I get it…. You’ve all had a good laugh at my botched spray tan. (In case you missed it, watch last Sunday’s blog and check out all of the negative comments on YouTube).
Now you may think that type of thing gets me upset, but it doesn’t. It used to, of course – I’m only human. But being in the public eye, I’ve learned a few things about overcoming negativity and bad energy, and I want to share them with you today…
247 Replies to “The Surprising Way to Become Instantly More Attractive”
I loved this video. Thank you for once again reaffirming that it’s ok to not be the “picture perfect/socially acceptable” version of ourselves that many people feel pressured to be, all because people that, in reality, have no true significance in our lives, want us to “fit in”.
So what, you had a bad tan, it doesn’t matter. I used to worry about my stretch marks as many believe the idea of them to be horrid. I now own my imperfections as best I can. I still have the odd moment where I am self conscious (I doubt that will ever truly end) but in times I do worry about my physical imperfections, I remember that I earned those stretch marks when I had my amazing little boy. So, who cares if I am not beautiful in the eyes of some because whenever my son hugs me, I feel like the most beautiful women in the world.
Don’t let the finger pointing nay sayers get you down. After all, every time they point a finger at you, they have three more pointing back at them x
Great job on the ‘raw’ video Matt! Until a few years ago I was very insecure about the truth of my childhood. People would ask me normal questions about my parents, school, experiences,etc. And I always felt panicked to come up with something that ‘sounded normal’. I spent a lot of time falling in love with myself including the things that made me this way such as a f’d up childhood :) I don’t tell my life story to everyone but instead I focus on the positive when I am asked those questions now.
Gosh, all I noticed in the last video was the Thin Mints. Mmmm . . . Thin Mints. :-)
You’re a tougher man than I, Matthew! I don’t like getting tough. :-/
I hope my comments are more constructive and not too jabby. :-)
Insecurity? I have some scars on my faces that are tiny. Sometimes I cover them with makeup and sometimes I don’t have time to. It’s interesting. People still laugh and enjoy me with or without makeup. I do feel self-conscious about it, but I also feel free that I can still be attractive to people even when I forget to cover them. I can just be .. . me.
Love you too, Matthew!
I am overweight so I have all of those wonderful surface insecurities to go along with the deeper ones but I have a very big scar on my throat due to thyroid surgery a few years back.
It took me a couple of years to not be traumatized when people would ask me about it but now I don’t think of it. It’s just there. I still find it to be Terrible manners when someone does ask a question, I don’t think you should ask a complete stranger about scars, but I’m no longer thrown into a tailspin about it.
yes I was wondering about why your hands were so pale and your arms so dark but I didn’t want to say anything
Hi Matt. Love your work. You always succeed in making me feel better about myself and eager to use your advice. I am self concious about my less than perfect thighs. Zumba and walking have made no difference to this part of me. I also have thick hair which takes an age to calm and control. If my friends saw me when I get out of the shower I think they would be shocked. My hair (on my head!) is WILD! I am not the most confident person in the world. There are days when I just don’t have the energy to deal with life. On those days I have a “lake me” day. I swim in “lake me” and take a day just for me. I do what I want to do. Eat, drink, listen and watch things that make me happy. Then face the world the next day feeling confident and ready. Keep up the great work. x
I loved your message in this video (put it in my notes). My flaws. I have dark spots on my face from too much sun, dimpled thighs and a flat butt.
Do you have any IDEA how important what you said is? (Pardon the fucked up syntax) I’m 58 years old and only recently did I realize the deep down truth of what you just said.Men are somehow taught this, but girls are told, “Smile! Cross your ankles! Be pleasant! Don’t forget your Purse! Be a LADY!” Less than perfect is not acceptable If you are female. Thank you SO much for this video! Every second is pure gold! I promise to do my best to spread it far and wide. You are AWESOME! —-VV
Matt, your honesty and vulnerability are hallmarks of courage. Bravo!
Regarding body image: At age 69, I’ve thankfully reached appreciation of my healthy–if not model-thin body.
I love that you share ideas and food for thought beyond dating advice–although that’s great as well.
Wishing you all the best…..
