This Brilliant Line Got Me to Call Instead of Text

I’m guilty…

Like most men, I had fallen into the habit of only texting women instead of picking up the phone and calling.

It’s quick, it’s convenient, and I assumed it was the preferred method to keep in touch between dates – that is, until I met HER…


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9 Texts No Man Can Resist

42 Responses to This Brilliant Line Got Me to Call Instead of Text

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  1. Samantha says:

    I’m not sure if I’ve missed my chance….

    So I’ve been talking to his guy for almost a year now. When I say talking, I mean texting. Almost everyday.
    But unfortunately I we haven’t had a telephone conversation. Now I’m scared to call him, but should I just do it and see if the conversation sparks we have texting translate to audio?

  2. Elizabeth says:

    This sounds great, but maybe I missed something. It could be that I needed to actually call him rather than text we are like pen pals. It did not get him to pick up the phone. The text conversation was about why we probably should not pursue the relationship further. That being written, maybe that is merely confirmaton for me.

  3. Monalisa Parker says:

    No one can say he or she has a perfect relationship. My issue is even worst.


    I dated a guy for 7 months went on vacations met each others families then he stopped calling. Then after month he called then we went on a 3 day vacation then he doesn’t call. What is this I refuse to reach out to him he lives with his parent I call him a mommas boy although I like him I refuse to reach out to him like I did when we first started dating please help

  5. Elizabeth says:

    Are there any coaches as insightful into this type of stuff as Matthew who do individual coaching? I’m 26 and have never dated anybody, and I’m clearly not doing a very good job fixing the many things wrong with me on my own. I don’t want my life to continue like this anymore. Therapy never helped any. Most coaches seem to spout a bunch of expensive, generic fluff rather than offering any real insight. If anyone who sees this can recommend someone, let me know! I set it to email me with followup comments. Thank you. :)

    • Fiona says:

      Dear Elizabeth,
      I would recommend looking at more of Matthew’s videos for guidance or maybe any of the programmes he offers. It’s not all about dating. It’s about being the best person you can be for yourself, your friends, family and reaching out and connecting with people. To not be disconnected from life. Think every day what you can do to try to improve how you feel and how you are. Something nice for yourself, something intellectual, being kind to others, growing, learning, connecting with another person? Starting very small but doing something consistently every day is absolutely the best way to achieve anything. You have the possibilities already there inside yourself so don’t be afraid to take the first step to start something. You’ll be so glad that you did.
      I think you need to concentrate on being kind to yourself and looking at what makes you happy first. Once you can live a life that you want, then you will become an even more attractive, interesting and dateable person that means it will happen naturally.
      Lots of luck, I took the small steps and it’s gets a million times easier every day I do something.

    • lina says:

      Liz, you may like Chazz Ellis. I like his youtube vids but he also does coaching. check ‘im out. good luck:)

  6. Rachael Bleiweiss says:

    So far what I have heard on this particular subject has been helpful & encouraging. Having experienced an abusive controlling relationship with my spouse for 6 years, I’m all about taking back my personal power.
    Also learned quite a lot about the way people can manipulate or influence others only for their soul benefit. I don’t believe that is at all what a good relationship is about. The title of a self affirmation poem I wrote is titled ” journey to freedom-reclaiming my life” Which has be an extraordinary struggle to feel I can & should be able to fulfill those words as well as the 10 affirmations starting with I am A Victor not a victim ,second I will be independent not co dependant.Won’t go into all the rest now.
    Let me just say in that relationship I lived with constant fear & ,intimidation. Even after years of counselling, therapy re evaluation, and trying to find my center, my balance myself again it still feels pretty bleak on the romance front although I get attention I’m terrified to respond. Any suggestions for me?
    On a side note it’s good to know that it doesn’t always all come naturally to a certain set of men or women who just seem to “have it” A pretty silly thing I used to think if you could learn from movies & people to have it too.
    Since then I realized there is so much more to learn that most people won’t freely share or talk abouts.
    So thank you for generous shedding some much needed light on these perplexing issues. Which I guess are just a matter of being armed with good information rather than even just the smallest miss information.

  7. Cathy says:

    I loved the thoughtfulness in this video, how you took extra time to break down all the nuances of the communication so we could see the value in learning specific communication techniques and nuggets from you. Often, we get so caught up in our own emotional stew that we lose sight of how the words we choose to communicate with a man either push him away or bring him toward us. It is very helpful to take a step back and look at the process rationally, while learning from a man how men think. Looking forward to more!!

