The Simple Truth: Why You Don’t Find More Men Attractive

I’ve read countless complaints that go something like this: “Matt, I just don’t meet any guys I actually find attractive.” Or even more severe: “I can’t find a guy who I consider relationship-worthy for me. Maybe I’m destined to be alone…”

I understand that fear, but I also know that this is a dangerous psychology trap, one I’ve seen men and women of all ages fall into. If you feel like no guy is quite what you’re looking for, this is how to solve it…

When did someone’s curiosity allow your interesting side to come out? Leave a comment below…

9 Texts No Man Can Resist

120 Responses to The Simple Truth: Why You Don’t Find More Men Attractive

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  1. Johanna Földesi says:

    my problem is not that i do not find anyone attractive enough to date them
    my problem is more like that i have this feeling inside that shouts “No way!”, but at the same time I do feel attracted to a few people. For example I couldn’t be sexually attracted to someone to whom I’m not romantically attracted – I cannot help it, I’m wired like this: I even feel physically sick of the thought that they would touch me in any way, if I’m not attracted to a guy romantically. I think it’s called demi-sexuality, btw, so yes, I am one.
    So, how about this phenomenon? Because what you’re saying is true and all that, but what happens when you’re just not wired like most people who could sleep with anyone even without having had developed feelings for the person they are dating?

  2. Peggy Kluge says:

    ok,Ive tried that,because I do not think that all my wisdom is right,actually far from it when it comes to love. But my intuition about people is mostly right. I gave someone a chance who was not that appealing to me but showed enormous moral principles. It was a big trap I realized right away. Some men cannot stop talking all about themselves,it’s just exhausting. He kept talking about his goals,what a pain.

  3. Margishi says:

    Whem i am at level of my full of self Confidence and when i answer the person perfectly and as he wants to get …at that time he interested in me..I think there is no need to create drama and acting to get someone…be the real you and bee the best of you

  4. Nika says:

    There are a ton of interesting good looking guys who would put their best foot forward and keep interesting conversation going for a eve just to announce at the end of the night that they would love to take me home. Lol Not interested in that.

  5. Julia says:

    Because I’m the one who is afraid

  6. Monalisa says:

    Still hard! to find someone attractive.
    I’m in my forties but feeling like in my 30’s…
    For me most men and women above 45 look and are “OLD”

    I’ve done what you tell. Give it time, don’t judge at first sight…
    I met a very nice and intresting guy… He is nice, but I feel friendship for him, no love, no romantic feelings, no physical atraction…

    Where are the youngminded goodlooking over 40 guys? They hookup with Youngsters…

  7. Jacqueline Friedman says:

    I can’t actually remember but I think it was with a guy who was chatting to me on Facebook and he was started talking about being proud of your heritage. An interesting topic as I’m mixed race and I love it.

  8. Vivian says:

    Two years ago. I never felt that way ever again. I always end up getting bored when a guy shows interest in me.

  9. Angela says:

    This video really makes so much sense. I’m a kind of standoffish woman and I’m not really comfortable meeting new people let alone letting them into my life. I reluctantly met a man through someone at my job and to my surprise, I find something very interesting about him. I put up my boundary walls immediately but he doesn’t seem to be negatively phased by them. He’s even very curious about me and has invited me out with him to several places when I’m ready. He’s very family oriented and seems to be a genuinely kind man. I’m very private by nature but it’s actually nice that someone is taking a genuine interest in me bc it gives me a chance to come out of my shell once in a while and breathe in some fresh air. It reminds me as well of some things I like about myself that I’ve forgotten. And yes, I even feel a bit more interesting lol.

  10. You says:

    He sent me a message saying it’s been 10 years since he’s actually found anyone attractive but not just attractive have a magnetic draw to me. I didn’t like him much before that but then saw him in a different light. To bad he turns out to be a narcissist

  11. Shara collins says:

    I am so in tune with the way my mind actually works that I KNOW for sure, I will not meet anyone online. It will happen organically and in person. I am making strides to actually look up and engage with people throughout the day.. I am finding it to be a lot of fun. I am shocked at how many men actually “check me out” …. now to capitalize on this is my next step.

    Fortunately I am a very intuitive woman and can see HUGE red flags within minutes of meeting someone. I am not ever willing to sacrifice my independence and happiness to be with a man that is not in the same place in life that I am in. Like attracts like. It’s hapoening for me in small steps. In my book, that means good and emotionally healthy.