I work on the mines and like to go to the bar and get social. The other night I sat down with a few guys who had taken me for an underground tour. One of the guys called over a young guy (about my age) and started chatting, soon I noticed them talking about me and pointing in my direction. I heard my guy friend say “what about her? She’s nice!”
This other guy however, looked straight at me and said “pfft nuh.. not my type”
At first what he said really stung me. Not only had he said it loud enough to hear, but there were others there who would have heard too! I had never felt so awkward in the adult world.. In that moment I felt pretty ugly! But then realised, he didn’t say I was ugly, he just has different tastes. I know I’m not going to be everyones cup of tea, and I’ve become perfectly okay with that :) I still have a lot of options ;)
thanks for posting this video.
As for your tanning situation, I didn’t realise because I was looking at your face the whole time :)
That was a good one. What you say is so important. I’ve got so may insecurities about the way I look I’d need to write a book. My worst one being, I’ve over plucked my eyebrows and can’t bare to be seen without eye black on them. It even stops me dating. How’s that for an admission.
I actually love this video where it was not edited to perfection but in the real and raw term as you said..I donot think that this was along video clip even though it tool about 22 minutes to deliver your content but it was absolutely amazing stuff that I would go back and watched it again and again when my insecurities creep in at times..It is true that life is aint all perfect and there will be time when ones will face with bad energies and when that time comes your this video will definitely help..Conditioning it and owning it..Those are not exactly the things that ones can learn just in a day or two but this will definitely takes some time..But thanks for the tips and about the part where you spoke about the less attractive part of my body, I sure have an issue with my tummy but other than that I still love all those imperfection of myself…
Well I didn’t see the video you were talking about but its not surprising that something like that would get people talking.
I used to faint and it was very disruptive to my schooling, parties, work etc. People often ask me about it and I have to put up with their feedback.
I like your idea of not justifying it. Great video!
I am fat and not just “do these jeans make my butt look big” fat, but yeah, fat fat. I feel the need sometimes to tell people about why the weight gain, and I let it destroy my confidence in front of strangers who I need to walk by, because I am projecting what they are thinking of me.
Thanks Matt, you’ve given people an opportunity here to accept themselves and stop thinking they need to always put on a facade, it’s about time we all stopped pretending to be someone else and love and accept who we are! There’s many things that I am not happy about with my looks but they have been created by comparing myself to others, a mistake I’ve carried around for too long… I’m shifting my mindset I hope many other beautiful women listen carefully to the inner message you are sharing. Thank you for being honest and so wondefully raw today :)
Very well said!
Thanks for the video Matt, it was great!! I love positive energy, we all need to be encouraged sometimes. I definitely have many physical insecurities. They include bags under my eyes, acne I’ve suffered from all my life, my bottom lip pokes out a lot, I hate that with a passion oh and I have many scars from getting third degree burns when I was a child! Yea clearly I’m so imperfect, but I’m me though and I’m still beautiful!
Hi Matthew, I watch your videos frequently, and gain a lot from them thank you, my body image is voluptuous, I have two rolls of belly fat, and finding it harder to tone! But hey I know I’m a good nice person and it’s. So true about negative energy, I do try to stay away from it as much as possible. Thank you for all the videos.
We are all energy, human Spirit. Thank you for talking about bad energy and ways you can deal with it. People that say negative thing should realize that their body hears what they’re saying it can not distinguish that they are saying to someone else and they’re body takes it in. As long as you are helping people, which you are, that is what is beautiful about you. i am grateful for you.
Hi Matt. Please come to Switzerland. And please make a video on this: men see me as an innocent sweet girl they want to protect. But just until the first sex. No matter if it’s a one night stand or if we have been waiting for a year. How can I have hot sex with someone without making him losing these feelings?
As soon as you mentioned the 1 area of the body that evokes self-consciousness, I knew my share! The cellulite that’s taken up long-term residence on my backside. I’ve even retyped this sentence about 10 times, because I was feeling the Strong need to justify why my body transformation is still a work in progress. :) I am so grateful you posted this video, because I really needed to hear the core messages. Nurturing self-confidence, embracing flaws, owning our decisions, deflecting negativity and being resilient. I’m totally going to check out the spray tan video now, and I’m sure I won’t even notice the ghost hands, because I’ll be so raptured by your intelligence. Thanks, as always, for being brilliant. ~elyse
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