  8. JA! says:

    2 things have served you masively and one of them is not Jameson?? ha ha… :)

  9. nabila says:

    I think what you’re saying in this video can be applyed in all aspects of life, not just love life :) really good vudeo, thank you :)

  10. Tali says:

    Aren’t you amazing when it comes to giving tips for life? I like how you think about these things. We agree on that stuff. Good job, Matt!

  11. Allison says:

    Wow, thank you so much for this, Matthew! Really damn good advice :-).

  12. jo says:

    Please. It isn’t always about pleasing a man. Why should they have to be coaxed into a simple gesture? Response is great, but interest from a woman is about his making personal gestures that make you feel important. Texting is great for saying “I’m here. Are you finding a parking place? Communication goes both ways.

  13. Leecis says:

    Simple briiiamt ; competence . Love it

  14. Veronika says:

    Hi Communication Maestro! Exceptional tips! Thanks!

  15. JJ says:

    Can you fix your website. I can’t use the zoom in feature on my iPad and the text size is too small to read without the zoom feature. Please don’t lock in the page with no zoom feature. Thanks for considering:)

  16. Ricky says:

    Thank you for this post Matthew. Your videos and articles have increased my competence in dating tremendously! In this post, you mentioned communication and I’ve been hoping for a long time that you would delve into this more. I feel that this area is really where I’m struggling the most when it comes to all aspects of my dating life and beyond. I find that I’m either very motivated by emotion to share my thoughts/feelings but realize that this may not be the best approach and so then say nothing, which leads to all kinds of misunderstandings and disappointments. It’d be so helpful to hear your insights on communicating with men and in life in general. I really do feel exactly what your saying, where my confidence crashes at my lack of competence in this area. So please, lets get the conversation started !!!! ;) Thanks so much!

  17. tigress866 says:


    I so absolutely love that your posts and Sunday blogs many times can apply to LIFE not simply dating.

    Carry on, my good man. Carry on.

  18. Erica says:

    Thank you Matt, you make really good points in this video that on a daily basis we or I fail to see (speak for myself) I’ll be working on Competence and put to action the great points you’ve made. I’m let u know the results in 4 weeks. Thank you.

  19. Lee says:

    Hey Matthew!
    This struck a chord with me. Some women are lucky to have mothers who bring them up to catch a man. Some of us are thrown out into the deep end without a clue. Our tiny window of opportunity–our 20s–can be messed up badly with guys who mistreat us—like, say, a forced abortion which kills a relationship—or just waste our time because we don’t know what we’re doing and have no protection from family, or anyway to find out what we’re doing wrong. Back when all these relationship books were the rage—you know the ones—I found them useless because the fundamental need to BE the right person was subsumed in the goose chase of finding the right person–the soul mate–the whatever…I never did find the right guy until now when I’m past my sell by date and he’s much younger than me. Its sod’s law I suppose.
    I see these skills working very well though. So thank you!

  20. Sarah says:


    Such a great interesting post! Definitely feel that the point you made about how we act can bring out the best or worst in people is very true
    Do you think perhaps you could talk more about social competence in general with friends, family and co workers, would love to hear your thoughts on it, something I’ve always struggled with
    Kind regards

  21. Dee says:

    I can see this working for someone that you are fairly new in the texting rut.
    What is your advice for when it’s months into the “relationship” and that is his preferred method of communication. If I ask him to call he will, but I feel like I’m always in the drivers seat.

  22. Quelly says:

    Hi Matt,

    What if you left him a missed call, but instead of calling back, he sends a message asking why you called?

    I’m sort of seeing this guy who just loves to communicate via messenger. And actually only texts if I send him a text. But has NEVER called…

    Thank you

    • tigress866 says:

      Try this… I want to ask you something but its too complicated or too much to text. Besides, I can’t help it, I admit I love to hear your voice. It is such a turn on.

      If he still does continue, he may not be the guy for you. The right guy will step up to your standard. ✨

  23. LeAnne says:

    Thank you Matt!! Finally someone who gives real world examples and is genuinely wanting to help. Keep up your amazing work. I have never felt more able to relate to men than i have after your help. Everyday i feel better about my ability to be in the living relationship with a great man some day soon. =)

  24. Laura says:

    Thanks Matthew, really good advice. I have made all of the dating mistakes there are to end up with a fractured heart after dating a guys who’ve chased me and then lost interest. I know I’m less practiced at later stages of relationships and it’s good to know that possibly I could get the competence to improve on this, I’ve come close to relationship happiness probably because of your good dating tips from your book Get The Guy, I just still have lots to learn and maybe your advice on understanding how to influence how guys treat you can help!