  12. Lori in Simi Valley says:

    I can literally have a conversation with just about anyone, man or woman. It’s a art learned from many years of being a nurse. However, I tend to be a pretty private,and I don’t offer a lot of personal information right out of the gate, and especially not on the first or even second date. So, the conversations are typically kept on a superficial level despite the fact that I love and crave deep, below the surface conversations. When I meet a man who is genuinely interested in me, who asks me questions about me and my interests and is truly interested in what I’m saying, and has good body language (looking me in the eyes while talking, facing me, leaning towards me, reaching out to playfully touch me, and isn’t distracted by his phone or the people around us), then that flips a switch in me, ignites a deeper level of excitement and playfulness in me, and in turn causes me to open up and allow him to enter my world and makes me more interested in learning about his world. I actually went on a date just last night, and all of the above occurred. It was refreshing and exciting and for the first time in a long time, I am looking forward to seeing him again. =)

  13. Nicole says:

    I’m a pastry chef & was working one day. We had an electrician come in to fix something & he was in my area of the kitchen. Oh, did I mention he was HOT?! Well, he was! So I got nervous & didn’t know what to say to start chatting & he saw what I was making. (It was a very detailed Cat in the Hat cake). He walked by & started asking me things about the cake that I was shocked anyone that wasn’t a chef would ask. He got my full attention & I found myself stopping & turning to face him, when normally I’d keep my head down & continue to talk & work. The conversation ended up very flirty & fun. He knew what to say & I was surprised by my reaction to him. Did I mention he was HOT?! Lol
    Anyway, he ended up having to leave to go get a new something for something & has yet to return.
    NOW WHAT?! I want to see what happens next but am more nervous now that before!!

  14. cheryl says:

    i never once found anybody whom i also like should interest in me mostly its me who found smbody interesting

  15. Poodle says:

    Honestly, this is the other way around, IMO. I’m usually very interested in people in general and let’s say i met a guy who is interesting, well but at first, then more I get to know him, I find him boring/ unattractive. I find most guys are interested in women in superficial levels only. They are stubborn and as soon as their superficial needs are met, they don’t try to get to know who I really am.

  16. MAR says:

    I don’t think a man worked hard enough to get to know me, I think only my guy friends are the only one that work hard to get to know me. The men I’ve dated they never got to understand me, nor know anything about me. I hate how you want to have a normal conversation with some men and every conversation always have to lead to something sexual when I dont show any signs of flirting or interested in the topic at all. I think the best time I had was in highschool sad but true, men worked hard and had lots of patients with me, now social media had made it almost impossible to date someone decent, and no one since highschool brought out the best in me. I always stay joking and laughing, hardly serious, I’ve been myself all along, but I just don’t get how you supposed to act other than myself, I dont want to pretend to be anyone else but myself.

  17. Trudy says:

    My interesting or passionate side came out when I got a pass made at me by a complete stranger who I deemed a player on He was thirsty to the point of me looking up his Fb account. After looking this guy up and seen he was following many women and most of his friends were women I warned him that we would not be a good match. He was separated for 4 years from his wife and I told him I don’t date married men. I googled his name and found out he was in trouble before but yet did not get charged, I told him I would be friends but nothing else. He was very pesty at first but I think he got the hint after I threatened to “Bible thump” him. I was definitely overwhelmed by this man and his pursuit, again not boyfriend material although I was attracted physically only.

  18. Lucy Short says:

    Once this guy asked for my snapchat and I didn’t want to be rood, so I gave it to him. At first I really had no interest in him, at least until he started asking questions. Instead of the superficial easy get to know you questions, he would ask things like “what is one of your goals and where did that originate from?” or “what’s a character flaw you have and how are you overcoming it?” When he started asking these questions I realized there was a lot more to this guy then I first assumed. And I started asking those questions back. I quickly became very attracted to him and we have been together ever since. This was a guy I had no interest in, but because he took the time to get to know me on a deeper level I fell head over heels for him.

  19. Annette says:

    I love talking to different people & learning about them. I wish I could talk to more men as I do women, but I find as soon as you show interest in learning about them, listening & sharing a few things too, they think I’m interested in a romantic way & they will rush to get intimate. How can I talk with men & not have them think I’m keen, while I get to know a bit more about them? I’ve dated guys I thought, o.k he’s not my ideal type, but he’s a nice person we have a few things in common, but unfortunately in my experience there definitely needs to be a spark from the start.

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