in relationships, this content is helpful. I have been in situations where I was asked for feedback, and gave it, and it was not well-received. Sometimes people really only want you to tell them what they want to hear, and it’s a no-win situation if they are a defensive or insecure type of person. So a lesson in learning to pick one’s battles might also be in order, which can save many relationships, or, confrontation without annihilation.

    1. Totally agree Vicki. Sometimes Impact is about knowing when NOT to take the bait.

      Thanks!

      Steve x

  10. This video taught me well. I think you handled things th right way. I admire your character! I hope and can react like that in a similar situation.

  11. Oh yes, that’s how you deal with conflict :)

    Being strong means being able to stay calm when others can’t.

  12. You handled yourself incredibly well. By not confronting her head on you managed to prove your thoughts and the worth of your words. It also made for some good TV haha:) I liked this video a lot! Great advice and, I’m sure what you said will at some point come in handy. keep it up!

  13. Matthew, this is the most valuable explanation I have got till now about “how to deal with a confrontion”!
    It’s going step by step, which is very important to help us understanding the things in a very deep level.

    I have a question : How do we deal when 2 people are in a conflict, and you have to take side because of your skills and position in that particular confrontation ?

    Merci et bon dimanche ! ;)
    Anita

  14. Hi Matt

    This was very useful for me as I had a similar situation with a friend (well she’s done it on a few occasions) who will ask my advice or opinion about something, then as I begin to give it will then publicly undermine me. Or will make negative judgements about the people who attend the club I run behind their backs, then promptly try to dominate any conversations I have with them, making herself appear keen and interested.

    I realised that she really wants is for me to just say yes to all her ideas but I can’t. So I am trying to be non reactive but it’s a challenge. I know that if I can do this I will really grow as a person.

    I think this video and hopefully future ones will be beneficial for showing how to interact with all kinds of people in different situations. For me responding to managers who try to devalue the work and effort you’ve put in by nitpicking your faults.

    Thanks

    1. I agree with Vie, Matt can you make videos on what to do in other situations like this in business? Maybe on networking and all that jazz too?

      This was so interesting. I watched that episode on ready to love too and I was like ohhh shoot, but you handled it well and I was like he got this :)

  15. Hey Matthew! I thoroughly enjoyed the content of this video. It would be awesome to see some more videos about the tendencies and patterns of human behavior!

  16. LOVE this video. I tend to get too passionate when someone challenges me because I quite like a good argument, but often end up regretting something I’ve said, or how much I let that person influence me. These are wonderful tips- I have an intensive assessment centre coming up for a grad job where I’ve been told I’ll be challenged like this to simulate the work environment, and I have a feeling this is going to be a real help! Keep these techniques coming!

    Thanks Matt!
    All the way from Australia,
    Sarah

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