  25. Ali Chahat says:

    Hi Matthew!
    Great video as always. I recognise what you taught us in The Ultimate NG, with the C.A.N. D.O. system. It’s great to learn from you. Take care.

  26. Eli says:

    Hi Matthew,

    I just would like to say that whenever I am about to feel a little bit less interested in your videos, it comes out a video of you reminding me one more time how brilliantly competent you are in your field.
    I love this video, and some quotes in it such as “Structure allows for spontaneity” and communication is my passion too.

    May be it is a little bit personal but could you tell me what the brand and model of your watch is? I like it very much and I asked about it before, but I have got no answer. :(


  27. A says:

    Yep, you were pen pals. :-)

    I’m here to say that Matt’s techniques to work. I did get a guy and I did keep him for six months. Just wasn’t the right guy for me. I don’t think there is much one can do about that. Just keep (ugh) dating until you find the right person.

    This video was a bit long. I’m trying to think if I have competence. I have competence in getting a guy, but maybe not competence in choosing the “right” guy.

    The competence thing seems like what people used to call “charm”. It’s totally a practiced skill. I have some of it, but I’m surprised that enhancing those skills is actual work. ;-)

    Thanks for all you do, Matthew. Hopefully someday you’ll visit these comments again.



  28. Deepti says:

    hey matt! your advices work wonders.. thanks for ur videos and i appreciate ur work. i like ur advice of confidence with competence. will practice it. thankyou once again and keep posting ur valueable advices.. :)

  29. PammyJay says:

    I am guilty of only texting a guy. I dislike speaking on the phone. My “potential new boyfriend” calls me , I rarely call back. He always asks why I don’t call back? And when I do call him back , he says he appreciated the fact I called him.
    But now for the past 2 weeks after our 1st date he is only texting me stating we will talk soon and he wants to get together again.
    I think he realizes I prefer texting. But to be honest I don’t think I do.
    I don’t want to be this guy’s pen pal!
    I think I best enter this relationship with competence!
    What your thoughts?

  30. Lauren says:

    Love this video Matthew! I’m so glad you addressed this. You sharing such specific tips over the years about how to execute certain techniques has definitely made me more competent interacting with everyone in general which has lead to me feeling more confident in myself around others which has lead me to being able to feel relaxed and enjoy social situations more than ever! Competence has such an awesome ripple effect. With practice becoming great at whatever it is you’re trying to master eventually makes you too prepared to be scared- or at least not so scared that you don’t even try. Competence is really powerful. I aslo think if you have certain tools to work with in your love life your relationship stands a much better chance of going to a richer, more beautiful, stronger place all because you know how to help it grow in a positive direction. If you’re not competent you may not ever get to have the beautiful and satisfying relationship you desire. I agree with all the points you made in this video. Competence also adds an element of security. It’s sad and funny that some people think they can just wing it and expect to be the best and have everything turn out perfectly. Developing a skill takes humility and work -can’t be too proud of yourself or work shy if you want a quality relationship or a quality anything lol. Competence is king! :)

  31. Emily says:

    So does “flustered” have a positive connotation in British English?

    • jeanette says:

      Flustered in the US means “to be nervously or agitatedly confused.” Using the word “excited” might work much better.

    • Emily says:

      I saw “flustered” as being like how you have butterflies when you talk to someone you really like, or like how you can make someone blush by flirting with them. I interpreted her comment as “You’re s’damn sexy I can’t think straight.”

      (Somehow writing this made me think of that line in Dead Poets’ Society, when they’re getting ready for the dance–“Women swoon!”)

  32. Nichole says:

    Brilliant video! I have never had confidence with men so my competence is about a three out of ten. Any help I can get, even if I never use it, makes me feel better! Thank you, Matt!

  33. JJ says:

    I came up with this great line last night after seeing a guy in the grocery store check out who was checking me out. I could tell he wanted to meet me but there was no time. The opportunity passed us and I thought what could a person say to someone who has been making eye contact the last moment before they moved on with their day… So I came up with this one Matthew tell me what you think.

    When he has been looking at you, you can say with a little confused look on your face as if to try and place in your mind where you may have met each other,
    ” Do you know me or just wanting to know me?…” and then give him a sexy smile as you look in his eyes.

    I haven’t tried this line out yet but I will the next time I am in this situation again.

  34. Charlene Gordon says:


  35. agatha says:

    Best video yet! Thank you :)

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