We all know Tinder is the biggest dating app of the decade so far.
It has its problems (as my brother Steve has written about before), but for many women who put themselves in the category of “single-and-looking”, it has been a game-changer.
Women who previously had never considered online dating in their lives are finding themselves swiping hours away looking for matches.
Because it’s simple: Upload few pics, write one line or two about yourself, and you’re done.
But that doesn’t mean Tinder suddenly makes dating easy…
In this article, I’m going to reveal exactly what men look for in a woman’s Tinder profile, and show you some of the biggest mistakes I’ve seen women make in their photos and bio.
The 6 MUST-DO’s For Your Profile Photos
Let’s face it, Tinder is all about the visual.
A photo of you is the first thing a guy is going to see, so it pays to put in serious thought here. Here are some very simple, yet crucial, tips for making sure you draw a guy’s eye when he sees your picture:
• Make sure your first picture is a close-up
Your very first photo should be a close-up of your face, roughly from about the chest upwards.
A full body shot doesn’t give a guy enough indication of your facial features, and if it’s too zoomed out it’s likely he’ll just never bother to even click the profile to check out your other pictures.
• Either smile, or flirt to camera
There are two options for a great profile photo: either a simple one of you smiling to the camera, or alternatively, research has tended to show that having a slight smirk and a flirtatious look in your eyes is also likely to draw a lot of attention.
If in doubt, go for a warm genuine smile that captures you in the best light.
• Use several photos
The first photo is what draws him in, but it’s the rest of the photos that keep him interested. It’s crucial to ensure you have around 3-5 photos in your profile.
Speaking as a man, more photos are the key to building initial trust and a feeling of security. No matter how attractive you look in your main profile picture, a guy will always be asking himself, “Does she always look like that? Or is that just a particularly one-off spectacular photo of her?”
Choose a few pictures, and make sure to vary the poses and locations a little! E.g. if you used a selfie for your main profile photo, avoid using three more selfies for the other pictures.
Include at least one photo if possible in your Tinder profile that can inspire conversation. For example, one of you in front of the Eiffel Tower or a historic landmark, or doing something physical and adventurous.
• No wacky profile pics
I feel patronizing bringing this up, but I have to say it: Keep the “wackiness” out of your main profile photo. Preferably all photos.
Don’t use that photo of you in the blood-dripping Dracula mask from Halloween. Or the one where you pulled a deliberately goofy face.
There is a time and a place for showing your silly side. But that place is definitely not on the first photo he’s going to be using to decide whether or not he wants to find out more about you.
• Selfies are ok – but do them right
Chances are you might just want to make yourself up, hold up your phone and snap a selfie for your profile pic. That’s fine.
But some crucial rules: don’t do it in the bathroom mirror where he can see the camera in the reflection. Don’t do it as if you were just sitting on the couch and snapped the blurriest, most slap-dash shot you could take.
And make sure to try and crop out your arm, unless you happen to be standing in front of some extremely compelling background (i.e. an Egyptian Pyramid, the Leaning Tower of Pisa). And don’t do the duck face (sorry, had to mention it).
• Include at least one full body pic
Everyone wants to know what they are going to get if they decided to meet you in person. One of the ways to do this is to include at least one full body shot in your photos.
If all your photos are taken from the chest upwards, he may be hesitant because he’s wondering what the rest of your body looks like.
That might sound shallow, but think of it the other way around. You wouldn’t want to be surprised by a guy’s enormous beer gut or his hidden bald spot if every picture he uses has him hiding his torso or wearing a baseball cap.
How To Write Your Bio: A few killer examples
Ok, what about writing your bio? Well, believe it or not, although men are indeed visual creatures, he will judge you based on what your write on your Tinder profile.
So here are a three great, but different examples of bio’s to get you started…
Profile Example 1 – Jen
Bit of a nerd. I like comic books and super heroes. And zombies.
I can be a little competitive. Okay, a lot competitive. ;)
I dig beards (Think Gerard Butler, not Gandalf) and guys that are passionate about something. Even better if you are passionate about something I know nothing about yet.
Profile Example 2 – Michelle
General goofball. Embarrassingly affectionate, lol. Ambitious.
– Family, great friends
– Intelligent conversation
– A clean place.
I have 3 superpowers: 1. Winning Cards Against Humanity 2. Replicating nearly anything I taste without the recipe 3. Well, if I told you…
Profile Example 3 – Sara
Opera-loving, nightclub-dancing, romcom fan. Yea, it’s a weird mix ;) I live to travel and see new places. More of a city than a country girl. Looking for a guy to read books and eat brunch with on Sundays.
* * * * * * *
As you can see above, profiles can vary from short to long, but there are some key principles to keep in mind:
• Sound optimistic
All the profiles above have a sense of fun and enjoyment. They show a woman willing to be playful and not take herself too seriously. Guys love this relaxed, open-minded attitude to life.
• Show your personality through your interests
Giving a hint of your interests is the key to making conversation easy. It gives a guy the perfect first message when he can say “What’s your favorite horror movie?” instead of “Wut up?”
• Say something about what you like in a guy
You don’t need to describe him in detail but giving a little clue that you love guys who dress well, or that you want a partner who loves travel, gives him a sense of who you are and whether you have compatible personalities.
• Give angry dealbreakers
No guy feels excited when he reads the bio that says, “If you’re not a dog person, swipe left!”, or “If you’re just looking for hookups, forget it!” – these just make you sound waaay too intense.
• Write boring clichés
Many people write a single line from a quote on their bio e.g. “Life. Laugh. Love” – that’s not a description, it’s a regurgitated line that 10,000 other women also wrote on their profile. Be original and use your own voice if you want guys to be interested.
• List a bunch of adjectives
e.g. “I’m smart, funny, adventurous, crazy, ambitious, kind…” who cares? It’s ok saying one or two traits about yourself, but it’s much better to SHOW these things through your interests and the things you do.
So that’s it!
Remember, being fun, showing your best side, and most importantly, being YOU are the most important ways find the right guy on Tinder.
Although it’s by no means the only game in town and it has its limitations, it’s definitely a decent way to meet a guy (so long as you are vigilant about screening out the bad ones!) Happy swiping.